From a reader:
It’s that time of year! People are coming out of the woodwork to tell you that everything you enjoy is pagan.
The Pagan Peril of the Backyard Pool
By Gregory F. Attbaum, Tomorrow’s World Contributor
The Historical Roots of Pool Paganism
To understand the spiritual peril of swimming pools, we must trace their origins to the ancient world. Archaeological evidence reveals that the earliest pools were constructed by pagan civilizations, such as the Minoans, Egyptians, and Romans, who used them not for recreation but for religious ceremonies. The Minoans, for example, built elaborate water basins in their temples, believed to be offerings to sea deities like Poseidon. Similarly, the Roman piscinae—ornate pools in bathhouses—were dedicated to Neptune and Venus, gods of water and sensuality. These pools were often sites of hedonistic rituals, where participants indulged in fleshly pleasures under the guise of “cleansing” or “worship.”
The Bible warns us against adopting the practices of surrounding nations: “Do not learn the ways of the nations” (Jeremiah 10:2, NIV). Yet, the modern swimming pool is a direct echo of these idolatrous practices, repackaged for today’s unsuspecting homeowner. The very act of immersing oneself in a man-made body of water mirrors the ancient rites of baptism to false gods, a clear affront to the one true God who commands us to “flee from idolatry” (1 Corinthians 10:14).
A Symbol of Worldly Excess
Beyond its pagan roots, the swimming pool embodies the materialism and self-indulgence that characterize our fallen world. The apostle Paul admonishes us to “set your minds on things above, not on earthly things” (Colossians 3:2). Yet, what is a swimming pool if not a monument to earthly pleasure? Its construction requires thousands of dollars, countless hours of maintenance, and an obsession with outward appearances—whether it’s the perfect pH balance or the latest pool float shaped like a flamingo. Such vanity distracts from the pursuit of godliness and aligns with the “lust of the flesh” (1 John 2:16).
Moreover, pools foster immodesty, as they encourage scantily clad gatherings that entice both men and women to sin. The backyard pool party, with its focus on sunbathing and socializing, is a modern equivalent of the orgiastic festivals of ancient Babylon. Christians must ask themselves: Can a true follower of Christ justify owning a pool when it so clearly promotes behaviors contrary to biblical standards of purity and humility?
The Environmental Argument: Stewards, Not Squanderers
God entrusted humanity with the care of His creation (Genesis 2:15), yet swimming pools are an ecological disaster. They consume vast amounts of water—a precious resource—in a world where millions lack access to clean drinking water. The chemicals used to maintain pools pollute the environment, harming wildlife and seeping into groundwater. By installing a pool, homeowners not only indulge in pagan-inspired luxury but also violate their God-given responsibility to be stewards of the earth. “The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it” (Psalm 24:1). Dare we squander His resources for our own fleeting pleasure?
A Call to Repentance
The swimming pool may seem like a harmless fixture of modern life, but its pagan origins, promotion of worldliness, and environmental toll reveal its true nature. As believers, we are called to “come out of her, my people, so that you will not share in her sins” (Revelation 18:4). Owning a pool is not a neutral choice; it is a step toward compromise with a world that rejects God’s truth.
We urge our readers to examine their hearts and their backyards. If a pool sits on your property, consider its spiritual implications. Drain it, fill it with earth, and reclaim that space for godly purposes—perhaps a garden to reflect God’s provision or a prayer space for seeking His will. Let us reject the pagan trappings of this age and live as a “royal priesthood, a holy nation” (1 Peter 2:9), untainted by the seductive ripples of the swimming pool.
38 comments:
On its surface, a COG embarrassment no doubt. But, a link to the original source please, I can’t seem to find it through basic searches.
For an angel went down at a certain time into the pool and stirred up the water; then whoever stepped in first, after the stirring of the water, was made well of whatever disease he had. John 5:4 NKJV.
To TW Contributor......You have to be the first to step in.....
My goodness. That humble suburban swim pool will never look the same after reading this. I’m lost for words. Again, my goodness ……………..and the arrogance that some even think to have their little backyard pagan waterhole heated………certainly we are at the end times!
Brillant post exposes how the church pulled many of its beliefs out of thin air and people gullibly believe them. British Israelism and the various myths in the COG that float around is a prime example.
