Saturday, May 18, 2013

Gerald Flurry, God's Greatest Living Prophet (after Dave Pack of course) Gives Out Proper Helicopter Etiquette Guidelines

Gerald Flurry, Armstrongisms' greatest Budweiser aficionado, has issued guidelines to the people on "the compound" on how to have proper godly helicopter etiquette.  Lord Six Pack, for some reason, seems to think his campus is worthy of being filmed by a helicopter.

The brethren have to have proper biblical understanding on what they should be doing when the helicopter flies over the compound.

  • No students should be seen in the bushes discovering the missing dimension in sex.  
  • No one should be peering out windows like you normally do when you see a strange car or person on the compound.  
  • Avoid driving your vehicle if at all possible.  There must be no accidents with a car running into a flying helicopter.  
  • Please don't wave, point, or genuflect at the helicopter as you do to me.  
  • Please do not be filmed kneeling at Mr. Armstrong's prayer rock.  We do not want anyone to get the wrong idea on who we worship here.  
  • Please understand that the helicopter is NOT here to pick up the auditorium and fly it to Petra.  That's next month, but not for today.
  • Above All, please pray for this helicopter that it be used to glorify the god we worship.  Yes, it is proper to pray for the safety of the pagan, worldly, unconverted men who will fly this helicopter.  We do not want Satan to be able to use it for unclean purposes.  Please ask god to keep their minds pure when flying.

Mr. Gerald Flurry has approved a helicopter video/photo shoot of the campus scheduled for next Tuesday evening at 6 p.m. (May 21), weather permitting.

Over the course of 90 minutes or so, the chopper will land on the lawn in front of the auditorium and will make several passes over the campus from different angles.

To ensure the best results of our footage (for the Key of David, etc.) we ask your cooperation as follows:

  • ·         Remain indoors during the flyover
  • ·         If you must be outdoors, please act normally and do not attract attention to  yourself – avoid looking up or waving/pointing, gathering in groups
  • ·         Avoid looking out the windows so we don’t have faces peering from within the buildings/homes
  • ·         Stay away from Armstrong Auditorium and the Hall of Administration (or remain indoors)
  • ·         Avoid driving vehicles through campus during the flyover
  • ·         In case of emergency, please dial 1002 from any campus telephone to call security

Our neighbors have been notified, as well as the local authorities.

You can help us by praying for God’s protection and safety for the crew, perfect weather conditions and a technically easy shoot.

Thank you in advance for your cooperation!


Anonymous said...

Christians, even Herbert Armstrong, believe that it is the Christian who becomes the temple of the Holy Spirit. The Old Testament temples merely pre-figure the reality of the Spirit-led Christian.

Why, then, does Flurry want the ACTUAL temples of the Holy Spirit to hide indoors for 90 minutes, while his cameras take pictures of PCG buildings?

Is it that PCG members aren't in fact temples of the Holy Spirit?

Or is it that Flurry wants to hide those temples' lights under the proverbial bushel, so they won't distract the helicopter from its mission of taking pictures of the "temples" Flurry truly values, the bricks and mortar of the PCG buildings?

Douglas Becker said...

It would be a good time to have a massive earthquake and have the earth swallow up the entire campus.

At least it would give Flurry quite a lot of media coverage.

To bad we don't have video coverage of Flurry's DUI.

Anonymous said...

Dave Pack's regenerated army of zombies are but a sideshow, Gerald Flurry and the PCG are the main event.

Anonymous said...

when Dave has a photo flyover, he will photoshop tens of thousands into the campus below....dd

Corky said...

Well, that's what the place will look like after it's abandoned and up for sale to the lowest bidder.

It would be a good place for a small city college and radio station...

Joe Moeller said...


Laying out good hard earned tithe money so that Flurry can have some glorious "helicopter" camera shots of his stinking hell hole in Edmond Oklahoma for "Feast Videos" and other media propaganda uses.

Rental rate for a cheap helicopter is about $500 an hour up here in Wyoming for ranchers.

Nope, dont want any typical PCG people to show up in those camera shots. Only "Pretty People" are allowed to be seen in camera shots, especially FOT films, and his Trumpet Magazine rag.

When people go to any COG church, it is always a shock on how much more humble, plain , fat and older they are compared to their own magazines, films etc portraying camera shots of people. . Dishonesty in advertising! LOL!

Joe Moeller
Cody, WY

Joe Moeller said...


How many buildings , college campuses, water fountains, television programs, magazines, jets, helicopters, and toll free numbers did the early New Testament church have?

Second Question:

Which produced more converts, had more impact and actually changed the world, early New Testament techniques, or the modern asset driven technique?

Inquiring minds need to know!

Joe Moeller
Cody, WY

Byker Bob said...

Nothing new or shocking about this. In so many situations Armstrongism placed image before substance, leading to ministers having to constantly ponder and sermonize to correct for the natural doubting or mistrust of the members as to whether this was also done in the "important" areas of the theology. What did Jesus call image building in His day??
Whitened sepulchres?

If Flurry wanted to have an honest presentation, as opposed to taking the movie set approach, he should have simply announced that the helicopter would be present, purely so that his students, faculty, and workers would not be alarmed. And then, as ol' Buck Owens used to sing, "act naturrrllllleeee"


Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
"Dave Pack's regenerated army of zombies are but a sideshow, Gerald Flurry and the PCG are the main event."

Gerald Flurry's PCG has now declined to about 5,000 people, while David Pack's RCG has supposedly increased to "a few thousand" people.

The PCG has turned out to be a satanic freak show. Time will tell what becomes of the RCG.

Douglas Becker said...

Well, if Flurry really wants to attract attention, he could build a Philadelphia Bar and Grill on site and have a world renowned micro brewery, know for it's full flavored ales. It should have a full bar with hard liquor too.

It could be known too for its great steaks.

Be sure to have a swank dance floor.

Pretty sure Chef Ramsey could help you make certain you have all the right stuff to turn a profit.

And considering where it is located, maybe it would have to have a Western motif. Be sure to have a live band of the Young Ambassadors singing and playing the appropriate music.

A modern church that promotes drinking and good food would attract a lot of converts (it might be kind of a revolving door, once people join and find out what it's all about, but hey, if you can keep up the turnover, you'll just make a huge prophet (oops!) huge profit on this thing!

Douglas Becker said...

David Pack needs a new booklet, "The Good News about Drinking Alcohol" to compete with Flurry's Philadelphia Bar and Grill.

Both can have the good news about alcohol right on the opening page of their websites: There are a lot of alcoholics out there who are just waiting for a Feast of Booze!

Bumper Stickers (with the appropriate ACoG Corporate Logo):

"Boozers for the Kingdom of God!"

Anonymous said...

RCG's new granite corporate sign is fresh out of the headstone factory; the R.I.P. top portion will be added at a later date.

Anonymous said...

Ready for Takeoff: