"And Yes Brethren...I am
that..."
Yesterday, Apostle Ron Weinland, with some
nervous tension, announced that , "yes brethren, I am the third type of the
Elijah to come." That was the last straw for me.
I have had to endure Gerald Flurry declaring
himself "that Prophet," and David C Pack, "And yes brethren, I am that
Apostle." Now I have to put up with Apostle Ronald Weinland declaring he
is the third type of an Elijah to come. He also made it clear he was the
final one. I guess Elijahs come in threes. I assure you they do not.
I'm going to be honest about this. I want
a title. My writings have brought me some derision where one called me
"The High Priest of Marduk." Now don't get me wrong. I haven't had a
title in a very long time and being the High Priest of Marduk is not bad
considering he was the chief Deity over Babylon and lived at the top of a
Ziggurat in Bagdad. But it is not enough for me.
Ron Weinland started his humble climb to stardom
with being content at being an Apostle. Then he switched to one of the Two
Witnesses with his wife being Witness Number Two. To date, these witnesses
have not wielded much power and have not impressed anyone with the word of their
mouths, but there may be time. Now Ron is declaring himself the Third
Elijah Type to Come. Great! All the good titles are fast being
consumed by the faithful ministry in him. Ron may, however, fall back to
Mr. or just plain Ron sometime in 2012.
Far as I know, Joe Tkach still goes by "Mr." so
I congratulate him for at least not becoming the Arch Angel Michael.
Dave began as "The Watcher," progressed (in his
fine mind) to "and yes brethren, i am an Apostle,' to darn near Prophet status
or something of late. I think he is basically out of titles and Ron has
usurped the last legitimate one from him. Nice work Ron!! I suppose
Dave could give a four hour sermon on "and yes brethren, i am the Fourth Type of
the Elijah to Come," but it doesn't have a good ring to it.
The only titles I find not used yet are, "Man of
sin," "false prophet," "who say they are apostles and are not,"
"Messiah," "scoffers," "King of Kings and Lord of Lords," and
"Family guy..."
Therefore, and I am going to forgo the four
hour sermon proving this and simply say, I am Jesus, no wait, I am God, and let
me see you beat that one!
As Supreme God I command you, Ron Weinland, to
step down as both Witness and Elijal type. I fire you. I did not call
you to that and you have been fibbing to the brethren. If I had appointed
you that, I am quite sure I would have remembered doing so. You're
fired.
This goes for you too David C Pack. You
were never a Watcher and certainly never an Apostle. Or if you were, you were in
your own mind and like Paul, announced it yourself 22 times out of the 24 times
Paul called himself one in the NT. Seems no one else is familiar with your
grand titles.
As for you Gerald, you are not this or
that or another prophet. You made that all up and I have not appointed
you. Again, I would have remembered that, and frankly I don't.
Now a word to you brethren who sit there
comatose and unable to speak up with that niggly voice in your head that tells
you, 'what! That's a bunch of shit if I ever heard it." Wake
up brethren. These men are fooling you and themselves. They are self
appointed, somewhat mentally unstable and while MAYBE sincere, not in touch with
me on these things. I know who I assign callings to, and none of these
guys are on the list. I am a bit disappointed at your lack of critical
thinking, but it is what it is. Save yourself however and question these
guys and pay attention to your doubts.
Frankly, ALL the prophecies of my son, Jesus'
return were for 2000 years ago. I know what "shortly" means and "the time
is hand" is all about. It was not code. I goofed. I sincerely
thought the night was far spent and the time was at hand. Shortly means
shortly and was not code for longly. I simply made a mistake. Or if
not a mistake, did not mean the return would be as you have thought. I
think I meant the Jewish faith would pass the baton to the Christian one. The
Fall of Jerusalem in 70 AD was kinda what i meant. Wasn't thinking much
past that and if you think 2000 years later is a good definition of "shortly",
well I can't help you.
At any rate, as God, I have to negate all your
titles as invalid and not of my choosing. I know that's a toughy for you,
but trust me, you'll thank me.
Ok, well that's about it from HQ here.
Nice Auditorium for me there Gerald, but I don't like living in Oklahoma so
won't be visiting there often if at all. Dave, are you nuts? Winter
in Ohio is brutal. I am a Middle Eastern kind of God so won't be living in
your House for God anytime soon. Ron, well what can I say. "When I was in
prison, you visited me," may be the best I can do. I wish you
well.
That's about it . Being God is not what
it's cracked up to be. You get credited with things you did not do or
cause and you get the blame for things you had nothing to do with. It's a
tough job, but I had to adopt a title you could not out do. Having done
so...I return the reader to the channel they were watching, and myself to just
being me.
Amen
Dennis C. Diehl
DenniscDiehl@aol.com
DenniscDiehl@aol.com
11 comments:
Dennis, I hate to say it, but it's been done: Herbert Armstrong was God as God is God. That being the case, I guess, since Herbert Armstrong is dead, you could say God is dead, but most people just don't get it!
If you were God for 20 minutes, you certainly made good use of the time, but, you know, you could have mentioned humility, though I think with these yahoos, it would be a lost cause because they don't understand such concepts.
