Are you a Belgian who makes good chocolate and are friendly? Then you are one of the 12 Tribes!!!!

When Belgians think of COG false prophets

It has always fascinated me how those in Armstrongism that deal in prophecy porn need to make endless speculations as to who the so-called lost 12 tribes are. They need to establish who those 12 tribes are ignorer to prop up their delusional and outright lies concerning prophecy. After all these years of believing God revealed to Herbert Armstrong restored "truths" one would think they could make up their minds about this malarkey. While art is certainly fascinating reading at times, it has no relevance to any COG member in 2023, particularly when it comes to prophecy porn dished out by self-appointed false prophets of the Church of God.

But how dismissive of me to forget that God set into motion, as the universe was being created, for a latter-day prophet to arise in the early 21st Century that would be the channel for all revealed truth from God Almighty himself. Not so much from Jesus, but the Big Kahuna himself. Never before in the history of humanity would there be a man as magnificent and important as the Great Bwana to ever-changing numbers in Africa and the occasional 100 Caucasians? HWA, GTA, Herman Hoeh, Gerald Waterhouse, and the other prophecy shmucks of Armstrongism stand in awe of the Great Bwana Bob Mzungu Thiel. The best waffler the church has ever seen!

Anyway, that brings us to some of the latest hilarity out of Grover Beach in his article attempting to PROVE that Belgium is one of the lost 12 tribes.

The Great Bwana quotes one of the most prolific false prophets of Armstrongism, Herman Hoeh, as his source of authority, along with a former WCG member.

He writes:

Are there prophecies related to Belgium and Luxembourg? 

 

The late evangelist Dr. Herman Hoeh wrote the following:

Asher “his bread shall be fat and he shall yield royal danties” (Gen. 49:20). This peculiar expression could have reference alone to Belgium and the kindred state Luxembourg. From Belgium have come the finest Flemish paintings, the royal tapestries which graced the halls of kings, fine cut diamonds, porcelain and Belgian lace. Belgium and Luxembourg are blessed above many another son of Jacob “Blessed be Asher above sons; let him be the favoured of his brethren, and let him dip his foot in oil” prosperity. Iron and brass shall by thy bars; and as thy days, so shall they riches increase. Because of uranium, Belgium’s prosperity will continue to grow. (The above rendering of Deut. 33:25 is the correct it is highly obscure.) (LOCATION OF THE TRIBES OF ISRAEL by Herman L Hoeh, ca. 1950s)

Because Hoeh recanted his Compendium of World History as inaccurate, why should anyone believe him about this other speculation in history and prophecy? False prophets need other false prophets to prop up their delusions.

He continues:

Retired teacher Bert Otten, who was once part of the old WCG, sent me a paper with his reasons why he feels that many in Belgium and Luxembourg are the descendants of the biblical tribe of Asher. He told me that I could edit and/or use what he sent in any way.

Belgian beer is the superfood for COG false prophets

 

Otten lists 10 things that PROVE Belgians are of the tribe of Asher:

1. They are happy 

2. They eat rich food

3.  They make great delicacies:

        a. Beer 

                  b. chocolate

        c. waffles and candies

        d. tapestries, lace, and comic books

4.  They are kind and friendly

5.  There is a lot of iron and coal in their land

6.  They make good things of brass (taken from the Congo after King Leopold tortured and killed millions of Congolese, but that's ok, they're of the tribe of Asher, and God said the Congo was theirs to exploit)

          7.  They extracted palm oil from the Congo:

8.  They are part of the Benelux nations and are all three descendants of  biblical Leah (Belgium, Luxembourg, and Netherlands)

 

9.  They are brave fighters

10. Belgians are neutral and peaceful

Once again, it may be fascinating reading but is ultimately irrelevant to one's walk with Christ.

Nevertheless, the Great Bwana has to thump his little chest and toot his little horn:

I should add that we have been to Belgium at least twice and Luxembourg at least once.

Yep, the Great Bwana is now an AUTHORITY on Belgium. I've been there many more times than he has, but that's another subject. 

