CIA Murders, Defamation, Conspiracies, Jerusalem, Petra and More!

Oh, dear Great Bwana Bob Thiel, how the mighty have fallen—or rather, how they've been quietly sidelined to a sad little strip-mall existence in Grover Beach. Poor thing, you used to dominate the COG gossip cycle with your endless "news" updates and self-proclaimed prophetic insights, but lately? Crickets. You've been utterly usurped by the new reigning champion of unhinged Armstrongism: Samuel Kitchen, the self-appointed guardian of the "true" Worldwide Church of God.

Yes, while you're stuck rattling around in your itty-bitty dingy storefront, dreaming of African followers and radio spots, Samuel has boldly stepped up to claim the crown for sheer batshit craziness in today's fractured Armstrong world. UCG and COGWA love to pat themselves on the back as the "normal" ones—the sane, buttoned-up alternatives to the wilder outfits like Dave Pack's apocalyptic cash-grab or Gerald Flurry's mini-Pasadena cult compound. But let's be real: they're all cut from the same threadbare Herbert W. Armstrong cloth. Same doctrines, same authoritarian vibes, same endless splintering. Samuel's little reincarnated "mess" is just the latest flavor of the same old delusion, proving yet again that Armstrongism doesn't mellow with age—it just gets whackier, more paranoid, and more entertainingly detached from reality.

And oh boy, when you dive into Samuel's latest manifesto, the red flags start waving like they're at a parade. This guy isn't just quirky; something is profoundly not right here. He presents as this friendly, likable fellow—smiling in videos, posting songs, visiting "brethren" around the globe—but peel back that thin veneer, and there's a darker current swirling underneath: wild claims of CIA-orchestrated family murders to suppress his unincorporated "spiritual organism," complete with warnings from shadowy operatives, trademark battles in Tennessee, and a divine mandate to flee to Petra (oops, Jerusalem—wait, Petra again—wait, Philadelphia PA—wait, back to Jerusalem for a month-long vacay in 2025).

Apparently, his grandmother, mother, and father were all "murdered" in some grand conspiracy to kill off the real WCG before someone could snatch the name. But fear not—the Church persists because Matthew 16:18! And now, more "brethren" are standing up worldwide, proving this unincorporated ghost is alive and well. The solution? Naturally, rally the troops to buy back the Ambassador Auditorium (and maybe some adjacent buildings) to "restore" the Church, the ministry, and give God's name glory. Because nothing says "spiritual organism" like crowdfunding a multimillion-dollar concert hall from a group that currently operates it.

Look, if you're reading this and thinking, "Hey, maybe I should send Samuel some money to reclaim that shiny Pasadena relic," please have your head examined immediately. This is peak Armstrongism: mix equal parts narcissism, zero self-awareness, manipulative guilt-tripping ("You're lying, defaming, slandering the Church of the Living God! Repent!"), and a complete disregard for how trademarks, reality, or basic human empathy actually work. Calling the old WCG a "corporate entity" is apparently bearing false witness now, even though it literally was one before the big doctrinal meltdown.

So here's the sarcastic toast to the new front-runner: Congratulations, Samuel Kitchen—you've out-crazied the field. While Bwana Bob fades into obscurity with his end-time weather reports, you've elevated the game to full-on conspiracy-theorist opera. Keep those feast-site selfies coming from Petra/Jerusalem/wherever the spirit leads next. The rest of us will just sit back with popcorn, watching the "one true Church" restore itself one delusional fundraising plea at a time.

And to everyone else in COG-land: Maybe—just maybe—step back and ask if this endless parade of "true" churches, murdered-family backstories, and real-estate fantasies is really what God had in mind. Or if it's just more proof that when narcissism, lack of empathy, and manipulative personalities take the helm, you get exactly what we're seeing: shining examples of mental illness masquerading as divine restoration.

Copied, unedited.

There is a current problem with disgracing the Worldwide Church of God among these cog groups. 

 

Many times a minister will say “The Worldwide Church of God is dead”, or “it was destroyed”. 

 

They MISS-Classify “the Worldwide Church of God” as a corporate entity. It isnt. And some research into what Herbert W Armstrong taught can prove that. It is actually a spiritual organism! 

 

But the misinformation said about this Church, is a regular defamation, of the character of the Unincorporated Association called the Worldwide Church of God. 

 

When my family stood up as the Worldwide Church of God, we showed and provide sufficient evidence that an association was alive, and we were unincorporated. 

 

Then other brethren saw us, and they too stood up, showing future evidence of this unincorporated spiritual organism. 

 

My personal family, was struck by an attack, that killed the older members. My grandmother was murdered. My mother and the father was murdered. 

 

Now, all evidence says the CIA did it. 

 

One of their operatives prior to all of this happening, came up to my dad and warned him of what was coming down the pipeline. As far as I know, there is no need to question his warning, because it  

came to be. Three members of my family were murdered. 

 

I personally believe it was done with the intention of destroying the unincorporated association of the Worldwide Church of God. Because as we were beig hit, a man was filing in Tennessee a new trademark on the name! However his new trademark is not valid. The original usage is still alive. So it cannot conquer it while the original usage is alive. 

 

But the Chuch persisted, according to Matthew 16:18. 

 

And if we gave up because of the killing of my family, there were people primed to take it. 

 

Now, more brethren are standing up around the world! Proving sufficient evidence of an unincorporated association. 

 

That is why my declaration in 2022, is so important. I announced the Worldwide Church of God was assembling in Jerusalem to keep the Feasts of the Lord! We did keep the feasts but in PETRA! 

 

We didn’t realize we had gathered ourselves to flee out from Jerusalem.

Jeremiah 6:1 

 

“O ye children of Benjamin, gather yourselves to flee out of the midst of Jerusalem”

And so the next year 2023, I went to Philadelphia PA, for the feast and the new website was developed to showcase this unincorporated spiritual organism! 

 

In 2024, I went back to Petra! And brethren was coming together around the world. 

 

In 2025, We assembled in Jerusalem again. Staying an entire month there. 

 

And so my point is, many are disgracing the Worldwide Church of God, by defamation, slander and libel. 

 

This act of calling the Worldwide Church of God a corporate entity, when it is not, is bearing false witness. Telling a lie. 

 

God’s Church does not lie. But by standing up and being the Worldwide Church of God, we are standing up as a witness. 

 

We are the same Worldwide Church of God. And now we are looking to gain the Ambassador Auditorium, and according to some other houses and buildings next to it. We are looking to restore this Church, and to restore the ministry, and give God’s name GLORY! 

 

Be not one of those who want to disgrace the Worldwide Church of God! 

 

You are lying, defaming, slandering the Church of the Living God! 

 

Repent. And believe God!"