Wednesday, December 21, 2022

RCG: Friendship and Shunning

 



Godly Friendship?
By Elizabeth O’Leary-Noble

Being shunned after leaving The Restored Church of God has caused me to reflect a lot on the past six years of my life. I have had to face some really hard truths. One of them is about Godly Friendship. It’s been an eye-opening and difficult pill to swallow.

Upon entering RCG in 2017, after my father died, people I didn’t even know told me they loved me and would always be there for me. I took that to heart and thought, “Wow, how incredible and admirable it is to have complete strangers telling me they loved me when I hadn’t known any of them.” If that wasn’t the epitome of "love your neighbor as yourself," then I don’t know what is.

They taught me a great deal about unconditional love. Especially during my delicate state when I came into RCG. Anyone can understand that when you lose a close loved one, it’s traumatizing. The memories of WHO was there for you when it mattered are seared into your memory. You need support, comfort, advice, encouragement, counsel, smiles, and warm tight hugs. I received all of that, and it was wonderful.

As the weeks and months rolled by, I grew very close with many brethren, even from different states and countries though I had never physically met some of them. I had a sister-in-Christ send me a beautiful dress for my second Feast of Tabernacles. I never met her, but we talked often. Naturally, a comfortable bond was formed and cemented.

I shared the ups and downs of life with many brethren. We opened up about our secrets, pain, shame, and mutual dreams for the future. I hold that dear to my heart and will never speak a word of what was told to me in confidence. That’s what a true friend does. That is what a person who respects godly friendship does. They keep their word and are loyal, trusting, loving, and stand by you through good and bad. At least, that’s what I thought.

Since being shunned, cut off, and seen as a leper, I’ve forced myself to accept this behavior and move forward as gracefully as I can.

Some people come into your life for various reasons for a season. Some are for a few weeks or a few years, but some are temporary, while others are for a LIFETIME. They all teach you very valuable lessons, but sadly, not all of those lessons are Skittles and rainbows.

I decided to dig into God’s word for comfort and to "prove ALL things." Jesus Christ called all of His disciples “friends.” Even Judas, who betrayed Him.

John 15:15
Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knows not what his lord does: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of My Father I have made known unto you.

The apostle John referred to all brethren as friends.

3 John 14
I trust I shall shortly see you, and we shall speak face to face. Peace be to you. Our friends salute you. Greet the friends by name.

The friends we have in the Church and in the world shape who we become.

Proverbs 27:17
Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.

Christ spoke about the effort required to maintain close friendships.

John 13:34-35
A new commandment I give unto you, That you LOVE ONE ANOTHER; as I HAVE LOVED YOU, that you also love one another. By THIS shall all men know that you are My disciples, if you have love one to another.

This love is exemplified by the time we give to each other, as Jesus stated: “Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends" (John15:13). The Bible refers to this deep level of relationship as, “a friend that sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24).

 

It’s sad knowing the truth of how The Restored Church of God operates and what the ministry is teaching brethren. The policy of shunning is fraudulently preached but has become a great lesson moving forward. I believe it will be a fabulous lesson for the current members and anyone reading this who doesn’t know RCG.

Let’s start with FACTS. The ministry actively indoctrinates members to stop all communication with ex-members. A cold stop. No texting, calling, emailing, and certainly no gatherings or face-to-face with them. It is as if you never existed, but all the while telling them, "But pray for them to repent."

In my case, there is nothing to repent of because I spoke the TRUTH using scriptures and quotes found in David Pack’s own book, “Is ‘That Prophet’ Alive Today?—The Rise of False Prophets.”

The ministry falsely twists Romans 16:17-18 to fit their agenda and tell brethren to "mark those" that leave RCG. As if leaving a man-made church building is remotely tied to eternal salvation. “Oh, it is here in this church!” The deception runs deep. Anyone adhering to God’s command to "prove all things" understands that these verses are in the context of Paul instructing brethren to beware of false teachers. His warning was against false doctrine, NOT brethren.

I understand that in certain instances, there are members who absolutely speak heresy and cause intentional division, sowing discord. This isn’t what I’m talking about. I’m specifically addressing twisting, adding, and subtracting from God’s holy word. The RCG ministers use their own personal interpretation, which God forbids us to do.

Now, take that indoctrination and add in glossy-eyed, infatuated, hardcore idolizing Pack worshippers with little ole me raising my hand to speak up. Do you think I have a chance? Does anyone? Nope. Nobody does.

Unless you are AWAKE. A Berean. A person who studies God’s word and does God’s commands to prove all things. Until then, you will NOT see the deception because you are asleep.

 

God absolutely encompasses LOVE and is merciful, forgiving, and mighty. I am grateful I serve a God so magnificent, omnipotent, and glorious. 

