Germany Rearms for Russia. Crackpot Bob Rearms His Prophecy Boner for World War III Against the USA

Well, look who just had another prophetic orgasm.

Crackpot Bob, the self-appointed prophet of the improperly named "Continuing" Church of God and full-time professional Germany-watcher, has once again discovered that Europe is spending money on its own military. And just like every single time this has happened for the last seventy years, Bob has decided this can only mean one thing: Germany is secretly gearing up to blitzkrieg the United States, conquer Canada and England, and set up concentration camps for the modern-day “tribes of Israel”.

Because of course it is.

Never mind that Germany is frantically trying to build a military that can actually deter Russia after years of watching Ukraine get turned into a meat grinder. Never mind that German leaders are openly saying they need to be “war-ready by 2029” because Moscow is the threat. Never mind that the entire current buildup is a direct response to Russian aggression and the very real possibility that the United States might not be as eager to bankroll Europe’s defense forever.

None of that matters to Bob. In his carefully curated prophetic fever dream, every new German tank, every increase in the defense budget, every European leader who says “we need to be able to defend ourselves” is secretly code for “We can’t wait to invade the United States and put the descendants of Manasseh in camps.”

This is not analysis. This is a fetish.

Armstrongism has been running this exact script since Herbert W. Armstrong was still alive and predicting the Great Tribulation would hit between 1972 and 1975. Germany was always going to rise, lead a United States of Europe, and destroy America and Britain. The only thing that ever changed was the date. The prophecy failed. Then it failed again. Then it failed some more. And yet the same men (and their spiritual grandchildren) keep dusting it off every time Europe buys a new rifle.

Bob has simply inherited the family business of failed prophecy and turned it into a full-time lifestyle. He watches European defense news the way some men watch adult films. A German general says the Bundeswehr needs more troops? Bob starts quivering. The EU talks about strategic autonomy? Bob reaches for his Bible and his tissues. Donald Trump pressures NATO countries to spend more on their own defense? Bob declares that Trump is unknowingly raising up the Beast so it can destroy the very nation Trump is trying to strengthen.

It’s almost touching in its pure, undiluted delusion.

The actual news is straightforward. Germany is rearming because Russia is a hostile nuclear power that has already invaded a neighboring country and is rebuilding its military at a rapid pace. European leaders are admitting what has been obvious for years: they can no longer assume the United States will indefinitely underwrite their security. That is not the rise of the King of the North. That is basic national self-interest after decades of free-riding.

But basic national self-interest does not get Crackpot Bob out of bed in the morning. Only the thrilling possibility that Germany might one day put Americans in camps does that.

So once again we are treated to the same tired parade of scriptures ripped out of context, the same Lamentations passage about “friends becoming enemies,” the same Daniel 11 fantasy in which modern Germany is somehow both the ancient King of the North and the final Beast power that will conquer the United States. The same prophecy that has been “almost here” for longer than most of Bob’s readers have been alive.

Germany is arming itself against Russia. Bob is arming himself against reality.

And somewhere in Arroyo Grande, the crackpot prophet is smiling that strange little smile, convinced that this time—this time for sure—the tanks are finally coming for the United States.

He can hardly wait.

Bwana Bob’s Magical Chain of Custody: How the Crackpot Prophet Rewrites History to Claim His Cult Ancestors Gave Us the Bible

 

Bwana Bob’s Magical Chain of Custody: How the Crackpot Prophet Rewrites History to Claim His Cult Gave Us the Bible

Bob Thiel has once again treated us to one of his signature historical performances. In a recent piece, the self-appointed prophet of the improperly named "Continuing" Church of God informs the world that the Roman Catholic Church did not “give” humanity the Bible, the Eastern Orthodox did not, and the Protestants certainly did not—because all of them formalized their canons too late. Therefore, he declares, only “the Church of God” maintained an unbroken chain of custody of the biblical books from the moment the Apostle John handed them to Polycarp of Smyrna. And, of course, Thiel’s own 21st-century splinter is the living continuation of that pure, continuous church.

This is not history. It is cult revisionism of the purest Armstrongist variety: invent a continuous, doctrinally pure lineage that somehow survived the centuries in secret, then place yourself at the end of the line so that your group alone possesses the true faith and the true Bible. The rest of Christianity is reduced to a late, corrupted afterthought.

