EXCLUSIVE: Upheaval In Church of God Big Sandy and CEM (Christian Educational Ministries)

NOTE:  James Malm, after reading the story below, decided to take the story and spin it in his own usual malevolent way, by making the family the guilty party instead of Havir III.  This is the ongoing narrative that the COG has continued to use for 80 some years as it continues to make excuses or do anything about hundreds and hundreds of pedophiles (not the issue in this case), sexual abusers, stalkers and rapists that have been loose in the church and have been left to roam freely unencumbered.


The following was received from highly reliable confidential sources regarding an explosive situation that is brewing in the Church of God Big Sandy (Dave Havir) and with Christian Education Ministries (Allie Dart.)  COGBS members are deeply concerned over recent events that have rocked the church.

The following is a brief summary from a person (not a member of any COG) who attended the hearing at the Wood County Texas Courthouse on July 6, 2017 concerning David Havir III and his alleged improper relationship with a minor child.   David Havir III is son of Church of God Big Sandy pastor, Dave Havir.

Current board members for Church of God Big Sandy are:

David Havir III (Church Treasurer)

Reg Killingly

Carole Bald

Ronald Avey

Neal McIver

Melody Eishon

Clay Forestiere

A few days before the hearing, David Havir III had been fired as vice president of operations at Ron Dart’s (now deceased) religious organization, Christian Educational Ministries, in Whitehouse Texas.  The current board members of CEM are:

Allie Dart

John Garnant (elder for United Church of God, an International   Association)

John Beasley

Rod Martin

Willie Oxidyne

The week before the hearing, David Havir III was at church youth camp at Timberline Baptist Camp in Lindale Texas.  The camp was sponsored by Church of God Big Sandy. 

In attendance at the hearing were David Havir III, Neal McIver, the minor girl, the girl’s mother (Mrs. Rex), the girl’s father (Mr. Moody), and the minor girl’s 19 year old sister (Karina Moody).  (The minor girl’s parents are divorced.)  There was also a prosecutor representing Wood County, a lawyer representing David Havir III, and a lawyer representing Mr. Moody.

1.    The complaint had been filed by the minor daughter’s mother, Mrs. Rex.  (Case number 2017-357.)

2.    Prosecutor was Jim Wheeler.

3.    The judge was Jeff Fletcher.

4.    At the beginning of the hearing, Mr. Moody stated he was there to support his minor daughter.

5.    The first witness was Mrs. Rex who stated that she was the mother and a member of the Church of God of Big Sandy.  She accused David Havir III of inappropriate conduct with her daughter.  The mother said she saw about 12,000 phone texts that had been sent to the daughter by David Havir III.  The daughter responded with about 9,000 texts back to David Havir III.  Mrs. Rex said that the minor daughter’s personality started changing on March 16, 2017 when Karina and Mrs. Rex were going to go prom dress shopping.  The minor daughter refused to go and wanted to stay with David Havir III.  Mrs. Rex told her that she would not be staying with him and would not be meeting with him.  The minor daughter threw a fit and became very defiant.

6.    There were also photos sent by the minor daughter to David Havir III and the photos were shown to the judge and to Mrs. Rex only.  The prosecutor implied that the pictures were nudes.  

7.    There were also pictures taken of the minor daughter looking out a glass door with Karina and sent to David Havir III from Karina’s and the minor daughter’s phones during their vacation.

8.    The mother also saw the minor daughter and David Havir III ‘snuggling’ on the couch with his arm around the minor daughter.  So Mrs. Rex’s assumption was that, if they snuggled in front of her, then they did it when no one was there.

9.    There was a cybernet app on the phone that the mother tried to use to restrict phone use.

10.Next witness was the minor daughter’s sister, Karina.   Karina said that David Havir III and the minor daughter did ‘snuggle’ on the couch when they were around her.  She said that David Havir III was a father figure to her sister and that he was only trying to help her.  

11.The judge’s ruling was that the relationship with the minor daughter was “definitely inappropriate.”  However, he was not ordering a restraining order at this time, but he “highly recommended” to David Havir III that he needed to change his behavior toward the minor daughter.

Bronze Age Parenting and We'll Keep the Flames of Molech on for Ya!