I certainly hope the wonders of AI have reached this blog. If this is a true article, it non sensical nature must have been devised by the writer after a salary cut because his Church is aging......
nck
Pagan is as pagan does! Unless we're talking about blatant idols specifically created for the purpose of worshipping ancient gods, it is not the thing which is pagan, but the way in which the thing is being used. The pagans misused practically everything at one time or another, but there is also the correct and healthy way to use such things.
You could use a swimming pool for family activities, or just plain relaxation. Water sports are good for your health. Yes, some might drink to excess while lounging around the pool, or I suppose if you lived in Hollywood, you could use the pool as a setting for a threesome with some chick your wife brought home. Frankly, if you were a minister, you could perform baptisms in your pool. Clearly, it's the usage of the pool, as there is nothing inherently evil about a swimming pool itself. Just don't pee in it!
This Tomorrow's World article is both assinine and puerile! Somebody probably believes that if you have money for a pool, it should be sent to HQ instead. That's the mentality of the Armstrongite ministry. They pretty much teach asceticism and come up with Hisloppian ways to support it.
BB
What about bath tubs?
Does anyone remember the controversy back in the day, "is swimming allowed on the Sabbath"? The verdict that came down was " yes", if you have your own pool. Of all people, WHO had their own pool? The ministry of course!
What about the bird bath in my back yard? Is that OK?
This may explain why Herbert Armstrong went swimming in Lake Michigan (check the photo in his autobiography). God made that, so it's OK.
How many of these jokers wear wedding rings, they are pagan as well.
Pagan peoples have for millennia "urinated". Does that mean that "Good Christians" should not urinate? Especially urninating in the pool! ?? :-)
The absurdity of this post is just another example where the churches of God (past and present) have never had a clue of this world's true evil character (1 John 5:19) or the depths and devices of the personage and his minions behind it (2 Cor.2:11). Instead of bearing witness of this system's REAL EVIL WORKS (John 7:7), their focus is on the Easter bunny, Halloween, and now, swimming pools.
In Scripture that's called "blind leaders of the blind" (Matt.15:14)!
This article does not exist on the Tomorrow's World site (nor does the booklet offered in the final blurb) and googling the author and title leads me only back to the Banned by HWA site.
The more I've pondered this, the more suspicious I've become. Wasn't April Fools Day two weeks ago?
Feastgoer - You are wise, indeed!
I think LCG should sue for defamation of character based on lies. This is not even a real article. You all are such idiots!!
Banned Church of God Responds to Website Critics: “We’d Clap Back, But They’re Already Losing to Reality”
April 17, 2025 | Sanctified but Not Sorry
Here at the Banned Church of God™, we’re used to opposition. We’ve been banned, exiled, shadowbanned, soft-blocked, hard-blocked, and one time even spiritually muted. But never before have we encountered a website so determined to drag us while simultaneously losing a battle with basic truth and common sense.
Let’s talk about it.
This website, which shall remain nameless (but you know who you are—hi!), is run by a handful of bitter keyboard crusaders who wake up every day and choose delusion over decency. Their main hobbies include twisting scripture into balloon animals, projecting their issues onto everyone else, and crying about “the dangers of Banned Church theology” while offering no actual theology of their own—just vibes, vitriol, and misspelled blog posts.
Their homepage might as well read: “Facts? We don’t know her.”
Every accusation they fling at us is laced with the kind of logic that makes flat-earthers look grounded. We’ve been called a “cult,” a “doomsday operation,” and once, confusingly, “an elite coffee conspiracy.” We wish. The only thing elite around here is our potluck mac and cheese.
The truth? They’re mad. Mad we didn’t invite them. Mad we didn’t collapse after their 17-part exposĂ© (which read like fanfiction with a grudge). Mad we’re still out here baptizing folks, praising the Lord, and refusing to fold just because a website with the emotional maturity of a soggy sock says we’re dangerous.
Let’s be honest—if they spent half as much time praying as they do doom-scrolling our sermons for soundbites to twist, they might actually touch the hem of the truth. But no. They're too busy crafting conspiracy charts with yarn, screenshots, and a deep, deep fear of joy.
