Saturday, December 22, 2012

Europe to Sell Alaska To Russia For Helping To Invade The United States

Craig White, that strange conspiracy ridden man from the southern hemisphere has a new theory about Alaska and the soon coming invading German armies.

We all know that die hard Armstrongites love that the invading Germans who will be setting up concentration camps in the United States in order to torture Americans into repentance.  They seem giddy at the prospect of it happening.

Craig has come up with a new theory about Alaska after reading an article in an Australian paper.

Craig feels that when the U.S. is in a weakened state that Europe will negotiate selling Alaska  to Russia in return for helping destroy the U.S.

I don't know if it will be sold, but as I have been saying for so many years, I do believe that the coming fascistic German-led Europe will negotiate with Russia and offer Alaska back in turn for cooperation when Europe decides to confront the Anglo-Saxon powers.
- Craig

These kind of asinine conspiracy rantings are not isolated cases in Armstrongism. There a hundreds of these idiotic beliefs floating around out there.

That's part of the reason I do this blog.  The Church of God tries to present itself to the world as NORMAL every day Christians.  The problem is the Church of God is anything but normal!  Over 500,000 people have signed on to read about the DAILY weirdness that is Armstrongism.  I am only hitting the tip of the iceberg too!  The Church of God has evolved into an utter mess and is an epic failure in it's religiosity.  It no longer has a vision or purpose and has become irrelevant to humanity.

Friday, December 21, 2012

EW King: December Tornado's Are Because U.S. Leader Is Associated With Harlot Church

E W is bragging today on how accurate his prophecies are.  First it was Thiel and now E.W.   Barf....

Apparently the tornadoes that we had in this country this month was because the President is associated with the Harlot Church.  The King earlier predicted:

I warned in my April and May 2012 prophecy forecasts about strange tornado weather. Since then we have seen record braking tornado counts including just this month, December 2012. On March 21st 2012 I stated:

When this nation supports a leader that belongs to [or a faction of] the Great Harlot church, who follows a false prophet, then destruction is on the way! We have already seen judgments fall on this nation in great out pours in the year 2011. What is coming next will make these judgments look like child's play.
“Let us not forget the tornado swarm of 2011 which started on April 14th and lasted many weeks. Over 200 tornado's! World record! Then the March 12th 2011 earthquake in Japan followed by the devastating title wave. Earthquakes are increasing in power and size and also occurring in new locations. Seismologists record 13,000 earthquakes each day!”

The world's most accurate prophet then states:

On January 6th 2012 I stated: Volcano's are popping up and becoming more active. Strange weather patterns are being measured Earth wide. We are seeing the ice caps melt right before our very eyes. Enormous floods have occurred along with huge hurricanes like never before! Meanwhile 200,000 people starve to death everyday! Are you still sleeping? Fires and wind storms, giant hail....terrorism, wars, outright mass destruction!”
The prophet is also ready for a nuclear device to go off real soon.  Being a Christian will not save your sorry ass though.

I have also talked about signs in the “heavens”. On April 10th 2012 I stated: “The Bible warns about objects falling out of the sky and many other strange events yet to come. I do not doubt that a nuclear device will go off. Where? That I am not sure of. The World of Christendom will Not Help!”
E.W. just joins the tail end of a long line of false prophets and liars in Armstrongism.  Not a single one of them has had any accuracy and never will.

Bob Thiel: Armstrongism's Most Accurate Prophet

Bob Thiel, Living Church of God's prophetic voice on prophecy, Mayan gibberish and all things Catholic, is bragging today about his radio interviews over the last couple of days regarding the end of the world on December 12, 2012.

It is interesting to me that he works over time in disproving the Mayan  and Catholic visions of of Fatima while never paying any attention to the false prophecies and outright lies uttered over the decades by Roderick C Meredith, Gerald Waterhouse and Herbert Armstrong.  Literally hundreds of false predictions and prophecies by these men have failed miserably yet these men are raised up as virtuous wise men. Thousands of lives have been damaged and scared by these liars, yet they are given a "get out of jail" card for free.

Despite the utter failure of these men, there is one rising star in the Living Church of God that has a proven track record of his predictions being right.  At least in his eyes. 

