Tuesday, December 25, 2018

Head of "God's" Church Announces Date of Second Coming

Where would the Church of God be without all of its looney prophets, apostles, Senior evangelists, Pastor Generals and Chief Overseers?  Just imagine how much more enjoyable and peaceful life would be for COG members to not have to listen to these guys!

Sadly, every once in a while, the public notices their lunacy and reports on them.  From far right conspiracy-laden radio stations interviewing Bob Theil as some kind of "spiritual" authority to screeching zealots pounding their computer keyboards in some dank apartment, the COG has produced an endless supply of mockable know-it-alls who claim they have the inside track to Gods innermost secrets.

This brings us to one of our favorite COG villain who carries the impressive distinction of being the first COG leader that is a convicted felon.

The Moscow based Sputnik International has a small article about felon Ron Weinland where they let the world know that an idiot Church of God leader has once again predicted the date of Christ's return.

The prophetic countdown is ticking, says the founder of the Church of God Preparing for the Kingdom of God, who is concurrently a self-appointed watchman for the second coming. Although the Bible does not provide an exact date for this event, he says that he has figured it out using clues in Scripture.
The write of the article notes that Weinland's previous predictions have all failed:

He believes that the second coming should coincide with the holiday of Pentecost, which falls on the 7th Sunday after Easter. He earlier predicted that Jesus Christ would return either on 27 May, 2012 or 19 May, 2013. However, there were no news reports of the second coming on either of those dates.
The next and far more meaningful 'count' and alignment for Christ's coming is on Pentecost, June 9th of 2019", says the unwavering Weinland, the author of apocalyptic books with self-explanatory titles, "The Prophesied End-Time" and "Prophesy Against the Nations".
He adds that Jesus will come again if WW3 erupts by February or March 2019; he says that there are high odds for a global conflict, given the tumultuous relations between the world leaders.  Head of 'God's Church' Announces Date for Jesus Christ's Second Coming
Never in the entire history of the modern-day version of the Church of God has any man, pretending to be a church leader, made an accurate prophecy or predicted anything truthful.

2019 will come and go as Ron Weinland and his loony wife, Second Witless Witness Laura will be predicting another future date because church members were NOT ready, forcing Jesus to remain in heaven for another year.  Jesus must really be tired of this by now.  He had such high hope for Weinland, but now has to look to Bob Thiel to spring open the gates of heaven so He can be released to destroy most of humanity.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

You would think these ministers, after one or two failed end time prophecies would just keep their mouths shut.

Anonymous said...

When a religious nutcase claims to have the exact date of the second advent, the thing to do is turn & run like hell away from that looney gooney!

Byker Bob said...

1:53, the problem is that these ministers have lost all sense of the process of embarrassment. Usually, when one becomes embarrassed, one learns not to repeat the embarrassing action. Even a dog knows this feeling, as anyone who has seen a dog bare his teeth in a grin and swing his butt around as he approaches can attest. Someone should teach these ministers "the embarrassed dog look".

BB

Anfin Thorstein said...

Giving the political climate, he may be correct in his guesstimate.

James said...

We crucified Jesus once, if he returns we will crucify him again.

Anonymous said...

Not this time. This time he gets to crucify you.

What About The Truth said...

Being that there is a Moscow based newspaper involved with this great prophetic event, there certainly has to be Russian influence. Yes, Russian influence in the date of Jesus Christ's return. Does anyone have Bob Mueller's phone number?

Unknown said...

Malm, Thiel , Weinland, Flurry, Pack etc. should all have policy as good as Amazon!

Complete satisfaction and performance, or Your money back guaranteed, no questions asked!

Unknown said...

Malm, Thiel , Weinland, Flurry, Pack etc. should all have policy as good as Amazon!

Complete satisfaction and performance, or Your money back guaranteed, no questions asked!

Anonymous said...

Hi all
This is Ron Weinland. You accuse me and my wife of being loonies. How can we be loonies if we are laughing all the way to the bank? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

administrator said...

I find it to be mind-boggling that these guys never want to pay attention to what scripture actually tells them. Jesus said neither himself, or any other man would know the time of his coming except for His father. How much clearer does that have to be? It shows you just what Satan can do with an ego.

Anonymous said...

Yawn

Anonymous said...

Web Administrator, you are misquoting Matthew 11:36. You should know very well that many ACOG bigwigs have used the words of Matthew 11:36 to support their speculations. It says that no man shall know the DAY or the HOUR of Christ's return. By extension, then, this means that man CAN know the YEAR or the WEEK of that return.

Anonymous said...

What ever happened to 3 1/2 years in the wilderness?