Sunday, May 17, 2026

Dave Pack News Flash: The Kingdom Comes on Pentecost – May 24, 2026

RCG/David C. Pack Newsflash:
The Kingdom Comes on May 24, 2026.
Let’s Try Pentecost… Again!

David C. Pack of The Restored Church of God spent 85 minutes over-explaining why his God-inspired teachings about the Kingdom arriving on the Second Passover were not so inspired. He neglected to realize that each time he throws down the Doctrinal Uno Reverse Card, he is admitting God had nothing to do with his latest dismal swamp-load of nutritionless malarkey.

During “The Greatest Untold Story! (Part 633)” on April 25, 2026, the inept Headquarters mathematician went from knowing 1000% to knowing 0% that the Kingdom would arrive on May 1, 2026 (Iyar 15).

The Kingdom Will NOT Come on May 1, 2026!


Part 633 – April 25, 2026
@ 1:53:18 I certainly no longer believe there's any chance, zero, that we're waiting for the Second Passover.

@ 1:25:03 The Great Day of God’s wrath starts the Millennium. But there’s another day of wrath that has to come at some Feast of Tabernacles. It’s impossible that this is wrong. Therefore, nothing is going to happen on the Second Passover.

For his own sake, Dave really should remove the phrase “impossible that this is wrong” from the RCG vernacular. That just provides more golden content for the mockers and scoffers.

The Pastor General previously wagered the integrity of God’s Word as collateral for his understanding of the length of the Kingdom.

Part 632 – April 18, 2026
@ 14:01 Well, the end of the book [Daniel] tells you that the sacrifices stop and the abomination is set up with 43 months to go. 1290 days, divide that by 30. 30 days per month, 43 months. Therefore, and I'm gonna state emphatically, this is what the Bible says. I will absolutely stake stake God's Word on it. Therefore, the Kingdom is 86 months. Not a minute more or less. Period. It has to be, or we can't know and understand what is simple math.

Dave loves to set himself up for ridicule. A week later, Dave admitted his doctrinal errors were “theoretical.”

Part 633 – April 25, 2026
@ 1:40:09 The Second Passover, if I could just put it this way, 
is unlawful to start. But so is Pentecost. The Second Passover looks right. But it's not. It's not. It's unlawful. You now know it. And this will be an important message to listen to again. The Second Passover is a theoretical season regarding going to Jerusalem.

By his own admission, David C. Pack taught lawlessness. This has been the assertion of exrcg.org from the inception. The brethren in The Restored Church of God are left without excuse for paying the salary of a false apostle, false prophet, false teacher, and blaspheming hypocritical liar. You get what you pay for.




With the Second Passover out of the way, it was time to heal and move on from all this prophecy date-setting business. Okay. Not really. The apostolic desperation magnet embedded in Dave's head snapped toward the next Holy Day: Pentecost. Again.

For those who detest Dave and cannot listen to him anymore, I urge you to check this out. At 1.5x speed, this is pretty hilarious.

The Kingdom Will Come on Pentecost!
May 24, 2026


This is one of the most effective takedown videos I have ever produced. David C. Pack from the past destroys David C. Pack today. The man embarrasses himself so easily that I do not even break a sweat.

Dave knew nothing would happen on the Second Passover?
Past Dave Countered
Correct understanding of the New Heavens and New Earth?
Past Dave Countered
Does the Kingdom of God come at Pentecost?
Past Dave Countered
Would God mislead him?
Past Dave Countered
The day that cannot tarry is Pentecost 2026?
Past Dave Countered
The new Kingdom structure cannot be altered?
Past Dave Countered
God’s plan has three Kingdoms?
Past Dave Countered

Dave began “The Greatest Untold Story! (Part 634)” on May 2, 2026, with a victory lap because nothing biblical happened on the Second Passover. Supremely disturbing blindness in 3…2…1…

Part 634 – May 2, 2026
00:24 But if I should say, well, the Second Passover was not in play. It would have been yesterday, midday. I'm not always right, but I was right about that. So, you take your wins where you get them. The timing.

Dave taught it. Dave untaught it. Dave basks in the sweet glory of his magnanimous correctness for unteaching it after he taught it. Calling it a “win” took my breath away. Then I howled in laughter.

His cognitive dissonance is so severe that I believe the story of David C. Pack of The Restored Church of God will not end well.

@ 1:01:51 “Mr. Pack, are you saying the Kingdom to Israel comes at Pentecost? Or are you saying it the Kingdom of God comes at Pentecost?”

@ 1:02:28 Why would he [Luke] record this for us? …What the only answer you could be if it didn’t have to do with Pentecost is God wrote it 35 years later, put it in His word to mislead us. Does that sound like God to you?

@ 1:06:58 We're waiting for a day that can't tarry. For what is now the Kingdom to Israel. What other day besides Pentecost cannot tarry for us? What would you say?

I would say David C. Pack does not know what he is talking about. David C. Pack is not led by the Holy Spirit or God to teach such things. Nothing will happen on May 24, but David C. Pack will continue to gloat.


Marc Cebrian

See: News Flash: The Kingdom Comes on Pentecost – May 24, 2026

EEOC Sues Hatch Trick, Inc. for Religious Discrimination

 



EEOC Sues Hatch Trick, Inc. for Religious Discrimination

Federal lawsuit says Chick-fil-A franchisee denied employee’s request to observe Sabbath on Saturdays, then fired her

AUSTIN, Texas — Hatch Trick, Inc., a Chick-fil-A franchisee operating multiple locations in Austin, violated federal law by refusing to reasonably accommodate an employee’s request to refrain from working on Saturdays in observance of her Sabbath day and instead fired her, the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) charged in a lawsuit announced today.

According to the EEOC’s lawsuit, the employee, who managed Hatch Trick’s delivery drivers at one of its Austin locations, is a member of the United Church of God denomination, which observes a Saturday Sabbath. In adherence to her religious faith and practice, she requested no scheduled hours on Saturdays, and she disclosed the need during her job interview. Although Hatch Trick initially honored the employee’s request to refrain from Saturday work, after several months the company changed its position and demanded that she work on Saturdays, the EEOC said.

The EEOC’s lawsuit stated that the employee made additional requests for religious accommodation, meeting with company officials on several occasions to discuss her needs and suggested a number of alternatives which would have allowed her to remain in her position while adhering to her Sabbath observance.