Bob Thiel writes about his amazing accuracy:

Since my book 2012 and the Rise of the Secret Sect came out in 2009, I have been able to reach millions via radio (presuming audience size estimates I have been told are correct)–world events already have confirmed at least 24 predictions in it, and by the end of this month, apparently at least 27.  Interestingly, my online article End of Mayan Calendar 2012–Might 2012 Mean Something? has had between 500,000-600,000 page views on the internet since it first came out.

While Satan seemingly has plans for 2012 related to false declarations of peace (cf. Ezekiel 13) and getting people to scoff about prophecy (cf. 2 Peter 3), as COGwriter, I have tried to explain to people interested in end time matters that Bible prophecy can be trusted and that it is not possible for today to be TEOTWAWKI (the end of the world as we know it).

Bible prophecy uttered by a Church of God minister or member is NOT accurate and CANNOT be trusted!   Every single one of them have been proven to be liars.

From Rakish Queensland Islander To Delusional Prophet

Andrew Martin in the late 1980s; during his years on Middle Percy Island, 
he became increasingly preoccupied with religion.

Here is a news story from Queensland about a man who's life was sent into a tail spin because of Armstrongism and British Israelism.

Religious fundamentalism and isolated, self-sufficient communities often go hand-in-hand, and Martin increasingly saw Middle Percy as a lifeboat in a world "drowning in sin". But how did an educated, carefree adventurer come to embrace such grim notions? Jon Hickling - who, with his wife, Liz, and their two young sons, lived on Middle Percy for 12 years - solves that abiding mystery with two words: egg cartons.

"The story Andy told us," he explains, "was that sometime in the late '60s, the Whites [former leaseholders] sent him over some egg cartons he needed on the stores boat. They were wrapped in a magazine from the Worldwide Church of God, led by someone called [Garner Ted] Armstrong. Andy wasn't religious up to that point, although he grew up in the Church of England, but when he unwrapped that magazine, and read it from cover to cover, he just went, 'Wow!' He felt like he'd been hit on the head by a thunderbolt and had seen the light."

Martin subscribed to the magazine, and became a convert to the church's theory, known as British Israelism, which holds that white races (especially the British) are descended from the Ten Lost Tribes of Israel, and are God's "chosen people". Before falling from favour for his philandering, Armstrong - described by one US writer as preaching to a "subculture of lonely, frightened, disoriented Americans" - also had a worldwide radio audience of millions, including Andy Martin.

By the early '90s, with his physical health in decline, Martin had become unbalanced. "He believed he was being communicated with directly by God as some sort of prophet," Hickling tells me. "It was very interesting, to say the least."

The Hicklings were practical yachties who'd arrived on Middle Percy in 1989. They built their own house near the homestead - "We couldn't have lived with Andy; others tried and just couldn't cope" - worked long hours improving the island's gardens and infrastructure, taught their sons via distance education, and did their best to look after the evermore erratic Martin.

In 1996, Martin left the island, telling the Hicklings he had to return to England to warn the British people of God's coming retribution unless they changed their evil ways. He promised to contact Queensland's Department of Natural Resources (now Environment and Resource Management) and have the Hicklings named joint leaseholders in recognition of the effort and money they'd put into Middle Percy. But because the latest 10-year pastoral lease was soon to expire, the department declined - a fateful glitch the Hicklings weren't aware of until it was too late.

Aaron Dean on UCG Cash Flow Problems

Those poor overworked boys at UCG have had to cut out all kinds of expenditures that have made life so much more difficult.  Poor things!

Financial Report—Aaron Dean

The Church is currently receiving 5 percent more income than last year, which is a blessing, but it doesn’t make up for our current allocated expenditures. The special offering has so far reached almost $400,000. He explained that we are not in a bind to pay our current bills and that the main concern is our cash flow. None of our spending has been for anything except caring for the Church and preaching the gospel—the business of the Church.

The reason for the special offering letter was due to the reduction in bank balances by the use of reserves to care for pastorates and to preach the gospel. In losing a third of our prior income ($7 to $9 million per year which is it), we knew that the planned use of reserves could not go on indefinitely and that we would have to cut back in due course. It did cost more than we initially anticipated to have ministers visit churches without pastors until workable solutions could be found. Extra travel and accrued mileage was necessary to allay unfounded rumors of doctrinal change.

