Philadelphia Church of God Members To Soon Sit On Throne Of David Next To Christ

Ever since Gerald Flurry traipsed through the woods in Oregon trying to find HWA's prayer rock, he has been on a wild, fantastical journey of absurd speculations. The search for this rock plays into the blind worship of all things Herbert Armstrong. When Flurry supposedly found the very rock Herbert knelt at. Flurry also had to kneel in reverence to the holy rock before him.

Flurry then dug up his new relic and shipped it back to Edmond, Oklahoma, where it was placed in an outside garden to be stared at in awe and to sit and contemplate over. 

It wasn't long till it was noticed that most were not paying holy homage to the rock as Flurry thought his people should. So it was brought inside to be enclosed in a case while it rested on royal purple velvet.

Then,  not long after, Flurry's resident demon told him that this rock was going to be the very rock Jesus was coming back to be crowned upon as King of Kings. The holiness of the rock increased 100 fold.

It was also revealed to Flurry around this time that the dance that David did while naked was actually Irish Dance. Soon, hundred's of thousands of dollars were to be spent on dance studios, staging, music composing, etc, to showcase David's dance, though fully clothed. Flurry and his crew came up with a new idea to showcase Herb's stone in a throne chair and have church youth dance around it in a pagan/fertility dance.

Flurry's next step was to claim Jesus was returning to Edmond to sit upon this very stone when he returns, next week, according to Dave Pack. This, however, would present a logistical nightmare since Armstrongism always said Jesus was returning to sit upon the coronation chair in Westminster Abbey that held the Stone of Scone. England pulled a double whammy when they gave the stone back to them; it was proof that a new stone was to be used, and who on the entire earth possessed such a thing? Bob Thiel? Nope, he is always a dollar short and a day late to everything. Gerald Flurry claimed that Herbert's stone was the new coronation stone Jesus was returning to. Flurry then bought new property in Jerusalem in order to have a European home in case they need to move Herb's stone closer to England and the Lia Fáil phallus in Ireland, where Abraham supposedly buried the ark that PCG wants to dig up. In an interesting side note, not only has Flurry caressed the Lia Fáil stone and preached before it, but the Great Bwana Bob Thiel also stroked it when he too preached a sermon from there. It is interesting how the aberrant splinter cults of Armstrongism want to return to their pagan roots.

PCG members are regularly hit with articles about being royalty in God's sight. Now, they too can sit on the very throne Jesus is returning to. Since they will be equal gods to Jesus, reigning next to him, it is only right that they too will be crowned upon Herb's stone, thus allowing them to be seated next to JC himself, equal gods ruling the universe.

PCG's Brad McDonald wrote this today, June 10, 2025

A humble, teachable, contrite spirit is the first, most important attitude we must build! All other righteous character traits spring from it: godly fear, spiritual understanding, repentance, faith. Happiness requires humility, as do healthy relationships with others, and happy, righteous marriages. Humble children are happy children. 

 

“This rare character trait would solve all world problems and revolutionize every human life,” Mr. Flurry wrote in 2019. Humility will solve your problems too. It is at least part of the solution to every trial, problem and struggle you face. It is the key that unlocks the door to a vibrant, joyous relationship with God. 

 

“David asked, Who am I to even be able to give to God? (1 Chronicles 29:14),” Mr. Flurry writes. “This is the attitude God wants from us. He wants us to thank Him for the understanding and the opportunity to be a part of His Work. He wants us to thank Him that we can be His sons and daughters and He can be our Father. We in the firstfruits calling have the opportunity to sit on the throne of David at headquarters forever! What a reward! Who are we to be given such an honor and such blessings?”

Samuel Kitchen Invites Aaron Dean To Step Up And Take On His True Mantle And Restore The Worldwide Church Of God

 

Aaron Dean responds with this:

Aaron K Dean

Yes I am the only surviving member of ACE. Half left the truth and all have died. My assignment may have been a Caleb and not a Joshua as you presume. If indeed God has something for me to do, then He will reveal it and I will do it. Christ,the head of the church decides if, when, how and who. We must all defer to Him. Taking matters into your own hands without God's direction has never worked well. Time will tell.

