Exposing the underbelly of Armstrongism in all of its wacky glory! Nothing you read here is made up. What you read here is the up to date face of Herbert W Armstrong's legacy. It's the gritty and dirty behind the scenes look at Armstrongism as you have never seen it before!
With all the new crazy self-appointed Chief Overseers, Apostles, Prophets, Pharisees, legalists, and outright liars leading various Churches of God today, it is important to hold these agents of deception accountable.
Herbert Armstrong's Tangled Web of Corrupt Leaders
Gerald any day. His ramblings didn't need to make any sense but he was FAR more entertaining than "Now brethren...in the beginning there were two tress, two trees, two trees, two trees, two trees, two trees, two trees, two trees, two trees, two trees, two trees......"
Next to Mystery of the Ages, the Two Trees was the second biggest load of crap that Herbert tried to foster off on us. Total idiotic and without scriptural basis.
I guess I have a claim to fame. Sat through TWO of Waterhouse's mind-numbing talks BACK-TO-BACK while attending the Orlando group in the 80's. My ass is still sore, and btw, it was almost word for word.
Anonymous said... I guess I have a claim to fame. Sat through TWO of Waterhouse's mind-numbing talks BACK-TO-BACK while attending the Orlando group in the 80's. My ass is still sore, and btw, it was almost word for word."
I three timed it when pastoring London, Somerset, Ky and Middlesboro, Tenn. While not an option and considered a long term solution to a short term problem, jumping into the Cumberland seemed an option.
An edition of the Worldwide News had a large drawing with FOT-related humor. One part showed a man carrying a pillow, who was asked him if he was a newcomer and not accustomed to long sermons. No, he replied, he was an old-timer, and knew Waterhouse would be giving the sermon...
My mother hung on every word this guy said as if it were directly inspired by god. Waterhouse was a theological idiot and had no real training in theology or eschatology which led him to say the most incredibly stupid things over the decdes.
And now, for a limited time, Church of God MEMES presents "COG Christmas Songs you'll never hear in real life!" You'll hear great tunes like:
Here Comes Waterhouse We Three Evangelists Oh Little Town of Big Sandy Oh Come, All Ye Ushers Away In a G-II Little Garner Boy Have a Holly, Jolly Feast Time Happy Holy Days Un-Deck the Halls Herbert We Have Heard, Kids Cried We Need a Little Leavening Now The Sermon Cracker
Today, let's listen to a bit of We Three Evangelists!
We Three Evangelists of Worldwide Church Fare Rod, and Gerald, and Raymond McNair Three Suits Walking, Always Talking, One with sky-high Hair
Standing at the lectern with ease Hoping that none of them will sneeze Get the point, will God anoint, for hours one two and three,
oh, ohhhhhhh,
Oh your butts they get so sore How could you take any more Talking, yapping, flailing, sapping Waiting for sunset score
Edgar Allan Blow and SHT - Thank you for the good laugh!
My vote would be for the Waterhouse button. We learned useless things like "Did you know Waterhouse means 'Go water the house of God'?" I guess Waterhouse thought he was keeping "God's Church" hydrated.
I'll never forget being in a high balcony of a Chicago performing theater in the 70's, with about 1,500 members being screamed at for over 2 hours by "brown nose" Waterhouse. He talked to members like they were his misbehaving dogs, threading that we'd miss our flight to Petra on the 747's HWA was going to lease before tribulation hit if we didn't worship the Armstrongs. When he said if the the Armstrong's weren't the TWO WITNESSES, then the Bible wasn't true, I got up and walked out. He was a real toxic nut case who enjoyed abusing members and Armstrongs let him tour the world and all it golf courses, because he promoted the idolizing of HWA and GTA.
17 comments:
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I went to see Gerald Waterhouse
To learn a thing or two
But then I sat for three long hours
Until my butt was blue
Gerald said that Herb was like a phone
And God was on the line
And we should listen even though
The phone was old and blind
“Get with the program!” “Get the point?”
Gerald had a way with words
We could not see that what he said
Was often quite absurd
But now it’s been so many years
Since Gerald was in his prime
And, sad to say, it seems it all
Was just a waste of time
Gerald any day. His ramblings didn't need to make any sense but he was FAR more entertaining than "Now brethren...in the beginning there were two tress, two trees, two trees, two trees, two trees, two trees, two trees, two trees, two trees, two trees, two trees......"
