Please Advise: How a Grown Man Checked His Brain at the Door and Outsourced His Soul to Crackpot Bob

A former Worldwide Church of God member supposedly wrote to Bob Thiel with a problem that should have been solved by adulthood: he could not decide which splinter group to join. The churches disagreed with each other. Gerald Flurry was wrong about Jacob’s stone. David Pack claimed the Two Witnesses were already in his congregation. Living Church of God said the Mark of the Beast is Sunday worship and left it at that. The man was confused. So naturally he asked the one person whose entire ministry consists of announcing that everyone else is wrong.

Bob’s reply was a masterpiece of pastoral self-righteousness. He doubted Pack and Flurry were even converted. He declared that the only Church of God that is Philadelphian is the Continuing Church of God. Not all in CCOG are Philadelphian, and there are a few Philadelphians hiding in other groups, but no other organization represents the continuation of Philadelphia. 

Therefore, the man should use “God’s criteria” (conveniently listed in Bob’s own articles) and none other. Most people, Bob added sadly, refuse to believe and insist on using their own standards. How Laodicean.

The pattern is familiar to anyone who has ever been part of Armstrongism and who has watched the Armstrong movement fracture since 1986. Every new leader discovers that his group is the faithful remnant. Herbert Armstrong’s “Philadelphia era” apparently ended with his death, then immediately restarted in whichever living room the latest prophet happened to be sitting. Bob’s version comes with extra features: confirmed dreams, the signs of Acts 2:17-18, articles printed in more languages than anyone else, and the exclusive promise of protection in Revelation 3:10. When Jesus returns, the implication is clear enough. He will look for the group that kept the right list of 18 restored truths, practiced hierarchical government under a prophet who received a double portion, and refused to let members think for themselves. Everyone else gets the lukewarm treatment.

What has happened to people’s ability to think independently? Decades of being told that “God’s government” means the man at the top decides doctrine, prophecy, and which articles you must read before you are allowed an opinion. The emailer’s question—“who do you go with?”—is the logical result. CHurch members were told what color and kind of car to buy, what color shirts and suits to wear, how long skirts should be, how to color code their Bibles according to official church teaching, and never to ask questions. After years of being trained that disagreement equals rebellion, the safest move is to outsource the decision to whoever claims the loudest that God talks to him in dreams.

Bob is not uniquely guilty of this. Pack, Flurry, Weinland, and a dozen others have played the same game. The difference is only branding. One man’s “Philadelphia remnant” is another man’s “Laodicean error.” The Bible itself is treated as a multiple-choice test whose correct answers happen to be the ones published on cogwriter.com this week.

The real scandal is not that Bob thinks his church is special. Every religious entrepreneur thinks that. The scandal is that grown adults still write him asking which church Jesus would pick, as if the Second Coming includes a membership audit and a name badge check. Independent thought has been reclassified as a character defect. “People decide” churches are the problem, Bob says. The solution is a church where one man has already decided for you.

If Jesus returns and the first thing He does is ask to see your CCOG literature rack, we will all owe Bob an apology. But reality states this will NEVER happen! Until then, the more honest title for the operation might be: “The Continuing Church of Bob — Because Thinking Is Hard and Dreams Are Easy.”

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A while back, I received an email from a former Worldwide Church of God member that included the following:

I AM CONCERNED ABOUT SOME ISSUES OF MR. …. BELIEF AND APPARENTLY YOU DON’T AGREE WITH. I DON’T THINK THAT ANY OF THESE CHURCHES AGREE WITH OTHER SO WHO DO YOU GO WITH? …

SOME OF GERALD FLURRY’S TEACHINGS ARE COMPLETELY WRONG AND HE’S GONE FAR OUT ON SOME THINGS SUCH AS ARMSTRONG’S STONE REPLACING JACOB’S. MANY, MANY PLACES IN THE BIBLE STATES THAT CHRIST IS THAT ROCK AND IT’S SPIRITUAL. CHRIST DOESN’T NEED A ROCK. FLURRY BASED HIS THEORY ON THE IDEA THAT COME KIDS STOLE JACOB’S ROCK FROM ENGLAND. THAT’S AMAZING SINCE IT WEIGHS OVER 350 LBS. I’VE READ OTHER LITERATURE THAT THE STONE IS STORED IN SCOTLAND.FALSE PREACHER #1

I SAW A DAVID PACK SERMON ON THE INTERNET ABOUT THE 2 WITNESSES . HE SAID THAT THEY ARE IN HIS CHURCH RIGHT NOW. I BELIEVE HE’S NOW PULLED THAT SERMON BECAUSE I COULDKN’T FIND IT NOW. FALSE PREACHER #2

I SAW A SERMON BY THE LIVING CHURCH OF GOD ABOUT THE MARK OF THE BEAST AND THE PRESENTER SAID WITHOUT HESITATION THAT THE MARK OF THE BEAST IS SUNDAY WORSHIP. PERIOD.. HE MADE NO MENTION OF ANY MARKS ON YOUR BODY OR 666. SABBATH MAY HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT, BUT THERE WILL BE OTHER FACTORS. YOU LEFT BECAUSE OF DOCTRINE. I’LL ????????? ….

