Sunday, April 23, 2023

Dave Pack Now Playing Ping-Pong With Himself

 

Ping-Pong

 

David C. Pack continues to deteriorate as each reinvention of his religious construct induces further delusions. Emboldened by the drowsy apathy of the brethren and the fatigued capitulation of the Headquarters hirelings, the Pastor General of The Restored Church of God operates unfettered as his deception tactics slide further into darkness.

 

The 1335 of Daniel 12:12 was reset after the February false start. Only those who read between the lines would notice.

 

The second Passover occurring on Iyar 15 was repeated, but Dave avoided reading the verses revealing it is on Iyar 14. Only those who read between the lines would notice.

 

The four-kingdom structure was resurrected through scattered comments and pointing. Only those who read between the lines AND watched the video would notice.

 

All the members of RCG who listened to “The Greatest Unending Story! (Part 436)” in their cars or while jogging missed the titanic shifts. They have yet to learn to keep their eyes on the hands of that pickpocket they foolishly trusted to make it plain.

 

Brethren of The Restored Church of God are forced to watch David C. Pack play Ping-Pong against himself. He is the Quicksilver of Bible prophecy stationed at both ends of the table, zipping back and forth as members tweak their necks, trying to follow the perpetual rebound.

 

With each hit from the right side of the table, members are compelled to fully agree.

 

With each hit from the left side of the table, members are compelled to fully agree.

 

Multiply that action by 436 for over seven years. Maybe folks are not surrendering their Common because they spend that money on chiropractors and Bengay.

 

 

We now return to our regularly scheduled format.

 

Part 436 – April 20, 2023

@ 00:02 This will be the single most important sermon I’ve ever given. You won’t doubt it. Or, if I lived twenty more years and we had to wait twenty more years that I ever could give.

 

David C. Pack only lives in the present. He forgets the past and disregards the consequences of the future. When he says things like this, at the moment, his self-fabricated reality allows him to believe it.

 

Part 275 – December 26, 2020

@ 08:53 It’s the single most important message (probably) ever delivered on Earth.

 

Part 254 – June 1, 2020

@ 32:48 This is the most spectacular thing anybody’s ever been allowed to explain.

 

Part 288 – February 24, 2021

@ 00:03 Well, today and tomorrow will come to the most important information I’ve ever given in my life.

 

Once we all pass the May 6 threshold and King Charles III is crowned, Part 436 will never be referred to as “the single most” anything ever again.

 

The RCG brethren are forced to watch a Ping-Pong match with which message is the most super-duper. This one. No, this one. This one. No, this one.

 

 

According to Elijah-Elect, there have been some staffing changes in the Man of Sin Department due to a stealth shuffle in the kingdom schedule.

 

Part 436 – April 20, 2023

@ 16:48 So this is a monster the likes of which the world has never seen. But, it cannot be Nebuchadnezzar.He’s a year later. It cannot be the Seventh Head. Or the Eighth Head, of course. It has to be somebody here.

 

Whether this is a promotion or demotion is yet unknown.

 

@ 24:22 So then, we’re waiting for Christ on the throne of His glory when He’s the Anointed One and in power, He takes out the Man of Sin. Who I do not believe is Judas anymore because he’s part of a system.

 

@ 24:40 He [Man of Sin] is not the Seventh Head and is not Nebuchadnezzar. If he’s Judas, it would be a great surprise. A great surprise.

 

There will be plenty of “great surprises” for David C. Pack when Jesus Christ returns to bring the Kingdom of God. That is not a room I would want to be in.

 

This remix of the Bible meanies points to David C. Pack owing Judas an apology if they ever meet.

 

@ 59:46 There’s a monster coming called an antichrist. He’s working against Christ’s purpose. And the antichrist would appear before Christ’s Kingdom, not after it.

 

The Man of Sin was revealed twice as Pope Francis by David C. Pack. But, then, the RCG stage was given to Balaam, Judas Iscariot, and Nebuchadnezzar.

 

The identity of the Man of Sin 2023 Edition was left TBD until Part 437. The Three Shepherds of Zechariah 11 will also be re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-explored. Again.

 

The RCG brethren are forced to watch a Ping-Pong match with the Man of Sin. It's this guy. Nope, this guy. It's this guy. Nope, this guy.

