Global /Eternal Church of God: It Is Offensive To God If You Get Up To Get A Drink of Water, Tell Jokes or Nap During Services

No naps in the Global/Church of the Eternal God while the preacher is preaching!

Apparently Global/CEG COG folk cannot joke about their preachers making fools of themselves in the pulpit.  So the next time some long winded fool won't shut up or says something really, really stupid, just sit there with a straight face and act as if nothing happened.  God forbids you from laughing at the preacher.

Notice also that it is a major slight against God if you get up to get a drink of water while listening to services at home!

We concentrate on and listen carefully to the messages (including the announcements, as well as the sermonette and sermon). It is understood, of course, that parents will have to take care of their babies and young children, which might even require at times to take them out of the Church hall, when they get too loud and disturb others. But apart from these sometimes inevitable distractions, there is no excuse for not paying close and undivided attention to services. It would be highly inappropriate to engage in jokes or unnecessary conversation during services (except for unavoidable situations, such as when our technical staff may at times have to communicate with each other to make sure that the services are being properly broadcast, etc.). It would also be offensive to God if someone were to get up during services (whether in a Church hall or at home) to walk to the kitchen for a snack or a meal, or even a cup of coffee or tea or water (excepting necessary circumstances), or to take a nap during services.

This is the law as laid down by Norbert Link 

Global/Eternal Church of God Prohibits Unshaven Pajama Boys With Uncombed Hair From Listening To Saturday Internet Services

I guess Pajama Boy would not be allowed to listen to Global Church of God services.  

Probably a good thing....

Global/Church of the Eternal God lays down the law for those miscreants who cannot attend a live church service for one reason or another.  Don't even think about being lazy one Saturday and rolling over to listen on the internet.  If you do that you are a filthy heathen who is forsaking gathering together with the brethren.  Too lazy to shave or comb your hair?  Still in your pj's?  You have already racked up four major sins right off the bat.

“In addition, some brethren are scattered. They cannot physically join with other members on the Sabbath, so they listen to sermon tapes, or they sit in and listen to live Internet worship services (In passing, those who can physically attend are commanded to do so, and they are not permitted to just use Internet access as a substitute and as an excuse for not ‘having’ to attend Church services in person). If scattered brethren have Sabbath worship services ‘in their home,’ while listening to tapes or to live Internet Church services, they still appear before God during that time, and again, we don't want to appear before God uncombed, unshaved and unwashed, or by just wearing our pajamas…”

This is the law as laid down by Norbert Link 

Standing On Holy Ground With Philadelphia Church of God at Robbers Cave State Park

Campfire song at Robbers Cave with PCG


PCG's Official YouTube Video of This Holy Ground Weekend With Godly Piano

The Philadelphia Church of God has an article up today about a "retreat" that the faculty and "college" students went on to Robbers Cave State Park, in Oklahoma.  Most of the things they describe sound like a typical Church of God camp out with all kinds of activities.  That is until this:

The Robbers Cave tradition goes back before 2002 to when dean of students Stephen Flurry read Malachi’s Message for the first time on July 16, 1989, while there as a 19-year-old. Since 2002, students and faculty have heard Chancellor Gerald Flurry deliver major announcements at Robbers Cave, including the Philadelphia Church of God’s copyright victory.

“Our most memorable experience by far was the announcement of the court case victory in 2003, at the same location where a year previous we’d heard Mr. Gerald Flurry share with us the new revelation from Habakkuk that this victory was prophesied,” theology and speech instructor Wik Heerma said.

“Robbers Cave is a place with an immense amount of history, yet at the same time, it points to a wonderful future and gives vision in such an awe-inspiring way,” sophomore Joel Hudson-Stewart said.

Will Gerald Flurry now try and buy the state park for his own private use or move it to his cult compound?  Will he erect a monument there glorifying that lil' Stevie read Malachi's Message there?  Or, that  PCG paid WCG millions of dollars for the rights to publish Herb's foolishness, or that Gerald Flurry drank Coor's beer there?

The nonsense that COG groups deem "historic" and relevant to a Christians walk is appalling.  They can't talk about Jesus, but they hold as sacred lil' Stevie reading a plagiarized document there.

I am not worthy to be in the presence of such magnificence.