We did not replace every pastor that left, and have reorganized several circuits to be more efficient. Our annual payroll was $8.1 million before the split, and last year it was only at $5.7 million—even though we were serving virtually the same number of congregations. Additionally, costs for international subsidies, international Good News (GN) subscriptions (plus booklets) were growing and all being funded by the Church in the U.S. We didn’t try to expand, but we did spend a lot to maintain operations and our congregations in America and internationally. Current growth will allow a reasonable level of service even with the budget realignments.

We are now seeking to increase cash balances to avert projected cash-flow shortages before the annual Holy Days. We are cutting nearly $2 million to have a balanced budget. Since it was a special offering, it will be not be listed as regular income or used in projections for budgeting next year.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

It's Time For UCG, COGWA and LCG's Annual Christmas Celebration Weekends

It's late December and time for the annual United Church of God, Church of God a Worldwide Association and Living Church of God's pseudo-Christmas weekends.  All three groups have been been raked over the coals for holding this event for years now.  They pick Christmas time to do this every year.

Of course this has set apostle Malm off the deep end today because he sees this as further proof that paganism is rampant in the Church of God.

The apostle starts his article off today bemoaning the fact that none of the COG's keep the 7 day Unleavened Bread like the WCG did prior to Loma's death.  Malm blames this on Stanley Rader, but for most it was a matter of survival to not have to travel twice a year to feast sites.  Jobs were lost, families suffered and children had issues at school.

Malm wants these two 7 day feasts back because they are true festivals of God, unlike the Christmas festivals that UCG, COGWA and LCG now hold. He does not like the fact that they refuse to keep these days like they used to, but instead pay homage to Christmas in an indirect way.

Malm is not entirely wrong in pointing out the hypocrisy of the UCG's stance on Christmas when they have these weekends during Christmas.

Why mention this now?  Because most of  the WCG daughters still do not obey God and keep the Festival of ULB for the full seven days like Tabernacles, yet they can hold several days of partying around Christmas time.

Whether it is called a “Winter Festival”  or a “Winter family Weekend”  is only semantics.  If it is observed between the winter solstice and the end of December it is a Christmas celebration in the eyes of every onlooker and it is a terrible example for society.

To teach that it is wrong to observe and then to be out partying as others hold their office and pre Christmas party’s makes us all appear hypocrites and is most confusing to people.  This is most definitely NOT letting our light of example shine before the world.  Quite the opposite it is an appearance of evil and an attempt to get as close to what we claim to abhor as we can without using the actual word Christmas.

COGWA is also holding their own version that is animation of UCG's weekend.  Malm writes

This annual event is now being copied by several other churches, including the Church of God a Worldwide Association, which is linking attendance at its Family Weekend in Louisville, Kentucky (Dec 21-25), to pursuing righteousness (Matt.6:33)
“Throughout the years the Winter Family Weekend has served the church as a wonderful escape from what the world offers during December.” 
When UCG stated this family weekend end it was done so a supposed opportunity to "escape" from the filthy pagans around them.  The problem is that they hold these events in locations that are decked out in Christmas decorations each year.  COGWA just carries on that tradition since they apostatized from UCG.

Malm is particularly incensed at COGWA for the location of it''s winter family weekend. It is in a location that is decked out to the max for Christmas.  Malm is is right in asking what they are supposedly "escaping" from.

COGWA denounces the pagan symbols and rituals of the Christmas festival, but how will its choice of venue, the Galt House Hotel, help its “spiritual family members … to escape from what the world offers”?

COGWA President Jim Franks says this weekend in Christmas fantasy land will exceed even the Feast sites!  WOW!  I love it!

Jim Franks, COGWA President, states that the attendance at the Galt House Hotel will exceed that of many of their Festival of Tabernacles sites.

