Dave Pack: Contradictions a Plenty

Sabbath Services At Home, COG Style

Well, good Sabbath afternoon brethren. Beautiful weather we're having here today. Thanks for moving the lamp over, and please turn off the TV. Thank you very much, and take the dog out. 

Well, would you all move the coffee table and rise. Turn with me in whatever hymnal you have to Onward Armstrong Church of God, a very fitting song these days for sure, Onward Armstrong Church of God. 

I said PLEASE SOMEONE TAKE THAT DOG OUT! 

Ahem. *raises arms* 

All together. You, please sing softly, because you can't hold a tune in a bucket. *smiles*

Here we go. 

Onward, Armstrong Church of God

In hotel room doors

With the word of Herbert

Groups of three or four

Herb, their royal Master,

Word against the world,

All the other ministers,

Eyebrows strongly furled, 

(Chorus)

Onward, Armstrong Church of God

Not knowing where to go

With the word of Herbert

Whimpered out the door. 

Like a puny whoopee cushion (6-year old laughs)

Moves the Splinter cults

Fighting with each other

How are they adults? 

They are so divided

Ripped and torn to see

Broken up and Fractured up

What a joke to see

Onward, Armstrong Church of God

Groups of three or four 

With the word of Herbert

Whimpered out the door.

*THE DOG IS BARKING AT THE BACK DOOR! PLEASE LET HIM IN AND TAKE HIM TO THE KENNEL DOWNSTAIRS!!* *Ahem*....

Onward, then, ye Armstrongites;

Join our grumpy throng.

Blend with ours your voices

In the Dwighty song:

Stubble, Coals of Juniper

Through the windows leap

3 to 5 more years to go, 

so says prophecy...

Onward, Armstrong Church of God

Groups of three or four 

With the word of Herbert

Whimpered out the door.

BEAUTIFUL BEGINNING, BRETHREN!

Sorry about the lawnmower, today's mowing day for the neighbor.............

Now let's turn to another hymn, "No, We Never Said That, That's Not What We Meant".

submitted by SHT

God's Most Highly Favored Prophet Is Now The Worlds Most Knowledgable Scientist

Only in Armstrongism can we produce so many blithering idiots.  Bwana Bob Theil is no more a legitimate scientist than he is a prophet or end-time leader of "God's" church.

COGwriterAs a scientist, I have long known that proponents of evolution treat the subject more like a religious view than a scientific theory. This is somewhat also what the Ben Stein movie Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed revealed years ago (see Ben Stein’s Expelled).
Evolution is not scientific.

Bwana Scifi Bob then goes on to quote an article about a Yale scientist who stopped believing in evolution.

His next comment was this:

Sadly, society has been infested with the false religion of evolution. 

A more accurate comment should have been made:

Sadly, soceity has been infested with the false religion of Armstrongism. 

Behold, It's Really Not a Mystery: Using Prophetic Speculation to Deny Reality

“It is necessary to meditate early, and often, on the art of dying to succeed later in doing it properly just once.”
― Umberto Eco, The Island of the Day Before

Sam Harris on Death

2:43

Have the Splits, Splinters and Slivers Ever Noticed:

Herbert W. Armstrong

Dead

Garner Ted Armstrong

Dead

Roderick C Meredith

Dead

Dean Blackwell

Dead 

Leslie McCollough

Dead

A personal philosophical photo shoot in downtown Greenville, SC

Dr Hoeh

Dead

Clint Zimmerman

Dead

Chuck Zimmerman

Dead

Carlton Smith 

Dead

Ian Boyne

Dead

Burk McNair

Dead

Marion  McNair

Dead

Art Mokarow

Dead

Ron Dart

Dead

Bob League

Dead

John Halford

Dead

Bernie Schnippert 

Dead

Leroy Neff

Dead

Dennis Luker

Dead

Charles Hunting

Dead

Dibar Apartian

Dead

Raymond McNair

Dead

David Jon Hill

Dead

Howard Clark

Dead

Ernest Martin 

Dead

...and so on and on and on.

The All Too Painful Truth

We shall all not sleep...um...yes we will

...and too

"Behold the day will come..."

Dave Pack

In Bankruptcy

Gerald Flurry

Any Minute

Ron Weinland

Clutching his gold and diamonds in the bathtub with the Prophetess

Gerald Weston

Of Boredom

Bob Thiel

Of a swollen head

James Malm

Of Legalitis

Joe Tkach Jr

Drown swimming with too many Rolex Watches on at one time.

Myself
Being in Therapeutic Massage I probably will get rubbed out

:)

Don't let the True Fragment Churches of  God Steal Your Actual Life and Time on the Planet

Live-Laugh-Love

...and hurry  :)