RCG set a new precedent this past Feast of Tabernacles by telling family ex-members to leave RCG events. On Family Day of all days! Ask yourself, If God were standing right there, would He approve of that? Is that loving? Is that letting your light shine? Is that something brethren should IGNORE?

What’s next? Divorce your spouse because you have differing beliefs? They already teach you should kick your teenage children out of the house if they no longer want to attend. What’s next? Disown them?

Where does it draw the line for YOU? When is something not godly? I’m sure more brethren will love that policy for future Feasts. That is IF RCG is still standing. That’s entirely up for the brethren to decide...

 

This verse best describes the current condition inside The Restored Church of God.

Matthew 24:12
And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold.

David Pack proudly stands behind the lectern roaring about evil, wicked, devilish, murderous ex-members who will burn in the Lake of Fire because they left RCG. Those same people left for rejecting HIS false teachings.

But he wants to replace God. He is Elijah and That Prophet. He wants to create his own kingdom. Common has built the Headquarters Campus already. He is insulated from the world and insulated from the brethren who don’t even get to share a meal on the Sabbath with him. Only “the elites” are allowed to do that.

He wants to create mindless, robotic minions who agree with all his teachings no matter how often he changes them. Sadly, he has already done this.

The ministry is conditioning brethren to harden their hearts towards ex-members. And some are obeying this.

 

Imagine sitting in Sabbath services knowing you are hearing false doctrines. Brethren tell you they love you, but you realize that if you ever leave, they will cut you off and call you names or say that the devil got a hold of you.

That’s what happens in RCG.

Some leave knowing what is coming because they have to. The Bible says so. It still hurts when it happens. The people you think are your friends who turn their backs on you are shocking. The same people who said they loved me and would always be there for me abandoned me. That love was not so unconditional after all.

I feel like I never really mattered to them. I feel used, abused, and tossed aside.

But, I am HAPPY to be a voice for all brethren who are not able to speak up for themselves. I have no hate in my heart for anyone. I thank God for my parents instilling that in me. I thank God for speaking to me in that small voice to endure and LOVE.

Luke 10:25-27
And, behold, a certain lawyer stood up, and tempted him, saying, Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life? He said unto him, What is written in the law? how readest thou? And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.

RCG is no longer where God’s truth is taught. David Pack is not what he claims to be. Please do not let fear overcome you. Let love abound. Believe what the Bible says you must do.

To those who have turned away from me, I am eager to be your friend again. You may have left me, but I have not left you.

I will always choose love. No matter what.

------------------


Marc Cebrian

See: Godly Friendship


28 comments:

Anonymous said...

I grew up in the HWA era classic WCG, and hung around for a number of years because I was convinced that the church was right about the main doctrines, and that the end would come just as HWA taught with the Germans landing in 1972, and Jesus returning in 1975. To me, that teaching and belief was so key that it was a matter of "one strike, you're out!" I was not going to allow HWA the pass or privilege of getting the singular tool he had used to induce me to modify my entire life wrong! If he was wrong about that, it was the proof of the pudding, and I was gone.

People accept many things in the guise of "love". What I observed in many brethren and the ministry during my years was an intrusiveness and violation of personal space. They seemed to want to really get into my stuff if I allowed it, so I was very careful about who I actually let in. We all have our "types" of people towards whom we normally gravitate, and I retained this, never going universal. If I wouldn't have liked you on the outside, I simply didn't let you in. Therefore, the friendship aspect of leaving didn't bother me at all. I'm certain that people interpreted this as never having been converted, but honestly, worrying about conversion status in a toxic cult seems ludicrous all these years having passed.

I have come to realize is that if the only factor that made it possible for a "true" friendship was membership in a church, that was very shallow criteria. I've had more and deeper friendships in the intervening years. Treating people well has become something I do for everyone, not just for people who pay tithes to the same place, and I generally watch out for everybody's best interest, except for the very few who are hostile and make it impossible to do so.

Miller Jones/Lonnie C Hendrix said...

Romans 8:

33 Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. 34 Who then will condemn us? NO ONE—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us.

38 And I am convinced that NOTHING can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Nothing and no one mean exactly that - NOTHING and NO ONE! Our relationship with God is immune to human interference of any kind.

That other passage from the book of Romans is specifically addressing folk like David Pack and his ministers! They are the very ones who are causing divisions and teaching things which are contrary to what the Scriptures teach!

Romans 16:

17 And now I make one more appeal, my dear brothers and sisters. Watch out for people who cause divisions and upset people’s faith by teaching things contrary to what you have been taught. Stay away from them. 18 Such people are not serving Christ our Lord; they are serving their own personal interests. By smooth talk and glowing words they deceive innocent people.

Anonymous said...