We’re not angry. We’re not even surprised. We’ve read the Book. False witnesses? Check. Slander? Been there. Persecution from people who wouldn’t recognize grace if it hugged them? Signed, sealed, and sanctified.
So to the little website that could (but really shouldn’t): We bless you. We hope one day you find peace, purpose, and perhaps a more fulfilling hobby—like birdwatching. Or therapy.
Until then, we’ll be right here. Banned, bold, and blessed.
Amen.
How many church members have been baptized in a swimming pool? Didn't Ambassador Hall in Pasadena have a swimming pool that was used for some baptisms?
This is a fake article. Gregory F. Attbaum is not a contributor to Tomorrow's World (I have never heard his name before) and the booklet does not exist.
LOL! The real idiot here is you for not having the sense to see that this is a parody of how Armstrongism thinks. Most of the crap we were taught was pulled out of someone ass instead of the Bible. Stupid opinions by stupid ministers and evangelists became semi-doctrine in the church.
I sit here reading some of these moments by people who think this is real. Do people no longer have any common sense? Does Banned need to start putting up disclaimers for delicate people so they don't get their little feelings hurt?
Hey! The shit was totally believable! It's actually consistent with the way an Armstrongite church acts, and the research and editorial policies of their magazines. Armstrongism is actually a parody of a real religion in the first place. I mean, how many of us when we heard about Jonestown or Waco immediately gulped and said "Uh oh!" as we worried that our still in the church families might be amongst the dead? And then, as we learned more, we were relieved that it was other church groups.
BB
Banned has a Donald Trump moment of shooting themselves in the foot.
What may have been designed as a 'comic post' for amusement has not come across very well. It is neither comical nor interesting nor even a parody.
But this post shows banned as being highly skilled liars and how skilled they can be in fooling others.
I doubt any such website exists.
"Doom-scrolling our sermons" sermons? Is that not a terrible mistake you've written there......since when does this blog publish sermons?
Mixing your two lives up there.
The post was ridiculous but like Byker Bob said, it was very believable, I could see them saying this.
Also, AI is becoming very believable now. A video on my Facebook page showed Rick Pitino cussing out his players after losing their NCAA tournament basketball game. If there hadn't been an AI signature on it, I would not have known. It's just another way to muddy reality!
Check out "Should Christians Be Eating Lucky Charms?" on my blog
https://godcannotbecontained.blogspot.com/2018/06/where-have-you-been-and-what-have-you.html
We actually had a minister who actually told us we couldn’t eat them because leprechauns were demons in disguise. Idiot!
Given what some COGs have preached through the years, a disclaimer would not hurt.
For the hundredth time, 1:20AM - whats my name, fool? Or were you bearing false witness after all?
Sadly my experience with the Armstrongist COGs has been very much like this ie They assert this is pagan or that is pagan. It never ends! Truth is as the article title bears witness if you look closely at anything then everything is pagan. But as BB noted above “…it is not the thing which is pagan, but the way in which the thing is being used. The pagans misused practically everything at one time or another, but there is also the correct and healthy way to use such things.”
Didn't HWA have several pools built around Ambassador College and have swimming pools on campus? What about motel pools at the feast of Armstrong?
Who's talking to you RSK? Or are you yet another fake name from the few pretending to be many?
How you desperately want to sue for money.
I refer you to my post during Tabernacles 2020 on a stoned Stephen post.
You did. So what's my name, fool?
Wow....I know someone in LCG that owns his own pool cleaning/maintenance business. And it's been very successful and he's been living a very wealthy lifestyle because of it. Does this mean mean all of the tithes and offerings he's given through the years is tainted and pagan?? Is he supposed to sell his business? Or is this one of those situations where special dispensation is given because of how big his tithes and offerings have been?
Yeah. I got baptized in one of them. I think HWA baptized Mr. Rader in a hotel bathtub. The Bible doesn't lay out specifications for the body of water, just the attitude of the person being immersed.
Oh, they'd probably make a special exception for the pool cleaning guy! The privilege of wealth even exists in an ACOG! Members would probably be allowed to have a career in law enforcement or the military if they earned huge salaries and were sending in beaucoup tithes.
You did what?
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