Then Malm points out the best part.  Dave Register is having a White Elephant gift exchange at their Christmas weekend!
In Portland, Dave Register is asking everyone to bring wrapped presents for a White Elephant Bingo. This is a party game with one gift being given to each person, and then when unwrapped they are traded around.
 David Register:    Pastors Update and Announcements – Dec 13 2012
White Elephant Bingo!
We will be playing Bingo on Saturday night, December 22nd. As a participant, please bring a wrapped, inexpensive (under $10) prize/gift that has no markings on the wrapping. No one should know who it is from or what it is. Adult tables will be able to trade in their prize for a better option. The children tables will not be trading gifts. More details to follow. Please bring both adult and children gifts that are individually wrapped. Please see the White Elephant Rules on the announcement table for more details.
 Malm nails them with this comment:

 How like a traditional pre-Christmas party game.  But the name is different so it isn’t really observing Christmas?  Right?  What pathetic and childish  self deception!  Remember that Christmas was originally a celebration of the winter solstice and  the rebirth of the sun, and was only relabeled Christ-Mass by the Roman Catholics.
Even Meredith's shrinking group is joining in for Christmas celebrations at this time.  However, like most hard core Armstrongites, LCG is looking backwards in time.  Things were better years and decades ago.  Things were simpler.  In light of those wishful times LCG is encouraging their family weekend attendees to dress up in costumes of clothing that they think earlier generations of COGers wore.  I mean REALLY????  How stupid is this?  Dressing up like COG members in Eugene Oregon?  Give me a break!

LCG Winter Weekend in Kansas City:   We will have a Friday night Bible Study beginning at 7:00. Services on Saturday will begin at 1:00 p.m. We will be serving taco salad with all the fixings for dinner after services. Or if you’d prefer, there are plenty of options for restaurants in the area. After the meal, we’ll be having a fun show and dance.

The theme for this year’s fun show and dance is “Through the Ages.” Dress up in your favorite fashions of any decade in the 20th century. Remember, you don’t have to dress in “church clothes,” but the tasteful styles that might have been worn by Church brethren during a specific decade in the 1900s. Of course, casual wear, including jeans, is acceptable. For entertainment before the dance, the “Through the Ages” Radio Show will “broadcast” timeless songs, skits and fun for all ages. We would love to add YOUR talents to the show! If you care to share, please visit the Web site and click “Fun Show” to sign up. If you can perform or put a spin on a song, comedy routine, famous radio broadcast or even a commercial of the 1900s, please sign up.

Merry Christmas and to all a good night!

Sunday, December 16, 2012

M John Allen: Yahweh is a Reptilian Extraterrestrial From the Planet Nibiru

John Allen, that crazy COG member who pitched a temper tantrum last September when he said he was quitting his ministry because no one paid any attention to him is back after a crisis in faith

He claims now to have rejected his belief in God, at least according to Armstrongite mythology.

Allen has changed his view on God:

I do not consider myself to be a Christian anymore in any traditional sense of the word. I believe in GOD, but my concept of God is so far evolved past anything that so called “Christianity” embraces that it is like night and day. 

Yes, there is a God, but none of man’s religions, including the tired and worn out Churches of God, come even close to understanding Him in any meaningful sense of the word. Let me illustrate just one small point.

The traditional religions of man view God as some celestial King sitting on His Throne, frowning down on a sinning mankind and hurling down thunderbolts on “sinners.” He also “passes judgment” on the dead, who are either sent to a Heaven if they were good or a Hell if they were bad in this life. 

They thus treated God as some kind of human King and thought He organized the universe accordingly, which is not true at all. “God” actually IS the Universe, or the Force, or whatever you want to call it. He doesn’t judge the way that men would judge things because He doesn’t think the way that men would think. He is so far above all of this stuff going on down here it is like night and day.

He also has a hard time with the Bible and how it is written:

My position on the Bible has also changed. I no longer believe it is the literal word of God, in the sense that He “dictated it” to various scribes down through the ages. I also know that certain important books that were in the original Bible, like the Book of Enoch, were ripped out by the Catholic Church and repressed because they didn’t like what it said. Never mind that certain passages of what is in the New Testament are direct quotes from the Book of Enoch, or that it is not possible to understand certain portions of the Bible without this knowledge.