NOW I COME TO … A FALSE TEACHER …

YOU SEE HOW A PERSON COULD BE DECEIVED?

PLEASE ADVISE

Anyway, here is what I responded to the former WCG member with:

Dear …:

As I have repeatedly written at COGwriter, I doubt that David Pack or Gerald Flurry are converted.

I consider that the only COG that is Philadelphian is the CCOG–though not all in CCOG are Philadelphian and there are Philadelphians not in CCOG–but no other COG represents the continuation of Philadelphia.

You should use God’s criteria, and none other to decide.

Here are two links you should read and pray about if you are truly serious:

1. How does the Continuing Church of God differ from other Sabbatarian COG groups?
2. Does the CCOG have the confirmed signs of Acts 2:17-18?

But most refuse to believe and use their own standards.

Best regards,

Bob Thiel

Many have been confused and used the wrong criteria to assess churches.

Sadly, in the end time, in Revelation 3:14-19 Jesus revealed that even most real Christians would use their criteria, not God’s as they would be part of the “people decide” churches (which is basically what Laodicea means).

P.S. The same former WCG member sent me a follow-up email after I posted this. Here is some of what he wrote (Note: This is a different Mr. … in a different COG than the one alluded to above):

ALSO, I’M NOT HAPPY WITH … IN THIS RESPECT—–I’VE BEEN IN THE CHURCH FOR A WHILE AND ONE OF THE 1ST THINGS I NOTICED IS THAT THEY HAVE LEFT OUT 1/3RD OF THE BIBLE AND THAT PERTAINS TO PROPHECY. I KNOW THIS PANDEMIC CAUGHT THEM UNAWARE AS MR. … DIDN’T CALL FOR A PRAYER AND FAST INTIL THE PANDEMIC WAS IN FULL FORCE. SOME WATCHMAN

I WROTE A PERSONAL LETTER TO MR. … ADVISING HIM THAT ALL SCRIPTURE IS TO BE TAUGHT, AND HE NEEDS TO CRY OUT AND SPARE NOT. THE LATEST ISSUE OF OUR MAGAZINE FINALLY WOKE THEM UP AS THERE WERE SEVERAL MEANINGFUL ARTICLES REGARDING THE TIMES AND PROPHECY ALSO, HE SAID THAT THEY NEED TO DO A BETTER JOB IN BEING A WATCHMAN. THIS IS THE 1ST TIME IN 25 YEARS THAT THEY STARTED TO WAKE UP ON PROPHECY.

My response to the above was to tell him that the COG he attends as well as a group that came out of it do not teach much about prophecy. They also have a lot of prophetic errors.  

Crackpot Prophet's 15 Year Long Bitterness Causes Him To Lash Out Once Again at LCG and PCG - They Are Too Stupid To Know When The Tribulation Starts

In December 2011 Bob Thiel submitted wording changes to Living Church of God’s Statement of Official Beliefs. Charlotte evangelists and ministers allegedly nodded along like they always did whenever Bob opened his mouth, stroking his overinflated ego. By the end of January 2012 the Great Tribulation paragraph was supposed to start at Daniel 11:39 instead of 11:40, because Herbert Armstrong once said something that later got a better translation, and because “Jacob’s trouble” must line up with an attack on the “strongest fortresses” (read: the United States and its British-descended cousins) before the King of the North whirlwinds into the King of the South.

LCG never changed it. As of 2026, their official statement still cites Daniel 11:40–45. Thiel left in late 2012 in a bitter fit of rage and founded the improperly named "Continuing" Church of God, and has spent the subsequent decade and a half reminding the entire universe that they promised him they would change it, but they never did. The grievance has outlived Roderick Meredith. It has outlived multiple world crises that were supposed to be the crisis. It has become its own liturgical calendar: the Feast of Unimplemented Changes.

This is not “love of the truth.” This is a man who treated a parenthetical citation like a marriage vow and then wrote a memoir about the divorce every year.

Armstrongite prophecy is a fear-management system dressed as truth. British-Israelism tells you that America and Britain are Ephraim and Manasseh; therefore, every bad headline is God spanking His favorite grandchildren. The King of the North (a German-led European beast, Holy Roman Empire 2.0) is coming to smash the “strongest fortresses.” The King of the South (an Arab/Muslim coalition south of Jerusalem) will “push,” get overrun, and then the real fireworks start. The TRUE Philadelphians get first-class tickets to Petra and their premium choice of caves. Everyone else is Laodicean and late for the bus and will be either taken as salves to Europe or butchered in the most gruesome manner. After all, Armstrongism requires the butchery to be the most gruesome ever imagined.

Thankfully, new covenant Christianity does not require you to live inside this delusional bubble Thiel has created.

Jesus did not say “blessed are those who correctly sequence Daniel 11:39 versus 11:40 so they can flee on time.” He said the hour is coming when true worshipers worship in spirit and truth, not on this mountain or that one. He said no one knows the day or the hour. He said do not be anxious about tomorrow. The new covenant is “I will remember their sins no more,” not “update your statement of beliefs or you lose the mantle and die in the tribulation.”

You do not have to decode whether “he” in verse 39 is already dividing the land for gain with a strange god before the king of the south pushes in verse 40. You do not have to treat Herbert Armstrong’s WWII-era reading, later adjusted, then re-litigated by a delusional self-appointed prophet, as the hinge of salvation history. The gospel is not a prophecy chart with a “place of safety” checkbox.

