Sunday, April 17, 2011

Have You Thrown Out Your Baking Soda Toothpaste Yet?





 Time is short, the end is near.  Only a few hours till all that leavening needs to be dumped in the garbage!!!!!

Have you cleaned your toaster, checked your suit pockets and pants cuffs for those stray pieces of sinful life that hides in you?

Have you moved the refrigerator from the wall, cleaned out your cupboards in the kitchen and scrubbed the refrigerator?

Have you vacuumed the car for those stray bread crumbs from your morning donut or sandwich on the run?

Have you cleaned your children's toy box for that cookie they lost the other day?

Have you looked at the labels on your vitamins and thrown out the brewers yeast tablets, just to be safe?

What about the baking soda pack in the fridge that is used exclusively to clean out odors?

What about your tube of baking soda toothpaste?

And there's the sodium bicarb that you use in the pool to regulate alkalinity, has it been dumped yet?

What about that box of frozen egg whites that you keep on hand to use in your baking to make your cakes light and flurry, or for that delicious fudge.  Have you dumped it yet?

Have you deleavened your home all by your self or brought in other church members to help you clean?  That is what many of your illustrious ministers and evangelists did and still do to this day.

HWA never cleaned any leavening out of his home or offices, neither did his two cook/housekeepers.  Instead they made employee's come in and clean HWA's home and offices for him.

Students used to have to scrub all the dining room chairs in the Student Center with toothbrushes to get the leavening out.  They also at one point in time had to hand scrub the teak wood floor in the Student Center for all those pesky pieces of bread and cake.  They had to use toothbrushes and toothpicks to get inteh cracks and crevices in the wood. Meredith, McNair, LaRavia and others made custodians come in and clean their homes for them.  Silly sheeple!  Here you could have had others cleaning your houses all along!

The same magical belief system still controls members to this day.  They think they are required to do it, that their salvation is dependent on it and that their works have redeemed them.


7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I recall, right in the middle of a UB sermon reaching into my pocket and palming a cookie I had stored there for my son who knows when. I pulled it out...may as well use the moment...and showed the congregation and said, "See...you try your best and your best just isn't good enough." Got a great laugh and you could feel the relief of the previous days cleanings ooooooooooozzze out. :)

Of course, now I'd just eat the crazy thing.

Anonymous said...

Don't forget the air in your car tires. If anything puffs up and inflates, it's that! :)

I think history proves that there is an inverse relationship between dwelling on and being castigated for sin and actually committing "sin."

The more the organization put out the physical leaven, the worse the sins, of the organization. Go figure...

Also true on a human level. Even Paul, who may or may not have put out leaven depending on what day of the week you read him being for or against "the law," seems to admit the things he should do, he didn't etc.

Paul did away with much and it always came back to bit him in the bum. The Corinthian Church is a good example of Memebers gone wild.

Anonymous said...

Don't you know that all these people are forgiven of all their sins and making fun of them will send you straight to perdition? I mean, after the "Passover" they are the only true righteous?

Yeah, right.

It should be noted, besides keeping the Lord's Supper on the wrong night, they've keep the Night to Be Much Observed on the evening of the Passover. Some of them will go out to restaurants to keep the Night to Be Much Observed. Gotcha! It's a sin to go out to a restaurant on a Holyday! (A little hyperbole never hurt anyone -- no wait, it did!) Ezra and Nehemiah would not even let you enter back in through the gates of the city.

What's really disturbing about this is that the UCG minister may joke about it in services afterward on the Second Day of Unleavened Bread. Oh, these people are so screwed up, it makes it all almost worth it. The joke is on all of them. They didn't keep the Holyday on the right day ever and to make it worse, even if they did keep the Holyday at the right time, they would have sinned immediately. However, since the Night to Be Much Observed isn't really on the Holyday, they didn't sin by eating out at a restaurant unless they got croutons or something. Unless Leviticus 23actually means that you keep the 14th AND the 15th as holy convocations! Then you really lose! You've already sinned and you haven't even made across the Red Sea.

So, if you can't make the "Passover" and you keep it (mostly) a month later, does this mean you also keep the Days of Unleavened Bread seven days a month later?

Egyptians 1; Armstrongists nothing.

Anonymous said...

A more important question to ask is, are the Armstrongist ministers going to put away the "leavening" during the Days of Unleavened Bread.

For example, is Gerald Flurry going to stop being "That Prophet" blasphemously claiming he is Jesus Christ in the flesh? If I were a deity, I'd be ticked.

And Ron Weinland? Is he going to stop being a false prophet?

What of David Pack, Dennis Luker, John Rittenbaugh?

And Roderick Meredith?! The biggest liar of all! Never committed any major sin: By claiming that, he's committing a major sin -- a really big one.

There's so many more, we couldn't hope to cover them all.

But here's an opportunity: By the end of the week, take all the skeletons out the closet and burn them, lest a worse thing come upon you.

After all, it's the right thing to do.

Steve said...

Douglas Becker said: It should be noted, besides keeping the Lord's Supper on the wrong night, they've keep the Night to Be Much Observed on the evening of the Passover.

MY COMMENT: Huh? I thought the Lord's Supper was the same time that Jesus introduced it, which would have been the beginning of the 14th, that night, then the Passover EVENT happened close to the end of the 14th, then eaten on the beginning of the 15th. Did I miss something?

Anonymous said...

Yes, Steve, you did.

It's all pretty much irrelevant, but all you have to do is examine Exodus 12 VERY carefully and then look at the accounts in the New Testament.

We were all conned.

Steve said...

Douglas Becker said: but all you have to do is examine Exodus 12 VERY carefully and then look at the accounts in the New Testament.

MY COMMENT: I have...many times. I still can't find where you are right. Armstrong wasn't right either.