Merry Christmas!!!!!!!

 

Beware of Nimrod's Testicles, Satan's Snake and Santa!

NOTE: It's that time of year again in Church of God land and the anti-Christmas crowd is spewing its hilarious venom.  Bob Thiel has doubled down on his yearly childish melt-down.

So, it's time for a rerun:

As Christmas approaches, the Armstrongism crowd is out in full force, frothing at the mouth and spewing their annual tirade about how utterly demonic the holiday is.

Classic Armstrongite rants are designed purely to belittle anyone who dares celebrate Christmas:

Christmas trees symbolize Nimrod sprouting from his grave:

Nimrod, the mighty hunter against God!!! (Because apparently he was the original rebel without a cause.) He married his own mother, got himself killed, and—poof!—an evergreen tree miraculously sprouted from his grave. 

Voilà, the world's first Christmas tree. How festive.

Got angels on your tree? Congratulations, you're dangling dead babies in honor of Nimrod!

Nimrod was depicted as a baby (naturally), alongside the pine tree representing his reborn self. Babies were allegedly burned alive as offerings to him. So those cute little angel ornaments? They're supposedly murdered infants. Charming.

Tinsel on the tree? Oh honey, you're literally draping Satan's snake all over it.

Those shiny strings of tinsel symbolize the serpent/Satan slithering around. (And knowing Armstrongites' bizarre obsession with sexual innuendo, I won't even speculate on what else that "snake" might imply. Use your imagination—it's probably worse.)

Hanging ball ornaments? Bold move—you're adorning your tree with Nimrod's testicles!

Legend has it Nimrod was chopped into pieces after death, and his... ahem... family jewels were never found. Hence, we hang balls on evergreens to commemorate the missing parts. (Nimrod must've had some seriously massive ones to inspire an entire global tradition.)

 Nimrod certainly had some big balls!

Dare to plop your kid on Santa's lap?

Back in the day, they supposedly fed babies into fires to celebrate Nimrod's birthday. Angels = dead babies, red suit = fire (obviously). So putting your child on a jolly fat man's lap in red is basically ritually passing them through the flames. 

And Santa? Just an anagram for Satan. Mind. Blown.

The hilarious irony? When these Armstrongites unleash this avalanche of unhinged nonsense, they somehow think it's "witnessing" for their god. Newsflash: it converts exactly zero people. It just repels everyone and makes them look like conspiracy theorists who flunked history class. They're not drawing anyone closer to Jesus Christ—they're just embarrassing themselves spectacularly.

But hey, maybe that's par for the course in Armstrongism? After all, who needs facts when you've got Nimrod's imaginary gonads to rally around? Merry Christmas, folks—may your trees be ball-free and your holidays blissfully snake-less.

Dave Pack Newsflash: The Kingdom Comes on December 29, 2025 (Tevet 10)

Newsflash: The Kingdom Comes on December 29, 2025 (Tevet 10)

David C. Pack of The Restored Church of God dropped December 5 and 19 like hot potatoes when he post-retroactively touted Tevet 10 as the real day that cannot tarry that he had been stewing on for a year.

During “The Greatest Untold Story! (Part 612)” on December 13, 2025, the Pastor General hinted that Tevet 10 had been on his mind for twelve months, but he uncharacteristically kept his mouth shut about it. The following week, during Part 613, he unleashed “only about half” of the proofs proving the Father will bring the Kingdom to Israel at sunset in Jerusalem on December 29, 2025.

The present truth of Tevet 10’s significance is so convincing that Dave held up three single-spaced legal-sized pages that contained over 100 proofs he did not have to the time to go through.

Part 612 – December 13, 2025
@ 13:46 And I'm really not gonna talk about it today. But I added and added and added to this list of things, single-spaced, things that related to this day. And it's almost infinitely more important than we ever realize. There's a there's 64 things on one page. Here's another 40-some and more. And I kept adding to it for now a year and three days. I waited to see if it would mature.

More like Dave waited to see his other doctrines fail due to the sheer pressure of time.

@ 14:21 So I'm today planting a seed. I hope it's THE seed of what might be. This year, Tevet 10 is December 29th.

December 29 is only a few days away, folks. Please plan accordingly.

@ 45:44 I've never heard anybody, for regardless of what Tevet 10 means …ever talk about a day that has a name that's to be engraved in our minds and is written five times in the Bible, and it's Tevet 10. Nobody. Took me a long time to figure out what I thought I was seeing.

Dave has not figured anything out. But that did not stop him from donning his Inspector Clouseau garb during Part 613 on December 20. His timidity was peppered throughout the two-hour message.

Part 613 – December 20, 2025
@ 01:02 My task is to be God's detective. His, well, shall we say, private investigator. And, I I think I've been trained enough by this time in such things to hopefully get it right.

David C. Pack is a blaspheming, hypocritical liar, false apostle, false teacher, and false prophet. He will never "get it right." That is, unless the coincidences keep stacking up.

@ 25:59 The month of Tevet began in Jerusalem at about 9:30 this morning. So, is it a coincidence that I'm talking about it right as we're coming into this date at the end of 614 sermons and ten years and three months length?

It is not a coincidence that he planned and prepared to speak about a date that was about to happen. This is not magic or a divine fiat. Dave made it happen.