Armstrongism turned the Bible into a national-identity decoder ring and then a loyalty test: if your group won’t adopt my sequence, it cannot hold the Philadelphia mantle and therefore cannot finish the work. That is not New Testament Christianity. That is franchise warfare with extra proof-texting.

Daniel 11 is a long, detailed chapter that tracks the post-Alexander world: Ptolemies in the south (Egypt) versus Seleucids in the north (Syria), then later Rome absorbing the northern role. Armstrongism projects the end of the chapter onto the end of the world:

• King of the North = the final European revival of the Holy Roman Empire / Beast system, frequently German-centered, often with a religious figure riding along (Baron Karl-Theodor zu Guttenberg). This power supposedly first hits the modern descendants of Israel (US/UK/Canada/Australia/NZ) and later the Middle East.
• King of the South = a coming Islamic or Arab confederacy, classically Egypt-led or a broader caliphate-style bloc “south of Jerusalem.”

The intra-COG fight Thiel is still having is almost comically small: does the Great Tribulation begin when the northern king goes after the Anglo-American “strongest fortresses” (v. 39, Thiel’s hill), or when he later collides with the southern king (v. 40, LCG/PCG wording)? Both camps agree the US and Britain are prophetic Israel, Europe is the bad guy, Muslims are the other bad guy, and their own tiny group is the one that will know when to run. They just disagree on which verse number starts the horror movie.

HWA originally tied some of this to WWII-era events and a KJV rendering of v. 39 that is less clear than later translations. Thiel’s argument is that Armstrong later shifted and that LCG leaders privately agreed in 2008 and 2011. Whether that hallway conversation happened exactly as remembered is now less important than the fact that it is still the main character in 2026 blog posts.

COG history after Armstrong is a demolition derby of “the other guys lost the mantle.” Global became Living after Meredith was ousted. Living produced Continuing after Thiel decided integrity and footnotes had fled Charlotte. Philadelphia Church of God, Restored, United, and dozens of smaller letters-of-the-alphabet groups all claim to be the faithful remnant. Each one has a slightly different chart, a slightly different villain, and a slightly different reason the others are Laodicean.

Thiel additionally claims prophetic status: dreams, a “double portion” anointing that an LCG minister later said he didn’t intend as a prophet ordination AND that NO ONE can verify ever happened as Thiel said it did, and a running list of world events that “align.” Just because “something vaguely Europe or Middle-East-shaped happened this year” is not the same as “thus saith the Lord.” Thiel loves to boast that he doesn’t take a salary and continuously lets us know he writes an astonishing volume of material. Both can be true. Neither requires you to fear missing the exact verse where Jacob’s trouble begins.

The ongoing bitterness is the proof. A person who left over integrity in 2012 and then spent fifteen years cataloging the same unkept promise is not practicing good theology. He is keeping a wound warm. LCG’s refusal to swap 11:40 for 11:39 in a document most members will never parse is treated as proof they cannot lead the final phase of the work. That is an extraordinary amount of spiritual weight to hang on a citation.

New covenant people can say the obvious thing: if your faith requires you to win an argument about the start-verse of the tribulation against a group you left in 2012, you might have mistaken the appendix for the gospel. The new covenant alternative is almost offensively simple: trust Christ, love people, stop treating speculative timelines by deluded self-appointed prophets as a membership exam, and let a 2011 memo stay in 2011. The end of the age will not be delayed because LCG used the wrong verse number in an article. It also will not arrive faster because Thiel is still nursing a massive butthurt.

Here is is the change I explained and then I submitted in writing to the Charlotte-based evangelists in December 2011 on that topic. They agreed to use the following in their Statement of Official Beliefs by the end of January 2012:

THE “GREAT TRIBULATION”

The Bible speaks of a time of great catastrophe, called the “Great Tribulation” (Matthew 24:21-22; Daniel 11:39[xxiv]-45; 12:1; Luke 21:19-36)—also called “Jacob’s trouble” (Jeremiah 30:3-7). Jesus Christ Himself will have to shorten those horrific days; otherwise “no flesh would be saved” (Matthew 24:22). We believe that we are fast approaching that time.   We also believe that God promises to protect the faithful Philadelphians from this “hour of trial” (Revelation 3:10).[xxv]

Here are the related footnotes that were submitted as partial explanations of the proposed changes:

[xxiv] Since we teach that the Great Tribulation is the time of Jacob’s trouble (Jeremiah 30:7) and Herbert Armstrong taught that it would begin with something like a nuclear attack on the UK and/or USA, we should not start it with Daniel 11:40 which shows the battle between the King of the North and the King of the South. Verse 39 shows the King of the North going against the “strongest fortresses” (NKJV) and dividing the land for gain. And since we teach that the King of the North will go against the British-Israelite nations first, we should not teach that he goes against the King of the South first. All the HQ evangelists specifically agreed to that sequence in a meeting with me in January 2008 and this would be a good time to modify the Statement to reflect this.

[xxv] Elsewhere in the Statement we mention being Philadelphian. By adding this to the Statement we give outsiders (as well as our own members and those with a WCG background) a reason to understand that God plans to show the Philadelphians special favor.