Aaron Dean

This excited Sameul Kitchen, who asked Aaron Dean if people could start sending their tithes and offering money to him. What???????????????

Aaron K Dean can I list you as the “DULY APPOINTED” on worldwidechurchofgod.org and ask brethren to save aside tithes and offerings, for you? 

 

I am reminded of, Ezra 2:63. 

 

“And the Tirshatha(who was Nehemiah)said unto them, that they should not eat of the most holy things, till there stood up a priest with Urim and with Thummim.” 

 

Now we know our High Priest is Jesus Christ, but we also know there is a human instrument in Christ’s hands. 

 

You, have the delegated authority to handle and receive tithes and offerings from our people! Until you stand up in your position, we should save aside our tithes and offerings, as Malachi 3 commands so that there may be meat in God’s house. 

 

Notice meat, not milk. 

 

I want to help you stand up, so do other brethren. I also don’t want to offend you by inclusion in something you don’t agree with. 

 

Let me know.

I want to strengthen you in the Lord. If that means giving my life, my everything, then so be it. There is nothing more important than God’s Church getting ready! I believe we are entering a time of no more delay.

Recapture Tomorrow

If this were to ever happen, this would deflate Bob Thiel's cult big time. Bob would have no reason to even exist any more. Hilarious times are ahead! 

Armstrongism gets crazier by the day! 

Crackpot Know-it-all Prophet Blows A Prophetic Gasket Over Banned! Again!!

 

Visions of Fatima, Mayans, witchdoctors, and absurd bible interpretations. 

The list of blasphemies is endless.

As Los Angeles burns with rioters, God's most highly favored self-appointed prophet to ever exist in the arc of humanity's existence on this earth has blown a major gasket over Banned. For some unimaginable reason, this blog seems to pop his cork a lot! I sit here and ponder daily how is it that we can offend him so easily? I guess that is why he is an avid reader of this blog, multiple times a day.

I can hear the wailing and gnashing of teeth all the way down here in Pasadena. Never has the Church of God had a more delicate and easily offended self-appointed and illegitimately ordained prophet in its midst. That's saying something considering the many self-appointed prophets that preceded him in COGland.

Here is what the little guy started off with:

Well, some of Satan’s allies at Banned by HWA continue to post lies about me and others in the Continuing Church of God (CCOG). 

 

Here is some of what was posted yesterday by Gary Leonard at Banned: 

 

Look at what your rebellion and refusal to submit to church government caused when you apostasized from the Living Church of God. Your traitorous, backstabbing actions and lies were appalling. It is no wonder Rod Meredith kicked you to the curb! Heck, even Gaylyn Bonjour came out and said you were wrong in taking his blessing as justification for starting a new splinter group. 

 

That is a lie, I was never kicked out of LCG, nor did I apostatize. And, I spoke to Gaylyn Bonjour myself many times and that is not what he said to me. 

 

Gary Leonard, webmaster at the Banned site, has been spreading those lies about me for many years.

All of you big, bad meanies here had better stop picking on Bwana Bob! How could you do this when he is God's most highly favored prophet, preordained before the earth was formed, to come in these perilous end times to give a warning to the world, wait...sorry, to print hundreds and hundreds of booklets no one cares to read.

The Great Bwana loves to gaslight Living Church of God leadership, Gaylyn Bonjour, and the rest of the church by claiming that Bonjour double blessed him to start a new lacking in personality cult. Bonjour did no such thing and did not have that in mind when he blessed Bob that he speak clearly to Rod Meredith when he went in for a meeting. Bonjour and NO INTENTION of blessing Bwana Bob or ordaining him to start a new church made in a fit of rebellion. For Bwana Bob to claim otherwise is to blatantly lie, which he does, continually.

God's greatest gift to the church then trots out Jesus to support this intense persecution that the Great Bwana is suffering. If he would stop lying and making outlandish claims, no one would be bothering him, 
alas...

10 Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, For theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 11 Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. 12 Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you (Matthew 5:10-12)

Certain ones at Banned and various other places have regularly been fulfilling that prophecy and saying all kinds of things falsely against me, the CCOG, and others in various COGs.

