Minor Prophet Bloviates About Jewish Traditions And That Red Heifer

 

There once was a little crooked man, 

who lived in a little crooked house.

Filled with little crooked doors, 

and little crooked bookcases.

Who bounced and flounced from his crooked little chair.

Who had the uncanny flair,

To creep us out with his stare.

Our most highly favored minor prophet, preordained by God to come in these perilous end times after receiving a special double blessing as the Church of God's first Germanic/Native-America Gentile who was destined to rise from the ashes of the Living Church of God to be the end-time Elijah, Moses, Elisha, Habbakuk, Amos, and Joshua, to lead us into all truth about the Mayans, Jesuits, and Jewish traditions.

The Chosen One is back regaling us with his buffoonery over the red heifer, crimson dyes, and sacrifices in a soon-coming temple in Jerusalem, which according to certain COG mythologists will lead us into the end times so that Satan himself will return to offer sacrifices on that very same altar.

Crimson worm-dye, a key element for red heifer sacrifice; Developed in preparation for 3rd Temple
June 28, 2022 

 

On Monday, the Temple Institute completed its study of the Biblical crimson dye with a practical demonstration. The study is part of the institute’s ongoing Red Heifer project led by Rabbi Yisrael Ariel and his son, Rabbi Azariah Ariel, as the crimson wool is a necessary element in the preparation of the ashes of the red heifer:

The cow shall be burned in his sight—its hide, flesh, and blood shall be burned, its dung included—and the Kohen shall take cedar wood, hyssop, and crimson stuff and throw them into the fire consuming the cow. Numbers 19:5-6 Israel 365

The Great Bwana writes about how significant it was that he was in Jerusalem and even made one of his little videos on the new temple altar:

Sanhedrin makes burnt offering to dedicate altar!
The Reconstituted Sanhedrin performed a ceremony on December 10, 2018 to dedicate a new altar for the use of daily sacrifices. High Priest Rabbi Baruch Kahane officiated. How does this align with Bible prophecy? Daniel wrote three times that the daily sacrifices must stop, hence they first must resume. The Great Tribulation will begin shortly after these sacrifices stop. In this video Dr. Thiel, who has also been to Israel and spoken with The Temple Institute quotes several scriptures and explains why the actions by the Sanhedrin align with prophecy and the end times.

Then, in a dramatic turn of events, pictures himself as the south end of a north-bound red heifer and lectures us on innocent little red heifers.

Never has the Church of God had a leader that seems to deliberately set himself up to be the butt of everyone's jokes? Even Dave Pack, with all of his kitchenware sermon props, fails in the presence of Bwana Bob!

We do not mind though! Keep 'em coming, Buckwheat!

“Prophetic Update” issued to the members of The Restored Church of God on June 27th

Credit: NASA/Sean Smith

 

Lazy Lunatic’s Loony Lunation

 

Here is a “Prophetic Update” issued to the members of The Restored Church of God on June 27^th:

 

The lunation (starting with the black moon that signals Tammuz) begins tomorrow night (Tuesday evening HQ time) at almost the VERY SAME moment as the chodesh (new moon), which starts a FULL day later.

 

This IS significant because we KNEW a FULL day WAS missing!

 

A lunation is 29.5 days, NOT the 28.5 that the last message laid out. Thus, it appears that events can/will be ONE DAY BEFORE what we thought.

 

Time PROHIBITS explaining what happens on this first EXTRA day that involves three shepherds.

 

But God’s promise to the little flock REMAINS EXACTLY THE SAME!

 

 

Let’s digest this and read carefully.

 

The lunation (starting with the black moon that signals Tammuz) begins tomorrow night (Tuesday evening HQ time)

 

A ten second Bing Search for the term “black moon” reveals some interesting information.

 

According to the website Timeanddate: 

 

            “Black Moon is not a well known astronomical term. In recent years, the term has been made popular by social media, astrologers, and followers of the Wiccan religion.”

            “Black Moons hold special significance to people who practice certain forms of Pagan religions and who believe certain actions become more potent when performed on the night of a Black Moon.” When Is the Next Black Moon?

 

Okay, but maybe this is just diabolical mimicry. Surely nobody associates a black moon with end-times prophecy.

 

A snippet from the Sun UK reveals this: 

 

Some believe the phenomenon may usher in the end of the world.

