Tuesday, October 11, 2022

Dave Pack Sure Knows How To Bum Out A Feast

Another False Alarm

 

As predicted by a certain non-prophet/non-psychic, David C. Pack of The Restored Church of God has hijacked the Feast of Tabernacles to make it all about him.

 

By the time this article is written, he has already failed again. The First Kingdom of God was set to arrive at sunrise in Jerusalem on Tishrei 16. That was 11:39 PM Eastern time last night. Whoopsie daisies.

 

After suckling Meat Shield’s teat for an appropriate amount of time, Dave gained the strength to stand at the lectern to deliver a 95-minute presumption circus to members worldwide during a Livestream. “The Greatest Unending Story! (Part 398*)” was given during the morning service on the first day of The Feast of Tabernacles in Wadsworth, Ohio.

 

The * for certain Parts will be explained at the end of the article.

 

 

His opening words set the tone for the hilarity to follow.

 

Part 398* – October 10, 2022

@ 00:02 Good morning, everyone. Yes, we are still on track.

 

The previous article pointed out how that was one of five lies Meat Shield stammered to the church a few days ago. We see who he got it from. This “already failed” business is what Andy was so excited about. Sad.

 

“We are still on track” is gaslighting madness without shame. And even before the deadline, Team Faux had already posted a Pathetic Update in Member Services, moonwalking the timing.

 

Dear brethren,

 

In the crush of preparation, one crucial assumption was made that was a mistake, with everything else correct (including our settled status). Well ahead of Jerusalem sunrise, Mr. Pack and the group of traveling ministers suddenly began to see a definitive path deeper into the Feast. In short, the question became, could there be less than 5 days of Kingdom before the 10 days of tribulation? The answer quickly became YES!

 

They later dropped in this nugget to further impose on everyone's Feast.

 

All the dawn proofs remain! We must watch day-by-day (dawn Jerusalem time)…

 

There was more to it, but you get the idea. It did not take peering into a crystal ball to see that one coming.

 

The Coffee Kid, Meat Shield (sans wife), and Dave have no choice but to string this out. That is always the play. That will always be the play. God is not with them, so what else can they do?

 

Dave failed again. And they are stretching it out again. Now we are ready to hear what he said yesterday.

 

@ 01:35 …and I’ll explain to you why there can be no 399.

 

Does anyone want to bet how soon Part 399 will hit our inbox? It would be too easy to say, “Before the Feast is over.” The real question is, How far behind that will be Part 400 and 401? Wait for it. It will surely come. Though it hesitates. Wait for it.

 

You can watch 65-seconds of “beef” in the message right here.

 


@ 03:24 I want to begin with an unusual introduction. I’m going to give you the conclusion at the start. It amounts to a kind of an announcement. I’m gonna tell you when the Kingdom of God comes. Then, prove it.

 

Just as a reminder, what you are about to read has already failed. Dave already walked it back with the Pathetic Update last night.

 

@ 03:47 So, here it is. Within about ten hours, roughly about ten hours after I finish today at roughly one o’clock, now this is a very dramatic statement, the Kingdom will arrive at dawn in Jerusalem day two of the Feast.Now, you're response ought to be at this moment, "What?! Dawn? A day and a half into the Feast of Tabernacles? What?" Well, if nothing else, let me at least say this, You can understand why no one was ever gonna figure that out till the end. The question is: Can I prove it from the Bible? And I absolutely can, and that's basically the balance of the sermon.

 

Sermon—Skip.

 

So, he asks a question and then answers it for us. Too bad he was wrong. The remaining portion of the sermon was rendered moot less than twelve hours later.

 

The true answer is: No. You cannot prove it from the Bible, Dave. You spent over 90 minutes presuming again. You taught what God never intended again. Fraudulent foolishness.

 

That is not my opinion. That is not a wild assertion or an educated guess. It is not experienced speculation. It is not a theory based on the preponderance of the evidence. It is not hope. It is not a desire made manifest because I want it to be so.

 

You did not prove it from the Bible, and the passing of time rests its case. Physical reality declares you a fraud. History proves you are a fraud. Just consider me the stenographer.

