Week after week—bless their hearts—the boys in Charlotte grace us with yet another lovingly crafted admonishment. Because nothing says “spiritual nourishment” like being reminded that you’ve somehow managed to mess up yet another tiny, insignificant detail of Christian living. God forbid headquarters ever risk uttering a single encouraging word, like “Hey, you’re actually doing pretty well as Christians this week,” or—gasp—“grace is really flowing in your lives right now.” No, no, that would be far too dangerous. We might accidentally start thinking salvation has something to do with Christ’s finished work instead of getting the skirt length just so.
The list of offenses is truly impressive in its microscopic pettiness: bad attitudes (shocking), clothing styles and lengths that are apparently auditioning for the wrong century, the unforgivable sin of questioning a minister (how very Laodicean of you), and of course, the ever-popular crime of… baking unleavened bread incorrectly. Yes, friends, we have now reached peak oversight: policing the precise fluffiness of your Passover matzo.
The latest pearl of pastoral guidance arrives fresh from headquarters, dripping with that special blend of passive-aggressive concern and historical nostalgia:
Unleavened bread is part of the Passover service, but the Bible does not give us a specific recipe to use, stipulating only that it must be unleavened (Exodus 12:8; Matthew 26:26). Historically, the Church has used store-bought plain Matzos or homemade unleavened bread from a simple recipe from Mrs. Isabell Hoeh (wife of Dr. Herman Hoeh) in 1960. This recipe was likely handed down from an even earlier time. Since the breakup of the Worldwide Church of God, we have become a bit loose in what kind of homemade bread is used for the Passover, with some innovations to the historic recipe. Therefore, we have published ingredients and instructions in the Living Church News…
Translation for the spiritually dense among us: “Some of you degenerates have been adding flavor, texture, or—horror of horrors—egg whites. Your bread looked too nice. It rose a suspicious 1/100th of an inch. This cannot stand. We are now reissuing the One True 1960 Hoeh Family Matzo Decree so you stop thinking you’re allowed to be creative during the holiest season of the year. Buy plain Matzos if you can’t be trusted with flour and water. Allergies? We’ll condescend to address those… next week. You’re welcome.”
Because nothing symbolizes putting out sin, sincerity, and truth (1 Cor. 5:6–8) quite like making sure every single unleavened loaf achieves the exact same level of cardboard perfection, Isabell Hoeh intended back when bell-bottoms were still a future abomination.
At this point, one has to wonder: is there anything LCG members can do without headquarters swooping in to explain how they’ve subtly perverted God’s way? Breathe correctly? Smile with the approved level of joy? The bar is apparently set so low that even clearing it earns suspicion.
So keep baking, brethren—and sisters especially, since this seems to be a women’s-issue sin. Just remember: if your unleavened bread looks remotely edible, fluffy, or (heaven forbid) tasty, you’re probably drifting into the terrifying realm of “innovation.” Better to stick with the dusty, joyless original and avoid the wrath of the recipe police.
Greetings from Charlotte,Unleavened bread is part of the Passover service, but the Bible does not give us a specific recipe to use, stipulating only that it must be unleavened (Exodus 12:8; Matthew 26:26). Historically, the Church has used store-bought plain Matzos or homemade unleavened bread from a simple recipe from Mrs. Isabell Hoeh (wife of Dr. Herman Hoeh) in 1960. This recipe was likely handed down from an even earlier time. Since the breakup of the Worldwide Church of God, we have become a bit loose in what kind of homemade bread is used for the Passover, with some innovations to the historic recipe. Therefore, we have published ingredients and instructions in the Living Church News for unleavened bread to be used at the Passover service. It is the first recipe on page 17 of this year’s March-April issue, and it is labeled “Bread for Passover Service.” You may also purchase plain Matzos. I will address handling allergies for Passover in next week’s update.
22 comments:
Better check your dog food! There might be leavening in the fillers!
Some people complain endlessly about the supposedly horrendous evils of the WCG (worse than gitmo it seems), and have no balanced objective commentary.
Again: just throw out leaven(ed) on the first day. But they dunt know when the first day is and eat UB 8 days, not 7 days.
Thank goodness I don’t need to worry about this stupidity any more.
Since they aspire to be Old Covenant Christians, shouldn't they simply be reading up on how the Orthodox Jewish folk do it, as they rejoice, and love it?
Back in the day, as a high school student who could read, I always felt as if we did a horribly botched job of keeping the Levitical dietary laws as compared to what I read in the Bible. But, like everyone else, I simply did as "the Apostle" told us we should. Those were perplexing times, but, I took it seriously, even though I had to listen to my parents tell me such things as, "Do you realize, Bob, that if we lived during the time of Moses, we would be handing over a rebellious child such as yourself to the rabbis and priests, and they would be taking you outside the city to be stoned to death???"
But, then again, from a dimestore psychological perspective, it is entirely possible to present ice cream to a child in such a way as to make him hate it.