 

 

It is funny how the wackiest of Brain Babies in David C. Pack’s head will not pass through the birth canal. The oddest doctrines turn breech dragging out the labor of hearing them randomly throughout the Series.

 

Zechariah 8:23 is a prime example. Dave’s piss-poor reading comprehension conceives more wild private interpretation. Without consent, I might add.

 

These kinds of thoughts belong in David C. Pack’s Gallery of Stupid. He introduced the idea of only ten languages on Earth during the Kingdom of God in February. Like the theory of the Queen Elizabeth crown never being worn again, this ten languages bit was not previously covered.

 

Flashback Part 419 – February 14, 2023

@ 1:19:47 "Ten men shall take hold out of ALL languages of the nations, even shall take hold of the skirt of him that is a Jew, saying, we have heard we will go with you: for we’ve heard that God is with you.” That’s not the First Kingdom. They get the wrath to the end. There will be ten languages. All nations will break out to ten languages. If there’s some other meaning, I don’t know what it is.

 

The other meaning is: Ten men “out of all languages” is correct. “Mankind having only ten languages” is not. But, whatever.

 

@ 1:21:43 So, we’ve resolved the problem of languages. Everybody is bilingual. And all peoples on Earth are gonna keep ten languages. There're gonna be ten. Now, why would that be? Because God does not want everybody mixing together. He knows where that leads…People are not to intermarry. If they're stuck with a language, then they're gonna stay in one place…But I thought you would find that fascinating.

 

He blended this into the “pure language” of Zephaniah 3:9. There will ONLY be ten human languages alongside one pure language. Everyone will be bilingual. Get it?

 

Solomon said there is nothing new under the sun, but he never heard David C. Pack.

 

Part 436 – April 20, 2023

@ 43:38 There gonna be men of ten languages, and I don’t know how many races and ethnic groups will exist. This is gonna be a structured kingdom that goes on forever.

 

Is this Dave’s god’s version of ethnic cleansing? Dave ponders if some races and ethnic groups will cease to exist. Suggest to him Caucasians will be absorbed into others and watch him choke on his broccoli.

 

Does that mean a person goes to bed Tongan and wakes up Hispanic? Are all Filipinos turned Chinese the next time they look in the mirror? Do people of mixed race have to flip a coin and settle on one? How would that even work?

 

Who are the lucky non-whites who get to sit at the Whites Only table with Elijah after their change comes? Is there an organized lottery system, or is it impartial and random, like Thanos would suggest?

 

When all humans receive a spirit body, race and ethnicity will not matter. But in the flesh, it seems like a complicated matter for some people to switch racial teams. Is the current genetic makeup of the modern world "too complicated" to manage efficiently?

 

Even ancient Israel got to enjoy having twelve tribes.

 

Will your parents become a different race than you because they drew the short straw? “I’m black now, but my parents are both Asian. We’ll have to retake our K-Mart family portrait.”

 

I am not calling David C. Pack a racist. But race is on his mind. He thinks about it enough to keep mentioning it to the church. That is okay because David C. Pack’s Gallery of Stupid keeps growing.

 

 

David C. Pack cannot seem to avoid finding himself in the Bible. On an average day, I wonder how many personal conversations are invaded by that reminder.

 

@ 26:46  “…and the counsel of peace shall be between them both.” [Zechariah 6:13] Now, it’s written so that it’s either between God and Christ or between Christ and {I} Elijah. I think that’s the more obvious reason.

 

For the love of Pete. When the choice is between the Father and King David Passed Over, it is obvious to side with Team Dave? In his mind, he is the more likely candidate. That is humility in action.

 

I would not trust David C. Pack to counsel peace with someone torn between ordering wheat or rye toast.

 

The first time he misinterpreted 1 Samuel 2 as being about him, I had a pit in my stomach. I was quietly disgusted in the Main Hall at Headquarters. I was not yet ready to leave, so I kept my mouth shut.

 

And here we are years later. No one at Headquarters challenges Dave's claims, so it must be true until he determines it is not.

 

@ 46:40 “…on Hophni and Phinehas; in one day they shall die both of them…And I will raise me up a faithful priest, that shall do according to that which is in my heart and in my mind: and I will build him a sure house; and he shall walk before my anointed every day.”…So, this when {I} Elijah stands in front of Christ every day…“And it shall come to pass that everyone that is left in your house” (Eli) “shall come and crouch to him” (Why? Because they'll crouch to all of us, we're in the family of God. They're gonna bend over. They’re worshipping us.) “crouch to him for a piece of silver and a morsel of bread…”

 

He often lumps the brethren in, but that is not usually the primary focus. The idea of people bowing before Dave strains the integrity of his Depends. The thought of his critics being tossed into the Lake of Fire weakens his knees.