Thiel’s opening move is a classic. He notes that the Catholic Church formally defined its canon at the Council of Trent in 1546 and that the Eastern Orthodox finalized theirs at the Synod of Jerusalem in 1672. From this he concludes that these churches could not have “given the world the Bible,” because God would never leave His true church without the written Word for centuries.

This is a deliberate misrepresentation of how canons actually form. The books of the New Testament were written in the first century and circulated among Christian communities long before any council. By the late second century the core of the New Testament was already widely recognized and quoted as Scripture by writers across the Mediterranean world. The Muratorian Fragment (late second century), Origen, Eusebius, and Athanasius’s 39th Festal Letter of 367 all show a New Testament list that is essentially the one we have today. The formal conciliar decisions of the fourth through seventeenth centuries were not the moment the books suddenly became Scripture; they were the moment the churches officially closed the list against remaining disputes and, later, against Protestant challenges.

Trent did not invent the New Testament. It reaffirmed a long-settled collection while defending the deuterocanonical books against the Reformers. The Eastern churches followed a similar path. To pretend that Christians somehow lived for fifteen centuries without a recognized New Testament is simply false. The books were copied, read, preached, and treated as authoritative long before any council stamped them with finality.

Thiel next observes that the Protestant churches came out of the Roman Catholic Church and therefore could not have preserved the Bible either. True enough as a statement of historical sequence, and completely irrelevant. The Protestant Reformers inherited the same New Testament that the late medieval Western church had been reading for centuries. They rejected certain Old Testament books; they did not invent a new New Testament. The claim that only a hidden “Church of God” could have kept the books pure is an assertion without evidence, not an argument.

Here is where the revisionism becomes truly cartoonish. Thiel asserts that “from the beginning the Church of God did and has maintained the chain of custody since the Apostle John handed down the books and the knowledge of the canon to Polycarp of Smyrna, who passed this on to others.”

Polycarp of Smyrna was a real historical figure, a disciple of John, and a martyr. His surviving letter to the Philippians shows a man who treated the writings of Paul and other apostolic material as authoritative. What it does not show is a second-century Armstrongist. There is no British Israelism, no insistence on the full package of Holy Days as binding on Gentile Christians, no rejection of the emerging catholic structure of the church, no claim that only a tiny remnant kept the pure faith while the rest of Christianity apostatized. Polycarp was part of the network of churches that would become the mainstream catholic tradition of Asia Minor. The Quartodeciman controversy over the date of Passover is real history; the leap from that local practice to “the Church of God has always kept the pure canon and pure doctrine” is pure invention.

Armstrongist historiography has long specialized in stitching together a secret succession of true believers—Polycarp to the Paulicians to the Waldenses to the Anabaptists to Herbert Armstrong—while ignoring the actual beliefs of those groups. Most of the medieval groups claimed as ancestors were not Sabbath-keepers in the Armstrongist sense, did not teach British Israelism, and did not hold the distinctive package of doctrines Thiel now presents as the historic faith. The “continuous chain of custody” is a theological necessity for the cult narrative, not a documented historical reality.

The purpose of the claim is not scholarly. It is institutional. If only “the Church of God” preserved the Bible and the true understanding of it from the beginning, then every other Christian body is illegitimate. Authority, doctrine, and ultimately loyalty and financial support flow to the one group that claims the unbroken line. In Thiel’s hands that group is the Continuing Church of God. The same pattern appears in every Armstrongist splinter: invent the pure remnant, place yourself inside it, and declare everyone else compromised.

The actual history is far less convenient. The New Testament books were written, copied, and circulated by ordinary Christian communities across the Roman world. Consensus about the core collection emerged gradually through use, quotation, and debate. Later councils formalized what had already become the working canon. No secret Sabbath-keeping hierarchy was required to keep the texts from vanishing. Manuscript evidence, patristic citations, and the simple fact that we possess the books today all point to widespread transmission, not to a hidden elite.

Bob Thiel’s article is not an exercise in careful historical reasoning. It is an exercise in identity construction. By rewriting the story of the canon so that only “the Church of God” could have preserved it, he positions his own tiny organization as the sole legitimate heir of the apostles. The Catholic Church is dismissed for formalizing the canon “too late.” The Orthodox are dismissed for the same reason. The Protestants are dismissed for being born too late. Polycarp is recruited as an unwitting dupe in the soon coming Armstrongist empire. And the actual, messy, well-documented process by which the churches of the second through fourth centuries recognized the books they already treated as Scripture is simply ignored.