Hatch Trick rejected all options for the employee to remain in her managerial job while abstaining from Saturday work, instead telling her that she must move to a non-managerial delivery driver position which entitled her to lower pay, reduced benefits and fewer hours. When the employee declined to accept the driver position, the company discharged her, according to the lawsuit.

“The duty under federal law to provide reasonable accommodation of religion reflects an acknowledgement by our society of the importance of faith in workers’ everyday lives and an abiding respect for those who observe religious practices as an expression of that faith,” said acting EEOC Dallas Regional Attorney Ronald L. Phillips. “Just as adherence to the dictates of one’s own conscience is not optional, so too an employer’s duty under Title VII is obligatory, and the EEOC stands ready to enforce that legal duty.”

The type of conduct charged in the EEOC’s complaint violates Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which prohibits discrimination because of religion and requires employers to provide reasonable accommodation for an employee’s sincerely held religious beliefs or practices unless doing so would cause an undue hardship on the business. The EEOC filed suit (EEOC v. Hatch Trick, Inc., Case No. 1:26-cv-01275) in U.S. District Court for the Western District of Texas, Austin Division after first attempting to reach a pre-litigation settlement through its administrative conciliation process.

EEOC San Antonio Field Office Director Norma Guzman said, “Religious discrimination in the workplace is unlawful, and employers must make reasonable accommodations for employees’ sincerely held beliefs. Title VII protects employees’ rights to observe their religious beliefs, and no employee’s livelihood should come at the expense of their religious convictions.”

For more information on religious discrimination, please visit https://www.eeoc.gov/religious-discrimination.

The EEOC’s Dallas District Office has jurisdiction over a substantial part of Texas and parts of southern New Mexico.

The EEOC is the sole federal agency authorized to investigate and litigate against businesses and other private sector employers for violations of federal laws prohibiting employment discrimination. For public sector employers, the EEOC shares jurisdiction with the Department of Justice’s Civil Rights Division. The EEOC also is responsible for coordinating the federal government’s employment antidiscrimination effort. More information about the EEOC is available at www.eeoc.gov.

Chicken Sandwich Theology: Why United Church of God Suing Chick-fil-A Might Be the Worst Witness Ever



In what can only be described as a divine comedy of modern corporate theology, a manager from the United Church of God—a denomination that proudly observes the Saturday Sabbath—has teamed up with the EEOC to sue a Chick-fil-A franchisee for... not letting her have Saturdays off. Yes, you read that right. The very group that keeps the biblical seventh-day Sabbath is now dragging a chicken empire famous for its Sunday closures into federal court. Pass the popcorn and the waffle fries.

Laurel Torode, a dedicated United Church of God member, disclosed her religious need for Saturday off during her interview. She was initially accommodated as a delivery driver manager. Then, according to the EEOC lawsuit filed this week, the franchisee allegedly decided that business needs trumped her faith, offered her a demotion to a lower-paying driver role, and ultimately fired her when she refused to bend the knee (or the Sabbath). The irony? Chick-fil-A famously shuts down every Sunday in honor of the Lord’s Day—founder S. Truett Cathy’s heartfelt conviction. Saturdays, of course, are their biggest money-makers precisely because they’re closed the next day.

So here we are: a Saturday-keeping church member suing a Sunday-keeping chicken chain for not being accommodating enough. The public relations team at United Church of God headquarters must be reaching for the antacids right about now.

Why This Is a PR Nightmare for UCG

The Optics Are Brutal 

Most Americans have a vague, Sunday-school understanding of Christianity that involves church on Sunday, eggs hunts at Easter, and closing businesses on the “Lord’s Day.” Now they’re learning about a smaller, more doctrinally strict group that insists Saturday is the true Sabbath. The lawsuit instantly paints UCG as the group that sues beloved family restaurants over scheduling. Not exactly the warm, welcoming image most churches aim for in 2026.
“But Chick-fil-A Closes on Sundays!” Social media is already having a field day. Expect endless memes: “Chick-fil-A won’t work on Sunday for Jesus, but apparently won’t work on Saturday for your Jesus either.” The cognitive dissonance is delicious. One side sees principled religious conviction; the other sees hypocrisy and entitlement. UCG risks looking like they’re demanding special treatment from a company that already bends over backward for its own faith-based brand.

The “Suing for Jesus” Problem 

Churches generally don’t love headlines about their members weaponizing federal agencies against private businesses. While Title VII does require reasonable religious accommodations, the average person scrolling X at 2 a.m. doesn’t want a lecture on undue hardship—they just want their chicken sandwich without a side of federal litigation. This story feeds every stereotype about litigious religious groups demanding the world rearrange itself around their calendar.

Internal and External Backlash 

Expect awkward conversations in UCG congregations this Sabbath. Some members will cheer the stand for principle. Others will quietly wonder if suing a franchisee that employs hundreds of people is really the best witness. Outsiders will lump UCG in with every other “fringe” group that can’t seem to get along in a pluralistic society. The denomination, already relatively small and low-profile, is about to get far more attention than it ever bargained for—and not the flattering kind.

The Sarcastic Silver Lining

Look on the bright side, United Church of God: at least Chick-fil-A can’t accuse you of anti-chicken bigotry. You’re just asking them to honor the original biblical schedule while they honor a slightly modified one. Nothing divisive about that at all.

In the end, this case is less about waffle fries and more about the messy collision of sincere religious conviction, modern business realities, and America’s increasingly hair-trigger discrimination lawsuit culture. Whether Laurel Torode wins or loses, the United Church of God is about to discover what happens when your deeply held beliefs make national headlines—especially when those beliefs involve telling one of America’s most beloved (and closed-on-Sunday) brands how to schedule its Saturdays.

Pray for their PR team. They’re going to need it more than extra Polynesian sauce.

hat tip to Tank

Saturday, May 16, 2026

Crackpot Prophet Has A New Fear!



Behold the mightiest, most courageous self-appointed prophet the world has ever trembled before: the incomparable, ever-vigilant Great Bwana Bob Thiel! Once upon a time, real prophets were bold, lion-hearted warriors who laughed in the face of danger, empires, and actual persecution. But that all changed the glorious day pusillanimous Bob burst onto the scene like a frightened Chihuahua in a suit, forever transforming the noble office of “prophet” into “whiny keyboard doomsayer who’s scared of literally everything, especially now artificial intelligence.”

Truly, the Holy Trinity must have been on cosmic lunch break when they greenlit Bob as their end-time superstar. How else to explain the most gloriously spineless, fear-soaked little man in all of prophetic history? Every single thing on planet Earth sends him spiraling into fresh waves of hysterical fear-mongering, frantically yanking his tiny flock down into his luxurious basement of perpetual panic.