Amanda Cooper, for the San Diego Entertainer, reveals: “There are many superstitions about the Black Moon and many are fearing the worst with its arrival.

"One theorist states that the Black Moon signals the end of the world and the end of all life on earth.

"I guess all we can do is wait." RARE EVENT What is a Black Moon and what does it mean?

All we can do is wait. Hear, hear.

 

I wonder if Dave has ever been sucker-punched because this next fact may truly stun him.

 

The most recent black moon was April 30. The next one is not until May 19 of 2023.

 

If this were baseball…

          1) Black moons are a pagan observation

          2) Black moons are tied to end-times theory

          3) Tonight is not a black moon

 

So much for fact-checking before blasting out a hastily-worded message to the entire church.

 

Unfortunately, The Coffee Kid and Pepper Boy are now going out into the garden to pick out their own switches so Dave can take them behind the lakeside tool shed. Raised in rank one day, brought down in rank another.

 

This IS significant because we KNEW a FULL day WAS missing!

 

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

 

The math wasn’t so perfect after all. In fact, this proves that Dave is TERRIBLE at math. How can you conjure a calendar of events knowing full well you cannot account for a WHOLE day? Men figured that out: It’s called a leap year.

 

Imagine trying to buy a calendar and the cashier behind the counter tells you, “There is a day missing in there somewhere, but I can’t explain it.” And you’re like, “That’s cool. I’ll still buy it.”

 

The people inside The Restored Church of God buy this. They buy this?

 

This is an interesting admission because so much of Dave’s latest guesswork was based on “facts and math.” We already knew that reading comprehension was not a strength, but now we can add “Bad at math” just under “Bad at prophecy” on his LinkedIn Profile.

 

It goes back to a previous point about a prophet needing precision. If you move just one tiny little eenie meenie electron of an atom, you create an entirely different element.

 

In a classic DCP v. DCP move, here is a quote to remember.

 

David C. Pack – February 1, 2021 – Part 285 @ 1:47:42

So in conclusion, all dates interlock and stand or fall together. Moving Christ’s return even one day forward or backwards changes and collapses everything.

 

Back to the Prophetic Update:

 

A lunation is 29.5 days, NOT the 28.5 that the last message laid out. Thus, it appears that events can/will be ONE DAY BEFORE what we thought.

 

Inductive reasoning. Supposition. Human shield mentality. Any option of the multiverse “can/will” happen tonight. That is a “nothing” observation.

 

Time PROHIBITS explaining what happens on this first EXTRA day that involves three shepherds.

 

But God’s promise to the little flock REMAINS EXACTLY THE SAME!"

 

Here is a premonition from a non-prophet/non-psychic: There will plenty of time in the next few days for multiple 90-minute or 2 ½ hour messages of clarity. You can write that on the missing day of your calendar.

 

God’s promise does absolutely remain the same. Just not David C. Pack’s.

Marc Cebrian

 

See: Lazy Lunatic’s Loony Lunation

PCG: How Is Irish Dance Spreading The Gospel?

 

The Philadelphia Church of God has been involved in Irish Dance for many years now. It started when Jude Flurry decided he would like to try to learn it. Thankfully, having a parent second in command and a grandfather who is the apostle/prophet/king, there was no end to the money that could fund this expensive project, all at PCG members' expense.

King Flurry built state-of-the-art dance studios on the cult compound and brought in Irish dance teachers from Edmond and elsewhere to teach little Jude and others how to dance. Children of the elite lined up to join in this worldly adventure. As Jude and the other children grew into adolescence and young adulthood their skills improved dramatically. Jude went on to win several competitions.

Then, low and behold, the PCG came up with a new excuse as to why the church was funding Jude and other PCG elite children with training, clothing, participating in competitions, and travel expenses. Make Irish dance part of the gospel message! Woo Hoo! Brilliant idea!!!!

The PCG had already been producing many musical soap operas for the stage based upon old covenant heroes, all thanks to Ryan Malone. 

Little does the public know that when they attend these shows in various cities they are funding a cult based in Oklahoma that has taken Armstrongism to the extreme.

The Carey Academy

From Exit and Support Network

PCG Brings Over Irish Dancer John Carey:
May 10, 2022 

 

I think most members don’t realize this, and the ones who do are silenced due to the punishment that would come for even questioning it, let alone speaking up about it. But during spring break the “church” brought John Carey over from the UK to instruct the kids. John is an Oxford educated, Irish Dancer with his own school in Birmingham. He was Michael Flatley’s (Lord of the Dance lead) understudy. 