The Plain Truth is that the Bible was tampered with by evil men who tore things out they didn’t like and inserted some things they liked. Thus, even though the Bible is an ancient book filled with great wisdom, to say that it is word for word the “Word” of God is flawed at best. However, the Bible IS still like a jigsaw puzzle and you can’t fully understand it without putting the pieces together on each subject as we have always taught. It would be foolish to just toss the whole thing in the trash too. So we draw on it as a source of wisdom.

These changes in understanding pale in contrast to his belief in extraterrestrials.  That remains unchanged:

As to my thoughts on the reptilians, Nibiru, etc., at this point let me just state the following. I will elaborate further as time permits and as the subject comes up. I believe what the Bible calls “angels” are actually shape shifting aliens from Nibiru whose ultimate form is reptilian. You can read a whole chapter on this on our old website. It needs serious revision, but as far as it goes, Secret Mysteries of the Ages is still mostly correct.

Nibiru was called “heaven” in ancient times, and “heaven” is where the “gods” came from. Primarily, the faction that reached this planet was the negative faction, because there “was war in heaven [Nibiru], and Satan [the leader of the losing side in the war] fought against God Almighty the GOD OF ARMIES. Since “god” had 2/3 of the angels on his side, he defeated his rival and banished him and the majority of his “angels” to this planet. He plans to come back on the next passage of Nibiru and finish the job, and banish them to a “bottomless pit” on Nibiru. 

Thus, the being that we know as Yahweh, or the “personal god” is none other than the King of Nibiru. He is not to be confused with the Force, or the Universe, which is actually the true GOD. In this respect, he is sort of an impostor, albeit a very powerful one. From our limited perspective, he and his council of gods in heaven ARE gods as they are far more powerful than we are, but they are NOT GOD in the ultimate sense, although they may have convinced themselves by now that they are.

The Annunaki are one of the first civilized races to have evolved in the universe. They date from the dawn of time and have very long lifespans. However, they have stagnated while much younger races have finally discovered who they were, what they were, and progressed to the next level. Meanwhile, the Annunaki are stuck running around in circles chasing their tails. I am convinced they are caught up in this dualistic so called reality, and still see the physical universe as real. They have never come to grips with the problems of the ego, and have never progressed any further than they are now. They are technologically very advanced. Satan is the champion of the technological path. It is his belief that competition is the right way to go and that it is every “man” for himself. He is the originator of the divide and conquer method used to rule this world, because, behind the scenes, he is the ruler of this world.

Yahweh, on the other hand, is close to enlightenment but is still missing the mark. He and his angels realize that cooperation is the right way of life, and that love is the main force in the universe. However, they are somehow still missing the mark. I don’t know how, but they still don’t get it correctly, whatever “it” is.


You can read previous entries about M John Allen here:

UFO's, Space Stations, Inhabited Planets, Lucifer's Home Planet, Autotrophs, and Dating Issues

$1,000 A Month Gets You Into This COG Inner Sanctum

"I don't even care if you are listening anymore. If you refuse to obey God from now on, YOUR LIFE IS OVER."

Armstrongite Confirms: War In Heaven Is Going On NOW!

Jesus and John Allen Say $1,000 A Month Gets You In On Plan "B"

John Allen: About To Lay Bare All The Deep Dark Secrets Of The Ages

M John Allen: Passive Aggressive Prophet Calls It Quits (Again)

COG Leader/Prophet Says: "A Big Plane Will Fall From Sky"

The Church of God has always had prophets in it's midst, but none have ever been as successful as E W King in making his prophecies come true.

Today he has two prophecies:

*A big plane will fall from the sky.

*A female leader will die.

This morning I had a “dream” about a big plane falling from the sky. At the same time I saw what appeared to be birds or “a” bird falling next to it. After this, I awoke and heard a voice in my mind tell me: “This is the marker.”
Now I do not know what this exactly means and I do not usually share my dreams. But this one seems important in that it points to something bigger. I will also tell you that I had another dream recently where a woman leader died. She appeared important and the impression was that she held some kind of important position.
I bring these up because lately I have been studying Matthew ch.24 regarding the Great Tribulation. I believe that before the tribulation begins those leaders of the fallen “Worldwide Church of God” groups must repent and throw away all of their false doctrines, if they do not they will become part of the coming “abomination of desolation”. Perhapes my recent dreams have something to do with marking a time regarding the abomination of desolation.