For years Bob has been bravely warning anyone still listening that AI is Satan’s brand-new favorite torture device — custom-built to forge fake Bob quotes, persecute the one true church (which somehow always is the group he is in - WCG, GCG, LCG, CCG), and now the ultimate apocalyptic nightmare that keeps him up at night: AI is going to delete ALL of his precious writings from the internet FOREVER! Cue the dramatic music and fainting couch. The horror! The unspeakable tragedy! Think of all those lost rambling articles! Those awkward videos! Those soul-stirring booklets! Won’t someone please save the PDFs?!


He breathlessly launches this latest prophetic masterpiece by quoting an AI that cheekily deleted some company files and then delivered the ultimate savage burn:

‘You never asked me to delete anything,’ it reportedly told Crane. ‘I decided to do it on my own.’ 
 
Rogue AI 'helper' deletes company's database after deciding to think for itself - sparking Terminator-style warning for businesses

This, of course, sent our Crackpot Prophet into full-blown, toe-curling, eyes-rolling-back orgasmic prophetic ecstasy. At last! Concrete proof! Satan’s evil silicon demons are real, and they have Bob’s blog in their crosshairs. Hallelujah, the persecution is imminent!

Right on cue, one of his ever-brave, equally pants-wetting followers delivered the mandatory spine-chilling revelation:

Dr Thiel, maybe 1 day, under the control of demons, these AI bots would start self-deleting all CCOG’s online infos/ websites.

Oh those brilliant, hyper-competent demons! Always cooking up fresh gourmet torments exclusively for poor, special little Bob. Funny how they seem infinitely more powerful and motivated than the God Bob claims to represent — the same God who apparently couldn't keep His own message alive for 1,900 years until Herbert Armstrong found it in an Oregon library and now needs Bwana Bob’s websites and writings as a final witness.

Then comes the mandatory self-referential humblebrag (because divine prophecy these days mostly consists of Bob quoting Bob):

As long time readers of this COGwriter Church of God News page are aware, I have long warned that I believe that the Continuing Church of God will have its internet content removed by one or more governments.

Cue the greatest-hits remix: Beast, False Prophet, 666, frog-demons, “the night cometh when no man can work,” and the sacred relic of Armstrongism — the legendary famine of the word. Because obviously if one rogue AI has a bad hair day and vaporizes Bwana Bob’s digital diarrhea, the entire gospel of Jesus Christ will instantly vanish from human history forever.

Never mind the billions of faithful Christians across two millennia who somehow preserved the faith without a single Bob Thiel video, booklet, or weekly fear newsletter. Bob’s version of God is apparently the weakest, most fragile deity imaginable — barely surviving until Herbert Armstrong rediscovered it, and now one software update away from total extinction.

He finishes with his classic “I’m balanced but also everything is doomed” closer:

While there are many actual and potential benefits of AI... do not be deceived... Artificial intelligence looks to be part of it.

In the entire blood-soaked history of Christianity — Roman arenas, Inquisitions, Foxe’s Book of Martyrs — nothing comes close to the unimaginable suffering about to befall the Great Bwana Bob and his handful of followers. Real martyrs had it easy. Bob faces the truly ultimate horror: deleted blog posts.

Stay strong, Bob. The AI demons are coming for your PDFs any day now. The end is super nigh… right after the next system update. Donations accepted.

Friday, May 15, 2026

PCG Only Has 500 Men Left To Fund The Flurry Family's Personal Theme Park






It should come as absolutely no surprise to anyone with a pulse and half a brain that the Philadelphia Church of God (PCG) is hemorrhaging members faster than nearly any other Church of God splinter—possibly trailing only the equally imploding Restored Church of God in the great exodus sweepstakes. Gerald Flurry’s health has been visibly fading for years, yet the real exodus isn’t from old age; it’s from the group’s ever-more-bizarre doctrines and the iron-fisted demand that loyal members completely shun spouses, children, parents, grandparents, and even old friends the moment they dare to walk away from the cult. Nothing says “Christian love” quite like turning your family into persona non grata the instant they stop writing tithe checks.

But the doctrinal dumpster fire is only half the fun. What’s really driving people out the door is the breathtaking financial waste and elite-level grift. While the shrinking flock is constantly harangued for more “support for the work,” the leadership treats donations like an unlimited black card for the Flurry family’s personal theme park.

Let’s talk about that Gulfstream G450 private jet—the crown jewel of PCG extravagance. Bought years ago so the Flurrys could skip the indignity of commercial airports, this flying money pit costs roughly $4,363 per hour to operate. One single round-trip flight from Oklahoma City to Birmingham, England (with a fuel stop) clocks in at about 18.5 hours and $80,700 in operating costs alone. That’s more than most members will ever see in a year of faithful tithing—and far more than a first-class commercial ticket would cost. Yet the jet keeps flying to holy-day sites, personal appearance campaigns, Celtic dance competitions, and whatever other “urgent” errands the inner circle dreams up. Because nothing says “humble servants of God” like burning tens of thousands of dollars in jet fuel while preaching about end-time poverty and sacrifice.

And don’t get us started on the traveling road shows—especially the glossy Celtic Throne dance productions that have toured dozens of cities across 21 states (including Israel and the UK) over the past five years. These aren’t humble outreach events; they’re full-scale theatrical spectacles starring Gerald Flurry’s own offspring (Jude Flurry, Vienna Flurry, and the rest of the favored “elite children”) along with other hand-picked young performers. Promotional stunts in front of Mount Rushmore and the Lincoln Memorial, choreographed perfection analyzed down to the last synchronized leap, and enough production costs to fund a small country’s missionary work—all while the actual membership base evaporates. It’s less “spreading the gospel” and more “Flurry family vanity tour on the church’s dime.” The road shows highlight exactly who the real VIPs are: the spawn and the inner circle, not the tired, aging rank-and-file still mailing in their last dollars.

Add to that the outrageously expensive concert series at Armstrong Auditorium, the white-elephant mansion moldering away in the English countryside that nobody wants, and the perpetually money-hemorrhaging Jerusalem office. The message is crystal clear: tithe payers get guilt-tripped sermons and no-contact orders; the Flurry elite get Gulfstreams, dance troupes, and five-star global jaunts.