 

If this article had been written before the deadline, then the balance of the sermon could have been examined with only a healthy skepticism. Instead, we can look back on the fossil record and see what has already happened.

 

David C. Pack, the blind Pastor General of The Restored Church of Another god, is not a man of his word. A false apostle and a false prophet who does not teach the truth of God and suffers medical-grade denial, ignoring the reality all around him. He is an impotent leader surrounded by sycophant enablers that the Bible calls hirelings.

 

That is the whole deal in a nutshell.

 

 

@ 05:56 Now, if that didn’t intrigue you, then you’re probably in the wrong church. I’m sure it did.

 

Witnessing a public display of narcissistic insecurity is an eye-opening experience. Everyone inside The Restored Church of Another god IS in the wrong church. Dave threw the idea out there and reeled it back after a revelatory pause. Twice within two minutes, he had to don a verbal fig leaf.

 

Were you afraid those in the audience might consider they were in the wrong church, Dave? You are certainly trying your little heart out to make it so.

 

@ 06:10 There is a 15-day Kingdom, just like we thought…that ends at the new moon of Cheshvan.

 

But We is a jerkface. Why do you keep listening to We?

 

Based on the Pathetic Update last night, they are already reversing this reverse. See, Dave keeps proving he is an Uno fan.

 

Note for the future: Keep Cheshvan 1 (October 26) on your radar. After everyone returns home from the Feast of Tabernacles as they all planned, Dave will make a bigger deal of it as it gets closer.

 

@ 10:37 Now, I’m gonna explain to you something extraordinary happened at 11:13. Just twenty-five minutes ago. And one of my assignments, and I never understood this, was to make a special announcement foretold in a bunch of places in the scriptures about something that was certain as of twenty-five minutes ago.

 

Dave has a habit of giving himself assignments nobody asked him to do. He is like the Hall Monitor in school, but the one nobody authorized. He took the job upon himself because the hall must be monitored, and he knew he was the right guy to get’er done.

 

It is funny how church leaders always seem to know they are the right ones to lead.

 

The only thing "certain" that David C. Pack teaches is his inevitable failure. Again, that is not an opinion. That is a cold, hard fact of history.

 

@ 11:33 …we had that right. But we had it in the wrong place.

 

I think that RCG slogan belongs on a t-shirt. If we order them now, we can have them ready for Family Day.

 

 

@ 24:24 So, once you know the 1335, you could never know in any future year once you hit it if it were true. If it doesn't happen this year. It has to apply this year, or it's not a metric…then next year, you cannot know the divine pledge of something that's coming in "yet a little while." You could hope it was, but you could have no faith that it is in any future year.

 

That point makes an Epic Fail of his numerous recent admissions. Take a trip down Memory Lane to recall some ancient history.

 

Part 396* – October 1, 2022

@ 1:48:04 We are not seeking the 1335.

 

Part 389 – August 24, 2022

@ 51:10 …my God-appointed task was to end the Mystery of God…not to declare the year that God chooses.

 

@ 53:47 But it’s not my job to say it is this year…it has to be the end of the Series. No possible way to go on. There's no time.

 

@ 54:54 No wonder I was never able to get the year right.

 

@ 52:38 So I wouldn’t say the date again when it arrived. Therefore…I won’t do it. And I’m sorry that I ever did.

 

Part 390 – August 27, 2022

@ 43:24 I'm not commissioned, I'm sorry, to say the year. I told you three days ago I'm not commissioned to tell you the year. I'm not required to do that. It’s God’s job.

 

Part 392 – September 10, 2022

@ 51:31 I have no authority. I made an assumption. I have no authority to say that the First Kingdom, the 1335, has to be 15 days…

 

How about another reminder lest we forget this definitive statement regarding the Kingdom of God arriving on the Feast of Trumpets.

 

Part 389 – August 24, 2022

@ 50:54 I would die before I would give up that truth. There is no question the Prophetic Kingdom Solar System we have built is right.

 

Trumpets was the Trophy Wife, but Tammuz loved us back when we were nothing, and look what happened to her.