Yet, despite agreeing, LCG still has not made the corrections over 14 years later.

In the sequence of Daniel 11, the Great Tribulation begins in verse 39, not verse 40. Now there appear to be two reasons that LCG and PCG misunderstand the sequence. First is that the late Herbert W. Armstrong originally taught that sequence because of events related to WWII and a mistranslation of verse 39 in the KJV (which was corrected in the NKJV). Although Herbert Armstrong clearly changed his position by 1979, the leaders of LCG and PCG have overlooked/discounted that. The second reason could be based upon a misunderstanding of a translation of Daniel 11:39-40:

39 Thus shall he do in the most strong holds with a strange god, whom he shall acknowledge and increase with glory: and he shall cause them to rule over many, and shall divide the land for gain.

40 And at the time of the end shall the king of the south push at him: and the king of the north shall come against him like a whirlwind, with chariots, and with horsemen, and with many ships; and he shall enter into the countries, and shall overflow and pass over. (Daniel 11:39-40, KJV)

The above does not make it clear that the King of the North (the ‘he’ in verse 39) is going against the ‘strongest fortresses like the NKJV and other translations do. Notice a Jewish translation:

39 And he shall deal with the strongest fortresses with the help of a foreign god; whom he shall acknowledge, shall increase glory; and he shall cause them to rule over many, and shall divide the land for a price.

40 And at the time of the end shall the king of the south push at him; and the king of the north shall come against him like a whirlwind, with chariots, and with horsemen, and with many ships; and he shall enter into the countries, and shall overflow, as he passes through. (Daniel 11:39-40, Jewish Publication Society, 1917)

Some seem to believe that the ‘time of the end’ does not begin until verse 40, but that is a misunderstanding of how the Hebrew text should be understood. The ‘and’ in verse 40 is not the start of the end, but a continuation of what began in verse 39. This is known by others. For example, the Barnes Notes on the Bible states:

And at the time of the end …. The “time of the end” must properly denote the end or consummation of the series of events under consideration, or the matter in hand, and properly and obviously means here the end or consummation of the transactions which had been referred to in the previous part of the vision. It is equivalent to what we should say by expressing it thus: “at the winding up of the affair.”

The ONLY way to reconcile that the time of Jacob’s trouble (Jeremiah 30:7) starts with the beginning of the Great Tribulation (Matthew 24:21) is to realize that it begins with verse 39 of the sequence in Daniel 11. Those who hold to a start of the Great Tribulation AFTER the King of the North attacks the King of the South will not know until it is too late.

For an English language reader, on the surface verse 40 seems correct as the start of the end, meaning the Great Tribulation there.

Yet, notice the following translation:

40 And in the time of the end the king of the south shall wage war with him: and the king of the north shall rush on like a tempest against him, with chariot and with horsemen, and with many ships; and he came into the lands, and overflowed and passed through. (Daniel 11:40, Smith’s Literal Translation)

The above makes more sense

Armstrongism: A Failed Work of Men

 

Armstrongism: A Failed Work of Men

 

Herbert and Garner Ted Armstrong are long dead, and the Worldwide Church of God which they built no longer exists! There isn’t anything left of the Ambassador College which they founded and operated. The defeat and captivity of the United States, Armageddon and the establishment of God’s Kingdom failed to materialize in their lifetimes. Herbert Armstrong’s designated successor changed or eliminated many of his most cherished doctrines. Moreover, NONE of the men who have set about the task of perpetuating his teachings has remained completely faithful to Armstrong’s teachings, and NONE of them have been able to establish an effective outreach to the world. So, what is the legacy of Armstrongism? Was it a work of men OR a work of God?

We read in Matthew’s account of Christ’s Sermon on the Mount that Jesus told his disciples to: “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? So, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, you will recognize them by their fruits.” (Matthew 7:15-20, ESV) Did Herbert Armstrong’s prophecies come to pass? What are the fruits of Armstrongism? Did the tree that he planted bear good or bad fruit? Wasn’t that tree cut down and destroyed?

In the book of Acts, we are informed that the apostles were arrested for preaching about Jesus and brought before the Jewish Council. In that account, we read that one of the leading Pharisees named Gamaliel addressed the assembly and warned them about the ramifications of what they were doing. He said: “Men of Israel, take care what you are about to do with these men. For before these days Theudas rose up, claiming to be somebody, and a number of men, about four hundred, joined him. He was killed, and all who followed him were dispersed and came to nothing. After him Judas the Galilean rose up in the days of the census and drew away some of the people after him. He too perished, and all who followed him were scattered. So, in the present case I tell you, keep away from these men and let them alone, for if this plan or this undertaking is of man, it will fail; but if it is of God, you will not be able to overthrow them. You might even be found opposing God! (Acts 5:35-39, ESV) In other words, whether this Jesus movement was of men or of God would soon become clear to everyone! It would either collapse under its own weight, or it would thrive because of God’s blessing!