One thing that many people at Banned and the other anti-COG sites cannot stand is the idea that the true ministry is not in it for the money. Many who became bitter against the WCG have asserted that the ministry is only in it for the money. Certain ones have claimed that the COG ministry lives exceedingly well off the backs of the tithe-payers. Yet I do not, as my income does NOT come from the CCOG nor those who donate to it.

I can state, with God as my witness, that Bob Thiel is NOT a true minister of the church. He never has been and never will be unless he repents of his lies and blasphemies. Besides, he is illegitimately ordained and has absolutely ZERO apostolic lineage in his illegitimate ordination, so that simple fact alone invalidates him as a true minister of the church.

The Great Bwana then goes on to compare everyone here to Goebbels from WWII. I haven't stopped laughing for the last 15 minutes at that one! One thing is for sure: Bwana Bob is a real comedian!

He writes the following with the special comment that HE kicked the Living Church of God out instead of them kicking him out.

Satan’s minions have long followed Joseph Goebbels’ playbook on this–and, of course, did so well before Joseph Goebbels was ever born (cf. John 8:43-47). 

 

Sadly, many have accepted lies promoted by people on the anti-COG websites. 

 

While I have not responded to most of the falsehoods and accusations they continue to post about CCOG and me, sometimes I do. 

 

Gary Leonard, the webmaster of the anti-COG Banned by HWA site has a history of libeling me and make false assertions about me. 

 

For example, in June 2020 he posted:

Meredith publicly rebuked Thiel from the pulpit and kicked him out of the church (Leonard G. Why do COG members still feel the need that they still have to go to the ministers for answers? June 19, 2020) 

 

That was about the third time in three weeks in 2020 that he had some version of that lie at his website–and his site has had versions of it since. 

 

Of course, all the top leadership of the Living Church of God know full well I was not kicked out. I left because the leadership had serious integrity problems and refused to keep promises that they repeatedly made to me. 

 

Gary Leonard cannot get over the fact that it was I who “kicked out” LCG on December 28, 2012, not the other way around. If he and others at his libelous site would stop repeating the lie I was kicked out of LCG, I would not feel the desire to sometimes comment about it. 

 

Perhaps it should be mentioned that right after I left, even Jim Meredith (son of Dr. Meredith) emailed me and asked me to reconsider and come back. I declined.

Using a comment from Jim Meredith to support oneself is not a wise decision since Jim is not known as the brightest bulb in LCG pack. 

LCG  leadership has posted over and over on their blogs and in comments to LCG members that Bob was kicked out and that the integrity problem lay clearly at Bwana Bob's feet due to his ingrained narcissism. Rod Meredith about how much Bob disdained instruction:

I have prayed that for your own good and your future reward in God’s Kingdom, you will sincerely ask God at this time to give you an open mind and willing heart to heed Almighty God’s instruction in Proverbs 15:31-33: “The ear that hears the rebukes of life will abide among the wise. He who disdains instruction despises his own soul, but he who heeds rebuke gets understanding. The fear of the Lord is the instruction of wisdom, and before honor is humility.”

And, about his lack of humility: 

Bob, I have personally liked you, wanted to encourage you and have tried to work with you for years. However, I have seen that you have had great difficulty in learning the lessons of deep humility that God wants all of us to learn. With very few exceptions, nearly everyone who knows you has clearly seen that—although you have a quick mind and great energy—you have nearly always thought very highly of yourself and of your own opinions. 

It was not just the ministry that had to deal with the Great Bwana's narcissism; the members got sick of his games, too:

You have offended or at least “bugged” dozens of Church members with this very self-important, pushy and “know-it-all” attitude and approach. So if I, as a minister of Christ for over 60 years and one old enough to be your father—can help you, I would certainly like to do this. For I love you as a fellow human being and one I have known and shared a number of hours with in talking over matters related to the Bible and our entire purpose here on this earth.

LCG members have been the most vocal about calling Bwana Bob out as a fraud. They saw it when he was in LCG. That is why the church never ordained him. Global Church of God also saw the same toxic characteristics and never ordained him. The Worldwide Church of God also saw his toxic mannerism and refused to ordain him. 