This is cult revisionism. It is the same move Herbert Armstrong made, the same move every successive self-appointed prophet in Armstrongism has made: claim the exclusive historical franchise so that dissent becomes apostasy and your authority becomes self-evident. The Bible does not need Bob Thiel’s imaginary chain of custody. It survived because real Christian communities, imperfect and diverse, copied it, read it, and handed it on. That is the actual history. Everything else is theater.

Floating Jackasses, Floating Coordinator Generals, Floating Prophets, and Wade Cox

Ladies and gentlemen, gather round (preferably while still attached to the floor). Wade Cox, Coordinator General of yet another splinter of the never-ending Armstrongist calendar wars, has issued his latest bulletin from the front lines of imaginary Armageddon. This time the villain isn’t just the Hillel calendar, the Deep State, or those naughty Jews who dared intercalate a month. No, this month’s special guest star is… gravity itself.

Apparently on 12 August some scientists (unnamed, of course) have warned that Earth’s gravitational field will take a seven-second coffee break. Seven whole seconds! Long enough for every self-appointed end-time calculator to float gently into the stratosphere while clutching their sacred day-counts like 1260, 1264, 1330, 1331 and 1335. Because nothing says “Thus saith the Lord” quite like a spreadsheet of prophetic days and a sudden inability to stay on the ground.

Wade helpfully suggests we all stand in door frames. Because when the laws of physics momentarily clock out, the best defense is architectural door jambs. One can almost hear the ancient Israelites muttering, “If only we had stood under the lintel during the Babylonian siege…”

And of course the usual threats follow: next year the Hillel calendar will be a month off, therefore every Jew and every Church of God that still uses it will start dying on the wrong feast days. Their ministers first, naturally. Repent by 2028 or lose your First Resurrection season ticket forever. The only calendar that saves is the one Wade happens to be selling this week.

Now contrast this floating circus with the New Covenant.

Jesus never once said, “Verily I say unto you, unless ye correctly intercalate the months and stand in a doorway when gravity hiccups, ye shall in no wise enter the kingdom.” He said the law and the prophets were fulfilled in Him. He offered rest, not another 1,260-day countdown. He never required a Temple calendar, never threatened people with death for keeping the wrong new moon, and never warned that a temporary lapse in gravity would be the instrument of divine judgment.

The New Covenant is not a more accurate spreadsheet. It is the end of the spreadsheet. No more “keep this exact day or die.” No more “the Deep State is about to cancel gravity so repent.” No more floating prophets, floating hippos, floating jackasses, and floating men waving Bibles while the actual Messiah is busy being the once-for-all sacrifice.

Wade’s message is the same old Armstrongist product in a new bottle: fear, precise numbers, and the promise that only his group has the correct calendar. The New Covenant simply says: Christ is enough. The rest is noise… and, on 12 August apparently, temporary weightlessness.

So if gravity does take those seven seconds off, try not to float past Wade. He’ll probably still be counting the days on the way up. 

Why does Armstrongism get stupider by the day?

Sabbath 05/05/49/120

Dear Friends

Today is the Fifth day of the Fifth month 49/120. Today is the Fifth of Ab which is a noted day of calamity in ancient Israel. It is usually brought about by the breach of God's Laws, and we are now about to see the catastrophes develop as we saw in the New Moon Message for this month and the paper Fate of the USA, Canada and the Commonwealth under the Satanic Calendar (No. 156Kiii). We are about to be brought to repentance by WWIII and by the Witnesses (Nos. 135; 141D) over 1260 days and then by the Messiah and the Host on the 1264th day. Christ and the Host will then subjugate the world from the 1264th day to the 1330th day and the Second Exodus to Israel will occur on the 1331st to the 1335th day. 

 

This month of Ab is set to be of great Interest to Israel and the nations around the world that have such links back to the ancient tribal groups of Israel. Traditionally the worst days are from 5 to 10 Ab and then on over the devastation caused by the crises. There was a warning issued a few months ago by the scientists that on the last day of the Fifth Month, that is on the 12th of August, there will be a lapse in gravity for seven seconds and it is stated to cancel earth's gravitational field. It should be guarded against and all should be aware. It could cause serious accidents and injuries. Positioning oneself within secure structures like door frames etc may protect the individual. It may not be of any consequence, but it might, and we should limit our exposure. It may be another ruse of the Deep State; one can never be sure...