 

Part 379 – June 25, 2022

@ 18:34 I believe that [Tammuz 1] no less certainly than I believe the seventh day is the Sabbath.

 

David C. Pack believed the Kingdom of God would arrive on Tammuz 1 as surely as he believes the Sabbath. David C. Pack would rather die than give up on Trumpets. He admitted he has no authority to say what he has. He acknowledged it is God's job to do what he is doing.

 

How wicked and devilish of me to quote David C. Pack right back at him.

 

David C. Pack tells you everything you need to hear to make a judgment call if he is true or not.

 

@ 25:23 No wonder we learned it right at the very end in this whole full picture. So, I’m here to tell you, If you’re at the Feast of Tabernacles, you made it! You have heard the announcement. You have a pledge. You have a promise. You have a message from God you can carry off with you. An absolute divine assurance of good that you made it.

 

David C. Pack: Professional Blasphemer. The words sound biblical and godly but are poison for the heart that leeches away faith and joy.

 

These are the words that damage people inside RCG. Words of dark villainy. A simple passing of time forced this conclusion.

 

@ 28:46 So, let's go see all of this in the Bible. Now, let's go be sure that we've got this right. This time. ‘Cause I’ll just promise you, I’ll just say this, if it doesn’t happen in a few hours, then somehow it’s next year at the exact same time. I don’t know how that could be.

 

Someone did not read last night’s Pathetic Update…naughty, naughty.

 

 

@ 57:59 This verse struck me in Revelation 9 [:15]. It stunned me. It stunned me. And I knew absolutely, I knew I was right. I knew I was right.

 

But, by the time his head went back onto the pillow last night…well, maybe it was just a nice dream, David. It is good to have dreams. About being right. But that is all they are for you. Dreams about being right. Because reality can be a bitch.

 

You hold on tight to that dream that you are right. But, one day, you will wake up.

 

@ 1:32:51 Now, let me just say, If nothing happens in the next few hours…You should be deeply convicted that we are waiting for the exact same moment on the second day of the Feast of Tabernacles. That is beyond arguable. The Mystery of God is resolved.

 

Beyond arguable? David C. Pack less than ten hours into your future had a different opinion. You should take it up with him.

 

Everyone should be convicted that David C. Pack is not a man to be trusted. His words are empty and lifeless. Time declares him a liar.

 

There is no way this man can sit on his hands with any idea for an entire year. The spotlight beckons, and he is drawn toward the light.

 

Why does he keep repeating the same mistakes? Why does he keep moving the goalpost? Why does he keep kicking the can down the road?

 

Money. Money. Money.

 

If the RCG bus of insanity slows down too much, it will encourage those ready to leap to freedom. Very few have the stones to jump off the vehicle before it slows down. Well, you do that if you know your life is in danger.

 

The Restored Church of Another god is not a religious “safe space.” Get out while you still can.

 

Message over. Mic drop. He was out the door to Utah. Good riddance.

 

David C. Pack is a blind false apostle teaching what God never intended as he invalidates his own words.

 

All any of us on the outside can do is hope and pray that there is a mass exodus from The Restored Church of Another god after the Feast of Tabernacles. We can also hope the Feast attendees “voted with their checkbooks” to tell Dave they have zero confidence in his ability to preach the truth.

 

God did not inspire this latest false alarm. God will not guide the next one. And only God can end these things. Let us pray He does so speedily. Even so, come, Lord Jesus.

 

 

 

*** This is the third time Team Faux changed the names and numbers of messages after they were posted. The latest confusion stems from the “Special Comments” on September 25 being repackaged to be Part 395. This is because Dave thought the Series was over and Jesus Christ was about to return. Dooh!

 

As in times past, Dave and the enablers stared at each other after the clock ticked past the deadline, and they all shrugged, "I guess God gave us more time." Then, they had to rename and renumber the last few messages causing a stir for Website Services.

 

Special Comments on September 25 is now Part 395.

Part 395 on October 1 is now Part 396.

Part 396 on October 1 is now Part 397.

 

The part numbers in the previous articles will not change. They will be kept “as delivered.” I no longer chase David C. Pack around with a dustpan and paper towels to clean up his mess.