Crackpot Bob ends with this:

Knowing where various peoples have come from, help us better understand how the Bible teaches that various ones will be affected by end time events that are still to come to pass.

Anyone who is a follower of Christ has no need for this malarkey, as fascinating as it might be.

Gal. 3 Verses 28 to 29
[28] There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. [29] And if you are Christ's, then you are Abraham's offspring, heirs according to promise.

How Logic Works In Armstrongism

 

Armstrong Logic

This is an image created by the Etruscans as an offering 

to their goddess protector of children, Tec Sans.

Tec Sans sounds a lot like Texans.

All Texans are now pagan.

from a WCG Survivors Facebook Group

How Did The Armstrong Empire Get Into Its Current Mess?

 

The following was a comment left on the "Dave Pack's Pristine Record Of Perfect Failures" posting. I think deserves its own post because of how well it sums up how the COGhas reached the point it is at today..

The1950s were an exciting time to be alive. So many new products and trends were being launched. TVwas a new phenomenon, and very exciting. The cars had new powerful engines and two tone paint jobs were optional. Teenagers were being recognized as a separate demographic as opposed to being merely extensions of their parents. Music, movies, television and clothing styles reflected this. Rock music became the sound track for teenage life. Most families attended church, and there were points of connection between public schools and local community churches. 

There was also something very new about Herbert W. Armstrong's amalgamation of doctrines and message. He began coming into his own when the FCC mandated that small local AM radio stations cease broadcasting at sunset each day, opening up frequencies for big 50,000 watt "clear channel" stations, and The World Tomorrow program was carried on some of these stations. How effective were these stations? Well, a teenager in Philadelphia, on a 6 transistor radio, could pick up WABC New York, WBZ Boston, WLS Chicago, or CKLW Windsor Ontario, from about 9:00 PM until he fell asleep on it. The "Radio" Church of God was aptly named. Members were largely scattered across the USA, and ministered to via radio. When we went to Texas for our first Feast of Tabernacles, held in the new corrugated steel building in 1958, it was the stuff dreams were made of. None of the kids at school had such an opportunity, and with over 5,000 people attending, most people of that era were not accustomed to gatherings of that size. In 1959, we flew.

Nobody at the time was preaching a message like HWA was. There was interest and rapid growth. We had no local churches in the East. A church in Pittsburgh was raised up, iirc, in 1959, followed later by New York City, but they were only viable for us for occasional trips, and the holy days. Without a local church, it really was not an organized thing for us, and we had no exposure to church government. As we started to be able to attend church more, and our parents met and spoke with the parents of children our ages, they began really zealously applying what was in the child rearing booklet, wrecking my whole concept of family, and we suddenly needed all manner of special exceptions at school, turning us pretty much into pariahs. One thing was definitely universal, and that was the belief that we'd be going to Petra in 1972, and Jesus would return in 1975. That's where Dave Pack learned his shtick. The only way in which he is different is that he doesn't just make one false prophecy and backpedal. He makes them repeatedly!

As 1975 approached, field ministers were requesting that some of the doctrines be reviewed. Divorce and remarriage beliefs had caused much hardship when viable families were split up. People were dying from ailments treatable by doctors. Loma Armstrong was one of them, her death being a profound shock to members. Farmers lost their farms due to keeping land sabbaths. And, it was looking like 1975 was going to be a nonevent. When it was, the ministers backpedaled and lied, saying the church had never set dates, but they had indeed done exactly that. Some of the more scholarly members began doing their own studies, which is what we should have all done at the beginning, instead of simply memorizing the materials in the Correspondence Course. Their research exposed huge problems with the doctrines. 

There are probably people who see the sad state of the splinters today and wonder how the Armstrong empire got into its current mess. The Tkaches get blamed for so much, but the leaders of the splinters are most certainly responsible as well. Some ask what if Garner Ted had not been the spiritual equivalent of an Eddie Haskell. But, the seeds were sown by false prophecy, which failed, and apparently nobody has learned any lessons from that. The false prophecy may have fit the zeitgeist of 1955-1970. Time and date stamp of Armstrongism expired shortly thereafter.