Next to Mystery of the Ages, the Two Trees was the second biggest load of crap that Herbert tried to foster off on us. Total idiotic and without scriptural basis.
I guess I have a claim to fame. Sat through TWO of Waterhouse's mind-numbing talks BACK-TO-BACK while attending the Orlando group in the 80's. My ass is still sore, and btw, it was almost word for word.
Follow Jim Meredith's example and watch Hawaii Five-O and NCIS on the Sabbath instead.
There wasn't enough new or interesting content in Gerald Waterhouse's sermons.
He should have spent less time in gay bars, and more time reading.
Anonymous said...
I guess I have a claim to fame. Sat through TWO of Waterhouse's mind-numbing talks BACK-TO-BACK while attending the Orlando group in the 80's. My ass is still sore, and btw, it was almost word for word."
I three timed it when pastoring London, Somerset, Ky and Middlesboro, Tenn. While not an option and considered a long term solution to a short term problem, jumping into the Cumberland seemed an option.
An edition of the Worldwide News had a large drawing with FOT-related humor. One part showed a man carrying a pillow, who was asked him if he was a newcomer and not accustomed to long sermons. No, he replied, he was an old-timer, and knew Waterhouse would be giving the sermon...
My mother hung on every word this guy said as if it were directly inspired by god. Waterhouse was a theological idiot and had no real training in theology or eschatology which led him to say the most incredibly stupid things over the decdes.
*flips radio dial* *station comes in*
***
And now, for a limited time, Church of God MEMES presents "COG Christmas Songs you'll never hear in real life!" You'll hear great tunes like:
Here Comes Waterhouse
We Three Evangelists
Oh Little Town of Big Sandy
Oh Come, All Ye Ushers
Away In a G-II
Little Garner Boy
Have a Holly, Jolly Feast Time
Happy Holy Days
Un-Deck the Halls
Herbert We Have Heard, Kids Cried
We Need a Little Leavening Now
The Sermon Cracker
Today, let's listen to a bit of We Three Evangelists!
We Three Evangelists
of Worldwide Church Fare
Rod, and Gerald,
and Raymond McNair
Three Suits Walking,
Always Talking,
One with sky-high Hair
Standing at the lectern with ease
Hoping that none of them will sneeze
Get the point,
will God anoint,
for hours one two and three,
oh, ohhhhhhh,
Oh your butts they get so sore
How could you take any more
Talking, yapping, flailing, sapping
Waiting for sunset score
Edgar Allan Blow and SHT - Thank you for the good laugh!
My vote would be for the Waterhouse button. We learned useless things like "Did you know Waterhouse means 'Go water the house of God'?" I guess Waterhouse thought he was keeping "God's Church" hydrated.
Richard
Can anyone confirm what I heard the other day, that COGWA's "Friday Night Live" video Bible studies actually are taped in the middle of the week?
If they are, why doesn't COGWA change the name?
Waterhouse and his “lip galaxy”. LOL.
Hark! The Winter Weekend's here
Games and food and lots of beer!
Hotel full of lighted trees
But, "No, we do not worship these!"
Joyful ye teenagers rise
For a group of peers this size
With the superdeacon, say
"No, we don't keep Christmas Day!"
Can anyone confirm what I heard the other day, that COGWA's "Friday Night Live" video Bible studies actually are taped in the middle of the week?
If they are, why doesn't COGWA change the name?
What's to change? These are ACOG ministers we're talking about. They give commands to the brethren. "Live" isn't an adjective; it's a VERB!
I'll never forget being in a high balcony of a Chicago performing theater in the 70's, with about 1,500 members being screamed at for over 2 hours by "brown nose" Waterhouse. He talked to members like they were his misbehaving dogs, threading that we'd miss our flight to Petra on the 747's HWA was going to lease before tribulation hit if we didn't worship the Armstrongs. When he said if the the Armstrong's weren't the TWO WITNESSES, then the Bible wasn't true, I got up and walked out. He was a real toxic nut case who enjoyed abusing members and Armstrongs let him tour the world and all it golf courses, because he promoted the idolizing of HWA and GTA.
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