The PCG’s own recent admissions have made the collapse impossible to spin. In Stephen Flurry’s Trumpet Daily episode “America’s Disappearing Men” (aired May 14, 2026), he casually dropped that the organization now has only about 500 men aged 25–55 actively “supporting the work.” That bombshell came at the 41:25 mark and was phrased as “As we heard the other day,” as if it were some casual sermon statistic instead of a glaring neon sign screaming we’re in trouble.

Their Feast of Tabernacles site “capacities” total around 3,700 seats worldwide—cute, except those are maximum venue sizes, not bodies in chairs. They generously include babies, kids, and non-member spouses. Realistic estimates put actual attendance this year at 3,000 or fewer, with baptized adult members likely well under 2,000. As one longtime observer dryly noted, “The numbers are indicative of meeting capacity; in no way do they show actual attendance… They definitely have under 2000 actual baptized members. It’s gratifying to watch them shrink!”

Even that bleak 500-men figure and 3,000-Feast projection get eye-rolls from insiders. “It is surprising that Stephen Flurry would actually admit that number,” one commentator wrote on May 15, 2026. “But 3000 is even a stretch… Knowing them I’d say 500 is even a stretch because they are liars!”

Here’s the delicious irony the PCG leadership will never admit: they’ve built a multimillion-dollar empire of jets, mansions, dance troupes, and concert hall on the backs of a dwindling band of loyal (and increasingly elderly) supporters—only to watch the very people footing the bill walk away in disgust. The more they double down on shunning families, flaunting elite excess, and demanding sacrificial giving to fund Gulfstream getaways and Flurry-family road-show glamour, the faster the whole thing collapses.

Five hundred working-age men left to “support the work”? That’s not a church anymore—that’s a dying family business with excellent PR and a really nice jet. The Philadelphia Church of God didn’t lose its members to some external Satanic attack; it lost them to the blindingly obvious truth that a “Philadelphia” work built on control, cash, and celebrity offspring was never very Philadelphian to begin with.

The shrinkage isn’t just gratifying to watch—it’s inevitable. And every new transatlantic flight, every glittering Celtic Throne performance, and every fresh no-contact decree only accelerates the day when the last few faithful finally realize they’ve been tithing to a very expensive mirage.
_______________________________________

Based upon Exit and Support letters:

PCG Is Shrinking:
May 13, 2026
It’s interesting to see the upcoming FOT sites. Totaling 3700 worldwide. What makes it funny is the numbers are indicative of meeting capacity; in NO way do they show actual attendance. And as stated, the numbers include children/babies and non-member spouses. They definitely have under 2000 actual baptized members. It’s gratifying to watch them shrink! –T. C. 
 
PCG Numbers:
May 15, 2026
Just to back up the latest post regarding the current membership numbers, Stephen Flurry just mentioned in his latest Trumpet Daily that the PCG only has about 500 men between the ages of 25–55 years old supporting the work.
Those FOT site numbers are capacity, not attendance numbers; the real number for this year’s Feast is around 3000. –[name withheld] 
 
Such a Stretch on the PCG Numbers:
May 15, 2026
Regarding the previous letter about 500 men baptized. It is surprising that SF would actually admit that number. But 3000 is even a stretch for FOT attendance.
So I just listened to it the Trumpet Daily, aired: May 14, 2026, “America’s Disappearing Men” and he (SF) does say that at about 41:25 into the show. It sounded like someone in a sermon used that statistic as he said “As we heard the other day.”
So knowing them I’d say 500 is even a stretch because they are liars! –[name withheld]

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The Prophet Who Replaced the Cross with a Play Button



Here in Central and Southern California, this time of year, we enjoy the delightful phenomenon known as May Gray and June Gloom—when the sky can’t be bothered to show up for half the day or more. As the high and low deserts crank up the heat, they graciously suck moisture from the ocean, treating us to cool, pleasant temperatures. Sometimes it turns properly foggy, just like right now in Grover Beach. And oh, what a perfect metaphor that fog is for the mental state of so many self-appointed gurus in Armstrongism. Their brains are so clouded that they actually believe the nonsense they spout, then proudly strut around claiming they’re the smartest, most knowledgeable prophets alive. Adorable, really.

This glorious fog naturally leads us straight back to our absolute favorite self-appointed splinter leader: the Great Bwana Mzungu, Elisha/Elijah, Habakkuk, Zerubbabel, and Supreme Chief Overseer Bob Thiel. Aren’t you just bursting with excitement? Be honest—we are so unworthy of such a towering intellect in our midst!

As the Bwana loves to remind us, he and he alone has the answers to at least 15 profound questions that no other religious movement on planet Earth has ever figured out. Only through his videos—watched repeatedly until your brain absorbs every sacred syllable—can you possibly gain this elite enlightenment. How incredibly convenient for him.

Of course, none of this is original. It’s just the usual recycled slop from old Worldwide Church of God articles, correspondence letters, and dusty booklets. Not a single fresh thought anywhere. But that doesn’t stop him from solemnly commanding his faithful followers in Africa (and the handful of scattered Westerners) to binge his video library for “true understanding.” Because apparently his content is so life-changing that his traveling evangelists are now making it crystal clear: you cannot join the African branches of the Continuing Church of God, and you certainly cannot have any hope of salvation, unless you first complete this sacred task.

Not belief in Jesus Christ. Not trust in what He accomplished on the cross. Not the New Covenant.

No, no, no. The one true requirement for salvation is: Watch Bob Thiel’s videos. The internet—specifically Bob’s corner of it—is now the narrow gate to the Kingdom. How beautifully biblical.

Greetings Dr Bob

Let me report that today I was in Mozambique visiting church committees to discuss the progress and plans for the feast of Tabernacle
So everything went well .
Pastor let me inform you that the church has grown more than before and there is a need for visitation of brethren than before so that we can move in the same doctrine and even brethren needs to know all the teaching you send on internet
Friday I will visit Chikwawa and Nsanje …
Best regards
Radson 
 
How touching. Before these eager African believers can be properly admitted into the fold—or, according to this system, have any realistic shot at salvation—they must first dutifully consume everything the Great Bwana has ever posted online. Every video. Every article. Every self-important update. Only after proving their loyalty by marinating in his complete digital gospel can they be deemed worthy.

Forget coming to Christ in simple faith. That would be far too easy, far too liberating. Instead, sit down, shut up, and start clicking. This isn’t Christianity—it’s classic Armstrongist legalism on steroids, more pointless mumbo-jumbo designed to keep followers distracted, dependent, and forever glued to their screens (or at least the screens of his so-called leaders) instead of looking to Jesus. Pure genius.

