Bob Thiel’s Latest Epistle: “I’m Just Like Herbert Armstrong, Only More Butthurt and Holier”
In what can only be described as the theological equivalent of a jilted ex writing a 47-page Facebook rant at 2 a.m., Crackpot Bob Thiel has once again graced the internet with his favorite genre: Me vs. Everyone Else, But Mostly Rod Meredith and all COG that reject me. Fresh off yet another round of self-comparison to Herbert W. Armstrong justifying his split from COG7, Crackpot Bob is still nursing the mother of all grudges because the big boys in the Church of God scene looked at his résumé, his dreams, his prophetic timeline, and said, “Nah.”
For those keeping score at home over his lack of ordination, the Worldwide Church of God said no. The Global Church of God said no. The Living Church of God said double no. At this point, Bob has been rejected as many times as Peter rejected Jesus. But instead of taking the hint, he’s decided the problem isn’t his theology, his narcissistic personality, or his endless nitpicking—it’s that they lack integrity.
LCG had the audacity not to rewrite their Official Statement of Beliefs exactly the way Crackpot Bob told them to in December 2011. They also failed to update their history booklet to his exact specifications. The horror. The absolute scandal. One can only imagine the emergency evangelist meetings where grown men sat around saying, “Quick, we must appease the man who keeps emailing us corrections!”
Crackpot Bob solemnly informs us that Dr. Meredith, Richard Ames, and Dr. Doug Winnail agreed with him in private about prophetic errors. Of course they did, Bob. That’s why they immediately changed everything and made you their top guy, right? Oh wait—no, they didn’t. They kept right on teaching what they taught while Crackpot Bob seethed in the corner, furiously updating his website with more red-underline “errors” than a Soviet editor. Oh, and don't forget that unverifiable double-blessing by Gaylyn Bonjoir that no one ever witnessed.
The pinnacle of this saga is Bob’s declaration that his reasons for leaving LCG were “actually much more compelling” than Herbert Armstrong’s reasons for leaving the old Church of God (Seventh Day). Let that marinate. The man who was never ordained by any of the major groups, whose “double portion of God’s Holy Spirit” claim raises more eyebrows than a COG leader's jet purchase, is now positioning himself as the truer successor to Armstrong.
It’s like showing up to a family reunion, announcing you’re the rightful heir because Uncle Herb once nodded at you, then storming off to start your own splinter group when nobody crowns you king. “They wouldn’t ordain me? Fine. I’ll ordain myself via a dream, some YouTube videos, and those adulterous leaders in Africa. Take that, you Laodiceans!”
Bob’s entire brand is now built on three pillars:
If Crackpot Bob's credentials were as obvious and God-ordained as he claims, he wouldn’t need to write endless articles proving it by dragging LCG and Rod Meredith’s corpse through the mud years later. Legitimate leaders don’t spend this much time explaining why the groups that rejected them are doomed for not recognizing their greatness. They just lead.
Instead, we get this endless saga of perceived slights, unheeded corrections, and prophetic score-settling. It’s less “continuation of the Philadelphia era” and more “man still mad he didn’t get the promotion.”
At this point, the most compelling evidence that Crackpot Bob isn’t a legitimate COG leader is… Crackpot Bob himself. Keep writing those articles, Bob. The rest of us are enjoying the show.
In what can only be described as the theological equivalent of a jilted ex writing a 47-page Facebook rant at 2 a.m., Crackpot Bob Thiel has once again graced the internet with his favorite genre: Me vs. Everyone Else, But Mostly Rod Meredith and all COG that reject me. Fresh off yet another round of self-comparison to Herbert W. Armstrong justifying his split from COG7, Crackpot Bob is still nursing the mother of all grudges because the big boys in the Church of God scene looked at his résumé, his dreams, his prophetic timeline, and said, “Nah.”
For those keeping score at home over his lack of ordination, the Worldwide Church of God said no. The Global Church of God said no. The Living Church of God said double no. At this point, Bob has been rejected as many times as Peter rejected Jesus. But instead of taking the hint, he’s decided the problem isn’t his theology, his narcissistic personality, or his endless nitpicking—it’s that they lack integrity.
LCG had the audacity not to rewrite their Official Statement of Beliefs exactly the way Crackpot Bob told them to in December 2011. They also failed to update their history booklet to his exact specifications. The horror. The absolute scandal. One can only imagine the emergency evangelist meetings where grown men sat around saying, “Quick, we must appease the man who keeps emailing us corrections!”
Crackpot Bob solemnly informs us that Dr. Meredith, Richard Ames, and Dr. Doug Winnail agreed with him in private about prophetic errors. Of course they did, Bob. That’s why they immediately changed everything and made you their top guy, right? Oh wait—no, they didn’t. They kept right on teaching what they taught while Crackpot Bob seethed in the corner, furiously updating his website with more red-underline “errors” than a Soviet editor. Oh, and don't forget that unverifiable double-blessing by Gaylyn Bonjoir that no one ever witnessed.
The pinnacle of this saga is Bob’s declaration that his reasons for leaving LCG were “actually much more compelling” than Herbert Armstrong’s reasons for leaving the old Church of God (Seventh Day). Let that marinate. The man who was never ordained by any of the major groups, whose “double portion of God’s Holy Spirit” claim raises more eyebrows than a COG leader's jet purchase, is now positioning himself as the truer successor to Armstrong.
It’s like showing up to a family reunion, announcing you’re the rightful heir because Uncle Herb once nodded at you, then storming off to start your own splinter group when nobody crowns you king. “They wouldn’t ordain me? Fine. I’ll ordain myself via a dream, some YouTube videos, and those adulterous leaders in Africa. Take that, you Laodiceans!”
Bob’s entire brand is now built on three pillars:
- “They didn’t listen to me.”
- “I was right about everything and they knew it.”
- “Sardis! Laodicea! Falling away! Read my books!”
If Crackpot Bob's credentials were as obvious and God-ordained as he claims, he wouldn’t need to write endless articles proving it by dragging LCG and Rod Meredith’s corpse through the mud years later. Legitimate leaders don’t spend this much time explaining why the groups that rejected them are doomed for not recognizing their greatness. They just lead.
Instead, we get this endless saga of perceived slights, unheeded corrections, and prophetic score-settling. It’s less “continuation of the Philadelphia era” and more “man still mad he didn’t get the promotion.”
At this point, the most compelling evidence that Crackpot Bob isn’t a legitimate COG leader is… Crackpot Bob himself. Keep writing those articles, Bob. The rest of us are enjoying the show.
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