Part 613 was a "greatest hits" of Dave's terrible traits: Pointless lists, non-coincidences, manufactured math, timid caveats carefully worded to avoid the responsibility of future failure, and putting the burden on the brethren to “prove” his nonsense.

The topper was his “my job” declaration, designed to remove accountability for when brethren have to avoid another round of New Year's Eve party invitations.

@ 1:39:37 My job is not to declare Tevet 10. My job is to declare the facts without bias. I've been wrong before. So if you if you're sitting out there, “Mr. Pack says Tevet 10,” well, you don't need to worry about it, because that's all you're counting on. You don't need to worry about salvation.

The most sinister part of Dave's tactic is the "If you don't believe me, you will not get salvation" play that he has used many times before.

@ 1:39:56 You’ve gotta you lock in. Now, if I'm wrong, then I'll come back [chuckles] and I'll tell you I'm wrong. There are other candidates out there beyond Tevet 10 that are that are, I'll I’ll just say, enticing.

Dave chuckled because he already knew he was wrong. But he is just playing the game. He sprinkled breadcrumbs for brethren who still bother to pay attention. The All-Believing Zealots ignore those flags.

I suspect the waffling wiggle room will fully manifest during Part 614 this Sabbath if there is not a preemptive, dream-crushing CAD email to soften the embarrassment of retiring all those single-spaced pages.

The last few sentences of his two-hour message had the intent of sounding confident, but screamed that Dave knew the brethren were not buying it.

@ 1:57:27 While you are probably certainly possibly totally convicted, consider one more time that you've heard a bit over half the case for Tevet 10. Some of the biggest and most powerful proofs of Tevet 10 I haven't even hinted at.

Please write in the comments if you have ever been “probably certainly possibly totally” about anything. Bonus points if it relates to a biblical doctrine.

With Tevet 10 looming on the horizon, here is one hilarious example of what passes for inspired, apostolic knowledge in The Restored Church of God.

@ 35:11 Now I want to take you to a certain formula. We're gonna put some verses together. I call it “A, You Know, It's Kinda in a in a Way, it's a Form of of Math, I Guess. Um. Is it Algebra?” You know, I've explained in the past, if A equals B and B equals C, then C equals A. A equals B and B equals C. They're the same thing. Then, C equals A. And you could keep going. If A equals B, B equals C, C equals D, D equals E, E equals F. Then, F equals A.

Prepare for nothing prophetic to happen on December 29 and for David C. Pack to dissolve that doctrine before the date comes. Tevet 10 will be his 138th failure since August 30, 2013.

Mark Cebrian

See: News Flash: The Kingdom Comes on December 29, 2025

A Timely Reminder for the Actual and Older Reason for the Season

 

" As Above So Below"     The Winter Solstice Sunrise  at Stonehenge Original View 4,400 Years Ago Yesterday December 21st, 2025   The December 22nd to Christmas Day Nightflix Story in Revelation of the Virgin Giving Birth to the Sun   For the next three days, (December 22nd to the 24th),  the Sun neither goes further South nor does it begin its journey back North. This first 1 degree North is Christmas Day. For now, it is three days "in the grave of the Solstice, which means "Sun Stand Still" The Sun begins its removing the Darkness of Winter (Sins of the world) at "about 30 " (Jesus began his ministry at "about 30)  degrees north, or one month later in January where Aquarius, The Water Man is the main constellation. This would be John the Baptist in the NightFlix Story. Virgo, The Virgin, gives birth to the Sun on December 25th. Ophiuchus stands between the Virgin and the Sun waiting with the Serpent (Dragon) to devour her child.  The Constellation Aquila, the Eagle, waits behind Ophiuchus and his Serpent waiting to take the Woman "to her place". ====================== The author of Revelation knew his yearly cycles and the constellations associated with them to tell his story. Sunrise this morning December 22, 2025 Virgo, the Virgin-upper right Ophiuchus, Serpens and the Serpent-Middle Aquila the Eagle-Lower left The Woman Giving Birth and the Serpent Revelation 12 12 And then a great wonder appeared in heaven: There was a woman who was clothed with the sun, and the moon was under her feet. She had a crown of twelve stars on her head. 2 She was pregnant and cried out with pain because she was about to give birth. NOTE: The author of Revelation must have written in the late Fall or near the Winter Solstice to tell his story in the night sky. The Moon must have been under the feet of the Constellation Virgo, The Virgin. "Clothed in the Sun" would be the rising Sun. 3 Then another wonder appeared in heaven: There was a giant red dragon there. The dragon had seven heads with a crown on each head. It also had ten horns. 4 Its tail swept a third of the stars out of the sky  (Ophiuchus plus the Constellation Serpens cover about 1/3 of the night sky) and threw them down to the earth. It stood in front of the woman who was ready to give birth to the baby. It wanted to eat the woman’s baby as soon as it was born. 5 The woman gave birth to a son, who would rule all the nations with an iron rod. And her child was taken up to God and to his throne. 6 The woman ran away into the desert to a place that God had prepared for her. There she would be taken care of for 1260 days. 13 The dragon saw that he had been thrown down to the earth. So he chased the woman who had given birth to the child. 14 But the woman was given the two wings of a great eagle. Then she could fly to the place that was prepared for her in the desert.