The Great Bwana then drags Gavin Rumney up from his grave to try and discredit him for exposing Bwana Bob's Indian diploma mill. That has been Bwana Bob's sore spot for years now.

He then goes into great detail, giving his tainted version of just how things went down with Gaylyn Bonjour's so-called double blessing and a few more meltdowns over me.

He counts his so-called persecution s a blessing:

So yes, Gary Leonard, Jesus said I am blessed when you post all kinds of insults, evil, and false things about me. Jesus knew His faithful people would be lied about.

The only problem with this is that the so-called "continuing" Church of God is not God's church. Never has been and ever will be as long as it prostitutes itself to the law and the diabolically wicked biblical interpretations that Bwana Bob makes that lead his followers in Africa astray. They certainly may be true seekers of truth but have been swayed by corrupt leaders who have chuch-hopped various Sabbatarian groups for decades, trying to find out who will send the most money.

I can state for a fact that Bwana Bob Thiel is NOT a legitimate minister of God. He is NOT a leader of a so-called "true" church. I can state for a fact that Bwana Bob's so-called church is built upon lies, half-truths, and doctrinal heresy. No real follower of Christ would ever be a member of Bwana Bob's church. That is also a fact. Bob Thiel does NOT come in the name of Jesus Christ.

The Bible makes profound statements about the lying false prophet, Bob Thiel:

2 Peter 2:1 ESV

But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing upon themselves swift destruction. 

 

1 John 4:1-6 ESV

Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world. By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you heard was coming and now is in the world already. Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. They are from the world; therefore they speak from the world, and the world listens to them. ... 

 

2 Corinthians 11:13-15 ESV

For such men are false apostles, deceitful workmen, disguising themselves as apostles of Christ. And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So it is no surprise if his servants, also, disguise themselves as servants of righteousness. Their end will correspond to their deeds. 

 

Matthew 24:11 ESV

And many false prophets will arise and lead many astray. 

 

2 Timothy 4:3 ESV 

 

For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions,

Bob adds to scripture and the words of God with his own lies, which God condemns. All of his crap about dreams, visions, Fatima, Mayans, double blessings are all fluff meant to lead people astray. His resident witchdoctors in Africa in his congregations have him pegged! They know exactly what he is.

Deuteronomy 18:20-22 ESV 

But the prophet who presumes to speak a word in my name that I have not commanded him to speak, or who speaks in the name of other gods, that same prophet shall die.’ And if you say in your heart, ‘How may we know the word that the Lord has not spoken?’— when a prophet speaks in the name of the Lord, if the word does not come to pass or come true, that is a word that the Lord has not spoken; the prophet has spoken it presumptuously. You need not be afraid of him.

No one in ANY Church of God needs to fear Bob Thiel. 

He is a false prophet. 

He did not receive dreams or visions from God.

He is a false minister. 

He is NOT a true minister of God. 

God did not send him.

God did not command him to speak.

He is NOT leading a true Church of God. 

He is a deceiver of the brethren.

God never sent him to the church.

These are immutable facts.

Jeremiah 23:16 ESV 

 

Thus says the Lord of hosts: “Do not listen to the words of the prophets who prophesy to you, filling you with vain hopes. They speak visions of their own minds, not from the mouth of the Lord.

Deuteronomy 18:20 ESV 

But the prophet who presumes to speak a word in my name that I have not commanded him to speak, or who speaks in the name of other gods, that same prophet shall die. 

 

Jeremiah 14:14 ESV 

And the Lord said to me: “The prophets are prophesying lies in my name. I did not send them, nor did I command them or speak to them. They are prophesying to you a lying vision, worthless divination, and the deceit of their own minds.

Dave Pack CONFIRMS Jesus Returning on June 11

 

RCG HQ after Jesus fails to return for the 590th time

Crackpot Prophet Says True Education Only Comes From Hierarchal Church Government

Would you look to this man to provide you "true education"?

God's most highly favored Church of God leader, foreordained by God to come in the perilous last days to bring true education through true church government to the world, is back again quoting from one of Herbert Armstrong's booklets, The Seven Laws of Success.