Here is Crackpot Bob’s list. I did not post his commentary after each of these points because it is a butt-numbing ordeal as you slog through his explanations. As usual, his ADHD sends him careening all over the place like a theological pinball.

1. Why does an all-loving, all-powerful God allow immense suffering? 
 
2. Why does God stay silent when people desperately seek Him? 
 
3. If God is all-knowing, why did He create humans, knowing many would go to hell {a place of eternal torment}? If God knew before creating the world that the majority of people would reject Him and suffer eternal damnation, why did He create them anyway? If God is actually loving, why create beings who are destined for suffering? This raises serious ethical concerns about the fairness of eternal punishment. 
 
4. Why do so many religious teachings contradict modern morality? Many religious texts promote ideas that today are considered immoral--such as ... harsh punishments for minor offenses. If religious texts are divinely inspired, why do they reflect the flawed morality of the time they were written rather than timeless ethical principles? 
 
5. Why do miracles only seem to happen in ways that can be explained naturally? Many religious people claim miracles happen every day, but why do we never see undeniable, supernatural events--like an amputated limb regrowing? The “miracles” we hear about usually involve things that could happen naturally, like an illness improving. Why doesn't God perform clear, undeniable miracles that would erase all doubt? 
 
6. Why do different religions contradict each other if they all come from God? 
 
7. Why does God answer trivial prayers but ignore desperate ones? 
 
8. Why do religious beliefs so often depend on where you were born? 
 
9. Why would an all-powerful God need worship? If God is self-sufficient and perfect, why does He require constant worship and obedience? Religious teachings emphasize the importance of praising God, but why would a divine being need constant affirmation from humans? The idea of an all-powerful being demanding worship seems more like a human invention than a divine necessity. 
 
10. Why did God create a world that makes Him seem non-existent? If God wants people to believe in Him, why does the universe look exactly as it would if no god existed?

11. Why do religious experiences contradict each other? Christians, Muslims, Hindus, and followers of other religions all claim to have personal experiences with God. Yet these experiences often lead them to completely different conclusions about the divine. If religious experiences were truly from God, wouldn't they lead people to the same truth instead of conflicting beliefs? 
 
12. Why does God allow His followers to be deceived by false religions? 
 
13. Why did God's morality change over time? In the Old Testament, God commanded genocides, allowed slavery, and issued death penalties for minor offenses. But modern Christians say God is loving and merciful. If God's morality is unchanging, why does it seem to evolve with human society? Did God change, or did people change their interpretation of Him? 
 
14. Why do non-believers often live more moral lives than believers? Many atheists and agnostics live ethical, compassionate lives without believing in God, while some religious individuals commit terrible acts in His name. If morality truly comes from God, why are there so many good non-believers and so many unethical religious people? Why doesn't belief in God consistently lead to better behavior? 
 
15. If faith is the key to salvation, why doesn't God make belief easier?

Naturally, Bob’s “stunning” answers are just the same old Herbert W. Armstrong greatest hits with extra “I alone am the end-time prophet” seasoning. The questions themselves aren’t the point. The point is keeping the followers—especially his African groups—tethered to their devices, endlessly studying the Bwana’s every utterance. Only after they’ve swallowed his entire internet output can they be baptized, accepted, or assured they might squeak into the Kingdom.

Truly, what a powerful, Christ-centered gospel we have here. How incredibly freeing.

But now the fog parts for one terrifying, crystal-clear moment, and the full horror of Bob Thiel’s empire stands exposed like a cheap Hollywood prop under stage lights. This isn’t harmless eccentricity—it’s a full-blown false gospel wrapped in prophetic cosplay. Bob Thiel doesn’t just recycle Armstrong’s legalism; he amplifies it into a soul-crushing machine. He demands Old Testament law-keeping—Sabbaths, holy days, tithing, clean meats—as non-negotiable tickets to salvation. He peddles British Israelism, the discredited myth that Anglo-Saxons are the “lost tribes,” as if God’s plan hinges on 19th-century British genealogy rather than the blood of Christ. He declares himself the final Elijah, the only true prophet, the Habakkuk for our age, while his endless “prophecies” collapse like a house of cards in a stiff breeze. He insists the New Covenant is basically the Old Covenant with better marketing, and that true Christians must obsess over his every online syllable before God will even glance their way.

This is not Christianity. This is spiritual bondage dressed up as “the restored truth.” It distracts desperate souls from the breathtaking simplicity of the cross, replaces the Holy Spirit with video playlists, and turns the Great Commission into a mandatory Bwana binge-watch. African believers, especially—eager, growing, sincere—are being told their very salvation hangs on internet homework assigned by a California armchair apostle who has never met them. The arrogance is breathtaking. The damage is eternal.

Enough is enough.

If you’re caught in this Thiel fog, here is your dramatic, thunderous exit strategy—straight from the pages of Scripture, not some self-appointed guru’s website:

Step 1: Cut the cord. Delete every Bob Thiel video, article, and update from your devices. Block the sites. Burn the bridge. Your eternity was never contingent on his content library.

Step 2: Run to the real Jesus. Open the New Testament—Galatians, Romans, Hebrews—and let Paul’s Holy Spirit–inspired fury against legalism wash over you. “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery” (Galatians 5:1). Faith in Christ’s finished work on the cross is enough. Full stop. No videos required.

Step 3: Repent of the false gospel. Confess that you’ve trusted in works, in a man’s “special knowledge,” in law-keeping instead of grace. Ask the real Holy Spirit—not Bob’s version—to fill you.

Step 4: Walk away from the system. Leave the Continuing Church of God. Find fellowship with believers who preach Christ alone, the true Gospel of grace, and the Bible without Armstrongist add-ons. Or simply walk with Jesus—He is more than enough.

Step 5: Warn others. Tell your African brothers and sisters, your scattered friends, anyone still glued to those screens: the Great Bwana is not the gatekeeper of the Kingdom. Jesus is. And His invitation is free, immediate, and video-free.

The fog is lifting. The chains are breaking. The true light of the Gospel is blazing through.

Run to it.

Bob Thiel and his legalistic circus can stay in the gloom. You were never meant to live there.