 

He does not seem to mind lurking on the Third Floor with a poopy diaper. So I will let him.

 

 

 Marc Cebrian

See: Another False Alarm

Banned's Most Ardent Follower Chuckles About Us In His Old Covenant Sermon



The most ardent reader of Banned and our favorite perpetually butthurt self-appointed prophet makes mention in his first sermon of his 'feast' about how he had to chuckle after reading Banned yesterday.

Feeling the burn over producing the WORST opening night Feast of Tabernacles video in Church of God history, he had the audacity to mention being made fun of.

The Great Bwana goes on to mention that his video has had more views than expected, but fails to mention that this "achievement" was thanks to the fact that readers from Banned watched the first couple minute of it before shutting it off either in disgust or utter amazement on how ridiculous it was. I fully expect Bwana Bob to thank Banned in his sermon tomorrow for helping the viewership numbers rise unexpectedly. A REAL leader would do that.

You too can chuckle along with Chuckles Thiel in this short clip below. Chag Sameach!
 



Sunday, October 9, 2022

The WORST Opening Night Feast Sermon Ever Recorded!

Since the implosion of the church in the late 1990's and the rapidly shrinking Feast sites with more and more members not attending, many COG's have resorted to opening night videos to encourage the brethren. Most opening night services have historically tended to be a waste of time as members were tired from driving long distances and just wanted to relax. Instead, they were conned into coming to the opening night service where Feastival coordinators or someone further down the ministerial food chain spoke because only the most really IMPORTANT ministers spoke on the first and last days.

Imagine driving a long distance and finding out there may only be 25 -50 people in attendance and you have to listen to the Great Bwana with hands flailing about as he bounces and flounces in his chair for 35 minutes! Ghastly days, Loma! What a nightmare! In the end, you will wonder why you wasted 35 minutes of your life listening to such a pile of useless information.

The Great Bwana, the Beto of Africa, the most important minister in the Church of God since Jesus himself walked the green hills of this earth believes that you need to hear his admonitions. Never have we been blessed to have a such spiritually grounded man in our midst as we do in Beto Bob! Gerald Flurry and Dave Pack tremble at his feet in rank embarrassment.

Ever since he was almost arrested and then publicly humiliated by Rod Meredith before getting kicked out of the church, the Great Beto has been on a quest to prove the legitimacy and authority he assumes to weld as the end-time man of God. Beto uses that authority to stick his nose into the lives of his few followers by telling them how they should act at the Feast. Beto makes sure to get in as one of his first points that people give him their tithe of the tithe (a made-up command by the mother church).

Some of his very important topics for his few members are:

  • scriptural commands (of which there are none for New Covenant Christians)
  • how JC kept the feast (he did since he was a Jew)
  • festival tithe
  • daily attendance requirements
  • how they should eat
  • how they should drink
  • how they should rejoice
  • how they should exhort others
  • the jobs of members and resurrected COG members as teachers in the millennium
  • Most of all, you are to build character at the Feast by forcing yourself to sit there and listen to his mind-numbing sermons.

Almost arrested Beto writes:

This message is for the opening night of the Feast of Tabernacles for 2022 by the Continuing Church of God (CCOG). It discusses aspects of God’s plan, including peace that will ensue after Satan is bound. Dr. Thiel discusses scriptural command’s, Jesus’ observance, festival tithe, daily attendance, eating, alcohol, rejoicing, exhorting others, the role of resurrected Christians teaching others in the millennium, historic Christian understanding of the Feast of Tabernacles, enduring to the end, and the abundance in the coming Kingdom of God. Dr. Thiel mentions that the CCOG has festival sites in North America, Latin America, Africa, Europe, Australia, New Zealand, the Caribbean, and the Philippines. He also mentions that the CCOG has literature in 160 languages to reach Gentiles as well as those of Israelite heritage. Dr. Thiel encourages people to have a peaceful festival where they rejoice, gain knowledge, and help build character.

All of this drivel means absolutely NOTHING to his members in Africa. Unable to relate to his African followers he has to pass on first-world issues the church has preached on for decades, believing members were too stupid to know how to act.

You can witness the magic here: