A Little Perspective Is In Order Here...

Oh, oh...Look! THE Send it in Apostle, Joshua C Pack!  

And over there! That Prophet Gerald Flurry himself! 

Whoa!... and there... No Title Double Portioned ,You can't dream this stuff up but did, Bitter Bob!  

Can it be?   A Presiding Gerald too!  

Oh my gosh....

An "I lie not! You'll wish you'd listened" can't recall the name but very important somebody !

...and ....and....

Huh....?

Where'd they go?

Never mind.....

COG Pharisaical Zealot Says: I Have Been Warning The Big Three COG's And They Refuse To Imitate My Zeal

Where would the Church of God be today without all of its prophets, apostles and god haunted leaders?  Every day one of these guru's blasts out a warning that COG members, for some insane reason, refuse to follow.  COG members then get slathered with all kinds of labels declaring them Laodiceans, backsliding, lukewarm, or lacking in zeal.

Various COG leaders believe their message is the one and only true message and that everyone needs to heed their admonitions without question. James Malm, the resident Pharisaical Zealot of the Church of God is perturbed that after 10 years of graceless ranting, no one in the Big Three COG's will listen to him.

The warnings have been going out for nearly ten years now, yet the leadership of the big three and most other organizations will not turn to a zeal to live by every Word of God.  

They are convinced that they are right and reject anything which does not come from them as being unimportant or wrong (Hos 4:6, 6:5-6), not realizing how wrong they are (Rev 3:15-22). 

The one true Pharisee and prophet has envisioned an entire scenario that will happen in the next few months as sure proof he is correct.

In the coming months a great victory will be achieved over organized Islamic Extremists while a Grand Bargain for peace in the Middle East which is heavily in Israel’s favor is concluded.  

This in turn is planned to bring great prosperity to America through massive rebuilding conducted by major American Establishment companies throughout the Middle East.  The reconstruction is to be financed using donor money, most of it from international donors particularly the oil rich Arab Nations.  

The plan from the beginning of the Syrian conflict has been to inflict as much damage as possible to enable major American companies to engage in massive rebuilding financed by international donors, which would then, along with the regular economic activities;  drive the American economy to great heights of prosperity.  

The prophet is so sure about his prediction that he knows it to be "the truth" that all COG leaders and members should immediately be heeding.  But no, they refuse!

I tell you the truth, although I wish it were not so;  the big three groups of today’s spiritual Ekklesia as well as the vast majority of other groups in the COG constellation and most of the brethren, will look with their eyes at the apparent great prosperity and will be deceived into thinking that the coming of the LORD will take much longer and that they will have a period of prosperity to do a great Elijah work.  

Malm imagines himself as the guardian of the two witless COG witnesses.  His men/women will be rejected by all of the other COG false prophets. So far, like Bob Thiel's warnings, all of the COG's have overwhelmingly rejected the rants of these exclusive prophets, including Malm.

When God’s two prophets come in God’s power, they will be rejected by most of the brotherhood as false prophets trying to prevent their self imagined great Elijah work!  

Only a very few, perhaps a few hundred, will respond by turning to live by every Word of God and to follow the directions of God’s two servants.  Then great tribulation will burst upon those who have rejected the warnings and chosen their own imaginations.  

Prophet Malm does NOT lie!  It is all a test!  A test by God to see which 100 or so COG members will heed his call.

I lie not, a great test is upon us!  Almighty God wants to know who will be zealously faithful to HIM and who will follow idols of men contrary to the Word of God.  

Why is it that everything in Armstrongite theology has to be one continuous "test" after another?  No COG member has ever passed any of the tests and qualified for anything.  If they did, we would not have the endless stream of self-appointed upstarts we have today in the church.

I bare witness that most of the organizations and brethren are, in their own way, zealous for God, its just that most have been deceived into thinking that organizational loyalty is the same as loyalty to God.  Therefore they follow idols of men into sins like the modern Rabbinic Calendar and Sabbath pollution, and rejecting the increase of understanding that God has promised for our day (Dan 12).  

