Exposing the underbelly of Armstrongism in all of its wacky glory! Nothing you read here is made up. What you read here is the up to date face of Herbert W Armstrong's legacy. It's the gritty and dirty behind the scenes look at Armstrongism as you have never seen it before!
With all the new crazy self-appointed Chief Overseers, Apostles, Prophets, Pharisees, legalists, and outright liars leading various Churches of God today, it is important to hold these agents of deception accountable.
Herbert Armstrong's Tangled Web of Corrupt Leaders
Video should be retitled, "Jelly Visits Inbred Children of the Corn Who Live in a Ramshackle Shack Because They Sent Their Money to The UCG"
BTW, when is Jelly gonna visit some of the COGaWA members who live in the same town as he does but who no one else in the UCG will talk to? (That video could be called, "Building Bridges Made Of Jelly")
I'd like to see a video, "Jelly visits UCG Headquarters and Goes 'Jesus on their Ass' and Smashes Their Large Portrait of Herbie"!
How about, "Jelly Interviews UCG Ministers Who Went To Court To Defended a Stalker"?
How about, "Jelly Secretly Plots To Create His Own Splinter Ministry And Steal Members, While Collecting A UCG Paycheck and Throwing UCG Members Under The Bus"?
Big Beak could play the Banjo. Big Beak could do the guitar dance on one leg. Big Beak was an Ambassador College Special Student. Big Beak hit the Red Button and caused the AC studio to explode. Big Beak crashed a hot air balloon into an Animal Park. And Finally, Big Beak had a more awesome name. ;)
Sometimes marketing techniques open doors, and sometimes they are incapable of breaking down massive negativity surrounding systems of concepts. Rabid anti-gunners are often appalled by the Eddie Eagle series of children's firearm education put out by the NRA. I place Mr. Jelly in that same general category.
I give HWA credit for one thing. He knew that his religious package was so naturally repulsive that the only way to get people to sign on was to scare them so badly that they believed they had no choice. There was nothing anyone could do to gild it or make it attractive in any way. When he got finished with them, people were beating their children, shunning their own families, damaging their health, giving up accredited educations, sacrificing careers, and lining up to donate substantial percentages of their income so that others would also be entrapped!
I'm waiting for Jelly's gay sex tapes to go viral, "Jelly Goes Down on Peanut Butter," And "Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich." How much Jelly can you fit in your sandwich?
Later we could check in with a reality show style installment that chronicles Jelly's attempt to come out of the closet, and be introduced to his parents, KY and Petroleum (and won't today's lesson about courage come in handy?) In part 2 we could get some backstory on his partner, Peanut Butter, and meet his moms, Cocoa and Shea, as well as his other androgynous adopted sibling, Finger.
As soon as the FOT is over, it's time to make your WFW reservations, and Jelly could post a video with some much needed pointers to UCG youth on the do's and don'ts of hooking up during WFW, safe sex, and how to do the perilous Walk of Shame afterwards without getting your fuzzy purple ass busted!
I didn't have a problem with Jelly in this particular video. My issue would be with the way the subject of "Courage and Faith" was presented by a bunch of goofy looking people.
I live in the South and very few people here look or act like that. We are always pictured as a bunch of loser, in-breds with bad teeth, out-dated clothes, bad haircuts, etc.
Ya'll come down here and see we just ain't like that!
12 comments:
Yecccccccccchhhhhhhhhh!
Jelly is cool, certainly much more acceptable and fun than a Pack or Flurry, but he is a bit "androgenetic" or "pubescent" in a slightly odd way.
It was cool seeing my wife's family though featured at 1:35 into the video.
Jelly isnt worse than any other mascots you see at baseball games, and perhaps even better. Got to appreciate the kinder gentler approach here.
Joe Moeller
Cody, WY
PS- Anybody who as at Steamboat, CO for the FOT who is a reader here, be sure to look my family and me up and say hi!
Video should be retitled, "Jelly Visits Inbred Children of the Corn Who Live in a Ramshackle Shack Because They Sent Their Money to The UCG"
BTW, when is Jelly gonna visit some of the COGaWA members who live in the same town as he does but who no one else in the UCG will talk to? (That video could be called, "Building Bridges Made Of Jelly")
I'd like to see a video, "Jelly visits UCG Headquarters and Goes 'Jesus on their Ass' and Smashes Their Large Portrait of Herbie"!
How about, "Jelly Interviews UCG Ministers Who Went To Court To Defended a Stalker"?
How about, "Jelly Secretly Plots To Create His Own Splinter Ministry And Steal Members, While Collecting A UCG Paycheck and Throwing UCG Members Under The Bus"?
Jelly is cool, certainly much more acceptable and fun than a Pack or Flurry, but he is a bit "androgenetic" or "pubescent" in a slightly odd way.
Jelly is genderqueer. UCG seems to be hip to that sort of thing, way more than the other ACOGs.
Even so, when I see the unacknowledged genderqueer Jelly, I can't help but think of Geraldine Flurry.
Oh come on. You are a Grinch.
Its a cute puppet show.
Go after the real stuff, real problems but a kid's show?
Come on
Big beak was cooler. Why?
Big Beak could play the Banjo.
Big Beak could do the guitar dance on one leg.
Big Beak was an Ambassador College Special Student.
Big Beak hit the Red Button and caused the AC studio to explode.
Big Beak crashed a hot air balloon into an Animal Park.
And Finally,
Big Beak had a more awesome name. ;)
Sometimes marketing techniques open doors, and sometimes they are incapable of breaking down massive negativity surrounding systems of concepts. Rabid anti-gunners are often appalled by the Eddie Eagle series of children's firearm education put out by the NRA. I place Mr. Jelly in that same general category.
I give HWA credit for one thing. He knew that his religious package was so naturally repulsive that the only way to get people to sign on was to scare them so badly that they believed they had no choice. There was nothing anyone could do to gild it or make it attractive in any way. When he got finished with them, people were beating their children, shunning their own families, damaging their health, giving up accredited educations, sacrificing careers, and lining up to donate substantial percentages of their income so that others would also be entrapped!
BB
Hillbilly Harrell over at PKG would probably get a kick out of that video, but nothing beats the Junior Christian Science Bible Lesson...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLa0ewGdWm4
There's soo much room here for parody.
I'm waiting for Jelly's gay sex tapes to go viral, "Jelly Goes Down on Peanut Butter," And "Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich." How much Jelly can you fit in your sandwich?
Later we could check in with a reality show style installment that chronicles Jelly's attempt to come out of the closet, and be introduced to his parents, KY and Petroleum (and won't today's lesson about courage come in handy?) In part 2 we could get some backstory on his partner, Peanut Butter, and meet his moms, Cocoa and Shea, as well as his other androgynous adopted sibling, Finger.
As soon as the FOT is over, it's time to make your WFW reservations, and Jelly could post a video with some much needed pointers to UCG youth on the do's and don'ts of hooking up during WFW, safe sex, and how to do the perilous Walk of Shame afterwards without getting your fuzzy purple ass busted!
Listen to Jelly, kids, and always play safe!
I didn't have a problem with Jelly in this particular video. My issue would be with the way the subject of "Courage and Faith" was presented by a bunch of goofy looking people.
I live in the South and very few people here look or act like that. We are always pictured as a bunch of loser, in-breds with bad teeth, out-dated clothes, bad haircuts, etc.
Ya'll come down here and see we just ain't like that!
I was waiting for chuckie to jump out from behind a tree and see the stuffing of jelly flying in the air.
Re: Creeping Jelly
Those must be professional actors they hired to do that video. Most UCG people are nowhere near that classy and professional.
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