The Great Bwana makes the following statement:

While there are many things that help one be successful, let’s focus on one that he mentioned, knowledge and that comes from true education.

The Book of Ecclesiastes adds “wisdom brings success” (Ecclesiastes 10:10). 

 

So the right knowledge and its use–wisdom–brings success. 

 

True education helps lead to that. 

 

Actually, that is one of the functions of the ministry:

14 How then shall they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how shall they believe in Him of whom they have not heard? And how shall they hear without a preacher? 15 And how shall they preach unless they are sent? As it is written:

“How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the gospel of peace,

Who bring glad tidings of good things!” (Romans 10:14-15)

11 And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, 12 for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, 13 till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; 14 that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, 15 but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head — Christ — 16 from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love. (Ephesians 4:11-16)

The only problem with quoting these scriptures to back his stance is that the vast majority have no idea what Christ accomplished or the beliefs tied to those accomplishments. Armstrongism never taught it. Ask most COG members to describe the importance of the law, and they can wax poetic. Ask them to talk about Jesus, what he did, and what he accomplished, and the New Covenant, and you will draw a blank stare. The works of Jesus and the New Covenant cannot be discussed without bastardizing them both with law-keeping. 

Following the god of Armstrongism is about submitting to the law and, more importantly, to the ministry through church government. Forget about freedom in Christ, that's Protestant heresy! True faith and education come from submission to the law and your church leader.

The Great Bwana writes:

Proper hierarchical church governance provides true education. Those “independent” of it, are carried about by improper winds of doctrine, including false prophetic understandings

Seriously, dude? Look at what your rebellion and refusal to submit to church government caused when you apostasized from the Living Church of God. Your traitorous, backstabbing actions and lies were appalling. It is no wonder Rod Meredith kicked you to the curb! Heck, even Gaylyn Bonjour came out and said you were wrong in taking his blessing as justification for starting a new splinter group.

The Great Bwana Bob and the improperly named "continuing" Church of God are a shining example of what rebellion and hard-heartedness cause. 

 

Ai COG: Hotel Armstrong: You Can Check Out, but You go to the Lake of Fire

 

The Cult’s Favorite Tactic: Blame the Exiles

In an August 1980 Good News Article, the Ol’ Herb was on a mission to demonize anyone who dared leave his flock. In a piece that reeks of desperation, he claimed ex-members—those “embittered” dissidents—spend their days obsessing over what’s “wrong” with the WCG, conjuring up “monstrous, impossible, filthy lies” about the church and its leaders. Their minds, he said, are consumed with negativity, twisting facts into falsehoods, spreading rumors, and fueling their “vengeful bitterness.” Meanwhile, loyal members focus on the “wonderful truths” of God’s work—see the difference? If you don’t, you’re in danger of becoming one of those satanic exiles. It’s the WCG’s favorite gaslighting trick: don’t question us, or you’ll end up like them—cursed, miserable, and doomed.

We show how Armstrong and his demonic decedents shamed ex-members and current ones alike to silence dissent, all while ignoring the real reasons people left—like the WCG’s corruption, failed prophecies, and predatory leaders. In an unsurprising reveal: those “dissidents” weren’t the problem—the entire religious system of Armstrongism was.

Painting the Villain: Ex-Members as Satanic Liars

The article kicks off with a vicious attack on ex-members, claiming their “principal purpose in life” is to “expose the evils” of the WCG. The founder paints them as bitter haters whose every thought and conversation revolves around what’s “wrong” with the church. They’re not just critical—they’re liars, twisting facts into “filthy” rumors about the WCG and its leaders. He quotes Jude 8-19 to seal their fate, calling them “filthy dreamers” who “defile the flesh,” “speak evil of dignities,” and are destined for “the blackness of darkness forever.” They’re “raging waves of the sea, foaming out their own shame,” driven by “ungodly lusts,” and lacking the Holy Spirit. In short, they’re not just wrong—they’re satanic, and their fruit is chaos, leading splinter groups that fight each other and drag others away from Christ entirely. If you’ve been in any of the WCG’s offshoots for any length of time, you have probably seen similar letters and sentiments expressed in a similar fashion.

