On a Personal Note

Indulge me a bit in sharing how one can go from being a minister in WCG, or any church for that matter, to an informed skeptic and I suppose now atheist which simply means, to me, one who does not emotionally or intellectually need a Deity to explain the world and my own part in it.   It means I do not feel compelled to live in either the Bronze or Iron Age in my thinking and beliefs.

Years ago I took a personality profile test found it so accurate, down to the kinds of gestures I use and why, that I suggest to Joe Tkach that all ministers and leader types take one. This, from my naive perspective, might just prevent sending the same, ill placed and probably not really called to serve anyone but themselves type ministers from going on and on and hurting one congregation after another. WCG had this very bad habit of transferring it's problem ministers rather than confronting them. They said no to testing. Now I know why. People hate the insecurity that comes from knowing they aren't as special as they think they are. I'd challenge any leader of a WCG split, splinter or sliver to take one.  They won't ever....ever.

Being out of the loop, it took me years to figure this out. It took me years to admit that what I was seeing in WCG was happening as my ENFP personality, which is Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling and Perceptive, also is founded upon the idea that people like me are negotiators, ministers, counselors and even massage therapists,  simply hates conflict. Or as my son said so aptly said once, "dad, you'd take a stabbing lying down." That hurt, not the stabbing, but the fact he was right. It's my loathing of conflict I have found that some, like Dave Pack, leader of the Restored Church of God, and others, who are what I would consider abusive, personality driven and more narcissist than shepherds, actually thrive on. Or as Stanley Rader, personal counsel to Herbert Armstrong once said, "I don't care what you say about me, just spell my name right." True narcissism. And so I dismissed in my mind what my heart was telling me was so and went about the business of pastoring people in concepts I still had faith in, even if I could see that the higher up one went in the business of religion, the more your brains turned to shit and you forgot where you put your spirit.

But even more than that, even more than losing faith in a particular church, I knew I was losing faith in faith. I had seen too much that was real and did not match the great promises of the Bible. For all the conflict over healing and doctor care, make-up, and all that I generally labeled as "majoring in the minors," I never asked anyone to do or not do what I would or would not do myself. My conscience is clean when it comes to being an enforcer of stupid things in years gone by. I found that "ask and you shall not have, do not ask and all things are possible", worked just fine in most cases and the years have proven my gut feelings correct in thinking that "someday, none of these things will be issues."

Back to the original thought. I have always been a seeker and open to new things even as a minister. Actually my internal definition of a minister seemed to contain the "keep looking" clause, but that was rare among my peers who felt they had found once and for all, as I did too, but now don't. I think my working mostly alone, apart from the big cities and multiple ministers in one place, probably saved me from scrutiny. The few times I did work with other ministers it was ongoing drama and egomania. I found it entertaining but stupid as well and it took me years to see it was more widespread than I imagined. So even as a minister in a "One True Church," I could see the Bible itself had problems that my Church and all Churches simply do not want to address.  There are many issues, Biblical and secular churches and pastors don't want to address.

Even as a kid in Sunday School, the stories in the Bible generated many questions about how such things could be in reality. Did Joshua really stop the earth from rotating so the Israelites could kill more Amelakites? Answer: NO. Not only is it bad science, but it's a just plain stupid reason to stop the rotation of the earth! Also, no one else on the planet noticed, which made me suspect.

Did 600,000 men, plus women, children and hangers on really trek around the Sinai in a group for 40 years leaving no signs of it? NO, they did not, at least not that many or for that long. I once read a study on how long it would take those in the back of a group that large to get moving once the front of the group started to move. It was weeks! It's mythology adopted to give a small insignificant people, who now get way too much attention, a history. How many times have we almost found Noah's Ark? Always a great story in the news that just goes away. It never happened, at least not in anyway the Bible describes.

