We're All a Little Haunted...Or Alot!
Whether one likes or agrees with the term or
concept, we all have that little ghost in the machine that comes out
when the addiction to keeping up with this or other blogs having to do
with the experience of the Wild World Church of God needs to feed or
process itself. Eckhart Tolle calls it the "Pain Body" and that term
works fine for me. I certainly see it in myself and know when it wants
to feed.
It's the pain body in us all the gets cheeky,
critical, sarcastic, tell it to me one more time or yells, "shut the
hell up!" It's the pain body that challenges and tells the stories of
the past with more anger and more bitterness in them than ever. Its the
pain body that wants to feed on every topic that comes up like an
addiction. If you don't believe me, drop commenting here on this blog
about anything that comes up. See if you can. Or if you merely lurk
here and have you're own "this is my story and this is MY belief" blog
and can feed the pain body there, try dropping the need to do that.
Mostly it won't work.
I dropped Face Book a few weeks back. So far
so good. I realized that most of the friends there were merely
electronic ones and I'd never really interact with them in any real
life. Did I want to know or need to know when they got up, or what they
had for dessert? Did I really feel that posting this or that would
help anyone much? No, it didn't. The only comments I got on FB was
when I showed a pic of Chewy the Shih Tzu or told a story about how
hilarious she is. Politics? Religion? Great You-tube video on the
universe or some positive way to think or be...not much. There were
people keeping track of me for their own sense of something, but those
people never actually talked to me or communicated, and so I put an end
to it. Everything in me wants to go back! Part of me needs to feed on
it! At least I managed to avoid getting suckered by and time
wasted playing Farmville!!! I did have to laugh when a friend got
really pissed at everyone because they no one would help her "build a
barn." The barn did not exist in space and time. The anger towards
friends falsely so called was real as were the angry comments directed
towards them for not helping. It was rather sad. I wrote her and
mentioned that she's really angry at real friends over a really
imaginary barn. She got mad at me for bringing that up.
Farmville was where her painbody played.
Banned HWA is where my painbody plays. I
also am grateful for when I can keep that ghost under control as Banned
HWA also allows me to process the experience and share a bigger view of
the Bible and the story that I have allowed myself to study since.
However, I have also seen that sharing a bigger view of Bible Origins,
errancy issues, astro-theological realities of the book, the politics of
the New Testament and how Peter, James , John and Paul all got along
(not) are not topics pain bodies care much about.
I will always have an interest in theology no
matter my personal view or practice of it. I want to know what I did
not know about it all.
So here for your consideration and perhaps for
a little introspection is the best definition of the Pain Body I can
find. I do appreciate the teachings of Eckhart Tolle. Others I know do
not and that's ok. Tolle emphasises living in the now which is really
the only moment we really have. The past is where our anger and
depression lie and the future provides us with plenty of anxiety. We
might notice that the COGs live more in the future with everything
"soon," "just around the corner," "3-5," and "we are living in the
last days," I figure at my age, I'm living in the last days no matter
if we all are or not. My last days..." Perhaps we hurt ourselves as
much by foaming about the past and about "my story," as they do by
living in some eternal anticipation that may just disappoint and find
them going to the grave like the billions before them. I'm just
sayin...
For your consideration. This just seems right to me...
"There is such a thing as old emotional pain living
inside you. It is an accumulation of painful life experience that was
not fully faced and accepted in the moment it arose. It leaves behind an
energy form of emotional pain. It comes together with other energy
forms from other instances, and so after some years you have a
"painbody," an energy entity consisting of old emotion.
It lives in human beings, and it is the emotional aspect of egoic
consciousness. When the ego is amplified by the emotion of the painbody,
the ego has enormous strength still -- particularly at those times. It
requires very great presence so that you can be there as the space also
for your painbody, when it arises.
That is everybody's job here -- to be there, to recognize the painbody
when it shifts from dormant to active, when something triggers a very
strong emotional reaction. At that moment, when it does take over your
mind, the internal dialogue, which is dysfunctional at the best of
times, now becomes the voice of the painbody talking to you internally.
Everything it says is deeply colored by the old, painful emotion of the
painbody. Every interpretation, everything it says, every judgment about
your life, about other people, about a situation you are in, will be
totally distorted by the old emotional pain.
If you are not there as the space for it, you are identified with the
painbody and you believe every negative thought that it is telling you.
If you are alone, the painbody will feed on every negative thought that
arises, and get more energy. That's why it's become active -- after it
does that for a while, you can't stop thinking, at night, or whenever it
is. The painbody is feeding, and after a few hours, it's had enough.
You feel a little depleted. And then it happens again a few weeks later,
or few days later.
The painbody would feel even better if it could feed on somebody
else's reaction. Your partner would be a favorite person. And it will,
if there is somebody around, or family situations. Our pain bodies love
families. And it will just provoke this person, your partner or whoever
it is. The painbody knows exactly what the thing is that will trigger a
negative response. Then it says the thing that is going to really hurt
you. And of course, if you are not absolutely present in that moment,
then immediately you will react. And the painbody loves it! Give me more
drama, please!
Both painbodies are now awake, and feeding on each other. Then, a few
hours later, or the next day, the painbodies no longer need it. They are
full, they have replenished themselves. And you can look at each other
and say, "What was that all about?" In some cases, you may not even
remember how it all started. This huge drama started somewhere, and then
one thing led to another. Wasn't it the same two weeks ago?
Can we be present and see if next time we can catch it at its early stage, so that we don't get drawn in totally?
Can we both endeavor to be present for each other, and for ourselves?
See if we can see the first signs of the painbody -- either in
ourselves, or in the other. Immediately realize it, be the space for it,
and if possible -- even voice it to your partner and say "My painbody
got triggered when you said that."
Often, little situations trigger enormous reactions. Be there,
present for it. Your partner will find it easier to see it in you, and
you will find it easier to see it in them. Whether or not you can tell
your partner that his or her painbody has become activated depends on
the degree to which your partner has already been taken over by it. If
you catch it at a very early stage, then some remnant of Consciousness
will still be there in your partner and that remnant will be hearing you
when you say, "Could that be your painbody?" It has to be phrased very
carefully. You may want to add, "Do you remember our agreement?"
If there is still a remnant of
Consciousness then that will be listening to you, and your partner will
be able to be there as the space for his or her painbody. If there is no
remnant of Consciousness in your partner, you will be talking to the
painbody, and the painbody does not like to hear about the painbody. Of
course, it will deny any such thing. "My painbody? Look at yours!"
So, what do you do? Can I be the space for that? While the partner
is there, be the space for that. When you are the space for something,
it does not necessarily mean that you have to stay there. You can be the
space, and then remove yourself. Self observation - this is why being
in the body is an important part of this. Feel the inner body as often
as you can. When an old emotion arises, it will be easier to be present
as it arises.
If you are present, the painbody cannot feed anymore on your thoughts,
or on other people's reactions. You can simply observe it, and be the
witness, be the space for it. Then gradually, its energy will decrease. "
Living in Presence : An Evening With Eckhart Tolle
Dennis C. Diehl
DenniscDiehl@aol.com
