I regret
"Coming into the Truth"
Every now and then, usually in the middle of the night, I wish I had never heard of Herbert W. Armstrong, Garner Ted , the Worldwide Church of God and the Wonderful World Tomorrow
We're taught to try to live life without regret. But why? Using her own tattoo as an example, Kathryn Schulz makes a powerful and moving case for embracing our regrets.
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5 comments:
It is true that sometimes the very aspects of our minds and personalities which we consider to be weaknesses, if treated in “beautiful mind” fashion, can be overcome and in some cases become strengths.
However for lack of a better term, the “mind-fuck” which we received at the hands of Armstrongism was so severe, and so pervasive, that the dead spots and tics must be worked around for a lifetime.
The PTSD which originated as a result of being raised in Armstrongism by parental units who vigorously strove to be “Philadelphians” in all things, does not go away. It often becomes worse through life and must be fought with and worked around. The inner empath which was killed off by the church’s approach to all outsiders and the “God-view” taught by the church does not come back. The emotion or passion behind it is gone. Fortunately, empathetic behavior can be learned and imitated from the standpoint of logic, and one can behave appropriately in empathetic ways, to the benefit of others.
The paranoia caused by the church’s concept of a God with conditional love, a harsh judge who is just waiting for an opportunity to swoop down and punish, reinforced by church parents who practiced that kind of love in the home, never goes away. Fortunately, it can be fought, overcome with logic, and managed. Mild paranoia can be a strength, an asset which causes us to be prepared for any eventuality.
Obsessive-compulsiveness learned by such things as spending two hours grocery shopping because you read every ingredient on the food labels soas to avoid unclean meats and their derivatives, as well as white flour, white sugar, and preservatives can be channeled into attention to detail which helps one to do a better job, to be a better employee or business owner.
Being forced to do more with fewer financial resources due to the extreme and unBiblical financial demands if the mothership and its splinter cults (a co-dependency not unlike being married to a gambling addict, practicing alcoholic, or shop-a-holic) can give you a permanent appreciation for the value of money.
Being forced to think in binary (black or white) terms, can instill a deep appreciation for something very profound in your life which is missing. When you leave Armstrongism, and get your prism, hopefully you receive the ability to see and appreciate all of the shades of color in the spectrum of light. Poles are ubiquitous in nature and in all aspects of life. Safety and basic reasonableness reside in the narrow band in the middle.
The old cliche to the effect that “I wouldn’t be the person whom I am today if this or that had not happened to me.” only works if you are either truly satisfied with who and what you are today, or still need to employ a philosophical device to deal with the past, and to face each new day with a carpe diem mentality.
Me, I’m a bit restless. There will always be certain areas where “I can’t get no satisfaction”. I’m always looking for ways to fine-tune and make things better. There are some limitations which we’d all be much better off had they never been imposed. We can compensate, but we should always remember their origin, and hold the perps accountable.
BB
You wonder if some of the leaders of the COG's have any regrets about how they have abused members in the past or present. Just maybe if they do have regrets they would change their ways and stop this abuse.
I get it, BB. It's harder when you're brought up in the madness. At least, I got out while my own children were still rather young, but they suffer some after effects anyway. I wasn't brought up in the cult, so maybe it's been a little easier to cast it off. Things got really easier when I realized there was no god I had to fear, and if there is some kind of existence after death, which I seriously doubt, I no longer am in fear of it.
I grew up in fear & tho I've learned not to fear God much a part of this sga always will. I'm 40 & this has been a hard year, I saw things 20 yrs ago did not act & bcuz I had fibromyalgia when I was 16 I have no social skills but I do have such a hyper empathy that I can feel others feeling which along with my nearly gone hips & spine (do not use ppi antacids if u can help it & if u cannot take the vitamins that they strip) I avoid groups plus being centrally blind makes me jumpier than a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs lol
BTW I scored a 21 on my general anxiety disorder test Thurs b4 last which is as bad a score as u can get, could be the acog's but "may" have something 2 do with the Okc bombing or the ef 3 tornado I had 2 ride out in a trailer house laying in my bed may 6th 2015 shrug ��
@5:21 PM, are there any reports of Joe Tkach Sr. or Rod Meredith asking for forgiveness in the waning days of their lives? No! These men went to their deathbeds as unrepentant abusers of the brethren. I wish the Scarborough trial depositions could be placed online so every LCG member could read them and find out for themselves what kind of man they idolized.
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