Homo Erectus 1.8 Million Years

Over time, I came to see that evolution of all life, including man, is generally true, details to unfold as time goes on. The defensive arguments of the Creationists are lame. Not to them, because they need to believe it, but to me, because I don't. I'm not afraid not to believe the unbelievable. I'd rather be ahead of my times than behind. The 4.5 billion year old meteorites, the 2.5 billion year old banded iron and the 1.8 million year old early human tools in my room inform me more than the Bible and Genesis.

I have had my DNA taken back 100,000 years to Africa (I'm Dutch) and tracing the personal journey my cells, blood and spit have taken to get "me" to America. Fascinating how my saliva proves that in the distant past, "I" traveled through Yemen, Iran, Iraq, the Russian Steppes and left into Europe as Cro-Magnon, routing the Neanderthal who were already there, but lacked the imagination I had to rid the place of them in 18,000 years or so. I love that explanation and journey far more than I do those of the Bible, because it is true.

When I was a pastor and WCG was changing over from Holydays to Holidays, every doubt about the Biblical story of Jesus birth circumstances and the actual narratives came out. I felt that if they could flip over to something so theologically lame as Christmas, I could finally examine my doubts about the whole story. Needless to say, the birth narratives, over which the Church said I studied too much, are not coherent, do not agree, are two different stories, are not known by Mark, John or Paul and find their origins in pagan mythology. All Paul knew of the physical Jesus, who he never met or quoted, was that he was "born of a woman of the tribe of Judah." Nothing special there. Long story.

From there, I discovered that the story of the dying Sons of God in history, such as Osiris, Mithras and Jesus, were retelling of the larger story of the journey the real SUN of God takes around the 12 constellations of the Zodiac every year. It is no coincidence that the SON of God and the SUN are crucified in the Spring on and around the Spring Equinox or that Jesus was the Lamb of God as was the SUN in Aries, the Lamb when it was "crucified". For Jesus to be "with you until the end of the age," means more the age of Aries which ended 2000 years ago with Jesus death and not the end of the world as fundamentalist Christians insist. 

It explained all those 12 tribes, 12 sons, 12 disciples, 12 Apostles etc, that surrounded the "SON" on his one year ministry, according to Matthew, Mark and Luke, but three years according to John. It's no coincidence that in Revelation, God is surrounded by 24 elders, which are the hours in the day. To me this makes perfect sense and the fact that Matthew's Gospel accounts of Jesus ministry through the twelve months of his short ministry, exactly match the story of the SUN through the twelve signs of the Zodiac. Stories in the Bible that make no sense literally on earth, (like the Magi seeing Jesus star in the East and following it West to his house) often make perfect sense when you understand them as astro-theology. The story of the dying Son/Sun of God takes place every year over our heads. Light is the great revealer, but light also hides. You won't hear that story in church! Nuther long story. I suppose years ago I did wonder why in Malachi, the "Messiah" or Jesus as Christians said it pointed to, was said to be "the Sun that arose with healing in his wings." If you know of the Egyptian sun symbol with wings, you'll see how old a concept that was.

So while I find the story of the Bible in the heavens, as below...so above etc, I don't fear the literalism of the Bible anymore, nor would I teach it. This is, in part, why I feel strongly about those that are manipulated by ignorant and pushy pastor types, into supporting something literally that is not literally to be supported. Ideas have consequences and we see that every day with religion gone amuck. Spirituality, as I have always noted, comes from within and doesn't need your money nor for you to show up Wednesday evenings, Saturday or Sunday.

Now to some, the reason I can go on this journey of discovery and enlightenment, while painful at times, is because I was never converted to the truth of past affiliations. I think I was. I was a true believer for a long time. But when I saw how quickly those in "high" places could change and demand change, everything I ever doubted bubbled up and here I am. 