 

I give you his background so people can fully understand where their hard earned money is going! This guy is expensive! But don’t forget to include not only his time, talent and instruction, but also his travel, accommodations and food! 

 

While they will try to dupe their membership into thinking Amy’s and Jude’s little dance show is “the Work,” it simply is not. 

 

Most of these members sacrifice dental care, basic needs and necessities etc.–for this! It’s so sad! –

TONIGHT! 

Come on the royal journey of Irish dance with @celtic_throne! 

🎟️: https://t.co/78tD4V0eH5 pic.twitter.com/ktX3rroFmM

— Ryman Auditorium (@theryman) June 27, 2022

Keeping The Heat On Dave Pack: Dawn Blue Starts New Series On Cults

 

We've been discussing 𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙗𝙚𝙧𝙩 𝘼𝙧𝙢𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙣𝙜'𝙨 𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙𝙬𝙞𝙙𝙚 𝘾𝙝𝙪𝙧𝙘𝙝 𝙤𝙛 𝙂𝙤𝙙 & David C. Pack 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙍𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙚𝙙 𝘾𝙝𝙪𝙧𝙘𝙝 𝙤𝙛 𝙂𝙤𝙙. Many viewers have asked "Why don't we call them and/or refer to them as cults? How It's Done TV has made a separate series called 𝘾𝙪𝙡𝙩𝙨 - 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝘽𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙠𝙙𝙤𝙬𝙣. To help look further into how a cult is defined. For a point of reference, 𝙉𝙚𝙩𝙛𝙡𝙞𝙭'𝙨 𝙎𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙨 𝙀𝙭𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙙, 𝙎𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙤𝙣 2 - 𝙀𝙥𝙞𝙨𝙤𝙙𝙚 1 "𝘾𝙪𝙡𝙩𝙨" is used. We felt that the level of professional experts & their excellent documentary of facts. Was the best way to help break down the topic & help educate viewers. While our guest 𝘿𝙚𝙣𝙣𝙞𝙨 𝘿𝙞𝙚𝙝𝙡, who's a former a 20+ years minister for 𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙𝙬𝙞𝙙𝙚 𝘾𝙝𝙪𝙧𝙘𝙝 𝙤𝙛 𝙂𝙤𝙙. Along with guest 𝙈𝙖𝙧𝙘 𝘾𝙚𝙗𝙧𝙞𝙖𝙣, a former member & employee of 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙍𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙚𝙙 𝘾𝙝𝙪𝙧𝙘𝙝 𝙤𝙛 𝙂𝙤𝙙. Discussed their views & experiences, which may or may not define their churches as cults. We leave it up to the viewers to decide for themselves.

WCTV

Dave Pack: Cancel Your Thursday Lunch Plans!!!!!!

 

Cancel Your Thursday Lunch Plans

 

After only nine blissful days of silence from RCG’s Inept Prophet, David C. Pack was back to further cement his certainty regarding Tammuz 1, which is barreling down on all of us this week. Yes, that includes you.

 

The Greatest Unending Story! (Part 379)

David C. Pack

June 25, 2022

 

@ 06:53 But there is no possible way biblically, no possible way that the month of Tammuz was not the month God always had in His crosshairs in the year He chose to carry out His plan. It’s impossible…It is not possible, write it in your notes. It is not possible that “the Month” the Bible talks about is anything other than the fourth month and Tammuz which is about 96 hours away.

 

@ 18:34 I believe that [Tammuz 1] no less certainly than I believe the seventh day is the Sabbath. That is not one whit stronger belief to me than what we just discovered or that tithing is ten percent or that the Feast is commanded or uh the the the Law is in effect. Those are no more certain to me than understanding this Month.

 

The only weeping going on during Tammuz 2022 will be on the third floor inside The Restored Church of God. Outside, there may be weeps of laughter, but I am really starting to feel bad for Dave.

 

@ 19:14 Now, if I’m gonna get rid of the Mystery of God and make this plain, I was never in a position to be able to say that with absolute bold emphasis. It cannot be any other month. You can go home tonight and put your head on your pillow and rest absolutely secure at with that knowledge.

 

If there was no written record of what Dave has already said, you just might believe him this time. Who else can speak with so much inductive reasoning and supposition as a prophetic foundation?

