Ronald Weinland is living proof that in the wacky world of Armstrongism, you can be spectacularly wrong about everything, live like a mini-tycoon on other people’s tithes, go to prison, call yourself a prophet, and still lead a Church of God. This guy didn’t just fail — he failed with Olympic-level commitment.
Born in 1949, Weinland slurped up Herbert W. Armstrong’s doomsday stew in 1969, became a WCG minister, then bailed when the main church started acting less culty. He bounced to the United Church of God before launching his own little kingdom in 1998: the Church of God – Preparing for the Kingdom of God (COG-PKG). Because nothing says “God’s true remnant” like starting yet another tiny splinter group with you at the top.
The Two Witnesses: Him and His Wife (Obviously)
In his 2006 masterpiece 2008 – God’s Final Witness, Weinland declared that he and his wife Laura were the Two Witnesses of Revelation 11. You know, the super-powered prophets who breathe fire, kill enemies, die in Jerusalem, and resurrect after three and a half days. Laura got the fancy title of “prophetess.” In practice, she was mostly the “quietly standing there prophetess.” How convenient.
Nepotism? What Nepotism?
Weinland turned the church into a full-blown family jobs program. In 2010 he ordained a bunch of new elders, including his daughter Audra (church bookkeeper) and his then-24-year-old son Jeremy. Nothing suspicious about putting your kids on the payroll and controlling the financial spreadsheets, while telling followers the world is ending and they should send more money. Totally normal Church of God prophet behavior.
Diamond Rings and the Lavish Lifestyle
While screaming that the world was about to collapse, Ron and Laura were out buying diamond rings like it was Black Friday at Jareds. Court records showed multiple jewelry shopping sprees with Audra in tow. Supposedly, when the economy crashed and money was not worth anything, they could use these diamonds to bribe their way into Jerusalem and elsewhere. Church money paid for a big house, endless travel, and security systems. But sure, brethren, keep those tithes coming so the Two Witnesses can rock some serious bling.
The Ideacity Debacle (Among Many)
In the glittering world of big ideas and TED-style enlightenment, few spectacles could match the glorious mismatch of 2009’s Ideacity conference. There, amid visionaries and futurists, strode Ronald Weinland—a self-anointed apostle, prophet, and one-half of the biblical Two Witnesses. Fresh from publishing books that promised the global economy would crumble in 2008 and that nuclear trumpets would soon herald the end of days, Weinland took the stage like a man confidently selling beachfront property in the Book of Revelation. With a straight face and zero hint of irony, he laid out his timeline for humanity’s fiery finale, apparently unaware that some of his boldest 2008 predictions had already quietly face-planted.
The audience, expecting provocative thought experiments rather than doomsday fan fiction, reacted with the polite Canadian version of stunned silence mixed with muffled snickering. Weinland’s big moment as the internet’s favorite end-times evangelist didn’t exactly set the room on fire—unless you counted the slow burn of secondhand embarrassment. Reports suggest the prophet was so unimpressed by the comedian who followed him that he made an early exit, perhaps to go recalculate his next revised date for Christ’s return. In the end, Ideacity didn’t launch Weinland to prophetic stardom. Instead, it became a punchline for critics: proof that even in the marketplace of ideas, some stalls sell nothing but expired prophecies. And yet, true to form, Weinland’s small band of believers kept the faith, demonstrating once again that cognitive dissonance is one hell of a resilient spiritual gift.
Failed Prophecies
Weinland’s prophecy batting average is a perfect 0.000:
- April 17, 2008: Two Witnesses ministry begins. First trumpet sounds. Cities get nuked. (Crickets.)
- June 2008: If nothing happens by Pentecost, he’s a false prophet. (Spoiler: nothing happened.)
- December 14, 2008: Okay, now the first trumpet starts (spiritually, of course).
- September 29, 2011: Jesus returns!
- May 27, 2012: No, wait — Jesus returns now!
- May 2013: Final final date. Or maybe it’s a “thousand years is a day” thing. Just keep waiting, guys.
Classic. Ron must have taught Bob Thiel how to be a prophet.
First COG Felon Leader: Tax Evasion Edition (Now With Extra Irony)
This part is pure gold. While breathlessly warning the world about nuclear fire, divine wrath, and the total collapse of civilization, Weinland was secretly squirreling away $4.4 million in unreported church income — including cozy little Swiss bank accounts. Apparently, the Two Witnesses needed offshore tax havens to survive the end times.
In 2012, a federal jury took a leisurely but prophetic 3 1/2 hours to see through the nonsense and convict him on five counts of tax evasion. Boom — 42 months in federal prison, a nice fat fine (a deliberate prophetic sentence by the judge of 3 1/2 years), and over $245,000 in restitution. Mr. “I’m God’s Prophet” had to self-surrender to Terre Haute Federal Correctional Institution in 2013 like a common grifter.