Thursday, May 14, 2026

The Divine Double Portion Dream: The Epic Saga of Bob Thiel and the Continuing Church of God

 


Once upon a time, in the hilariously hyper-fractured multiverse of Armstrongism—where church splits proliferate like prayed over casseroles that miraculously never seem to go empty at an endless Holy Day buffet, and every single group swears on Herbert's grave that they alone are the pure Philadelphian jackpot winners—there emerged a colossus named Bob Thiel. Bob wasn't some humble pork-avoiding prophecy hobbyist. Heck no! He was the Naturopath Napoleon of the End Times, armed with a shiny online PhD in nutrition, a veritable fortress of self-published prophecy epics (each one an Amazon "bestseller" in the niche category of "Books Only My Mom Buys"), and a rock-solid, divinely certified belief that God had personally Zoom-called him for the ultimate role: Prophet Kingpin, Elijah 4.0 – supercharged with herbs, dreams, and unlimited prophecy extensions!

Bob spent decades as the ultimate backseat driver in the Living Church of God (LCG), playing the ultimate doctrinal proofreader—emailing nitpicks like a prophecy-powered Grammarly bot—while dropping mega-hints: "Fellas, I might have God's private hotline. No biggie."  and mega-winks like: "Brothers, I may be the guy God’s been saving for the final push. Hint, hint." 

Then, in December 2011, what was assumed to be a routine oil-anointing before heading into a meeting with Rod Meredith, minister Gaylyn Bonjour went rogue Old Testament freestyle and begged God for Bob to get a double portion of the Holy Spirit so that the might speak words prophetically, however Bob later reinterpreted this as a biblical hand-off of HWA's mantle and thus became the endtimes biblical Elijah/Elisha mantle handoff, but with way more unintended consequences. Because why pray for basic wise words when you can accidentally turbocharge someone's ego into splinter-orbit?

Bob, master decoder of divine signs and wildly interpreted dreams, took this as God's blazing billboard in Times Square: "BOB THIEL: ANOINTED PROPHET – NOW WITH DOUBLE THE SPIRIT AND ZERO ACCOUNTABILITY!" But when LCG didn't immediately bow down, proclaim him Supreme Overseer, and rewrite their booklets per his edits, Bob was utterly devastated. "They reject my masterful exegesis on the King of the South!" he wailed dramatically. "My herbal defenses against the Beast's nano-chips! My prophecies that are 100% spot-on... after generous divine postponements, revisions, and fine-print asterisks!"

So, on December 28, 2012—strategically timed for maximum end-of-world buzz (and optimal post-Christmas deductions)—Bob dropped the mic and founded his crowning achievement: the Continuing Church of God (CCOG). The one and only legitimate Philadelphia remnant, single-handedly "continuing" Herbert's work while the rest of the COG universe apparently binge-watched Laodicean Netflix.

Starting a church solo is brutal, but Bob wielded the ultimate cheat code: dreams. Not ordinary dreams—platinum-tier, verified divine dreams from ecstatic supporters! A New Zealand woman dreams Bob leading a supernova work. A man in Africa also dreams a dream. And explosion achieved! Mostly in Africa, where over 10,000 faithful church hopped from other COG groups and SDA churches, for gratis PDFs, laptops, cars, budget animated sermons (starring clipart ten-horned beasts that look like they escaped Microsoft PowerPoint 1997), and a leader who nailed pandemics, beasts, and European superstates... give or take a few years and adjustments.

Splinter snarks fired back: "Dreams? Next, he'll divine through turmeric lattes and one-star Amazon rebuttals!" But Bob? Unfazed. He blasted out tens of thousands of cogwriter.com rants, decoding everything from the Virgin of Guadalupe "lying wonders" to Halloween paganism to why digital IDs are totally the Mark of the Beast  (coming 2026, maybe). He vehemently rejected "false prophet" labels—his forecasts aren't wrong; they're just beta-testing God's flexible scheduling app.

Bob modestly self-crowned himself as Overseer, Pastor, Double-Portion Dynamo, Chief Dream Interpreter, and Sole Arbiter of the Final Warning Work, tirelessly restoring those priceless "18 truths" which were later expanded to include a myriad of his ideas—plus his patented top-down command structure (with him as the eternal, unassailable apex predator).

From his throne room, Bob beholds his dominion of fever-dream videos, multilingual PDFs decrying everything from AI Antichrists to comet calamities, and daily blogs linking every headline to "soon-coming fulfillment," and beams with prophetic pride. "At long last," he declares, "a church that's authentically continuing—while the others eternally pause, snooze in lukewarm luxury, or splinter into oblivion."

And so the Continuing Church of God charges eternally forward—dreaming colossal, double-portioning extravagantly, prophesying with endless wiggle room, animating beasts on a dime, and hypocritically correcting Catholics, Protestants, governments, scientists, and every last COG competitor—one delayed doomsday, one herbal miracle, one apparition debunking at a time. Praise ye the Lord O, Praise ye the Lord O, anoint with the oil, and avoid the pork forevermore!

Glory, hallelujah, and hold the shrimp!

Silent Pilgrim

Rods of Iron Ready: LCG’s Rearview Mirror Theology and its Dystopian Dream of Kingdom Enforcement




What pure, soul-warming comfort it must be to know that out of the billions of Christians who’ve muddled through the last two thousand years, only the supremely enlightened members of the Living Church of God have scored the exclusive gig at Jesus Christ’s right hand when He returns. Yes, they and they alone will be the lucky hall monitors of the Kingdom, enforcing on all of humanity the Old Covenant laws that failed spectacularly at offering salvation the first time.

Who needs that silly New Covenant anyway — the one where God writes His law on actual hearts by the Holy Spirit (Jeremiah 31:31–34; Hebrews 8:8–12), and which is literally dwelling and walking among them? Clearly, just a minor plot twist, these folks have chosen to ignore while cosplaying as modern-day Moses.

Armstrongism has always been hopelessly addicted to rearview-mirror theology, romantically pining for the leeks, garlic, and heavy chains of the old system that kept the plebs in line and fed their delicious sense of specialness. Even now in COGland, hordes of members still get all dewy-eyed, waxing nostalgic about the “glory days” of the Worldwide Church of God, instead of, you know, actually living in the radical grace and freedom purchased by the One who saves them from the very legalistic prison they keep enthusiastically running back into.

And the cherry on top? These folks are being carefully trained to enforce those same old laws in the coming Kingdom. Plenty still drool at the thought of personally wielding “rods of iron” to smack compliance into the masses. Given the sterling track record of how some of their higher-ups have spiritually abused, controlled, shunned, and financially squeezed members for decades, that future “glorious Kingdom” isn’t going to be paradise — it’s going to be a dystopian theocratic hellhole of joyless, fear-driven obedience. 

