James Malm: World's Foremost Authority On Onanism

What's with all the hundreds of splinter cult leaders of Armstrongism that think they have to invade your bedroom with their personal opinions?  Herbert Armstrong did it with "God Speaks Out On The New Morality" and "The Missing Dimension in Sex."  Garner Ted, well.....he just invaded the bedrooms and had fun.  Meredith talks constantly about sex. Masturbation and gays are his favorite subject.

So it was only a matter of time till James Malm invaded your personal space in your bedroom with HIS laws.  He already controls all other aspects of your daylight hour lives, why not continue on to the bedroom!

The apostle is starting series of articles on sex.  So to start it off he has picked the sin of Onan to discuss.

The apostle says is is NOT a story about masturbation, but about:

⁹ And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in [He DID take her] unto his brother’s wife, that he spilled it on the ground [in a common birth control method], lest that he should give seed to his brother.

Motivations
The first born son is to inherit a double portion, and that lot fell to Onan with the death of his older brothers.

However, if he produced a son for his older brother, that son would inherit the double portion, leaving Onan with only a single portion for himself and his own children.

There may have been other circumstances known to God which would account for the apparent  quick judgment; for example Onan may have hated his brother; but that is not recorded and is a matter that only God knows for sure.

Onan may also have done this several times which is not recorded, before God acted, and God could have wanted this woman to have a place in the lineage of David for various reasons and so have acted to give her a better husband.

To state or imply that there is anything more to this story in sexual terms is simply not true.

No, the story of Onan has absolutely NOTHING to do with masturbation.  Does that make masturbation right or wrong?  NO, it merely reveals that this so called proof text on the subject, actually has NOTHING to do with that subject.

This is sure to disappoint Spanky Meredith who has obsessed over hand jobs for decades.

The only thing that ever stuck with me from the boring classes that I had at Ambassador was a comment made by an Evangelist in Principles of Living class.  Oral sex and masturbation was the topic of the day.  When he started talking about masturbation he asked the mixed class how many had ever done it.  No one raised their hands. He then said, "95% of you in this room have done it, the other 5% lie about it."

Satan Caused Death of Elvis To Distract Attention Away From HWA's Resurrection

Geoff Neilson, the HWA worshiper and false prophet from South Africa shows once again on why Armstrongism is not based in reality.  The COG's wonder why the world looks at them all as kooky.  Is it any wonder when people like Geoff, Pack, Weinland, Flurry, and others say some of the most incredibly stupid things!

Neilson thinks that Herbert W. and Garner Ted will both be resurrected again to be the end time two witnesses.

This will be Herbert Armstrong's second resurrection.  Remember when he supposedly died in Tuscon and was miraculously brought back to life because the church needed to be put "back on track?"  That resurrection had been intended to be a magnificent sign to the world to show God's hand at work in the Worldwide Church of God.  However, Satan had other plans. He was apparently so pissed at the resurrection of HWA that he caused Elvis to die at the same time.  That was the news story of the day, Herbert was not.  Apparently Satan had more power than God, or God was too busy else where to keep HWA in the forefront of the news.

God has already resuscitated Mr Armstrong from death once before.  The medically very experienced Dr Roy McCarthy, who knew him well, testified that there was no clinical record of any other 85-year-old man experiencing heart failure, and recovering to the extent Mr Armstrong did.  It was a miracle.  And one that it seems Satan tried to cover up:

That event was overshadowed by another unprecedented event on the same day:  the enormous media coverage on August 16, 1977, reporting the death of the music idol Elvis Presley. 

The subsequent rumors that Elvis (the King) hadnt died, or had been brought back to life, were an eerily similar imitation of Mr Armstrongs genuinely Royal lineage, of his resuscitation then, and perhaps again in the future.

Was this Elvis mania, Satans attempt to hide the more important event of the dayMr Armstrongs restored lifebecause the Devil was afraid the Two Witnesses were about to rise?

At the time Dr Herman L. Hoeh, the chief historian in the Philadelphia Era, linked Mr Armstrongs recovery from heart failure to the prophecy in Revelation 10:11, predicting Mr Armstrong would preach again to many nations and kings.  Which he did.