Relying on their false traditions instead of relying on the Word of God, they reject spiritual growth and growth in godly knowledge.  Therefore God is testing us and God will divide his faithful from the followers of men and false traditions.  

Those that heed Zealot Malm's clarion call will be allowed to enter Petra where they will be subjected to 3 1/2 half years of ENDLESS sermonizing on zeal and the law.  Jesus will be kept outside the gates of Petra in order to allow the law to reign supreme. While Jesus is outside the gates he will be preparing a huge army of angels to prepare for war on the United States, Canada, England and Australia.  Then, James Malm and his Wiccan sidekick Constance will present the 100 or so true believers to his Jesus and will mount up on steads of white to join in that mighty army of righteous vengeance.  When they ride into the United States with that great army they will catch the folks in UCG, RCG, PCG, COGWA, cCOG, and LCG by surprise.

The small number who pass the test will be spared God’s correction yet, they will continue to learn in a new environment.   

The vast majority of today’s organizations and brethren will fail the test and will be caught by surprise, not because they have not been warned, but because they have rejected the warnings.    

Those who do not respond to the warnings to turn to and to live by every Word of God, will be taken by surprise (1Thess 5:3).  Then they will fall into the furnace of affliction in the hope that they can still be turned to godliness. 

All COG's have failed the test!  Yeah, right...

Ron Weinland Forced His Wife to Lay In The Tub With A Blanket Covering Her While He Preached

Can Armstrongism get any crazier?

In 2008 Weinland gave a sermon on the 1260 days...

In this past week’s sermon Ron delivered an interesting message that indicated that his wife Laura (the silent witness), on more than one occasion, had to place a blanket in their hotel room bathtub, and remain there in the bathtub covered in a blanket, while Ronnie gave his sermon in the comfort of their spacious hotel room.   This of course was to elevate distractions, while Ron could concentrate and deliver his sermon.  Could you imagine spending approximately 2 hours sitting or laying in a bathtub covered in a blanket?  I can’t.  This is pathetic.  

42:23-42:42 …I was going to mention here that she [Laura] is actually in the room this time.  It shows growth on my part in being able to speak.  I guess she doesn’t have to go into the bathroom this time and put the big blanket to cover her in the tub like she did during Passover last year.  Sometimes it has been difficult for me to speak when there is one or a few in the room compared to an audience…

Earlier in the sermon, Ron declared that prior to the delivery of this sermon; he approached his wife and caught her off guard by proclaiming that God wanted her ordained as a Prophet.  According to Ron, there wasn’t any discussion with Laura before this decision to ordain her was performed.  It occurred at that very moment.   Later he made reference that he had grown enough to allow Laura to remain in the same room while he delivered the sermon.  That is why she is in attendance at today’s sermon, in their hotel room, with Ron the “Prophet” and not in the “tub” with the blanket.

Finally, Ron did proclaim that he is still the “Prophet” and will only answer to God and Christ.  Laura is a “prophet” that is subordinate to Ron, but has been given authority over all evangelist and elders of the church.

What woman in her right mind would lay in a hotel bathtub, covered with a blanket, while her idiot husband was preaching a sermon in the other room.  What kind of a man would ever make that request? How sick can Armstrongism get?

Will the COG True Two Witnesses Be Able To Do this?

Ron Weinland believes and teaches that he and his dingy wife Laura are and will be the two witnesses of Revelation.

Can you imagine these two morons doing this:

Ron claims he and his wife are the TWs (Two Witnesses) of Rev 11.
1) They breath fire
2) They kill their enemies
3) They turn rivers to blood
4) They shut the heavens
5) They can cast plagues at their discretion, as often as they want.

Not only do they believe this, but Weinland is now starting to teach that there will be a second set of two witless witnesses.

Let me guess, Jeremy and Audra.  Oh wait, Bob Theil and James Malm! Now there's a pair...