Congratulations, Ron. You did it. You became the first major Church of God splinter-group leader in history to serve time as a convicted felon. In a movement already overflowing with kooks, failed prophets, and con artists, you managed to hit a new low. Truly, the Mount Everest of embarrassing legacies. While your followers were selling their stuff and waiting for the apocalypse, you were playing “hide the tithe money” like a budget-level televangelist who got caught.
The Real Danger: Why This Fraud Is Poison to Real Christians
Here’s the blunt truth: Ronald Weinland is a straight-up spiritual predator who endangers real Christians by dragging them into a toxic cult of personality built on lies. He steals their money, wastes their lives on endless false deadlines, and isolates them from actual biblical Christianity while he and his family live high on the hog. Every failed prophecy doesn’t just embarrass him — it crushes sincere believers, leaves families broke and broken, and mocks the genuine hope of Christ’s return. This convicted felon isn’t “preparing for the Kingdom of God.” He’s building a personal piggy bank and calling it prophecy. Real Christians don’t follow ex-cons who can’t get a single date right. They follow Jesus. Weinland is Exhibit A of why the Bible warns about false prophets: stay far away, or you’ll lose your faith, your finances, and your future to a grifter who already proved he belongs behind bars, not behind a pulpit.
Silent Pilgrim
11 comments:
SP……..’straight up spiritual predator’, you got that right. And a financial predator as well. All cut from the same cloth of Armstrongism. This movement has birthed some real lunacy masquerading as ‘the Truth’ and the one true church. That they are all going nowhere is testament to their emptiness, falsehood and lies and the theological wilderness they inhabit.
Tithe fraud is worse than tax evasion.
But the sad part is that many of the victims of these fraudsters aren't Snow White themselves. They've defaulted on their spiritual responsibilies such as bible study, and have sub contracted them out to these crooks.
perhaps to go recalculate his next revised date for Christ’s return
recalculating route - recalculating - 'greetings friends from around the world' - as another torrent of lies spewed forth from the Bert and his latter minions:
Self‑promotion; greed; control; using people instead of serving them; seeking followers for themselves - are the motives Jesus gave His followers when warning about false shepherds, and describing who are the good shepherds.
A wolf can say “Greetings, friends” but he cannot produce the fruit of a shepherd..
Is Weinland still even alive and active? All of the old "Weinland Watch" sites dried up years ago. There's been a complete blackout of any news on his little cult, his cast of characters, or the blogging communities that sprung up while his daily outrages were still taking place. No matter, cause now we've got a president who acts like an ACOG leader to amuse us, but..........
There should be a contest of all the ACoG leaders-most arrogant & self exalting. My vote goes to King Gerald
I was there in mid-1990s.
Somewhere in like 1996-97, the Toledo congregation of the UCG decided to split away from UCG. Not surprisingly because Weinland pressed the idea that the UCG was mishandling money. (Oh, the irony!) It wasn't but a year or so until he tried to take over. He wanted to control the growing pot of church corporation money. In late 1998, he tried to remove everyone in the church corporation who he thought would vote against him having full control. He kicked out half the congregation and all the Elders but one (Terry). How he went about it was, he had everyone take a survey regarding how they felt towards him as the leader in God's top-down government. He had pre-printed "you are no longer a member in good standing" letters for everyone he thought might disagree with him. Branding them as members not in good standing would remove their vote but allow him to say, "But I didn't kick them out!" He only formally kicked out the Elders. But we all knew it really meant he was kicking everyone out. He handed the pre-printed letters out to people who he thought would fail the survey ...but he didn't read all of the surveys first. Some people passed his survey but still got a pre-printed letter. He had to contact them and apologize for the confusion. The group was eventually renamed to COG-PKG.
Everyone who was kicked out met the next Saturday at one guy's house and they discussed a plan going forward. Everyone agreed to lawyer up and fight Weinland in court because this was clearly underhanded. It was settled out of court. Weinland got the corporation and some of the money but lost most of the church equipment. This group formed the COG-Toledo.
Let me tell you how uncomfortable it was when just a couple weeks after the big survey debacle we all had to get together for a wedding. Everyone showed up because whadda ya gonna do. But the two groups sat away from one another, and you could cut the tension with a knife.
Looks like Weinland did the equivalent of a "divorce." The woman gets at least half the mans wealth plus so called " child support," which is in reality a living wage. And not forgetting alimony for being a stay at home mum rather than climbing the corporate ladder. Err, since when does nature pay a person for their potential rather than their actual achievements?
I met Ron Weinland and his wife before 2008, he seemed to be no one special. I cannot recall what he spoke about. But after the meeting, his wife said privately that Ron goes on too much about things. She seemed like she was fed up with putting up with him. I wonder if they are still married?
Women have an uncanny knack of compartmentalizing, and going along to get along when fantastic sums of money and power are involved. Mrs. Weinland was seemingly perfectly content in her role as the silent witness.
You just never know what goes on in private, behind closed doors. It was said that Loma Armstrong was Herb's muse and conscience, and that following her passing, HWA actually left his own church and began seeking international fame and fortune galivanting off to ingratiate himself to the rich and powerful.
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