This is gaslighting at its ugliest. The WCG didn’t just excommunicate members—they vilified them, turning them into cartoonish villains to scare the flock into loyalty. But ex-members weren’t making up “filthy lies”—they were exposing real ones, like the cult’s failed prophecies (1972 Tribulation, anyone?), the triple tithes that bankrupted families while the Armstrongs lived like kings, and scandals like Garner Turd Armstrong’s college harem at Ambassador College, which we covered in “Suspicious Lies.” The WCG couldn’t handle the truth, so they smeared the whistleblowers, gaslighting members into thinking criticism was satanic. It’s a classic cult move: don’t fix your problems—just blame the ones who call them out.

The Warning Shot: Don’t Join the Damned

The dear leader doesn’t stop at ex-members—he turns the spotlight on you, the reader. He warns that their bitterness could infect your heart, urging you to “think no evil” and set your mind on “things above” (Colossians 3:1-3, Proverbs 23:7). The WCG, he says, is the “Body of Christ,” preparing to be Christ’s spotless Bride at His soon return, so forget the past—your sins are covered if you repent. But ex-members? They’re not blessed like the WCG, which is “back on track,” growing, and knit together with Christ. He tells you to pray for them, that they might repent and return, but also to pray for each other to endure to the end, now “near.”

Here’s the gaslighting twist: if you even think about sympathizing with ex-members, you’re at risk of becoming one of them—bitter, cursed, and lost. The WCG framed itself as the pure, blessed church, while ex-members were miserable failures leading doomed splinter groups. But the reality? The WCG was bleeding members because of its own failures—financial exploitation, authoritarian control like the Visiting Program we exposed in “Gestapo in God’s Name,” and leadership scandals. Ex-members weren’t “unblessed” for leaving; they were free, while the WCG was the one fighting to survive, hemorrhaging followers to those “eight or 10 little splinter groups” that wouldn’t have existed without the cult’s own dysfunction. The founder gaslit members into thinking the problem was the dissidents, not the cult that drove them away.

The Real Lies: The WCG’s House of Cards

The article’s biggest lie is its refusal to admit why ex-members left. Herbie claims they’re just bitter and satanic, but let’s look at the facts. By 1980, the WCG was a mess—GTA had been disfellowshipped in 1978 for his Ambassador College harem, a scandal that confirmed members’ worst suspicions about the leadership’s hypocrisy. The cult’s prophecies kept failing (no Tribulation in 1936, 1951, or 1972, no Petra escape), yet they still preached the end was “near,” keeping members in fear, The triple tithes left families broke while the Armstrongs lived in luxury, pulling in $200 million a year by the 1980s (over $600 million today).

Ex-members weren’t “conjuring up lies”—they were telling the truth, and the leadership couldn’t handle it. The splinter groups the founder mocks? They formed because people saw through the cult’s facade and wanted out, even if they didn’t fully escape Armstrongism’s grip. The real “fruit” of the WCG wasn’t growth or peace—it was broken lives, financial ruin, and a pipeline to atheism for those who, as the article admits, “departed entirely from Christ” after leaving. The WCG gaslit members into thinking ex-members were the problem, but the cult’s own corruption was the root of it all.

Stop Falling for the Shame Game

The WCG’s gaslighting in “How Ex-member Dissidents Fill Their Minds” was a desperate endgame: smear ex-members as satanic liars, shame current members into silence, and pretend the cult is God’s pure church—all while ignoring the scandals, failed prophecies, and control tactics that drove people away. The founder wanted you to believe dissidents were the problem, but they were just the ones brave enough to speak the truth about the WCG’s rot. Stop falling for the shame game. Your doubts, like those of the ex-members, aren’t satanic—they’re a sign you’re waking up. Ditch the cult’s lies, and walk out of the trap for good.

