"I function as its human leader (and am an ordained prophet; the only known such prophet in any legitimate Church of God group)."
Prophet Robert Thiel
"I" is a non-stop storyteller, spinning tales
of the past, the present and the future -
constantly editing, interpreting
and directing this inner movie.
- Josh Baran
of the past, the present and the future -
constantly editing, interpreting
and directing this inner movie.
- Josh Baran
12 comments:
What does it take to form a legitimate church of God group?
A tax id?
What does it take to be an ordained prophet? Being anointed for illness?
I have been anointed several times - the ministry obviously wanted me to not only get better but be a prophet as well, maybe even an apostle.
I am calling my group, "The Truthier Church of God" because we have the best truth of all the other pretenders.
To avoid confusion, we will publish our own version of the Bible with only those scriptures we accept as full truthiness. (It will be a much, much smaller version of the Bible.)
The "I's" don't have it.
Self-absorbed? Absolutely.
Narcissist? Definately.
Prophet? Certainly not.
I can't get over how these self-appointed wanna-be "ministers" continually try to do everything they possibly can to convince others of their "special calling". The more they focus on themselves the more they invalidate themselves. It's beyond laughable. It's genuinely ridiculous.
"I am a prophet,
I am a capital P,
I am a prophet,
with personality
I am a great big bundle of
predictability...."
"I am a pastor
I run the one true church
I am a pastor
I'm really not berzerk
I am the overseer of
The Church Community"
"I am a prophet
I know the secrets of old
I am a prophet
As all the books foretold
I am the greatest gift to all
of humanity"
(TO the tune of "I am a Promise"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwHcb-b6Yuw
What does it take to be an ordained prophet?
The process is start a COG as a lay member, ordain someone as a pastor/evangelist/whatever, and then he ordains you as whatever you want to be. At least that is Bob's story in a nutshell, as I remember it.
In the COG all it takes is for some narcissist to stand up and tell a lie and a few dumb sheep will follow you and give you their money.
Hey! Isaiah! You say you feel fatigue, and have a little cold ccoming on? You probably have never heard of this before, but I am what is called a Preaching Elder. I'll annoint you for your cold, and somehow when I finish praying for you, without my intending to do such, you will be a prophet! In a couple months, some people from Africa will re-ordain you just to confirm it all!
Right! That's the way it really happened in the Bible! Keep dreaming, Bobby-boy!
BB
"I function as its human leader (and am an ordained prophet; the only known such prophet in any legitimate Church of God group)."--Prophet Robert Thiel
Typos, typos everywhere.
Try this corrected version:
“I malfunction as its human leader (and am an ordinary false prophet; one of many known such false prophets in the many illegitimate Church of Fraud groups).”--False Prophet Robert Thiel
Ya know, I woke up early this morning wondering where the sun was, until I dawned on me. I was never ordained a "Pastor"! Oh yes, I admit, Elder at 23, Preaching Elder at 24...but the last step was never taken! If you don't take the last step, nothing counts! I never graduated! Those 14 congregations over 5 states and 26 years were not my fault! The Deity never officially put me in charge. I never "Pastored" one single church or person! Oh the burden lifted! Oh the joy! Free at last, free at last, thank not being a "Pastor" ever, I'm free at last!
Sorry, couple of days off. Makes me a bit dingy :) Social Security starts this month and thank myself for at least 20 years of my own work where I paid into it myself. Grateful I'm not stuck in a splinter because there is nothing else to do and no where else to go, whether I believe in the trueness of the splinter chosen, or not, in the twilight years! :)
Having to start my practice all over again having moved from Oregon to SC but the reviews are great at the clinic. Live, Laugh, Love and HURRY!
PS I'm pretty sure now, some discerning soul concluded in the 70's that I had too much potential to transform into a "Minion of Satan", "The High Priest of Marduk" (No really, someone called me that), "The Forrest Gump of the WCG", (However, Forrest had an excellent personality :) and one who would find out the hard way "when you go into the Lake of Fire".
I did not grow up in WCG which was a strike against me. Came from Satan's Presbyterian Church, Dutch Reformed no less and spent a little too much time enjoying "Science, falsely so called."
I believe, however, I did hear the phrase "double portion of the spirit" when anointed for flu, which indeed did clear up in about 10 days, so that's impressive or maybe even when ordained a younger elder. So I could use that if I had to but I don't choose to.
Personally, I'd probably use the power of the Double Portion of the Spirit to be a better Forrest Gump Supreme uniting all the splinters and "sending it back" instead of "in". :)
" (and am an ordained prophet; ...)
that kills his credibility....
he's really a very nice guy, at least in my communication with him.
"Possible not true?" It is a fact it is not true. Bob is a liar and a charlatan.
2:54
Dennis I coined "Forrest Gump of WCG" after your comments that indicated that you knew many of the "big shots" but indicated distance or not being part of some doctrines. (like not swimming on Friday nights). As Forrest was privy to all but part of nothing.
You know I love you. I would have loved to have you here as I've been roaming the path of St Augustine and Graves of deacons for the past few weeks in churches 2nd century ad.
Nck
Bobby Thiel, speaking of SELF, the one upon whom he thinks the entire Universe revolves around, said: "
"I function as its human leader (and am an ordained prophet; the only known such prophet in any legitimate Church of God group)."
Well, a real prophet of God once upon a time said this:
1 Kings 18:22
"...I, even I only, remain a prophet of the LORD; but Baal's prophets are four hundred and fifty men."
Bob Thiel is just another modern-day prophet of Baal. How do we know?
Time will tell...
John
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