Next year in 2027 the Hillel Calendar will be a month out due to the Babylonian Intercalations and the entire Jewish people and the Churches of God that follow Hillel will be entirely at risk and are not under the protection of God on any of those days in Hillel. They will begin to be killed on any day they keep under the Hillel Calendar. It will start with their ministry from that year onwards to punish their ministry and to drive them to repentance. Judah has corrupted the Temple Calendar with its traditions and the false prophets, Dugger and Armstrong, corrupted the Churches of God with the Hillel heresy and sent all following them to the Second Resurrection (No. 143B) and cost them their positions in the First Resurrection for all time...

The only chance the Sardis and Laodicean systems have is to repent and keep the Law and the Testimony and the Temple Calendar that flows from the Law. You must repent by 2028 to have any chance of the First Resurrection (Nos. 143A and 143E above).

Today we begin the series on Samuel, Kings and Chronicles over the next months ahead.

Wade Cox

Coordinator General

Building Patience While You Have A Profitable Sabbath?

 

The Importance of Patience: Today, our societies are focused on instant gratification. Yet God has a different priority, and we are to develop His perspective (Philippians 2:5). The Scriptures reveal that God places a premium on developing patience (Luke 8:15; Romans 12:12; 1 Peter 2:20), because He is patient (1 Peter 3:20) and patience is one of the fruits of His Spirit (Galatians 5:22; Ephesians 4:2). God uses trials to help us develop patience (James 1:3–4). As part of God’s plan to prepare them for their future roles, Abraham and Sarah waited decades for a promised son (Genesis 12:4; 17:17), Joseph spent years in prison (Genesis 39:20; 41:1, 14), Moses herded sheep for 40 years (Exodus 2:21–25; 3:1), and David endured persecution (Psalm 37:7; 40:1). We need to remember God’s promise that “those who wait on the Lord… shall mount up with wings like eagles” (Isaiah 40:31). Let’s strive to develop real godly patience, because that is what God is looking for in each of us.

Have a profitable Sabbath,

Douglas S. Winnail

Nothing substantial is wrong with the content on patience itself. The verses cited are accurate, the biblical examples are real, and the call to develop patience as a fruit of the Spirit is standard Christian teaching. God is patient, trials produce endurance, and waiting on the Lord is repeatedly commanded. That part is fine.

The problems appear in the source, the framework, and the closing line—especially when measured against the New Testament’s teaching on the New Covenant.

“Have a profitable Sabbath” is not a neutral greeting. In Living Church of God / Armstrongism it functions as a doctrinal marker. It assumes that the seventh-day Sabbath remains a binding covenant obligation for Christians today.  Under the New Covenant that assumption does not hold:

• Colossians 2:16–17 treats “a festival or a new moon or a Sabbath” as “a shadow of the things to come, but the substance belongs to Christ.”
• Romans 14:5–6 allows freedom of conscience on days.
• Galatians 4:9–11 warns against returning to “weak and worthless elementary principles” that include calendar observances.
• Hebrews 4 presents the true “Sabbath rest” as entering God’s rest by faith in Christ’s finished work, not by weekly calendar-keeping.

Greeting people with “profitable Sabbath” quietly re-imposes an Old-Covenant boundary marker that the apostles said has been fulfilled and set aside. That is the clearest “wrong” element in the message.

LCG teaches that the New Covenant does not do away with “the law of God” (understood to include the weekly Sabbath, annual holy days, clean meats, etc.), that Christians enter it at baptism by covenanting to keep those commandments, and that what we experience now is only a “foretaste” for the firstfruits.  That framework turns even a good topic like patience into something that sits inside a performance-oriented system. Patience becomes one more quality you must “strive to develop” while also carefully observing the right days, the right diet, and the right calendar—exactly the kind of external measuring that the New Covenant was designed to replace with the internal work of the Spirit (Jeremiah 31:33; Hebrews 8:10; Galatians 5:22–23; Romans 8:2–4).

