COG Zerubbabel: The end-time Elijah, finally dressing like a real prophet as he talks about "flying rolls"

James Malm was seen whimpering at his kitchen table at the sight of the greatest prophet the Church of God has ever seen!  Never has an end time prophet to the church spoken more truth and dressed the part as Zerrbubbabl does (aka, Michael Noordhoek).  

We have Ron Weinland to thank for this Pharisaical mess of bullshit.

Why do all COG prophets need big thick bibles in their grubby little hands?

UCG: As Membership Drops, it says "the world is falling apart around us," What are they to do?????

Those fun-loving boys in Cincinnati met recently for the Council of Elders meeting. As usual, the report issued afterward is a glorious slobberfest on how wonderful United Church of God is and how it is doing such a sueprfantabulous witness to the world.

Don Ward says,

Dr. Ward read James:3:16, “For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there.” He emphasized that we are members one of another (Romans:12:5) and that the members should have the same care for one another (1 Corinthians:12:25). Dr. Ward mentioned in this age when the world is falling apart all around us we should be asking, “What would God have us do?” during these times.

It is always interesting to see how after 26 years they still have no idea what God wants them to do.  I thought the entire reason for UCG's apostacy from the mother church was to do the will of God, as they imagined it, or was it actually to keep their salaries in place?

Two new council members were added. New fresh faces were added to the council.

The two new Council members were welcomed: Darris McNeely and Randy Stiver.

God forbid if any younger men were ever allowed to join the council and shake things up by injecting new visions of ministry.  These two are nothing more than "status quo" yes men.

Vic Kubik waxed eloquent on the internal treasure trove they have of "new members" to the church.  those new members should be the result of the UCG indoctrination camp for the church youth.

The summer camp program completed its 26th year. The preteen and teen camp program are a major way that United is “preparing a people”—it is the largest group of prospective members in the Church. 

The youth in ALL the splinter groups of the Worldwide Church of God are leaving in droves as they leave due to the fact of how incredibly boring services are and living in church areas with hardly any youth present.

Kubik is also excited about the HUUUUUUGE student body of members attending their mind-boggling "college":

• Ambassador Bible College: ABC is about to welcome its 21st class of students. They are expecting about 20 students from 12 different states and one from South Africa.

Kubik also released the attendance numbers for UCG.  A drop in members over the 2016 numbers:

• Average U.S. Sabbath attendance for June 2019 was 7,085. (7,459 in 2016)

Aas membership drops, UCG is adding more elders to the mix:

• 391 elders in the United Church of God (UCG)  (374 in 2016)

Kubik, them mentions how many baptisms they have had due to their superfantbulous ministerial outreach to the world.  Hundreds of thousands hear their message and as a result, this many were baptized:

• 25 baptisms since the May meetings (84 baptisms so far in 2019)

Billions of people in the world and God manages to only deliver 84 people to them. So much for saving humanity from the trials to come!  God's phone lines must have been down for most of the year as he was not able to call anyone.

Even their coworker count has dropped:

• Our coworker count is at 6,276. That’s a 1.3% decrease over the same time last year, and a 1.8% decrease over two years ago.

Even worse is the donor list of people who sent them money:

• Our donor list now includes 7,415 people. Our peak number was 9,564 in June 2016.

And then there is this:

• Combined with our co-workers, we continue to have more of our readers and viewers contributing to the work of the Church than the total number of members in the U.S. and abroad—13,691.

Readership of their uninspiring rag is down too:

• U.S. Beyond Today (BT) magazine subscribers are at 238,911. This is 91% of subscribers compared to the same time last year, 94% compared to two years ago, and exactly the same as three years ago.

• The total BT magazine print run stands at 292,283. This is 7% below the same time last year, and 10% below our peak of 324,738 from November 2017. Our all-time high was 567,309 in May 2008.

UCG then blames this drop in readership to the cost of advertising.  Apparently reaching out to potential members with the witness of God's word is not that vitally important that they would cut back in other areas in order to spend more money as needed.

• Due to increased printing, paper and postage costs over the past year (but the same budget), we have had to reduce our advertising—which has resulted in lower subscriber numbers the past year or so.

One positive sign for this is that phone calls and web traffic increased this past year:

• The number of telephone and website responses from Beyond Today TV since 2006 stands at 334,971. Responses for 2019 will easily outpace 2018 by about 40%.

• The Church’s Beyond Today YouTube channel at www.youtube.com/user/BeyondTodayTV has had 11.22 million views (a 30% increase over a year ago), has 50,687 subscribers (a 42% increase over a year ago), and hosts 2,017 videos (8% more than a year ago).

UCG has wiped the gloating smirk off Dave Pack's claim that his web site for the Restored Church of God is the most amazing web site ever produced by a Church of God:

• UCG.org Website: We are pleased to report that ucg.org has broken into the top 10 list of Christian denomination websites around the world. We are currently ranked at #9! This is the highest ranking we have seen to date. And ucg.org is currently ranked #28 of all Christian websites globally.

Ever since the Worldwide Church of God imploded into an abominable mess of splinter groups, all claiming themselves as God's most favorite church, every single one of the splinter groups has failed to find any common ground with other COG's.  That comes from their self-righteous leaders who don't want to lose control of their little empires. And, God forbid if any church member gave money to some other COG.

Ever since UCG hemorrhaged COGWA into existence, it has never been an impactful, dynamic Church of God doing an amazing work that the entire world is aware of. Almost every world leader out there has no idea who UCG is and what it stands for.  Following in the footsteps of their previous leader apparently is not a priority.  But, then when has it ever been?  A money-making empire to fund the entitled ministry is all it has ever presented itself as.