 

The realization that chapters 1 and 2 are setting up the introduction of, you know, Samuel is open to interpretation. The book is called Samuel. The book is about Samuel and his journey with Saul and King David.

 

But the faithful priest is Elijah-Elect David Crowl Pack. This is not based on Bible evidence but an old-fashioned "because I said so."

 

The RCG brethren are forced to watch a Ping-Pong match with where David C. Pack appears in the Bible. I’m here. I’m also here. I’m here. I’m also here. Just assume it’s me until I say it’s not.

 

 

Extreme Irony Alert

 

@ 50:16 “All power, signs, and lying wonders. All deceivableness of unrighteousness.” I can’t fathom what could take out people who may have served God ten, thirty, or fifty years of their life, and they’re gone in a few days. They can’t tell the difference between God’s truth and the deceit of this guy [Man of Sin]. Time comes when they'll heap to themselves teachers having itching ears, and it won’t end well for some of them.

 

God has a sense of humor and is a fan of irony. Words fall from David C. Pack's lips, and he has no idea what he is saying.

 

The Restored Church of God has heaped up one helluva teacher for themselves that entered in among them. The Headquarters enablers can be grouped into this because they support the biblical fraud through silence, spin, and feigned agreement.

 

The deceit of this guy is front and center. Documented and proven lies. Documented and proven blasphemy. Documented and proven manipulation.

 

And yet, the members cannot tell the difference between God’s truth and what David C. Pack teaches.

 

The RCG brethren are forced to watch a Ping-Pong match with the return of Jesus Christ. It’s Thanksgiving. No, it’s Christmas. It’s New Year’s. No, it’s Purim. It’s the Night To Be Much Observed. No, it’s the Third Day of Unleavened Bread. It’s the second Passover. No, it’s before May 5.

 

If folks are waiting for someone else to come along and stop the game, they will be waiting a long time.

 

 

 Marc Cebrian

See: Ping-Pong

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dave seems to get a kick out of making people look stupid.

Anonymous said...

Let's suppose Dave was right. Why the heck would God expect anyone to follow all that cryptic logic when they could be doing something more Christian and more useful like helping an old woman across the street?

DW said...

The blasphemy of this man disgusts me. He blasphemes God week in and week out, but the members stay put. He wrongly guesses the date for the return of Jesus, over and over again, but the members stay put. He has become the Ellen White of his day. Guessing the unknowable date wrong, more than once and then blaming God for it, but the members stay put.

William Miller has a hell of a lot of blood on his hands. At least he repented before he died. Dave never ever will because his pride has so blinded him, he can see nothing but himself, all over the bible. Gee, who else in Armstrongism might that describe? Could it possibly, maybe perhaps be a pattern? Error begets more error and arrogance has begotten more arrogance.

Oh, and Dave WILL meet up with Judas. He most certainly will.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps the funniest thing Marc has ever w!!

"Solomon said there is nothing new under the sun, but he never heard David C. Pack." LOL

Anonymous said...

On another thread, someone who had been with CGI gave us the 411 big time when he mentioned that many of their current members had come in as a result of CGI's broadcast and lit. Up until then, because of the static growth figures for all the ACOGs, I had assumed that the current splinter members were all the people who had missed out on the 1975 and 1995 apostasies. There were some that the poster was aware of them because he mentioned that everyone knew them as the old timers.

I never heard of any of the RCG ministers who are holding their noses and holding Dave's hands up, so I'm wondering if most RCG members were also never part of WCG. Anyone aware of any stats that would be enlightening?

Tonto said...

Dave needs to stop "Playing with Himself" for sure!

COG Critic said...

I made it through about three minutes of this one...

Anonymous said...

If I hadn't met Dave Pack at Amballador Cossege long long ago, and all I knew of him was what he is doing now, I would probably assume that he had been created by AI, and was a non-existent person such as Max Headroom. That's the only plausable explanation for his continued presence. But, the fact is that if he were AI-generated, he would be learning and self-correcting as he went along. Dave never does!

Sadly, he is real.