Now, we all know that the Armstrongs are dead, and that the Worldwide Church of God no longer exists. What does that tell you? Do you have eyes to see and ears to hear? Everything that we have observed tells me that Armstrongism produced the fruit of failed prophecies, strife, division, hatred, and ruined lives. Likewise, everything that we’ve observed informs me that Armstrongism was a work of men – that it was NOT a work of God! After all, Christ once told Peter that he would build his Church, “and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.” (Matthew 16:18, ESV) Did the “gates of hell” prevail against the Armstrongs and the organization which they founded? If so, then maybe it’s time to reevaluate your commitment to those teachings and the groups which seek to perpetuate them? OR Will you be the only one left standing when they turn the lights out at your former meeting place for the last time? The verdict has been in on Armstrongism for three decades – what about YOU?

Lonnie Hendrix

Rhinestones, Books, and Hospitals vs. Plaques, Scandals, and Endless Splits

Armstrongism had a real knack for denigrating anyone outside their exclusive little circle—especially if they were an entertainer, and heaven forbid, a professed Christian entertainer. Nothing set Herbert Armstrong’s blood boiling more than country music. Yet the man would happily sink into the velvet cushions of the Ambassador Auditorium and elsewhere, reveling in grand operas dripping with adultery, murder, and every other sin that Armstrongites supposedly held in such high disdain. Oh, the sheer hypocrisy of it all—the self-proclaimed apostle of purity getting his cultural high from highbrow debauchery while sneering at the honest, heartfelt twang of ordinary folks. How “godly.”

Today, Dolly Parton died. She was a larger-than-life figure who captured the attention of people from every walk of life, across political parties, racial lines, and cultural boundaries. She grew up in a strict Pentecostal faith-filled home in Tennessee, where gospel music filled the air as her entire family sang. Like many raised in fundamentalism, she later stopped attending church regularly and said the most important part of her day was talking to God by herself in the mornings. She wrote many songs about God, faith, love, and hope. She believed that true faith means loving everyone without conditions, supporting people from all walks of life, and avoiding hypocrisy.

Dolly Parton passed away on August 25, 2026, at the age of 80 in Nashville after a brief battle with cancer, surrounded by loved ones. Her husband of nearly 60 years, Carl Dean, had predeceased her in 2025.

A Jewish woman wrote today:

Dolly passed away at 80 years old today.She was a woman of strong faith-the healthy kind. Although I am Jewish, I have many Christian friends who have demonstrated,as Dolly did, what it means to truly follow Christ's teachings. Unlike the phonies that we snark about here, she was the complete opposite. I wish more people were like her, in every faith. She embraced everyone regardless of race, religion,sexual orientation, and nationality. She not only talked the talk, she walked the walk.

Another person wrote:

In 1988 Dolly Parton pulled every 7th and 8th grader in Sevier County into a room and told them to pick a buddy. She made them sign a contract.. if BOTH graduate, she hands you both $500. One fails, nobody gets paid. The county dropout rate went from 35% to 6%. She handed out the checks herself. 

In 1989 she offered $500 to every kid in the county who wanted to go to the local college. 

 

When Gatlinburg burned in 2016, she sent 900 families $1,000 a month for six months. You've probably heard that part. Here's the part you haven't: The fund raised more than expected, so she showed up in May and handed every one of those families another $5,000 on top. Then she quietly put $3 million into the recovery group that handles the years after the news trucks leave. 

She built her county an entire hospital. She played a benefit concert in 2007, Dollywood and the Stampede matched it, and LeConte Medical Center opened in 2010 with a birthing unit and a women's center in it. 

In 2022 she started covering 100% of tuition, books, and fees for Dollywood employees. Full-time, part-time, AND seasonal. 

In 1991 she paid for a bald eagle sanctuary because the birds couldn't be released back into the wild, no press release. 

And when Hurricane Helene came through here in Western North Carolina, she wrote a personal check for $1 million and her companies matched it. She didn't owe North Carolina anything, but she helped us anyway. 

She started the Imagination Library because her daddy couldn't read or write. Before he passed, he told her it was the most important thing she ever did.

So, right now, I know that there is a certain element reading here that is getting all pissy and offended in self-righteous indignation at the mention of Dolly on this blog. So my question is: What will the Churches of God be remembered for in 50 years from now? What will people say about Church of God leaders who ruled their churches with heavy hands and abusive tactics?

What legacy has Herbert Armstrong left in Pasadena? Ninety percent of the city now knows nothing about the guy, other than a few plaques on the dismantled grounds of the old Ambassador Campus. Those that do remember recall all of the scandals and news articles eviscerating the church and its leaders. What lasting legacy has HWA left, other than hundreds and hundreds of splinter groups all claiming they are the one and only true church and that they and they alone are the best? What has Bob Thiel, Dave Pack, or Gerald Flurry ever given us that was meaningful and worthwhile? Endless “prophetic” updates that somehow never quite land, demands for more tithes to keep their personal empires humming, and the constant reminder that everyone else is wrong while they alone hold the keys to the kingdom. A true monument to humility and service, no doubt—scattered little kingdoms more skilled at condemning the world (and each other) than actually lifting a finger to help it.

A lot of the major religions (Catholic and Protestant) formed the first schools of learning in Europe and the US, though today most have drifted from their religious roots. Churches have built hospitals, nursing homes, retirement communities, schools, and much more. All of the Ambassador Colleges have been sold and now dismantled, either bought by another cult or torn down to make housing for the elite. Other than Ambassador Auditorium, there is no legacy of the church passing anything on to their communities.