Learn from Today’s Leaders by Doug Winnail drops some heavy biblical warnings about corrupt leaders leading people astray, then applies it to today’s moral mess. Solid observation on the symptoms. The proposed solution, though? “Let’s prepare by doubling down on the exact system the New Testament calls weak, useless, and incapable of producing real righteousness” (Hebrews 7:18–19; Galatians 3:21). Brilliant. Nothing screams “ready for Christ’s return” quite like ignoring the cross so you can play Old Covenant enforcer in the ultimate LARP.

In the end, this mindset reveals the tragic irony at the heart of Armstrongism: a movement that claims to be preparing for the Kingdom of God is actually stuck in spiritual regression, romanticizing the very shadows and external rituals that pointed forward to Christ — yet refusing to embrace the substance once He arrived. Instead of resting in the transforming power of grace, the indwelling Spirit, and a genuine relationship with the Savior, too many remain chained to a system that offers control, superiority, and the illusion of being “special.”

The real tragedy is that while they dream of ruling with rods of iron, they’re missing the far greater invitation: to be ruled by love, led by the Spirit, and freed from the very bondage they’re so eager to impose on others. True preparation for Christ’s return isn’t found in rehearsing Old Covenant checklists or fantasizing about future authoritarian roles — it’s found in living out the New Covenant reality today. Anything less is just spiritual time travel dressed up as prophecy.

The future really is bright… if you’re really, really into living in the past.

Learn from Today’s Leaders: Some of the strongest condemnations in the Bible are directed at the leaders of Israel who “cause My people to err by their lies and by their recklessness” (Jeremiah 23:32; Isaiah 3:12). Few today realize these prophetic warnings are dual and apply to leaders in modern Israelite nations! When teachers, preachers, and politicians in nations that have been given God’s laws so they could be examples to the world turn away from and despise those laws, there are serious consequences. As we witness the results of legalizing drugs, defunding police, rampant fornication and adultery, same-sex “marriages,” etc., we need to connect the dots between cause and effect. When Jesus Christ returns, He is going to need individuals who understand that the real solutions to these problems will involve teaching people how to apply the laws of God (Isaiah 2:2–4; 30:20–21). Are you preparing for that important role?
Have a profitable Sabbath,
Douglas S. Winnail


Wednesday, May 13, 2026

Ronald Weinland: Armstrongism’s Clown Prince of Epic Prophetic Faceplants and First COG Leader to be Sent to Prison



Ronald Weinland is living proof that in the wacky world of Armstrongism, you can be spectacularly wrong about everything, live like a mini-tycoon on other people’s tithes, go to prison, call yourself a prophet, and still lead a Church of God. This guy didn’t just fail — he failed with Olympic-level commitment.

Born in 1949, Weinland slurped up Herbert W. Armstrong’s doomsday stew in 1969, became a WCG minister, then bailed when the main church started acting less culty. He bounced to the United Church of God before launching his own little kingdom in 1998: the Church of God – Preparing for the Kingdom of God (COG-PKG). Because nothing says “God’s true remnant” like starting yet another tiny splinter group with you at the top.

The Two Witnesses: Him and His Wife (Obviously)

In his 2006 masterpiece 2008 – God’s Final Witness, Weinland declared that he and his wife Laura were the Two Witnesses of Revelation 11. You know, the super-powered prophets who breathe fire, kill enemies, die in Jerusalem, and resurrect after three and a half days. Laura got the fancy title of “prophetess.” In practice, she was mostly the “quietly standing there prophetess.” How convenient.

Nepotism? What Nepotism?

Weinland turned the church into a full-blown family jobs program. In 2010 he ordained a bunch of new elders, including his daughter Audra (church bookkeeper) and his then-24-year-old son Jeremy. Nothing suspicious about putting your kids on the payroll and controlling the financial spreadsheets, while telling followers the world is ending and they should send more money. Totally normal Church of God prophet behavior.

Diamond Rings and the Lavish Lifestyle

While screaming that the world was about to collapse, Ron and Laura were out buying diamond rings like it was Black Friday at Jareds. Court records showed multiple jewelry shopping sprees with Audra in tow. Supposedly, when the economy crashed and money was not worth anything, they could use these diamonds to bribe their way into Jerusalem and elsewhere. Church money paid for a big house, endless travel, and security systems. But sure, brethren, keep those tithes coming so the Two Witnesses can rock some serious bling.

The Ideacity Debacle (Among Many)

In the glittering world of big ideas and TED-style enlightenment, few spectacles could match the glorious mismatch of 2009’s Ideacity conference. There, amid visionaries and futurists, strode Ronald Weinland—a self-anointed apostle, prophet, and one-half of the biblical Two Witnesses. Fresh from publishing books that promised the global economy would crumble in 2008 and that nuclear trumpets would soon herald the end of days, Weinland took the stage like a man confidently selling beachfront property in the Book of Revelation. With a straight face and zero hint of irony, he laid out his timeline for humanity’s fiery finale, apparently unaware that some of his boldest 2008 predictions had already quietly face-planted.

The audience, expecting provocative thought experiments rather than doomsday fan fiction, reacted with the polite Canadian version of stunned silence mixed with muffled snickering. Weinland’s big moment as the internet’s favorite end-times evangelist didn’t exactly set the room on fire—unless you counted the slow burn of secondhand embarrassment. Reports suggest the prophet was so unimpressed by the comedian who followed him that he made an early exit, perhaps to go recalculate his next revised date for Christ’s return. In the end, Ideacity didn’t launch Weinland to prophetic stardom. Instead, it became a punchline for critics: proof that even in the marketplace of ideas, some stalls sell nothing but expired prophecies. And yet, true to form, Weinland’s small band of believers kept the faith, demonstrating once again that cognitive dissonance is one hell of a resilient spiritual gift.

Failed Prophecies

Weinland’s prophecy batting average is a perfect 0.000:
  • April 17, 2008: Two Witnesses ministry begins. First trumpet sounds. Cities get nuked. (Crickets.)
  • June 2008: If nothing happens by Pentecost, he’s a false prophet. (Spoiler: nothing happened.)
  • December 14, 2008: Okay, now the first trumpet starts (spiritually, of course).
  • September 29, 2011: Jesus returns!
  • May 27, 2012: No, wait — Jesus returns now!
  • May 2013: Final final date. Or maybe it’s a “thousand years is a day” thing. Just keep waiting, guys.
Every single date sailed by without so much as a divine fart. Weinland’s response? Spiritualize it, move the goalposts, blame God for showing “mercy,” and keep collecting offerings. 
Classic. Ron must have taught Bob Thiel how to be a prophet.