The only thing lacking is to point out to them, rather forcefully, that they have the wrong gospel -- something Jesus never taught: The gospel of the Kingdom of God. The gospel is and always has been about redemption. The problem here is that these buckos probably still think they are on the right track because you didn't reveal to them the true gospel message.
Not to worry, though: They've gotten so much else wrong, that you would have come off to them as speaking in an extraterrestrial alien language, although just about anyone who can read and write (besides the Armstrongists) can really comprehend such a simple message.
See -- the Armstrongists can't even get the concept of "Thou shalt not steal" and if they can't get something that simple, it's clear that they won't understand something so easy like, "Thou shalt not bear false witness", let alone the very complex and sophisticated commandment about idolatry: Thou shalt not covet. They never have gotten that and they never will.
In fact, you might want to go and hide like Elijah did, now that you have verbally slain the 450 Armstrongist prophets of Baal. They probably don't understand "Thou shalt not kill", and to tell you the truth, you may have put us all at risk, even if what you said was 100% true.
Awww, hell, Dennis! You need a title.
How about "Genuine Human"? Says you're just an ordinary guy that knows some things, and not all - wants some things, but not all - is right about some things, but not all.
One thing I do know - none of those apostles, witnesses, presiding presiders, Elijahs, or falling down drunks are "genuine". By comparison it's a damn good compliment.
Hi Von...ahem...It's MR. Dennis to you! har har. Reminds me of the WCG switch over to calling ministers, Pastor Bob or Pastor Dennis. Ugh! Dennis would have been just fine. And...when you think about it, that's a name someone else gave me, so just who am I????? ha.
I have found that people who lean on the power of a title are generally insecure in themselves. I made a big mistake once in Manchester Kentucky at a party where a guy introduced himself proudly as the mayor of Manchester. (You get easily killed in Manchester and was where I had a deer rifle put to my head by a very angry woman who was just sure I was not going to baptize her husband!) Anyway, it came out, "never heard of you," before I could stop it. oops...ha.
The mayor of Somerset Ky once "bought" 5 cases of oranges from church. I went to collect and he hemmed and hawed around sending the message that I was expected to let it go and give them to him. I stood there until he paid...oops..ha.
I do believe Apostle Paul's great statement..."who they are makes no difference to me..." Great scripture. Or as my family member told Dave Pack when Dave expressed his disapproval of him being ordained a deacon after Dave left the area, "Well Dave, if I didn't believe you had shit for brains, I'd care what you thought." Priceless!!!
If you wish to make Mr. David C Pack upset, just call him Dave.
It's all quite silly
Should I be telling these family stories?????
"Ron may, however, fall back to Mr. or just plain Ron sometime in 2012."
Or he may descend to the title of "bitch boy."
One thing I do know - none of those apostles, witnesses, presiding presiders, Elijahs, or falling down drunks are "genuine".
Nonsense.
Most of them are genuine falling down drunks.
Well, let's see how these titles fly with the IRS. Seems like Weinerdude gets to be the first to put that one to the test.
BB
Hey! Let's have some fun with this! Remember Shirley Ellis's smash hit "The Name Game"?
Apostle postle bo bostle bananna fanna fo fossil, fee fi mo mostle!
Apostle!
Watcher watcher bo botcher bananna fanna fo fotcher, fee fi mo motcher! Watcher!
Elijah lijah bo bijah, bananna fanna fo fijah, fee fi mo mijah!Elijah!
If we had a karaoke recording of this song, sans vocals, we could probably have at least five minutes worth of fun with the ACOG usurpment titles alone!
BB
Maybe, Weinalnd will explain all this to the court at his upcoming trial, demonstrating he's not running a scam charitable organzation; perfect venue to get his ministry rolling.
Ah, I'll go with Sir Dennis if you don't mind. I left all that Mister stuff behind, and I'm not eager to re-engage. No disrespect meant to you, please understand.
Speaking of titles, in many countries I'd be called Architect VonHowitzer, just as MD's are called Doctor Smith here. Howsomever, in this country not only do I not get the honorific, I find that "my" title has been stolen, absconded, misused, and corrupted by a pack of computer geeks.
Ironically, these selfsame geeks can call themselves "architects" without shame or penalty, yet if I - possessor of an architectural education, had called myself an architect prior to passing the requisite exams (and paying the requisite fee) I could be brought up on charges of "holding oneself out" and fined vast sums of money.
I guess the geeks get away with it since they are all a bunch of Art Van Delays and everybody knows it.
And that's the thing about overblown titles - everybody pretty soon figures out what the truth is: some even have it presented forcefully to them as your family member did.
PS: I still like the story of the man who didn't have his local pastor approve his car purchase. When the pastor asked him about it, he was told that anyone driving a Chrysler didn't know much about cars anyways.
Sometimes the truth is a good kick in the ass, as all the presiding packed beer battered weiner dudes will discover.
BB Now you have given the COG Guru's an idea for more names! Nice going..ha.
If the first two letters are ever the same........ :)
Actually, "Man of Sin" is taken. Weinland has applied it to Joe Sr.
On further examination, I think it applies to Ronnie himself. And on further reflection, a few other CoG leaders as well.
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