What will our legacy be as a church? At the present moment in COG history it is rather a shitty mess.

At whatever point in time Dolly meets her moment of glory and in whatever location it might be, she will be told: “Well done, my good and faithful servant!”

UCG: New Generation Incoming! Quick, Someone Tell Them We’ve Been Busily Being ‘Almost Ready’ Since the ’90s

Thirty Years of “Almost There”: 

UCG’s Epic Journey to Finally Doing the Work

Ah, yes, the United Church of God Council of Elders Report. Always a treasure trove of understated comedy. John Elliott, in a recent report, delivers the kind of announcement that would make any corporate consultant weep with envy: 

We have now reached a position where we are ready to perform—to do the Work in an enhanced way. We have a number of quality publications like Beyond Today, United News and Compass Check. With Council collaboration, we will begin focusing on setting other objectives for enhancing our target initiatives.

Thirty. Years.  That’s not a typo. After three full decades of existing as an organization, the United Church of God has finally arrived at the position where it is ready to “do the Work in an enhanced way.” One can only imagine the collective sigh of relief echoing through the halls: “At last! The warm-up is over. Time to start the actual race.”  

What, pray tell, was the previous 30 years for? According to the unofficial highlight reel that everyone outside the Council seems to remember: constructing buildings, assembling a staff roster that would make a mid-sized university jealous, and—of course—the occasional enthusiastic splintering. Nothing says “urgent proclamation of the gospel” quite like another round of organizational charts and real-estate closings.

Elliott continues with the inspiring vision: 

Operations for Ministerial and Member Services have been enhanced with the addition of new senior managers specifically managing Member Services and International Services. Media and Communications Services has a beautiful opportunity to provide our members with quality material. There is so much advertising everywhere that our message is getting lost to the public. We need to pray that God will open doors… 

 

Yes, the message is getting lost in the noise of modern advertising. Shocking. Perhaps if the previous three decades hadn’t been spent perfecting the art of internal bureaucracy and “growing relationships,” the public might have noticed a bit sooner. But no matter—new senior managers are here! Collaboration is blooming! Weekly meetings with the Chairman! Monthly chats with committee heads! Cohesive modules! The machinery of oneness is humming.

And let’s not forget the youth: 

A new generation is coming on—we need to encourage them with a firm foundation for the great work that God wants to do. There is a tendency to compare accomplishments in our current work to the work that was done in the past… ‘…be strong, all you people of the land,’ says the Lord, ‘and work; for I am with you… 

 

The classic Haggai pivot. Don’t you dare compare today’s “enhanced” efforts to the past. That would be unfair—especially when the past was spent mostly getting ready to get ready. The younger generation must be so thrilled to inherit this firm foundation of “we’re finally positioned.” Nothing engages the youth like watching their elders congratulate themselves on three decades of preparatory harmony while the actual Work waits politely in the lobby.

So here we are in 2026, after 30 years of buildings, bloated staffing, and the occasional organizational divorce, UCG has reached the summit. They are ready. They will now begin focusing on objectives. They will pray for open doors. They will demonstrate oneness.  

One can only wonder what the next 30 years will look like once they actually start. Perhaps another round of senior managers. Or a really nice new building. Or—dare we dream—an “even more enhanced” way of doing the Work.  

In the meantime, the rest of us will try not to compare. As the prophet (and the Council) reminds us: just be strong… and wait for the next report.

We have now reached a position where we are ready to perform—to do the Work in an enhanced way. We have a number of quality publications like Beyond Today, United News and Compass Check. With Council collaboration, we will begin focusing on setting other objectives for enhancing our target initiatives. 

 

Operations for Ministerial and Member Services have been enhanced with the addition of new senior managers specifically managing Member Services and International Services. 

 

Media and Communications Services has a beautiful opportunity to provide our members with quality material. There is so much advertising everywhere that our message is getting lost to the public. We need to pray that God will open doors and show the way to reach those whom He wants us to reach. 

 

In 1 Corinthians 12:25, we read that all of the members of the body should have the same care for one another. Mr. Elliott thanked everyone for pursuing oneness over the past year. Biblical unity and harmony are some things that Jesus Christ died for so that we can be one with God and each other. We will really shine as Christ’s disciples by the love that we will show and the oneness that we will demonstrate. 

 

Mr. Elliott thanked the Council and the administration for a great year of growing relationships and the wonderful strides that have been made in collaboration, respect and doing our work in harmony. He mentioned that he meets with Chairman Pebworth each week and with the Council Committee heads monthly. We need each other and we are growing together in cohesive modules that are doing the work of God. 

 

Mr. Elliott is encouraging discussions about how we can accomplish this work ever more effectively. A new generation is coming on—we need to encourage them with a firm foundation for the great work that God wants to do. There is a tendency to compare accomplishments in our current work to the work that was done in the past. In Haggai, there is an important lesson urging us not to compare today’s efforts with those of the past. To those who had returned from Babylon and constructed a less spectacular second temple, God said, “‘…be strong, all you people of the land,’ says the Lord, ‘and work; for I am with you,’ says the Lord of hosts” (Haggai 2:3-4).