 

@ 36:45 And God had, I guess, just hold this until the very end. And you’re left to wonder, “What an amazing coincidence. Mr. Pack has been preaching for over 2,400 days and only in the last day or so did it all gel. And he came and laid it out. Oh boy, idn’t it nice it was right on time?” You’re left to wonder is that a coincidence? Or to sit there and let goose bumps develop on your goose bumps because it wouldn’t be a coincidence.

 

The word “coincidence” always gave me the same reaction as the word “metric” when Dave uttered it from the table: my gag reflex would kick in. Coincidence has been a cornerstone of Dave’s theories going back years. Is it a coincidence that I have dozens of quotes of him using a coincidence as a biblical proof? Coincidence? I trow not.

 

Nobody is getting goosebumps in RCG. Maybe douche-chills from hearing more prophetic fingernails on a chalkboard. But that’s not the same thing. 

 

Actually, all the members in the Headquarters Main Hall Meat-Locker are getting goosebumps. But the shawls and gloves are not due to the excitement over the message.

 

Dave had his two “assistants” prep the Tammuz Cooking Class so he can explain everything with glass and pepper.

 

@ 52:13 On Tammuz 1: Christ arrives on a Wednesday night with the Mountain City and the little book that Elijah eats before sounding and prophesying again, including to all kings. All right. An imprecation goes forth. That’s all that’s all at the beginning of the month. If you wanna call this Day 1…13 ½ days starts at dawn…Elijah calls out at dawn…the Gospel is preached to the whole world…animals change…Christ in this 14 days is The Branch growing up out of His place unto the ancient David…every human being who has ever lived is reached by the saints…and somewhere in there, three particularly evil shepherds are cut off at some point…

 

He must be the only one who doesn’t know how awkward it all looks:

 

He then goes on to explain the rest of this jam-packed month, however, the other events are not yet worth mentioning until Day 1 is proven to be true. If ANYTHING biblical manifests on Tammuz 1, I promise to update this article to include the remaining plan.

 

Look, I am no prophet nor am I a psychic. However, here is what I know will happen regarding Tammuz 1: Either the day before or the day after, Dave will have a wonderful announcement how something has become “more clear, more perfect” than ever. The entire month of Tammuz will be declared “still a valid way to look” at the current teachings. “Everything is fine. Nothing has changed. We’re still right on track.” Baloney.

 

@ 1:06:52 I wanna say something and I won’t apologize for it. Dudn’t make me great, it makes God great. But I have explained more about prophecy in my lifetime and in the last 2/3 of a decade than any ten prophets and ten apostles combined and doubled who were ever privileged to know.

 

Only if history proves it to be true.

 

@1:07:42 But Elijah has come first. Period.

 

If God backs him up.

 

@ 1:13:19 Because if it doesn’t happen this Wednesday, that’s exactly what’s gonna happen. If that happened, I would just play the tape of this message. I’d just sit in the back of the hall and play the tape and reveal the exact same mystery plain again. There’d be no point in saying it again, nothing’s gonna change. The Bible won’t change in a year. This picture won’t change in a year.

 

There is no way on God’s green earth that Dave will be able to keep his mouth shut for any significant length of time. Never mind, a whole year. That will not and cannot happen. Again, I am no prophet and I am no psychic, but Dave just loves the attention way too much. This “picture” will absolutely and certainly change.

 

I say: AMEN to the Kingdom of God coming this week. AMEN!

 

HOWEVER

 

This latest string of failed dates is sadly not a personal best for Dave. He already received his blue ribbon back in 2020:

 

• Jesus Christ returns at sunrise on the Sabbath of January 11, 2020
• Jesus Christ returns at sunrise on the Sabbath of January 18, 2020
• Jesus Christ returns at sunrise on the Sabbath of January 25, 2020
• Jesus Christ returns at sunrise on the Sabbath of February 1, 2020
• Jesus Christ returns at sunrise on the Sabbath of February 8, 2020

·      Jesus Christ returns on Friday, February 14, 2020 (Valentine’s Day) 

It did not end here for 2020, by the way.

 

RCG’s Inept Prophet has been proving himself wrong since 2013 (Elul)*. It’s a pretty safe bet he’ll be wrong again this week. 

Dammit. I just used inductive reasoning.

Marc Cebrian