Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Restored Church of God Defecting Minister Letter


Please use this form when specifically transferring your loyalty and mind over to the Restored Church of God and the Resident Apostle.  If good enough, if you are well known enough and can prove that you can send this letter to thousands of current COG members now attending the untrue churches, you just might have found yourself a job.
"Dearly Beloved____________________________________________________   "    
                             Please use the appropriate words that will endear you to the
"Greetings to all of our dear friends.  ________________________________________________________________"
Give a long history of where you have been and how you got here. Please take your time and explain your entire connection to WCG including ALL your amazing contact with the Armstrongs.  (Do not mention the Tkaches).  Be careful NOT to say Mr. Armstrong trained you or any such thing. This simply will not wash.
"Over the last few years______________________________________________
Please take lots of time to explain your perception of what has happened compared to the truth. Be dramatic.  Tell the brethren Satan's role in it all but be sure to point out the human instruments used to destroy God's Church.  Hold yourself above the fray of course and share the agony you felt watching it all but never really speaking up of course.
"Finally our eyes were opened.______________________________________________________________
Explain clearly how you opened your eyes. DO NOT take anytime to speculate on how long it took or why now.  You can lose points here if your move is connected to lower numbers and discord in your present Church.  Also, do not reveal they have been paying your retirement for a few years now.  Use appropriate "eyes opened" scriptures.  Be careful to make it sound like your eyes were recently opened. Saying your eyes have been opened for years is a mistake.  Also credit Satan with your not seeing things for such a long time.  If the brethren think you were too comfy staying put and saying nothing...well, just don't fail to credit Satanic eye scales.
"Almost as if Christ himself was leading us, we decided to stop by and take a tour of the Restored Church of God's World Headquarters.___________________________
Ok, here ya go.  Be very enthusiastic about this visit.  Please use the words "amazing, overarching, world's biggest, incredible, true, on track, " etc in your praise for the organization.  Mention the entire staff and team and again use words that make it seem they all get along, love how things are done and spend hours a day trying to be more and more transparent to all concerned.  DO NOT ask how many members there actually are.  DO NOT inquire about specific income figures. When you are told the stats  given be sure to act like that actually was the answer to your question.  DO NOT ask what personal family members, mostly untrained if ordained, make as a salary.
"We were honored to spend many hours personally with Mr. and Mrs. David C Pack._______________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________ very careful here.  Be sure to pour praise on the Resident Apostle.  DO NOT refer to him by a first or shortened name.  This is BIG NO NO!   Honor to whom honor and all that.  How well you learn to do this will directly impact your future income.  More honor=More Income.
"We have come to realize_____________________________________________
Here is your chance to shine and justify yourself. Please show how what you are doing is exactly what GOD, CHRIST, THE EARLY APOSTLES (especially Paul) HWA, Roderick C Meredith and a few leading....oops, no wait!!!!   HWA, David C Pack and a few unnamed yet to come leading Evangelists, would do.  Be sure your actions are easily proof texted in both the Old and New Testaments.  A lead towards the NT is helpful but not necessary.  Call Jesus  "Christ" as it sounds more crisp and authoritative.  BE SURE TO REMIND THE BRETHREN YOU HAVE FOUND THE LONG LOST ONE TRUE CHURCH.  Nothing short of this will get you hired.
"I must caution you about criticism to come both to myself and Mr. David C Pack
Here is your chance to shine again.  Be a martyr glorious. But be careful!  You must be willing to blow off a bit less criticism than The Resident Apostle.  You must not come across as suffering more than he. It is your job to absorb the blows.  You are the armour. You are the buffer between Satan and God's anointed.  Do not take too much credit to yourself to be willing to be thrown under any bus. It is Satan who is criticising you.  NEVER take any input from your former friends and such too seriously.  They are blind and have eyes that do not see as you do and ears that do not hear the piper as you have.
"Brethren just look at these statistics from Mr. David C Pack himself.
Please just read the statistics given to you.  Do not ask about how much the income is or what the actual membership numbers are.  There are reasons these things are not given unto you. Just go with the numbers.  Don't kid about how years ago you had a garage full of Plain Truth Newstand copies that were counted as given out and weren't.  BE SURE you credit David C Pack with originating the Plain Truth Newstand Program, even if ...well, you know.  Do not kid about what "World Leaders" may have said after Mr. Pack left the room.  DO NOT compare what they may have said with what was said of Ron Weinland when he spoke to the brilliant a year or so ago and made a fool out of himself. At this point, real income is none of your business and that number resides only with the Resident Apostle.  DO NOT ask if Mr. David C Pack thinks you might be one of the Two Witnesses he will train.  Give it some time.
"Brethren, time is short.  If you have any questions, I would welcome you in my home, office or even if you wanted, you could come to church after I check with Mr. Pack. _________________________________________________________________
Let it go here.  Be suave and caring. Let them know you love them with all your heart and would move heaven and earth to get them attend, er....ask you anything they want and come visit you.
DO NOT tease them about giving a discount on tithing for the first few months if they will change over right now.  There is never a discount and soon you also will learn to "send it in," because you are now one of God's employees. 
"Please check my new website and ask any questions you might have.  I will post the ones I like and skip the ones that question my decision or want to fill me in on their own experience working for RCG.  I did say my eyes were open but did not say my ears were near as open so don't push me.
In Christ's Service________________________________________________
Be sure to indicate you know you are the service of Christ himself and a reference to the Great God and Father can't hurt either.  Thank them for their concern and love and be sure to repeat that you love them more than they love you and that you are anxious to hear from them.
Depending on who you are, how famous, popular, well know and so on, you will receive a reply either really really fast,  really fast,  fast,  slower than fast, not so fast, slowly or not at all.  DO NOT CALL to inquire about your status.  That will be decided by Christ and the Resident Apostle


Anonymous said...

I would recommend that if said minister has any backbone or shred of pride left, do not apply. And even if you do not have those qualities be prepared to be fired at any time. Remember God backs Pack even if he is wrong.

Anonymous said...

This is so true! I can't believe anyone in their right mind would join up with that deviate!

Anonymous said...

My goodness ... do any of these ministers even realize how all this nonsense comes across? Do they even believe their own words?

Of course, the other side to all of this is that few members probably even read these dopey letters. If they did read, they would have left a long time ago.

Anonymous said...

I wonder if Jesus made so many words rhyme with "Pack", just so we could make fun of him.

It's a treasure trove.