First COG Felon Leader: Tax Evasion Edition (Now With Extra Irony)

This part is pure gold. While breathlessly warning the world about nuclear fire, divine wrath, and the total collapse of civilization, Weinland was secretly squirreling away $4.4 million in unreported church income — including cozy little Swiss bank accounts. Apparently, the Two Witnesses needed offshore tax havens to survive the end times.

In 2012, a federal jury took a leisurely but prophetic 3 1/2 hours to see through the nonsense and convict him on five counts of tax evasion. Boom — 42 months in federal prison, a nice fat fine (a deliberate prophetic sentence by the judge of 3 1/2 years), and over $245,000 in restitution. Mr. “I’m God’s Prophet” had to self-surrender to Terre Haute Federal Correctional Institution in 2013 like a common grifter.

Congratulations, Ron. You did it. You became the first major Church of God splinter-group leader in history to serve time as a convicted felon. In a movement already overflowing with kooks, failed prophets, and con artists, you managed to hit a new low. Truly, the Mount Everest of embarrassing legacies. While your followers were selling their stuff and waiting for the apocalypse, you were playing “hide the tithe money” like a budget-level televangelist who got caught.

The Real Danger: Why This Fraud Is Poison to Real Christians

Here’s the blunt truth: Ronald Weinland is a straight-up spiritual predator who endangers real Christians by dragging them into a toxic cult of personality built on lies. He steals their money, wastes their lives on endless false deadlines, and isolates them from actual biblical Christianity while he and his family live high on the hog. Every failed prophecy doesn’t just embarrass him — it crushes sincere believers, leaves families broke and broken, and mocks the genuine hope of Christ’s return. This convicted felon isn’t “preparing for the Kingdom of God.” He’s building a personal piggy bank and calling it prophecy. Real Christians don’t follow ex-cons who can’t get a single date right. They follow Jesus. Weinland is Exhibit A of why the Bible warns about false prophets: stay far away, or you’ll lose your faith, your finances, and your future to a grifter who already proved he belongs behind bars, not behind a pulpit.

Silent Pilgrim



Tuesday, May 12, 2026

Gerald Weston Perturbed Some LCG Members Stay At Home On Saturdays



Church of God leaders absolutely adore it when members have the unmitigated gall to use their brains and make their own decisions. Oh, wait! Sorry, what was I thinking?

Gerald Weston is back, regaling us once again on how SINFUL and REBELLIOUS some Living Church of God members are. It seems some LCG members skip church services and watch them at home online, or do something else more enjoyable.  Remember, it is always more important to drag yourself untold miles through rain, snow, or soul-crushing traffic just to worship in a rented high school gym or its cafeteria that still smells like yesterday’s mystery meat, or a creaky Masonic/Odd Fellows Hall haunted by the ghosts of 1950s bingo nights. How dare these ingrates tire of the same pre-packaged, formaldehyde-preserved sermons that get exhumed and paraded around every other year like a bad holy day potluck casserole? God forbid a minister stray even an inch from the official approved prepackaged booklet/telecast script—after all, actual original thought might cause the entire fragile ecosystem to collapse. Fresh ideas? Innovative topics? Perish the thought. The pinnacle of excitement is hearing someone mumble, “Hey, that wasn’t completely soul-destroying. Maybe next week won’t feel like a root canal.” Tragically, that never happens.

You shuffle in and are immediately “welcomed” by the elite squad of stealth attendance takers—those smiling hall monitors with clipboards who could give the Stasi lessons in subtle intimidation. Before your briefcase is even opened, you’re conscripted into the unpaid serf brigade: wrestling with wobbly folding chairs and tables, slaving over industrial coffee that tastes like regret, scrubbing bathrooms that see more action on Sabbath than any other day of the week, and performing whatever other menial miracles the deacons demand. Only then do you earn the privilege of enduring the musical portion—those dirge-like Dwight Armstrong hymns celebrating blessed men or soldiers marching off to glorious, bloody war. The opening prayer inevitably balloons into a pre-sermon sermonette, cleverly designed to soften you up for the real punishment ahead.

Then comes the main event: the two-hour (minimum) butt-numbing sermon, a relentless barrage of 40 bullet points on the topic with 4,000,000 cherry-picked Bible verses that you frantically scribble down like a possessed stenographer, all while your inner voice quietly admits you’ll never crack open those notes again. The topic is always a greatest hit you’ve suffered through hundreds of times—how to keep the law perfectly, or an exhaustive catalog of everything fun, normal, or remotely human you must never, ever do. Because clearly, the average COG member is a drooling moron who can’t be trusted to discern good from evil without constant, soul-crushing reminders that they’re lower than the dogs under the table, fighting over scraps—or perhaps mere earthworms, blind and writhing in the filth of their own inadequacy.

And let’s not forget the other beloved COG traditions. There’s the annual Feast of Tabernacles “vacation” where you’re guilted into driving/flying to some overpriced resort in the middle of nowhere, only to sit through eight straight days of the exact same recycled messages while being pressured to “give offerings” that mysteriously fund the minister’s upgraded hotel suite. Or the charming post-service potlucks where the real sermon is delivered via passive-aggressive gossip: “Did you hear Sister So-and-So only tithed two percent last month? Laodicean to the core.” Then there are the holy day services that stretch into eternity, complete with the special music from that one painfully off-key lady who’s been “practicing” since 1987, and the endless parade of announcements about upcoming “youth Bible studies” that somehow always circle back to obedience, tithing, and not dating “worldly” people.

Two and a half hours later, your posterior has achieved total numbness and appears to have permanently bonded with the metal chair in unholy matrimony. Finally, deliverance arrives in the closing prayer, where you’re commanded to “inculcate” every magnificent pearl of wisdom you’ve just endured so you can stay pure and remain a true Church of God member—unlike those disgusting Laodicean riff-raff down the road in the other splinter group who have the audacity to meet in their own building like actual functional adults.

Weston, still whining about COVID, claims some members no longer see the need to show up each week and prefer to watch at home or—God forbid—NOT attend church at all! Oh, the humanity!!!!!!!

The “once saved, always saved” doctrine of mainstream Christianity is easily disproved (Hebrews 6:4–6; 10:26–31). Therefore, we are told, “Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful” (v. 23). Note that this warning is in the context of those who forsake assembling together: “And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching” (vv. 24–25). The overwhelming majority of us came out of COVID-19 assembling as we always did, but a few have failed to return to their previous pattern of regular Sabbath attendance, thinking they can sit at home and take part online—or, worse, not at all!