Hotel Armstrong © 2025 by AiCOG is licensed under CC BY-ND 4.0

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In Defense of Rendered Righteousness: Concerning the Holy Inquiry into Beef Tallow

 

In Defense of Rendered Righteousness: 

Concerning the Holy Inquiry into Beef Tallow

By Elder Rev. Dr. Percival Thaddeus Grone

Brethren, Saints, and Those Who Sauté Without Understanding,

It has come to my attention, with no small measure of grief, that the recent doctrinal clarity offered by the United Church of God concerning beef tallow has been met not with reverence, but with ridicule. A certain blog, frequented by the spiritually unrefined and the casually blasphemous, has seen fit to mock the sacred labor of the Doctrine Committee (DC), reducing a matter of considerable theological weight to the level of fast food and pop health fads.

I write not to rebuke the DC – for their forthcoming work will certainly speak for itself, glistening with unction – but rather to issue a gentle but firm reminder to those who dare to question the legitimacy of this fat-based inquiry, who dismiss as trivial what may yet prove to be a hinge upon which great eschatological truths swing.

Let the mockers take note: it is no light matter to despise the day of purified truth.

Of Tallow and Torah

The Levitical code – often skimmed, rarely digested – makes frequent and solemn mention of the handling, burning, and prohibition of certain fats. (Leviticus 3:16-17, 7:23-25). It does not distinguish, as modern man does, between “culinary” and “ceremonial” uses, nor does it shrink from specificity.

If the Law devotes multiple verses to the fat upon the inwards, is it so far-fetched that a Church born of Scripture would pause to consider whether piping hot tallow may cross the invisible boundary from cooking aid to covenantal compromise?

This is not pedantry. This is Adipotheology – the study of sacred fats and their role in the moral metabolism of the faithful.

The Problem of Unfiltered Commentary

I have read the remarks. “Who has even heard of beef tallow?” one anonymous scoffer asked, perhaps while microwaving seed-oil-drenched remnants of Babylonian Cuisine. “Do we really need doctrinal statements on these things?” cries another, forgetting thatdoctrinal papers are the very medium by which councils preserve the faith once delivered.

Even more troubling is the implication that such inquiries are mere busywork for Church administrators – something to “justify their existence.” I ask you: Did Moses not receive detailed instructions for tabernacle measurements, curtain colors, and priestly undergarments? Shall we now accuse him of time-wasting?

This same nameless critic – whose credentials remain as elusive as their courage – likened this holy inquiry to “studying the sex lives of gnats.” I would caution such individuals to reflect more deeply on the plagues of Egypt, in which the Lord made abundant use of small insects to reveal the hardness of men’s hearts.

Clarification, Not Control

It has also been suggested that such discussions are meant to cow the brethren into submissive dependence. This, too, is a theological offal – malnourished thinking dressed up as discernment. The aim is not control, but clarity. A member who inquires whether their use of tallow aligns with divine expectation is not a slave, but a seeker.

And if a minister lacks the discernment to answer such a question, then yes – a study paper is needed.

One does not dismiss the map simply because the road is narrow.

What the Scoffers Miss

Amidst the scoffing, a pattern emerges: a refusal to believe that small things matter. That fats, genealogies, shadows of the Law – while perhaps minor in caloric content – may carry theological weight. These are not the concerns of fluffy-minded milquetoasts. These are the concerns of covenant-keepers, watchmen on the dietary walls.

The idea that “we eat fat every time we eat meat” is presented as a trump card. But this is like saying “we sin every day,” as though frequency excuses gravity. Even if true, it calls not for mockery but for mindfulness.

A Final Word to the Theologically Lean

To the bloggers and commenters who see tallow as a distraction from greater suffering in the world: it is possible – indeed, necessary – to care about both. The Church is called to live in a state of faithful fatfulness – not gluttonous, not ascetic, but watchful. Whether in the pulpit or the pantry, righteousness requires attention to detail.

The Doctrine Committee, in its deliberations, has dignified the question. The bloggers, in their derision, have revealed something altogether more concerning: a tendency to laugh where trembling would be more appropriate.

May the saints consider carefully what is offered, what is received, and what is scorned.

Elder Rev. Dr. Percival Thaddeus Grone

Percival Thaddeus Grone

Senior Fellow of Sacrificial Nutrition and Theological Lipidology at the First Antioch Institute of Levitical Wellness
Certified Liturgical Edibility Analyst (C.L.E.A.N.)

Still Watching Since 1844