One thing is for sure...the Bible is not child-friendly. Actually, if you really know the book, Old and New, you will have to admit that small children must not have been much a part of the culture. The first humans were the first parents, Adam and Eve, not the first children so I imagine they have no good childhood memories. Well, actually they have none since they never were children. Their kids, Cain and Abel come on the scene pretty much full grown. No pleasant times frolicking in the Garden of Eden.

They actually show up just in time to have Cain murder his brother and get himself booted out of the Garden by God afraid of those who don't exist killing him, go figure. Seth comes along, pretty much fully grown too. We certainly get no hint that this family every had picnics, hugs or good memories of being glad they had each other. The grown kids marry, who knows who, must be sisters that weren't worth mentioning who also only show up as full-grown women having babies by brothers. Ewwwwwww, but that's the alternative since they had no girls or boys next door to get their attention. There was no next door. Incest was a necessary thing, so say literalists, until they got enough humans on the planet to marry mere cousins and then people you eventually figured you weren't related to, but were.

The main heroes of the Old Testament were adults, who in some cases were given remarkable birth and childhood mythologies to show how great an adult they really were. Often stories from previous or surrounding cultures were borrowed for the baby to show what an amazing adult he was. In the Bible, Old barren women give birth to amazing humans and in the NT, young virgins give birth to gods.

 No hospital ever gave birth to a famous child.  Abe Lincoln was never really a kid until he was a famous adult. Then we find he was so darn honest as a kid, studied by the light of one lone candle by night but did succeed in not being born of a virgin as we might not have taken that all that seriously. You never heard that the child called George Washington, "could not tell a lie," until he was famous. No one waits at the hospital for famous baby to be born. The stories of remarkable children always come when the adult becomes remarkable. After all, remarkable adults must have had remarkable childhoods. This is how Moses, David and Jesus are portrayed, but any idea that we are seeing the lives of real children is illusionary. Amazing adults are pretty ordinary kids I would imagine, unless you are Bible Times adults.

We read about grown armies killing "men, women, and children," but that's just a sanitation problem and incidental to the great exploits of Israel obeying the Loving Heavenly Father. Sometimes the children get murdered in the womb or special attention is paid to the fact that their heads were smashed against the wall. Nice touch there. Sometimes they get sacrificed as in the case or near case of Abraham and Isaac. Great story of childhood ala Bible times. Even though it worked out ok, according to the script, I imagine Isaac was no longer interested in following Dad into the hills for weekend campouts. He prolly wondered what nonsense Dad was into now and passed choosing rather to hid under the table until Dad fell asleep

Here are some of the Bible's greatest childhood hits...

Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod [sceptre], he shall not die.

-- Proverbs 23:13 (AV)

This is really good to know. Beating them was fine and dandy and it doesn't say spank. It says beat with a rod! Hit with a stick. Bash with a hoe. Smash with a sceptre. The reason is because "it won't kill them." Whew...good news there.

Execute stubborn kids

If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son ... Then shall his father and his mother ... bring him out unto the elders of his city ... And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die.

-- Deuteronomy 21:18-21 (AV)

Whoa! Excellent! No attempt to encourage or find out why this might be occurring in the child's life. Prolly is the parents beating him all the time with rods, knowing full well he won't die. He might be mentally ill, but we can attribute that to demons and not take any personal responsibility. The Bible is not big on understanding how one way of being leads to other ways of being or how abuse leads to mental illness. It's all about Dad. It's all about the parents. It's really never about the kids.

Kids killed for mocking hero

Some small boys came out of the city and jeered at [the prophet Elisha], saying, "Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!" And ... he cursed them in the name of the Lord. And two she-bears came out of the woods and tore forty-two of the boys.

-- II Kings 2:23-24 (RSV)

Well, that should teach them. Of course, the kids were making fun of Elisha's boss who was taken up in a fiery chariot and thought Elisha should give it a try. I sense they were skeptical the first rapture happened. At least, they seem not to have been convinced so as not to make fun of the man who took over after the boss left rather abruptly.

God orders child sacrifice

God did tempt Abraham, ... And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest ... and offer him there for a burnt offering...