Jesus Is Coming Back… to Enforce the Shadow While the Substance Sits in the Front Row Looking Confused

 

The Importance of Truth (Armstrongism Edition)

Or: How to Preach John 8:32 While Running a Multi-Decade Fact-Free Zone

Jesus said, “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

Beautiful verse. Timeless.

Now watch the Living Church of God, and the rest of the certified Armstrongist truth-cartel, try to weaponize it with a straight face.

Doug Winnail earnestly informs us that we live in an age of misinformation, fake news, and conspiracy theories. Satan is the real author of confusion. Prophets of old warned that truth would perish. And when Jesus finally returns, Jerusalem will become “the City of Truth,” and the liberating truth of His law will blanket the planet—thanks, of course, to the faithful remnant He is currently calling (i.e., whoever still mails in the tithe checks).

Because nothing says “we are the guardians of truth” quite like a theological movement that has spent the better part of a century cranking out failed prophecies the way a bakery cranks out doughnuts. Herbert Armstrong’s “1975 in Prophecy” aged about as well as milk left on a dashboard in July. The successive waves of “this is the year,” “the Great Tribulation starts next Tuesday,” and “Christ returns before I die” from the various splinter apostles have been so consistently wrong that the only remaining mystery is why anyone still treats the next prediction as anything other than performance art.

And the current flock of certified truth-merchants? 

• Bob Thiel, the self-anointed prophet who discovers new “truths” with the same reliability as a Magic 8-Ball on a bumpy road. 
• Gerald Flurry, still insisting the Philadelphia Church of God is the sole repository of pure doctrine while the rest of the world is Laodicean trash. 
• David Pack, whose “Christ will return by [insert date that has already expired]” series has more reboots than a comic-book franchise. 
• Ronald Weinland, the convicted felon who announced the Day of the Lord so many times the calendar itself filed a restraining order.

These are the men (and the organizations they lead) who now lecture the world about the “global epidemic of misinformation.” The irony is so thick you could spread it on unleavened bread and call it a holy day.

Then comes the theological head-scratcher that Winnail’s little Sabbath pep-talk never bothers to address.

The law—the very law they insist will be enforced worldwide when Christ returns—was, according to the same New Testament they selectively quote, a shadow. A tutor. A pointer. It pointed to Him.  

So the plan, apparently, is this:

Jesus returns in glory, the King of kings, the One to whom the entire sacrificial system, the Sabbaths, the holy days, and the clean-and-unclean distinctions were pointing…

…and His first official act is to reinstate the shadow and force everyone to keep it forever.   

 

It’s like the entire movie building up to the hero’s reveal, only for the hero to walk on stage and announce, “Great news, everyone—we’re going back to the trailer!”

What, exactly, was the point of the incarnation, the cross, the resurrection, and the entire “I have come to fulfill” speech if the endgame is just “keep the law harder this time, under divine martial law”?  

Armstrongism’s answer is essentially: “Because we said so, and if you question it you’re Laodicean.”  

Which brings us full circle.

The same people who spent decades moving the prophetic goalposts, rewriting history, and demanding absolute loyalty while the facts changed underneath them now want us to believe they are the ones who will usher in the “City of Truth.” 

Sure.

And I’m the King of the North.

Have a profitable Sabbath, everyone.
Just don’t look too closely at the invoice—or the track record.

The Importance of Truth: Jesus said, “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” (John 8:32). Today, we face a global epidemic of misinformation, fake news, and conspiracy theories that generate mistrust of the media, governments, individuals, and major institutions. The Bible reveals that Satan is the god of this age and that he is a liar and the real author of the confusion we see around us (2 Corinthians 4:4; John 8:44; 1 Corinthians 14:33). The ancient prophets foretold that the time would come when truth would perish and be suppressed (Isaiah 59:4, 14–15; Jeremiah 7:28; 9:3–5; Romans 1:18). However, when Jesus Christ returns, His capital of Jerusalem will be known as “the City of Truth,” and the liberating truth of His law will be spread around the world by His servants He is calling today (Zechariah 8:1–3; Psalm 119:142; Isaiah 2:2–4; 11:9; 1 John 3:19). This is your exciting future—if you hold fast to the truth (1 Thessalonians 5:21).

Have a profitable Sabbath,

Douglas S. Winnai

Gerald Flurry’s Masterclass in Irony: Preaching Forgiveness While Enforcing Family Exile

 