Armstrongism has always been slow on patience. It has a long record of date-setting, urgent timelines, and “this is the final warning” rhetoric that repeatedly failed (1972/1975 expectations under Armstrong, later adjustments in the splinter groups, etc.). Preaching patience while living in a culture of prophetic urgency and tight hierarchical control is inconsistent. True New-Covenant patience rests in the certainty that Christ has already secured the future; it does not need constant recalculations of “how much longer.”

The paragraph on patience is biblically sound. What is wrong is the theological package it comes in: a system that keeps the form of Old-Covenant Sabbath observance while claiming to be under the New Covenant. That package confuses shadow with substance, external day-keeping with the rest that is already available in Christ, and Spirit-produced fruit with law-regulated performance.  

Under the New Covenant, the call is simpler: walk by the Spirit, and the fruit—including patience—will grow. You do not need a weekly calendar check-in to make it “profitable.”

Silent Pilgrim

CGI and Bill Watson: Why Being Nice Does Not Work

 

You Can’t Be Nice To Bill Watson!

 

In a sermon to the Atlanta congregation of CGI this past Sabbath, Bill Watson attempted to spin his departure from that organization as a brave and heroic act. Indeed, Watson implied that he did what he did to remain true to himself and his principles and suggested that CGI’s leadership was allowing error and sinfulness to creep into their midst! He went on to assert his own integrity and insinuated that association with any organization would inevitably lead one to compromise his/her integrity. Hence, while he stated that he wasn’t looking for followers, he encouraged folks to analyze and investigate what was happening and join him in remaining faithful to “THE TRUTH.”

“Why would CGI provide Bill with this platform?” you ask. After discussing this very question with some of the leadership of CGI, my impression is that they are still trying to extend the hand of fellowship/friendliness to Bill. Unfortunately, many of them still can’t bring themselves to believe that their former minister could be so manipulative and malicious. Mr. Watson smiles and talks about different gifts and administrations while insisting that he alone has the courage and conviction to insist on righteousness – both within the ACOG culture and the culture of the country as a whole! In short, Bill has developed the skillset of a snake oil salesman. He won’t just come right out and say that he’s right and everyone else is wrong, or that what he’s selling will work. Instead, he suggests, implies, insinuates, and gives the impression to others that he has suffered for righteousness’ sake at the hands of unscrupulous and sinful men working to suppress his truth!

Interestingly, Mr. Watson went to Paul’s first epistle to the saints at Corinth for proof that he was on the right track – that he had acted with integrity and in accordance with Scripture in his dealings with CGI. You know, the one where the apostle wrote: “I appeal to you, brothers, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be united in the same mind and the same judgment. For it has been reported to me by Chloe's people that there is quarreling among you, my brothers. What I mean is that each one of you says, ‘I follow Paul,’ or ‘I follow Apollos,’ or ‘I follow Cephas,’ or ‘I follow Christ.’ Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul? I thank God that I baptized none of you except Crispus and Gaius, so that no one may say that you were baptized in my name. (I did baptize also the household of Stephanas. Beyond that, I do not know whether I baptized anyone else.) For Christ did not send me to baptize but to preach the gospel, and not with words of eloquent wisdom, lest the cross of Christ be emptied of its power.” (I Corinthians 1:10-17, ESV) Try spinning that one, Mr. Watson!

Watson went on to quote from Paul’s discussion of the various gifts within the Church (I Corinthians 12:4-11). We must not forget, however, that this discussion of different gifts is followed by this: “For the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot should say, ‘Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,’ that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear should say, ‘Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,’ that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, yet one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you,’ nor again the head to the feet, ‘I have no need of you.’ On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.” (I Corinthians 12:14-26, ESV) How can anyone spin this to justify separating him/herself from the body? Never underestimate an ACOG minister!

Mr. Watson then proceeded to make fun of the folks who insist on speaking about LOVE. He implied that they used love as an excuse to get away from obedience and faithfulness. Paul, however, followed his remarks about gifts with this: “And I will show you a still more excellent way.” (I Corinthians 12:31, ESV) This, of course, is followed by the LOVE chapter of the Bible! Paul wrote: “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.” (I Corinthians 13:1-3, ESV) He went on to conclude: “So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” (I Corinthians 13:13, ESV)

Mr. Watson would have everyone in his audience believe that the times we live in are so evil and precarious that each and every one of us is really on our own. He quoted from Paul’s epistle to the saints at Philippi, but he once again left off a crucial part of the message. We read there: “Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain. Even if I am to be poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all. Likewise, you also should be glad and rejoice with me.” (Philippians 2:12-18, ESV) Once again, the message is focused on unity – on making it into the Kingdom together.