Interesting comment, 6:39. Similar to my experience, but I stuck around for decades. At AC in 1968 we were somberly told we would be the first class NOT to graduate, because of 1972. As a teen in the 60's I dreamed I went to the mailbox and found a letter from the church telling us it was time to flee, (we didn't have a phone at that time), and the deadline had always passed. I my dream, my family was resigned to enduring the tribulation.

I believed and followed for years, accepting what we were told, until I didn't! I have found it most profitable to read the scriptures in context for what they say ---- even parts I don't yet understand, than reading what someone T0LD me to believe about what is written. Within the WCG and splinters there has been a lot of twisting, ignoring, and focusing on things that are not essential. Not all was bad at all ..... learned a lot, especially about the OT and Moses. I didn't read things from 'outsiders' so as not to be deceived, just as we were instructed. Improper focus in WCG is what brought the downfall of that organization, because it was not built on the "Rock".

Anonymous said...

“I understand that in certain instances, there are members who absolutely speak heresy and cause intentional division, sowing discord.” -- EO'L-N

Yes, that is precisely the problem with Dave Pack and why he needs to me MARKED and SHUNNED like the plague that he is.

Tonto said...

It is a sad reality, but "OUT OF SIGHT OUT OF MIND"is the rule.

After many decades, I have seen this to be in every arena, whether it be guys you knew in High School, or played on ball teams with, old workmates at companies, and with the "brethren" or ministers too of any kind of church.

People drop that LOVE WORD very easily, and it sounds nice in the moment. It is not really true in nearly all cases, but a sort of manipulation. It is important to realize that 99.9% of the time, what you have at best are acquaintances. Nothing wrong with that, but realize you can get a whole bunch of new acquaintances fairly quick.

There are all manners of different churches, clubs, bowling leagues, hiking clubs, civic organizations, charitable groups, political clubs and so forth. Just show up and you will have a whole new cadre of shallow acquaintances in no time. Always remember, we stand before God alone, and any "membership cards" or names we can drop, will mean nothing.

Anonymous said...

When I left church in '95, much had to do with people who I had attended with acted like they had no idea who I was after having moved out of the area for a couple of years then moving back, doctrine changes sealed it. I understand the pain of not being reached out to by people you thought were friends, I reached out to people who I thought were friends just in the last couple of years who also no longer attend and there is no reciprocation from them. When one spouse joins RCG and the other one doesn't, the pulling away and the realization that your longtime spouse no longer shows love and affection is extremely painful and heartbreaking. I told my spouse that I was starving emotionally and all I got was a cold stare and he walked away. It was justified in the name of God. I'm sure that there are many others who have experienced the same thing, I'm still trying to recover but it's going to be a long time.

Anonymous said...

This makes so much sense. I am taking your experience and wisdom and applying it going forward. Thank you!

Anonymous said...

Instead of “RCG is no longer where God’s truth is taught.” Let’s make it God’s truth was never taught there. The whole thing was a Pack of lies since the beginning

Anonymous said...

Many other COG groups use the same tactics too. PCG and LCG to varying degrees. Members are pressured to conform to the ministers will and shun the ex members, even when they know personally they have done nothing wrong. This demonstrates the power of group think present in these controlling cults. I have recently come out of LCG and have experienced very similar. Even one of my own family close members preaching from the podium that I am a spiritually unclean leper and a spiritual fornicator.

Anonymous said...

Talk about "thought stopping" techniques!

Anonymous said...

Golden rule: "Do unto others, what you want others to do unto you."
Conclusion: "Shun them who shuns you."

Back at you, bitches and assholes.

Anonymous said...

Correct!

Anonymous said...

According to this, religion in America is on the decline. How much of that is caused by the pastors? With no fresh blood the COGs can't afford to lose people.

https://www.rt.com/news/568700-americans-believe-god-church-decline/

Anonymous said...

The bible says to mark those who cause division. That would be the ministers most of all.

Mark Wolfe said...

The ministry actively indoctrinates members to stop all communication with ex-members. A cold stop. No texting, calling, emailing, and certainly no gatherings or face-to-face with them. It is as if you never existed, but all the while telling them, "But pray for them to repent."

My comment: Any cursory study of God's Word leaves you with the conclusion that God wants the individual to maintain personal sovereignty. Even salvation is personal between you and God. Any church or minister that teaches or encourages individuals to stop communicating with others is absolutely not of God. You are then blindly following a man. This church or minister is teaching you to not think for yourself. They are teaching you to give up your personal sovereignty.

Anonymous said...

Rom 16:17 Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them.

Rom 16:18 For they that are such serve not our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly; and by good words and fair speeches deceive the hearts of the simple.