I have both a deep resentment for those that have hurt so many and a gratefulness that I was able to get out and not have the drama of all that followed. The local church I last pastored was already using me as a punching bag in place of those they really resented enough. Remember, I don't like conflict, much less being the imagined target and cause of their anger. I learned to tell people I was never one of them, but one of "you" working for "them." I grew up Presbyterian and well outside a lifelong WCG mentality. I did manage to remind Joe Tkach that he was reinventing the wheel and that what he found so so new in Jesus, was so so old a story to the vast majority of those who came to WCG in the first place. For that I was told later that "HQ thinks you know a lot about Jesus, Dennis...but they don't think you KNOW Jesus." Uh oh.... :) Actually I think I know about Jesus more than they can possibly imagine... at least the Jesus of the Bible. It seems real contemporaries of Jesus know little or nothing of a Jesus who was known everywhere according to the Bible.

And so I have lost faith in just having faith. I like the facts more than I like faith. I understand faith and I agree that sometimes there is nothing to have but faith until facts come forward. But I do not substitute faith for facts. Eventually faith falls to facts.  

 Even a good Buddhist will say that sometimes there is nothing left in life to do but have a good laugh. A good laugh and "faith" sometimes are the same thing. When I had my kids immunized in 1974 when it was not fashionable theologically in WCG, I did so because facts over rode my faith factors. When Herbert Armstrong said in a Bible study that dinosaurs probably couldn't reproduce because they were created by Satan who couldn't either, I went with the cover of National Geographic  I saw on his coffee table in his office that displayed dino eggs. That happened a lot over the years when I listened to one minister or another on various topics they really knew little about. Mixing religion with science is lame.

 I"m still an extrovert, intuitive, feeling and perceptive. I still do "counseling" and I still hate conflict and confrontation. I don't, however, believer I will take a stabbing lying down again.  

Transitions are messy and in looking back, mine certainly was.  As Frank sang, "Mistakes I've made a few. But then again, please don't make me mention them..." or something like that .  Older, wiser and more settled is the end result.  Moving to Oregon was the best thing I have ever done and only the second place I choose to move to in my live rather than have the church tell me to do it.  If I can see Mt. Hood or Mt St Helens on the way home from work which I will do til I drop, it's all good. 

 I suggest you find out what you are and you'll understand your life in much more detail. Humans are hardwired the moment the sperm hits the egg...the rest is conditioning, programming, tribal expectations, fear, guilt and shame that keeps one in line with the group, religion or organization.

I also simply want people to think before they get hurt by those god-haunted types who run on emotion and the need to control. 

Sometimes we have to loose our minds to come to our senses. You can loose a lot of other things along the way when you do that, but being more authentic is well worth it. It's what ENFP's treasure almost above all other things.

Thanks for listening.....

UPDATED: GCI Purchases New HQ Building in Charlotte, North Carolina

See story here:  New Home Office purchased

Grace Communion International has purchased a building in Charlotte, North Carolina for their new HQ building.   Located close to the Charlotte-Douglas International Airport, it will allow easy access for ministers to fly in an out for conferences.

GCI purchased a building in Glendora , CA after selling the Pasadena campus and moved their HQ to 2011 E Financial Way.

The new facility in Charlotte offers them 27,000 sq. ft. of office space as well as a place to store the historical archives of the Radio/Worldwide Church of God/Ambassador College.

Loopnet had this:

Property Shark states that the current value of the property which includes the building and 45 acres of land to be worth around 2.3 million, though the source that sent this info says they paid close to $3,000,000.

More details here:  Property Shark

This is sure to be really irksome to the Loving Living Church of God that has its HQ in Charlotte also. Perhaps they can have a joint picnic soon. Both churches now have a membership size of around 7,000 or less, each

When one steps back and looks at all of this, it is actually a sad sight to behold    From a premier campus that was a showcase to the world, to HQ's in industrial parks, it is a sad conclusion to the COG empire. From 100,000+ members to hundreds and hundreds of splinter groups with 5,000-7,000 or less, it is a sad legacy to behold.  Some groups are more legalistic than Herbert Armstrong ever imagined, and other groups are freed from the shackles of legalism, yet in spite of all of this, the church continues to fracture and dissolve.  Eyes are now upon LCG to have issues once Rod Meredith dies and others are looking at another major split to happen in UCG as it inches closer and closer to abandoning the law and embracing grace.  While I have to see that one to believe it, many say it is in the works.  

