by David Hayward - The Naked Pastor
Rachel Held Evans, author of Monkey Town wrote on her blog the other day about The Epic Fail Pastors Conference and about how many pastors are afraid to tell their congregations what they have learned about the Bible and Christianity because of "fear and recourse." She was also calling upon pastors to stop being "Super Pastors' and to be vulnerable and tell their congregations about the struggles they have in life.
That set of a lot of responses to her from pastors who told why they could NOT do such things.. One excellent response is here: Pastors and Honesty
Here is an excerpt:
So, when Rachel signs her letter from "The Congregation," I have to wonder which "congregation" it is who is eager for their pastor to tell the truth about life, faith, and relationships? Which congregation doesn't only say they want authenticity and honesty, but will actually respond well to it and find God's healing through those things?
My guess is that the congregation she is describing has these characteristics:
1. The church has a culture of grace. When people share honestly with one another, they are not condemned for it but are met with love and empathy. They hear "me too" more than "shame on you."
2. The church has a lot of young people. The college students and young adults I've worked with over the years have been far more eager for honesty than others I've worked with. They are likely immersed in social media and its culture of sharing and are comfortable with opening up the intimate aspects of their lives with others.
3. The church is emotionally healthy. When confronted with weakness or struggle, they search inside of themselves instead of punishing others for what they've done.
4. The church wants to be challenged. Truthfully, a lot of people in churches are not looking to hear something hard or new. They don't want to be led in new ways. They come to church to hear the things they already know and to be comforted. They need to want to be led and to be stretched in new directions in order to be open to the honesty that heals.
If we're being honest, most churches do not have these characteristics. I don't know how many Rachel Evans there are in most churches who would receive a pastor's honesty with grace and self-reflection. And that's why most pastors are unwilling to tell the truth.
The blog comments that sparked this exchange is here:
Dear Pastors,Tell us the truth.Tell us the truth when you don’t know the answers to our questions, and your humility will set the example as we seek them out together.Tell us the truth about your doubts, and we will feel safe sharing our own.Tell us the truth when you get tired, when the yoke grows too heavy and the hill too steep to climb, and we will learn to carry one another’s burdens because we started with yours.Tell us the truth when you are sad, and we too will stop pretending.Tell us the truth when your studies lead you to new ideas that might stretch our faith and make us uncomfortable, and those of us who stick around will never forget that you trusted us with a challenge.Tell us the truth when your position is controversial, and we will grow braver along with you.Tell us the truth when you need to spend time on your marriage, and we will remember to prioritize ours.Tell us the truth when you fail, and we will stop expecting perfection.Tell us the truth when you think that our old ways of doing things need to change, and though we may push back, the conversation will force us to examine why we do what we do and perhaps inspire something even greater.Tell us the truth when you fall short, and we will drop our measuring sticks.Tell us the truth when all that’s left is hope, and we start digging for it.Tell us the truth when the world requires radical grace, and we will generate it.Tell us the truth even if it’s surprising, disappointing, painful, joyous, unexpected, unplanned, and unresolved, and we will learn that this is what it means to be people of faith.Tell us the truth and you won’t be the only one set free.Love,The Congregation