You all are supposed to mark DCP, He causes divisions and offenses contrary to the doctrines of scripture. He married a divorced woman, just like HWA his idle. He allows dancing like the world. He drinks to his heart content. He steals from the widow. He covets...

Rom 13:9 For this, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Thou shalt not covet; and if there be any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying, namely, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

HE DOES NOT LOVE HIS NEIGHBORS PERIOD! Unless they are paying common and tithes.

A divided house will not stand!

I have been shunned for mentioning SCRIPTURE. People love it so and feel very comfortable.

Anonymous said...

Most of the things you posted are evil things Dave does, but dancing? What the hell? There is nothing wrong with dancing. There is not even condemnation for naked dancing since David danced naked.

Anonymous said...

God's command to "prove all things" assumes:

1. Access to the required information. Censorship runs contrary to this. When I attended services, members were told that reading "dissident literature" was the same as looking at pornography. Which is nonsense. In fact it's the church that put out "porno" such as Herb's "government is everything." This is no different to the Pharisees criticizing Christ for healing on the Sabbath since "Sabbath observance is everything." Hiding that relationships are two way is another example of church spiritual porno. HWAs church was the Spiritual Porno Church of God.

2. Peer review. All reputable scientific organisation have a peer review process whereby members submit their scientific papers, and others members review the assertions.
In everyday life, this takes the form of members discussing ideas with reasonable, non toxic people. Just like the debate in the book of Acts over circumcision.

Since the ACOGs have always usurped these and many other personal responsibilities, Christians need to heed Paul's instruction to "obey God rather than man."

Anonymous said...

David leaped, hoped, and maybe went around with joy. Dancing like the world no. Look up strong's. Uncovered himself is also added...Look up gala. No one studies the word of truth. no one. Be not of the world means what exactly? In it, but not of it? POLLUTED SECTS if I ever saw one, it was the WCG splinters! Shameful to say the least.

The Sundown Kid said...

Glad you done with that weird place but the minute you posted your exit letter and joined up with Marc you put some serious strain on whatever small talk to expect with your pals thats for sure!

I would be so curious to know what percentage of RCGers are in tune with what Marc is writing. The fact it gets vaguely referenced from the pulpit in sermons quite often makes me think this is commonly known and even casually being read by the majority? If you were reading the exRCG site or here and brought that up at services would you be immediately called in?

Just such a mess smh. Anyway dont look back. And definitely dont hold a grudge against these people. Everybody has to sort this out themselves. Friendships are bound far more by shared experience and common cause then how others actually feel about you. I think most everybody can agree that even the closest supposed friends will turn on a dime if they sense youve become adversarial to what initially bound you. Thats can go for worship, work, play, family... you name it.

Unknown said...

"What’s next? Divorce your spouse because you have differing beliefs?"

That's EXACTLY what RCG ministers are told to do! My sister was married to a "so called" minister. I say "so called" because when it came to what the Bible says or ANY spiritual matter involving the brethren - he didn't know his ear from his elbow, since he purchased his ordination when he sold property and gave the money to that greedy charlatan...but I digress...

To the matter of divorcing an unbelieving spouse - he was ABSOLUTELY TOLD TO PUT MY SISTER AWAY because she dared to call the RCG for what it is...a false church and a financial cash cow for Dave Pack!

I sent Pack a letter, challenging him on the matter (I was serving as a minister at the time in another group) and, of course the coward didn't feel the need to respond.

My sister is doing very well now, btw - and well rid of RCG!

Anonymous said...

Correct, but I was so blinded I couldn't see past all the indoctrination UNTIL I started reading scripture again. I was solely trusting those evil ministers.

Anonymous said...

RCG ministry preaches and writes up articles about how bad social media is and we should stay away or use discernment. I agree to an extent, but what they're really doing is "damage control" ... They don't want brethren to see whats truly going on. That would disrupt their money flow.

Anonymous said...

I'm happy you're both out of there! He is a true narcissist and has a God complex. It's very scary seeing brethren follow him and take his words over our Creator.

Anonymous said...

My wish for 2023 is that we finally succeed in canceling all of the ACOGs. I know, people wonder what to do with their tithes. No worries, because tithing is provably not in force in the ways taught by Armstrongism. But, if you're not ready for that, I'd recommend sending them in to BLM as reparations for all of the damages that British Israelism has done to race relations over the past seventy years. If we can at least expunge the quasi-crime of DWB, we'll be back on track with societal evolution as it was progressing prior to 2016.

Truth said...

I'd like to hear who has the best shun story, because I got a doozy.

Fgh said...

Why? Digging for dirt ? Setting up a trap ?

Anonymous said...

Those would be fun, FGH, wouldn't they? But, no. The requestor is probably setting up a little morality play that might assist people out of the victimhood which a codependant relationship with David Pack as ones pastor always produces.