-- Genesis 22:1-2 (AV)

Oh I know, God didn't really mean it. He was just joshin Abe, but in those days, God's didn't Josh. If you asked God if he loved children, like WC Fields, He would have said, "If they are properly cooked." Kids just had no value and certainly no say in the fantasies of their adult parents.

Daughter: a burnt offering

Jephthah made a vow to the Lord: "If you give the Ammonites into my hands, whatever comes out of the door of my house to meet me when I return ... will be the Lord's, and I will sacrifice it as a burnt offering." ... and the Lord gave them into his hands.... When Jephthah returned to his home..., who should come out to meet him but his daughter, dancing to the sound of tambourines! And he did to her as he had vowed. And she was a virgin.

-- Judges 11:30-32, 34, 39 (NIV)

So in comes his sweetie, Biblical Ipod blaring and pow! "Sorry Sarah, I had a chat with God and told him if I got to win as a Bible man needs to win...well...just follow me. I'll explain it on the way." Of course, Mom just said, "Sarah, do as your father says. Love ya!" Later that night as Jephthah and Mrs. J held each other gently in bed, the both thought back on how the Lord had blessed them even though it had been a difficult day.

I have always been inspired and informed by these two examples of what it was like being a young Bible Times girl.

Woman must marry rapist

If a man [meets] a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her ... He must marry the girl ... He can never divorce her as long as he lives.

-- Deuteronomy 22:28-29 (NIV)

A marriage literally made in heaven! "Ok, I raped you. You want to kill me. You must marry me...me who raped you and we are stuck forever or they will cut both our heads off. Kiss me and act like you mean it."

Virgin women are war booty

"Have you allowed all the women to live?" he [Moses] asked them.... "Now ... kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man."

-- Numbers 31:1-18 (NIV)

"So you like women do you....caught you, caught you! Ok, check out these sweet things _________. If it is not intact, kill the _________. If she is pure and new...keep her for your pleasure and enjoy boys. "I, the Lord, through my Servant Moses, the most meek man on the planet, decree it." Uh huh.

Lets see...New Testament kids that got into the story...

There would be demon possessed ones that Jesus heals. There would be kids that were dead that Jesus and few of the skilled Apostles resurrected, and of course Jesus himself, who had an amazing birth because he was an amazing adult. We have some great stories of Jesus killing some of his playmates for mocking him, but those books didn't make the cut. Oh yes, we have the infants slaughtered by Herod as Mary and family slipped out of town smirking "I know something you don't know," at her neighbors with small children. I know some adults were called "children of the Devil," so that counts I suppose and false churches were called whores but those would be older kids.

No, kids don't make out so good in the Bible. They are used, abused, disowned, fried, burnt, slapped, kicked, hit, beat, sacrificed, speared, sold, eaten, ignored, marginalized and mauled. The famous ones that make it to adulthood get delivered, Angelic choirs, Kingdoms, and babes galore. They get visited by Wise Men, who survived their own childhoods intact but left home as soon as they could, which is why there were called Wise Men. Bible Times were something no kid in his right mind would ever wish to return to. I'm sorry that babies were born in cultures where Bible Times parents were so ignorant of what to do next they just asked the Priests.

There are some kids in this world today who sadly do live in Bible Times. Their parents read the Bible and faithfully follow it's loving guidelines for childrearing and interpersonal family communications. These kids learn that all they need is "the rod of correction," or be told, "because we said so that's why." The often hear, "God is not going to be happy with you," or "you might go to hell for that Johnny." Every week they get to hear the Minister remind parent and child that they must bring up that kid in the way he "should" go, should being relative to whatever the Preacher thinks they should be, so that "when they are old, they will not depart from. it." Of course most depart long before they are old just to recover and get their minds back intact. There are American Bible Times Talibanic parents who are soaked in the childrearing techniques of the Bible (see the list above) every week or most every month. God said it, we practice it, that does it for us. Of course, when the child grows up a bit, they will walk and should.