Mr. Watson even managed to get a couple of his conspiracy theories into the message. He talked about chem trails and hinted at strange happenings on the world stage involving Venezuela, Iran, and China. In short, Bill Watson is a self-righteous and unapologetic advocate for headline theology and that “good,” old-time religion (as preached by Herbert W Armstrong)! Mr. Watson is like the servant who took what had been gifted to him many years ago and buried it in the ground to protect it!

The truth, however, is far removed from what Watson is currently selling. I have it on good authority that Watson was operating in direct defiance of the organization which employed him – and for several years prior to his departure. In short, Mr. Watson diverted tithe money away from CGI and kept it in Medina to support his own agenda and designs! “Isn’t that called stealing?” you ask. That’s what I would call it, but that’s just me. I’m sure Mr. Watson would say that he was acting to “protect” God’s tithe money from abuse by those evildoers at headquarters. We should also note that Watson used that money to buy “his” church building back from CGI, and that he continues to use that property and its resources to this day. It is now a part of his Church of God Independent Ministries! Integrity? Courage? Honesy? Those are NOT words that I would use to describe Pastor Bill Watson of Medina, Ohio! What do you think?

 

Lonnie Hendrix/Miller Jones

 

From Judas Kyriakos to Bob Thiel: The Longest Game of Apostolic Succession in Church History

 

No, Bob Thiel is not in any line of succession from Judas/Judah Kyriakos. The claim is pure speculative fan-fiction dressed up as restored apostolic history, the kind of thing that would make even the most dedicated conspiracy-map hobbyist blush. 

Judah Kyriakos (also Judas of Jerusalem) is a real enough figure in the sparse early sources: according to Eusebius and Epiphanius, the fifteenth (and last Hebrew-descent) bishop of Jerusalem, described as a great-grandson of Jude (the brother of Jesus) and thus one of the desposyni. Eusebius lists the short-lived Hebrew bishops up to him and notes they “received the knowledge of Christ in purity.” After the Bar Kokhba revolt and Hadrian’s ban on Jews in the rebuilt Aelia Capitolina (~135 AD), a non-Jewish bishop named Marcus/Mark takes over. That’s roughly where the actual historical trail ends for this Judas. Later legends muddle him with a completely different Judas Cyriacus associated with the True Cross story centuries afterward. There is no continuous, documented episcopal line from him through Pella to Edessa (or anywhere else) that survives into later centuries with the doctrines Thiel wants. 

Thiel’s version invents the rest: Judas “fled” the “antichrist” Markus who compromised by staying in Jerusalem, possibly went to Pella then Edessa, and somehow anchors a “speculative succession list” of leaders there that conveniently lines up with the practices Thiel prefers (avoiding unclean meats, binitarian Godhead, more literal reading of Scripture, Sabbath/holy days). He admits the list is speculative. From there it leaps across nearly two millennia of “true church in the wilderness,” through Herbert W. Armstrong’s church-era schema, various Worldwide Church of God offshoots, a private anointing that supposedly transferred a “mantle” and “double portion,” and finally lands on Bob himself as the one restoring knowledge that was “basically unknown in the 20th century.” Daniel’s increase of knowledge and HWA’s predictions are drafted as supporting prophecy. The punchline is that only two groups of professing Christians really exist today: the ones with God’s Spirit who contend for the faith once delivered (guess who), and everyone else. 

This is not succession. It is a choose-your-own-adventure history where gaps are filled with “might have,” “logical,” and “we consider.” Actual apostolic succession claims (Catholic, Orthodox, etc.) at least attempt continuous, named, historically attested chains of ordination in recognized sees. Thiel’s version has an early list from Eusebius, then fog, legend, and self-referential COG genealogy ending in a 21st-century website and YouTube sermons. No serious historian traces an unbroken pure line of Sabbath-keeping, holy-day-observing, binitarian, unclean-meat-avoiding bishops from Judas of Jerusalem to Arroyo Grande.