Dreams In The Church

I'm going to talk a little bit more about dreams today in this post. 

Last night I had a dream. It was a very vivid dream - very detailed, very weird, very imaginative. It was about David Pack. Let me stop here and now before I begin and preface this by stating it was only a dream, for those whom should need this to hear. 

In this dream, I had to attend a service of David Pack's. It was set in a large, semi-circular auditorium laden with brown and gold overtones with a central podium and risers with warm-toned lighting. Why I had to go there, I really do not know. I was not alone - I was with someone - a tall, blond-haired gentleman who told me when I was there that I had to stay there. 

As the service began, well, just before the service actually began, a youth member way back somewhere (presumably a kitchen, or someplace) accidentally dropped and broke some dishes. Pack, in this dream, immediately got up to the podium and blasted out condescending and hurtful rebukes about how horrible it was that this young person broke dishes in the house of God. 

It seemed that Pack went on for a while, and I was getting absolutely disgusted. But no one else was. The entire congregation approved of how shameful the youth was, and in a rare vocal agreement agreed completely with Pack. No one left - or could. To the chagrin of the tall, blonde gentleman by my side, I decided I was going to leave. 

So, I tried to leave. I exited the tunnel that led to the concourse (seemed like an arena type exit) and I was met by someone who claimed to be an appointed Judge of the Church that I could not leave. I challenged him and said yes, I could - and he suddenly held some sort of a strange puzzle. The implication was if I could put the puzzle together, I could go. I wondered - who are you to tell me what to do and how I can or cannot go? At that point, I decided to run, as fast as I could, out of there, and ended up down a street. 

Other people on the street - I don't know who they were - suddenly realized I had left Pack's service by some sort of telekinetic or telepathic instruction (think the Borg), and attempted to stop me as well. However, it did not work. It was at this point that the dream ended. 

Thank God. 

Yes, Dreams happen. Some are extremely vivid. Some don't make any sense. Some make a lot of sense. Rarely do they mean anything at all. In this dream Pack was a jack-ass - which is fairly accurate -  but I can count on one hand the amount of dreams I have had throughout my entire life that I can tell you were proven to be either "prophetic" or inspired because of their accuracy and future-telling ability that actually came true. (I told only one person about them!) This? This was just a crazy, strange dream about David Pack that I probably had because I had just eaten a good bowl of raisin bran. So I'll tell you. 

In the COG Universe, so-called prophets put emphasis on dreams because they are already self-obsessed with their own grandiose ideas of their importance. They will assume that God is telling them something, but the only thing speaking to them is an astounding amount of carbs and protein from leftover pizza or lasagna! Their dreams are self-centered, self-absorbed, and usually absolutely senseless and complete nonsense. 

Now, about that Pack Dream. 

If it had happened to someone, say, like Thiel, or Malm, I can pretty much bet you they would probably get up, write it down, think it was from God, and run with it into some sort of strange interpretation. God forbid if it actually happened to Pack! He'd probably write a 356 part sermon about it, divided into twenty-four subsections and sixteen overtime segments. If Waterhouse was alive, could you imagine how he would run with such a dream? It would be one of the most rambling messages you could probably ever hear! The point is - this was just what it was - a dream. Exactly as the other dreams I've had I've told you about previously - such as the dream of Herbert In a Box some time ago that I shared. They. Are. Just. Dreams. 

People have got to stop attributing such grandiose callings to COG "ministers" like Thiel and others - including Thiel and others - with the idea that somehow God is talking to them alone with information that only they are privy to. This can become extremely dangerous, and downright delusional - especially if they are already entrapped in ideas, doctrine, and other complete crap ideologies that belong in the bottom of the sewer. Why is it that these people think so highly of themselves that they can't simply accept that they, too, are human, and dream like the rest of us? 

Now, I, too, have a real dream. 

I have a dream that Bob Thiel would somehow learn how to preach. It's obvious he is batting way out of his league. If he had just stuck with vitamin pills, instead of getting his nose into people's spiritual lives as the world's biggest know-it-all, he might have earned some legitimate respect. 

I have a dream people like Jon Brisby would stop dreaming up fantasies that some sort of Christ reappeared - apparently, in the form of a man named Herb who came and went years ago. 

I have a dream that David Pack would realize the immense harm that he is causing people based on absolute delusion and self-fulfillment, bringing people to the poor house for more than "two trees" in his precious little mini-me "campus". 

I have a dream that Ronald Weinland would take the hint and just stop already. He's already the most embarrassing COG personality around. 

I have a dream that Gerald Weston would realize he isn't the big cheese in the minds of many he thinks he is, and sorely lacks respect from many of his own "flock". 

I have a dream that James Malm would stop idolizing and worshipping the Law, bringing people further into bondage with his legalistic long-obsolete crazy ideas. 

I have a dream that Gerald Flurry would stop focusing on the physical, and sit on that little Herbert Rock he loves so much and wake up to the harm he is causing within his own church by allowing, enabling, or enacting wickedness - and ask himself, was this all worth it? 

I have a dream that Armstrongism itself will completely shrivel into an even lower form than it is now, for all of its folly and shame with seventy plus years of nonsense proven as nonsense through the chambers of time. 

At least these dreams make sense. Now, maybe I will remember what I ate last night so I don't have another silly dream about that tall weirdo out there in Wadsworth who really thinks he is all that. Who is, after all, the biggest narcissist? Is it Pack? Or Flurry? or Thiel? or Malm? Or Weston? Or Brisby? Or Weinland? Or................

It would be a miracle if any one of them would focus more on Jesus then themselves and realize for once in their lives the infection of narcissism enabled by the teachings of a splinter Church from the Church of Christ back in the 1800s. 

Submitted by SHT