Floating Jackasses, Floating Coordinator Generals, Floating Prophets, and Wade Cox

Ladies and gentlemen, gather round (preferably while still attached to the floor). Wade Cox, Coordinator General of yet another splinter of the never-ending Armstrongist calendar wars, has issued his latest bulletin from the front lines of imaginary Armageddon. This time the villain isn’t just the Hillel calendar, the Deep State, or those naughty Jews who dared intercalate a month. No, this month’s special guest star is… gravity itself.

Apparently on 12 August some scientists (unnamed, of course) have warned that Earth’s gravitational field will take a seven-second coffee break. Seven whole seconds! Long enough for every self-appointed end-time calculator to float gently into the stratosphere while clutching their sacred day-counts like 1260, 1264, 1330, 1331 and 1335. Because nothing says “Thus saith the Lord” quite like a spreadsheet of prophetic days and a sudden inability to stay on the ground.

Wade helpfully suggests we all stand in door frames. Because when the laws of physics momentarily clock out, the best defense is architectural door jambs. One can almost hear the ancient Israelites muttering, “If only we had stood under the lintel during the Babylonian siege…”

And of course the usual threats follow: next year the Hillel calendar will be a month off, therefore every Jew and every Church of God that still uses it will start dying on the wrong feast days. Their ministers first, naturally. Repent by 2028 or lose your First Resurrection season ticket forever. The only calendar that saves is the one Wade happens to be selling this week.

Now contrast this floating circus with the New Covenant.

Jesus never once said, “Verily I say unto you, unless ye correctly intercalate the months and stand in a doorway when gravity hiccups, ye shall in no wise enter the kingdom.” He said the law and the prophets were fulfilled in Him. He offered rest, not another 1,260-day countdown. He never required a Temple calendar, never threatened people with death for keeping the wrong new moon, and never warned that a temporary lapse in gravity would be the instrument of divine judgment.

The New Covenant is not a more accurate spreadsheet. It is the end of the spreadsheet. No more “keep this exact day or die.” No more “the Deep State is about to cancel gravity so repent.” No more floating prophets, floating hippos, floating jackasses, and floating men waving Bibles while the actual Messiah is busy being the once-for-all sacrifice.

Wade’s message is the same old Armstrongist product in a new bottle: fear, precise numbers, and the promise that only his group has the correct calendar. The New Covenant simply says: Christ is enough. The rest is noise… and, on 12 August apparently, temporary weightlessness.

So if gravity does take those seven seconds off, try not to float past Wade. He’ll probably still be counting the days on the way up. 

Why does Armstrongism get stupider by the day?

Sabbath 05/05/49/120

Dear Friends

Today is the Fifth day of the Fifth month 49/120. Today is the Fifth of Ab which is a noted day of calamity in ancient Israel. It is usually brought about by the breach of God's Laws, and we are now about to see the catastrophes develop as we saw in the New Moon Message for this month and the paper Fate of the USA, Canada and the Commonwealth under the Satanic Calendar (No. 156Kiii). We are about to be brought to repentance by WWIII and by the Witnesses (Nos. 135; 141D) over 1260 days and then by the Messiah and the Host on the 1264th day. Christ and the Host will then subjugate the world from the 1264th day to the 1330th day and the Second Exodus to Israel will occur on the 1331st to the 1335th day. 

 

This month of Ab is set to be of great Interest to Israel and the nations around the world that have such links back to the ancient tribal groups of Israel. Traditionally the worst days are from 5 to 10 Ab and then on over the devastation caused by the crises. There was a warning issued a few months ago by the scientists that on the last day of the Fifth Month, that is on the 12th of August, there will be a lapse in gravity for seven seconds and it is stated to cancel earth's gravitational field. It should be guarded against and all should be aware. It could cause serious accidents and injuries. Positioning oneself within secure structures like door frames etc may protect the individual. It may not be of any consequence, but it might, and we should limit our exposure. It may be another ruse of the Deep State; one can never be sure...

Next year in 2027 the Hillel Calendar will be a month out due to the Babylonian Intercalations and the entire Jewish people and the Churches of God that follow Hillel will be entirely at risk and are not under the protection of God on any of those days in Hillel. They will begin to be killed on any day they keep under the Hillel Calendar. It will start with their ministry from that year onwards to punish their ministry and to drive them to repentance. Judah has corrupted the Temple Calendar with its traditions and the false prophets, Dugger and Armstrong, corrupted the Churches of God with the Hillel heresy and sent all following them to the Second Resurrection (No. 143B) and cost them their positions in the First Resurrection for all time...

The only chance the Sardis and Laodicean systems have is to repent and keep the Law and the Testimony and the Temple Calendar that flows from the Law. You must repent by 2028 to have any chance of the First Resurrection (Nos. 143A and 143E above).

Today we begin the series on Samuel, Kings and Chronicles over the next months ahead.

Wade Cox

Coordinator General