Christ’s sacrifice and resurrection do not make any of us “worthy” in the sense of earning God’s favor through our own effort. Scripture is blunt: every human being is a sinner who falls short (Romans 3:23). None is righteous on their own (Romans 3:10). Our righteousness is like filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6). What the cross and empty tomb do accomplish is far better. God made the sinless Christ to be sin for us so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God (2 Corinthians 5:21). While we were still sinners, Christ died for us; we are justified by His blood (Romans 5:8-9). Salvation is by grace through faith—not of ourselves, it is the gift of God, not of works (Ephesians 2:8-9). The believer’s standing is Christ’s perfect righteousness credited to them, not something they must continually earn or maintain by institutional loyalty, endless self-improvement, or returning to a particular group. Philippians 3:9 puts it plainly: not a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ.  Colossians 1:12 even uses language of being “qualified” or “made meet” to share in the inheritance—not because we worked harder, but because the Father has already done it through the Son. This is finished work. It is not a treadmill of perpetual proving.Gerald Flurry’s brand-new book, The Father’s Love, whose introduction (published in the September 2026 Philadelphia Trumpet) takes Jesus’ parable of the prodigal son in Luke 15 and turns it into an urgent appeal to “God’s prodigal sons”—specifically those Flurry labels Laodiceans who have left his Philadelphia Church of God. Flurry correctly notes that the father in the parable represents God the Father. The younger son demands his inheritance, leaves, squanders everything, and finally “comes to himself.” He returns rehearsing a speech of unworthiness: “I am no more worthy to be called thy son.” The father sees him from a great way off, runs, embraces, kisses, and restores him completely—best robe, ring, shoes, fatted calf—without a single lecture. Flurry writes movingly of the father’s joy and of heaven’s rejoicing over one sinner who repents. He insists God is waiting with open arms for anyone who leaves “His Church” and returns in repentance. He also addresses the older brother, urging faithful members to share the father’s heart. All of that is true to the text of Luke 15. The irony is so thick you could cut it with a knife.  For roughly two decades, Gerald Flurry has enforced a strict no-contact policy that requires PCG members to completely sever relationships with former members and anyone deemed “Laodicean”—including their own parents, children, siblings, and closest friends—except in very narrow cases involving an unconverted spouse who is “pleased to dwell,” or you are one of the PCG elite where this rule has never applied.In a December 2005 Pastor General’s Report and subsequent sermons, Flurry clarified that partial contact (“as long as religion is not discussed”) is not forbidden, but later he  said the cut-off is to be total. He has described the pain this causes as useful: God wants the “sting” of shunning to drive people back. Former members and their families have documented years of silence, broken marriages, children cut off from grandparents, and in at least one tragic case a daughter’s body returned only after years of enforced separation. So the same organization that has systematically broken families in the name of “protecting the Church” is now publishing a book that celebrates a father who runs to the returning son and refuses even to let him finish his speech of unworthiness. Flurry tells “prodigals” that the Father is watching the horizon. Meanwhile, his own policy has instructed loyal members to keep those same people firmly off the horizon. The parable’s father never demanded the son rejoin a specific human organization or submit to a particular man’s government before the embrace. He simply saw repentance and rejoiced. Flurry’s version quietly inserts an extra condition: return to this church, accept this authority structure, and then the kisses and the feast can begin. That is not the father’s heart in Luke 15. That is institutional control dressed up in biblical language. True worthiness before God is not restored by crawling back into any human group. It was secured once for all at the cross and confirmed by the resurrection. Believers already stand clothed in Christ’s righteousness. They do not have to keep working to become worthy; they already are declared so by grace through faith. Any teaching that turns the father’s open arms into a recruitment tool for a particular organization has missed the point of the parable—and of the gospel itself. Flurry’s book may move some readers with its description of divine compassion. The lived history of the Philadelphia Church of God under his leadership tells a very different story about how that compassion has actually been practiced toward those who walked away. The contrast is not subtle. It is the definition of irony.

The Suspenders of Doom: How One Man in Iowa Just Demoted Germany and Promoted Trump to Full-Time Beast

 

God's greatest gift to the church (after Bob Thiel, of course) is Samuel Kitchen—the self-appointed restorer of the last true remnant of the Worldwide Church of God, just did a video broadcast straight from what appears to be a red-curtain bacchanal in one of those trailers at Stateline behind the casinos on your way to Vegas (or is that the official “ripped-off photo from Pasadena headquarters from the 1980s?). And what a fashion statement our new fearless end-time watchman was as he heralded in the imminent Beast system! Red shirt to symbolize the scarlet beast and black suspenders to symbolize its two horns.  

Yes, brethren. Nothing says “I am the sole authorized spokesman of the New and Improved Worldwide Church of God, holder of the sacred name, collector of tithes, owner of the greatest aggregator of COG literature since Ron Stephens, and sole possessor of the official COG decoder ring for the Bible, quite like dressing like a 1950s short-order cook on Route 66.  

In this latest prophetic masterpiece titled “Donald Trump…Future Beast?” (59 whole views and counting!), our suspendered sage continues his noble quest of recycling Herbert W. Armstrong’s greatest hits—British-Israelism, Germany-as-Assyria, place of safety in Petra, the whole dusty catalog—except now he’s improvising. Apparently the classic “man from Germany” Assyrian plot twist is getting a little stale, so why not pivot mid-sentence and declare that the Beast might actually be…Donald Trump? 

Half-German, half-whatever, building a great economy, auditing the nation like a cosmic receiver, and preparing to be possessed by Satan for a tidy 3½ years.  

Brilliant. 

Decades of meticulous Armstrongist charts proving the Beast rises from a United States of Europe just got yeeted into the Iowa cornfields because one man in suspenders had a new revelation while blabbering in front of the beastly red curtain. 

The Worldwide Church of God “fell into the hands of apostates,” you see, so only Samuel can now properly warn the world that looking “across the pond” for the Beast is so 1986. Look in the backyard instead! Or the Oval Office! Or wherever the algorithm points next week!  

Truly the cutting edge of 21st-century prophecy. Dave Pack, Bob Thiel and Gerald Flurry are shaking in their boots right now.