Now we wait to see if Gerald Weston will take over a Welcome Basket when GCI officially moves in.  It is only a short trip up the road for a friendly visit to reminisce over old times!

By merely hearing my voice and being faithful to me, you too can escape!

Superfantabulous Dave has the power to save you!

We just had a family of five come with us from Sardis. It’s an interesting discussion—the promise God makes to Sardis. If people from the Sardis—a family of five this week…We’re still booming just like we were in November, by the way. No slow down, not at all…And I mean a family—wonderful—a husband, wife, three children; Church of God Seventh Day in a foreign country, came with us. You know what? If they stay faithful…This might be one of the first sermons they hear. I think they started this week…then they escape.

Warning to LCG, PCG, UCG, COGWA: Take heed! Your Friends Will Be Butchered Like Hogs

Why is it that so many of the COG leadership have to wallow in fear-mongering? Where would the church be without famine, disease, pestilence, war and death?  Where would Rod Meredith be without his jack-booted Germans hanging COG members on meat hooks as they are confined in concentration camps, or so starved from famine they eat their own children?

Herbert Armstrong set that narrative decades ago as a tool of control over the membership. It worked so well that millions of dollars poured in every time he wrote a member letter claiming intense punishment stopped come.

Dave Pack has been working over time doing this as he talks about his god slaughtering three COG leaders and about a young man arising in the church to become the man of sin who would then slaughter all the COG members in the various splinter groups that have jumped ship to join with Dave.  Right now Almost-arrested Thiel is the youngest splinter group leader out there.  Will he become the man of sin and slaughter COG members?

Here is why Dave says what he does in order to "wake up" COG members so that they can escape  Thiel's wrath:

That’s why, brethren, I tell you before God…You need to understand me when I say this. You want to DO what Christ said to escape. If there are people, who are among us, who don’t believe these plain verses, then God be with them, because they’re going into the fire, and maybe we’ll see them later when they gain some wisdom, fear of God, and faith that when Christ said something, He meant it. Nobody has to preach these things. Let me just stop for a moment. Close your Bible. Set your notes aside. I just want to say something.

I’ve been thinking about this ever since I discovered this. I take no pleasure or joy of any kind in having to announce these horrible, horrible things. I could wish somebody else did. I look into the camera so I can talk to all of you people around the world…They told me which camera to look in, because I wanted to do this. Actually, I have a place in my notes. I don’t want to forget to say what I couldn’t have forgotten. The most horrific trial in the history of the world—an unrestrained devil, with unlimited power, is coming for God’s people…He comes and sits in God’s Church and attacks them—and God put him here, as surely as He unleashed the devil against Job.

I hate to have to say this. I hate to have to tell some of you, your friends are going to be butchered like hogs, but they’ll come back up soon…very soon. That’s the good news. And we haven’t talked about exactly how they fit into the resurrection of the dead and it’s very exciting. I would like to comfort you with those words. But they will not come up in the reckoning; but they do come up into a special status.

This video will be available, so I’ll just tell those in the splinters…I’ll name them. If you’re in the Living Church of God, PCG, UCG, COGwa, and others—take heed. You’re being warned. Brethren of God, now you know why Paul DIDN’T STOP for three years—with tears, warned everyone day and night. You got a better picture of why? Be warned. This man you seek…Maybe you think I’m wrong or it’s a joke, or you don’t fear God or look at the Bible. If you’re in those groups or the little groups—he is coming for your throat! And unless you escape, he’s going to get there and he’s going to rip your carotid out as he tries to catch your jugular on the way out! That’s the way it’s going to be. If that makes me a cult leader, so be it. I believe God…I believe God. 

Even though the thousands of COG members who join up with Dave will almost immediately be slaughtered, then will arise again to work with Dave and his crew as they usher in the First Dominion where his "jesus" returns for the first 1,000 years, and then comes again for a second 1,000 years in the millennium that Herbert talked about.
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