BB
You know I haven't celebrated DOULB in years. I did pick up matzos at Whole Foods though. I'm probably in a small minority that enjoyed them for that week out of the year. One of the best buttery delivery devices
So you say. That's only a 'stayed in WCG until '95' problem.
Who's believing the lies! The bread of sincerity and truth passing liars right on by.
Lol
There ya go! Bein' specific and all, 10:46. Kinda like Bob Thiel's prophecies. Could mean anything and anyone I guess. Useless fool!
The funny thing is , the original unleavened bread most likely had leavening agents in it. They ate unleavened bread because it did not have time to rise. That should set some ministerial heads to spinning.
So you shouldn't spruce up your unleavened bread, but apparently fancy hotels and resorts are OK for the Feast of Tabernacles.
Due to the haste and trauma of leaving Egypt the Hebrews bread did not have yeast or leavening agents in it. It had no time to ferment and was without yeast.
They were ordered by God to eat the Passover lamb with their sandals on and their full outdoor clothes belts on and in haste.
They had to bake their unfermented bread on hot stones in the sun. It is not called the bread of affliction for nothing.
It's worse than that, 11:51AM... if you stay in a proper home-made Sukkot booth, the ACOGs condemn you for Judaizing (though you're actually just following the Bible's example and precedent). But if you spruce up your unleavened bread they condemn you for NOT sufficiently Judaizing.
Does that mean we're supposed to wear sandals throughout the days of Unleavened Bread, and to eat the unlesvened bread hastily, not properly chewing each bite 40 times? Please help! I've been told that Philadelphians are supposed to be as obsessive compulsive as they can possibly be!
They were ordered by God to eat the Passover lamb with their sandals on
And yet, if you dared to show up wearing sandals at an ACOG Passover or Night To Be Much Observed, they would throw you right out!
If you love Mexican food, the DOUB are no problem. Tortillas are flatter than Matzohs, and you can wrap them around nutritious ingredients, dip chips made from them into luscious salsa and wash them down with your cerveza, even create bowls out of them for salads. Who even needs bread?
BB 811 says, "since they aspire to be old covenant Christians . . ."
Bob, this is not a knock on you, but you do make a valid point I would like to enhance.
The component that made the OC fail was not the law of God, but the status/standing of the people. As carnal, flesh motivated human beings, all they could offer was bootstrap obedience, no more, no less. History reveals this fact many times over. You have stated in times past that you grew up with Jewish friends and was somewhat familiar with their religious heritage. I remember years ago reading an article in the newspaper on how a certain sect of the Jews (not sure which) kept the sabbath. On Friday night, they would cut their tolit paper into single pieces so they could avoid that particular work when Sabbath arrived. That is clearly fanatical bootstrap obedience at its best and is described in Romans 9:30-10:3. Armstrongism wasn't ? quite that bad but having lived through it we both know their silliness wasn't too far off. As you say, in that regard, they were clearly miserable "old covenant Christians".
As NC Christians, motivated by the spirit and not the flesh, we can experience " delight " in the law of God (Romans 7:22) and fulfill its righteous requirements through the spirit of God (Romans 8:1-4, 13:8-10). Armstrongism as a whole was never able to grasp this fundamental truth. Yes, they could make ice cream taste like dog shit, and were quite proud of it!
HA! I never considered that. They had their dough but had to eat it quickly, so they baked it before it had risen, hence, the unleavened (unrisen) bread. I have known that people confuse leavening agents with leavened bread, but had never put 2 and 2 together to realize that they used their regular dough, but before it had risen.
I agree with your statements, BP8, more than you might imagine, but am led in perhaps a slightly different direction. I have a long explanation involving the covenants in force prior to Sinai, a statement by Paul, Noahide Law and its universality which was intended to go beyond just the Jews, a covenant involving micro supervision appropriate to a certain point in the progress of mankind, the edict James provided following the meeting by what is known today as the first Jerusalem Council, and a covenant which expands in an appropriate manner to complement the state of development of mankind extending from the turning point in history to today. It's long, is the byproduct of years of study, but I just don't have time to do it all justice in writing it up at this time. It'll keep for later and is extremely interesting. Very little of our research changes anybody's mind anyway, because to some, we are competing with an alleged "Apostle".
Until later,
BB
"It had no time to ferment and was without yeast. "
IF it was without yeast the "no time to ferment" would be meaningless. Time is not a factor in dough with no leavening agent in it.
I'm 2.00 and i wrote 'no time to ferment' with hindsight that was wrong and i dont know why i wrote it. I'm sorry.
The Israelites took out bread without yeast because they had no time to add it.
Exodus 12:39 makes it clear the bread had no yeast. In all different bible translations Exodus 12:39 says without yeast, no leaven, not leavened, For it had no yeast, not became leavened, since it had no yeast and bread dough made without yeast.
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