Now the New Covenant part, which renders the whole exercise even more absurd. The New Covenant (Jeremiah 31; Hebrews 8–10) is not maintained by blood relatives of Jesus, speculative bishop lists, or geographic flight paths from Hadrian. It is ratified by Christ’s blood, written on hearts and minds, with Jesus as the permanent high priest after the order of Melchizedek. The old genealogical and cultic structures are obsolete. Scripture itself warns against endless genealogies and speculative controversies (1 Timothy 1:4; Titus 3:9). The “faith once for all delivered to the saints” (Jude 3) is the apostolic gospel centered on Christ, not a reconstructed package of second-century Jewish-Christian practices filtered through 20th-century Armstrongism and then declared the sole pure remnant. Claiming that knowledge of the “original” faith was largely lost until the last generation, only to be restored by one particular offshoot leader, treats the Holy Spirit as if He went on a 1,900-year sabbatical and needed Bob’s research notes to clock back in.

Markus of Jerusalem is not an “antichrist” in the sources; he is simply the first non-Jewish bishop after the Jewish ones could no longer reside there. The idea that fleeing equals faithfulness while remaining equals apostasy is a convenient binary that lets later groups anoint themselves the pure continuation. Desposyni still existed in the fourth century according to some reports, but that does not create a secret pure pipeline to modern California. And the notion that true Christians are defined by a short checklist of distinctive practices (plus recognizing Thiel’s group) is classic remnant theology, not New Covenant reality.

In short: Judas Kyriakos was a late-second-century Jewish Christian bishop whose trail goes cold. Bob Thiel is a post-Armstrong COG independent who built a speculative bridge of “maybes” and then declared himself on the far side of it. The New Covenant does not run on that kind of paperwork. The claim is historically groundless, theologically unnecessary, and comically self-serving.

Armstrongism’s Final Prophecy Comes True: They Would Indeed Be Persecuted… by Complete Public Indifference

 

A comment on "Same Old Yoke, Same Old Excuses – Must Be the Members’ Fault Again"

It is truly ironic that a dynamic movement which in its heyday warned the world of the end times would end up fizzling out and decaying right along with the world it once warned. One once expected this voice to rise to its highest crescendo as surrounding conditions evolved to their worst and became intolerable. So effective would be this message that we were supposed to be persecuted and expelled for this! And, it is so easy to get deported today!

It seems perfectly obvious that the splinters are clueless and have lost the gift of messaging. With the proliferation of "the influencer" on the internet, how is it that nobody has been able to tap into and exploit the old Armstrongism in such a way as to go viral? It's really kind of mind-boggling, isn't it? If God were truly behind them, all it would take would be a divine nod, wink, or smile, and they would be everywhere! Instead, we find them waddling in their paranoia over a few well-placed termites or strategically released farts from Satan, who most likely could care less their so-called work! Cowabunga!

You people who are out there making Banned part of your sabbath AM studies realize that my comment this morning is not wrong!

In an era when any teenager with a ring light and a TikTok account can command a global audience before breakfast or a twenty-something guy can expose massive fraud of taxpayers' money, the heirs of Armstrongism cannot make their “urgent” end-time warning travel farther than the next church basement. They have the internet, the algorithms, the free platforms, and a ready-made catalog of dramatic prophecies. What they lack is the ability—or the will—to package any of it in a way that anyone outside their shrinking circle actually wants to hear.  

If God were truly behind them, all it would take would be a divine nod, wink, or smile, and they would be everywhere. Instead, they are nowhere. The absence of that viral breakthrough is not a mystery; it is the evidence. A message that cannot spread even when the tools for global distribution are handed to it on a silver platter is a message that has already been weighed and found wanting.  

Rather than adapt, the remaining groups have retreated into the safest possible activity: paranoia. They spend their energy hunting termites in the walls and detecting strategically released farts from Satan while the actual work of reaching the public is left undone. The result is a collection of tiny, self-referential echo chambers whose loudest noise is the sound of their own mutual suspicion.  

That is why none of them are known around the world for their message. World leaders have no idea who they are. No magazines or video productions influence large audiences. Not because the world is too wicked to listen. Not because persecution has silenced them. But because the message itself has become unhearable—clumsy, outdated, and delivered by people more interested in guarding the last remaining vestages of 1970/80s Armstrongism than in speaking to anyone outside them.  

Cowabunga, indeed!