From: False Prophet Ron Weinland

Church Festivals and "God's Calendar": Oy veh!

Oy vey (Yiddish: אױ װײ‎) or oy vey ist mir is a Yiddish phrase expressing dismay or exasperation. Also spelled oy vay, oy veh, or oi vey, and often abbreviated to oy, the expression may be translated as, "oh, woe!" or "woe is me!" Its Hebrew equivalent is oy vavoy (אוי ואבוי, ój waävój).^[1][2]

When I was a mere puppy in the ministry, age 25 at the most, and knew all things pertaining to life, death  and the hear after, just ask me, I had the wonderful experience of having to drive Dr. Hoeh out to a farm in Ohio where the local deacon was stirring up the pot in the congregation on all things Passover.  If I recall properly he felt it was being kept on the wrong day, at the wrong time in the wrong way and was getting more and more militant about it at services.  Dr Hoeh talked with him as I fell asleep bored to tears and wondering what the hell it all mattered anyway.  Nothing was going to get solved and the scriptures weren't exactly  clear about it all or we'd not be here in the first place.  Over the years, "How and When to keep the Passover" or other Holy days for that matter was one of life's more annoying experiences in the Church.  Eventually the deacon threatened to call 60 minutes on me , which was popular at the time, and I had to call the police to come to  services to calm things down.  It was nuts. Very nuts.

 My FIRST of many stressful welcome to the ministry experiences with WCG.  He left of course and took whoever he could with him.  That's how it works in the Church.  It was  the 70's,  and it was all downhill from there with WCG history, which can be loosely defined as "one damn thing after the next."

I wish I had known that the Pentateuch, not written by any Moses, but rather various authors JEDP (Defined nicely on this site) documented 5 different Festival Calendars depending on who wrote the text.  And here all along I thought God wrote the rules and they were perfectly clear if you just had the right combination to the safe and pieces of God's puzzle.  

Enjoy... http://contradictionsinthebible.com/festival-calendar

There are 5 different festival calendars in the Pentateuch, each one originating from a once separate and independent source:

1. Exodus 23:14-17 (from the Elohist source)
2. Exodus 34:18-26 (from the Yahwist)
3. Deuteronomy 16:1-17 (from the Deuteronomist)
4. Leviticus 23 (from the Priestly source, accredited to the Holiness Code)
5. Numbers 28-29 (also from the pen of P)

I am presently going through these different calendars and will be posting their contradictions and differences over the next few days/weeks. I have already noted a few of these contradictions, those between the earliest sources and Deuteronomy (#109-110, #111, #112, #113, #117, #118, and #168). However, there are a few that I missed and I will additionally be adding the contradictions between the earliest sources and the late Priestly source, as well as those between D and P.

Here, in this initial introductory post, I merely wish to reproduce each of the different calendars in the broadest view possible, and in chronological order—that is from the oldest textual source forward, not from the narrative chronology as these sources now stand in the redacted text.

1) Exodus 23:14-17 (E): 3 pilgrimage festivals to local altars that must be observed by all males

1. Festival of Unleavened Bread (7 day festival in the month of Abib; 7th day is the pilgrimage (Ex 13:6)
2. Harvest Festival (first fruits/grains harvested)
3. Festival of Gathering (end of year harvest)

2) Exodus 34:18-26 (J): 3 pilgrimage festivals to local altars that must be observed by all males

1. Festival of Unleavened Bread (7 days in the month of Abib)
2. Festival of Weeks = Harvest (#168)
3. Festival of Gathering

3) Deuteronomy 16:1-17 (D)

1. Passover + 6 days of Unleavened Bread (specific day of Abib still not specified; Passover must be celebrated at Jerusalem, which is now a pilgrimage festival (#117); Unleavened Bread no longer a pilgrimage festival; Passover is now absorbed as the 1st day of unleavened bread, reducing the Festival of Unleavened Bread to 6 days)
2. Festival of Weeks (now delayed 7 weeks from early E date; now a pilgrimage festival to Jerusalem)
3. Festival of Booths (7 days at Jerusalem; transformation of Festival of Gathering)