Go get a concordance or topical Bible and look up "snuggle, kiss, blowbelly, "ahhh boo!", picnic, swimming, hugs, vacation, free time, love you mom, love you dad, love you son, love you sis, sports, college, education, free thinking, respect, reading, children's literature, Goldilocks, quiet time, caress, self-esteem, mental health, smiling, mommy, daddy, bedtime, stuffed animals, puppets, cookout, fishing, zoo, did I say "blow bellies?" .... oh you know, the good words. Good luck... and we'll keep the flames of Molech on for ya

Why Psychopaths in the Church of God Can't Love their Children

There have been many great discussions on various COG Facebook pages from people where were abused by parents and ministers as they grew up.  With so many narcissists and psychopaths in leadership positions of various COG's it has lead to some horrendous stories being revealed, particularly by children of psychopath parents in the church, whether members or ministers.

Here's Why Psychopaths Are Unable to Love Their Own Children

The effects are devastating.
by Lindsay Dodgson

 

"Narcissists, psychopaths, and sociopaths do not have a sense of empathy, they do not and will not develop a sense of empathy, so they can never really love anyone," she told Business Insider.

This doesn't change when they have children. There's no primal instinct to protect and encourage their offspring, because they are not seen as a separate entity. They are merely a tool which is at their disposal.

"DTPs tend to see children as an extension of themselves and a possession," Neo said.

"So rather than saying, 'I'm going to nurture you so you can grow up to be the amazing person you're meant to be,' [they say] 'you're supposed to grow up and do this so that you're my trophy.'"

This is very different from the environment a child in a healthy family would grow up in. Instead of being nurtured and taught the ways of the world, a child of a DTP parent grows up not knowing their own sense of self.

"'I can check your phone, I can do anything I want to do, I can just barge into your room, basically not respecting your sense of property,'" is what Neo said DTP personalities believe.

"There are no emotional boundaries, either. So the children grow up not really sure about what boundaries are."

The child is expected to fill all kinds of functions they shouldn't have to. For example, narcissists tend to be very unhappy people, with low self esteem, so they unload a lot of unnecessary emotional baggage onto their children.

They are used as a listening ear for the parent's problems, and a source of emotional comfort.

This continues over the years, and Neo says some of her clients have said their parents told them: "The only reason I had you was so you could take care of me for the rest of your life."

"You're not allowed to have children, and you're not allowed to get married," she added. "The parent would be meddling in all these different relationships, left right and centre, creating all sorts of drama, so the child stays single."

'The child is expected to be a punching bag'

Throughout their life, the child is also expected to be a punching bag, either physically or emotionally. This becomes harder as the child grows older, because they become stronger and more aware, so the DTP parent will counteract this by hacking away at their self esteem.

"As the parents grows older, and their health starts to decline, their sense of self esteem becomes really shaky," Neo said.

"Then the child grows up, becomes strong, becomes powerful, has more of a sense of self, and it's very difficult for the parent to watch. So there becomes this unhealthy competition, putting the child down, telling the child they're fat, they're useless, they're ugly."

At the same time, whenever the child accomplishes something, the parent has to take credit for it.

For example, they would mention the fact the child is a very good trumpet player, and the only reason is because they scrimped and saved for lessons for years, even if this may not be true.

"Every single thing is always brought back to them," Neo said. "So the child is brought up thinking, 'I have no sense of self, I have no say, and I do not matter.'"

The 'golden child' vs. the scapegoat

The dynamics shift depending on how many children the DTP has.

Sometimes, DTPs will have more than one child, and Neo says it is remarkable how often the same power dynamics play out in these families. In most cases, one child becomes the golden child, who can do no wrong.

"The child can live in fear, because all they want to do is please mummy or daddy so there's no trouble - so they will be loved," Neo said. "So they get this reward and it's almost transactional."

Then the second child is used as a scapegoat, and is blamed for everything. So much so, that the DTP parent will enjoy playing the children off against each other, and create unnecessary competition.

If there is a third child, Neo says they become the "lost boy" or the "lost girl", who is neglected and more or less completely ignored.

"If you watch the families and see the traits of narcissistic parents, this is often what plays out," Neo said.

"Essentially, it's designed to keep the self esteem of the child low, so the child will always stay small and as a possession, and there's a lot of dictatorship over what a child can or cannot do because it's all about the parents' sense of self."

Read the entire article here: Here's Why Psychopaths Are Unable to Love Their Own Children