4) Leviticus 23 (P): Yahweh’s Appointed Times & Sacred Assemblies

1. Passover & Unleavened Bread (14th & 15th of Abib; 7 days total (=D) or Passover + 7 days (cf. Ex 12:17-20)?; Passover no longer a pilgrimage festival to Jerusalem, but now (again, see E) at home; Unleavened Bread reclaimed a pilgrimage festival; now proclaimed an “eternal law”; burnt-offerings to Yahweh for 7 days, not specified)
2. Festival of Weeks (now proclaimed an “eternal law”; grain & burnt offerings to Yahweh at the first reaping of harvest AND 7 sabbatical weeks later (i.e., start counting on the Sabbath), on the 50th day, more grain & burnt offerings to Yahweh, plus sin and peace offerings)
3. Horn Blast Holy Day (1st day of 7th month; offerings to Yahweh)
4. Day of Purgation (10th day of 7th month; an “eternal law”; offerings to Yahweh, see Lev 16)
5. Festival of Booths (15th day of 7th month; an “eternal law”; burnt-offerings for 7 days; 8th day a sacred assembly)

5) Numbers 28-29 (P): Yahweh’s Sacrifices

1. The tamid (twice daily “continual” burnt-offering of one-year old lambs, in the morning and in the evening)
2. Sabbath Day (burnt-offering of 2 lambs w/accompanying grain-offering + the tamid)
3. New Moon, 1st of the month (burnt-offering of 2 bulls, 1 ram, 7 lambs w/accompanying grain-offering + sin-offering of 1 goat + the tamid)
4. Passover & Unleavened Bread (14th & 15th of Abib; Unleavened Bread a pilgrimage festival for 7 days, each day a burnt-offering of 2 bulls, 1 ram, 7 lambs w/accompanying grain-offering + sin-offering of 1 goat + the tamid)
5. Day of Firstfruits = Festival of Weeks (pilgrimage festival; burnt-offering of 2 bulls, 1 ram, 7 lambs w/accompanying grain-offering + sin-offering of 1 goat + the tamid)
6. Horn Blast Holy Day (1st day of 7th month; burnt-offering of 1 bull, 1 ram, 7 lambs w/accompanying grain-offering + burnt-offering for New Moon + sin-offering of 1 goat + thetamid)
7. Day of Purgation (10th day of 7th month; burnt-offering of 1 bull, 1 ram, 7 lambs w/accompanying grain-offering + burnt-offering for Atonement (= Lev 16) + sin-offering of 1 goat + the tamid)
8. Festival of Booths (15th day of 7th month; pilgrimage festival; 7 days of burnt-offerings: day 1: 13 bulls, 2 rams, 14 lambs w/accompanying grain-offering + a sin-offering of 1 goat + the tamid; day 2: 12 bulls, 2 rams, 14 lambs; day 3: 11 bulls, 2 rams, 14 lambs, etc.; day 8 declared a sacred assembly: burnt-offering of 1 bull, 1 ram, 7 lambs w/accompanying grain-offering + sin-offering of 1 goat + the tamid)

As is visible from this detailed list of the Pentateuch’s festival calendars, the two Priestly calendars, most likely from the post-exilic era, express a heightened interest in and concern for the cult—as we would expect from this Aaronid priestly guild. Not only are the lunar dates of these festivals precisely articulated, but so too, at least in Numbers, the actual sacrifices to be performed.

The reader can additionally see where there are minor discrepancies and even contradictions between these sources’ calendars. We will look at these in more detail over the next few posts. I think I will proceed by first looking at the variations, discrepancies, and contradictions in the Passover and Unleavened Bread Festival accounts, and from there the accounts of the Festival of Weeks, etc.

http://contradictionsinthebible.com/what-is-the-bible/