I am so pleased. After decades of splits,
schisms, splinters and slivers, the True Church is on the cusp of
reunification. I can hardly believe it but I know it is true. The
Bible and specifically the minor prophet Haggai has made this awesomely
clear. Only the unregenerate and uncalled cannot see it. Not only is
the text clearly speaking of our times today, but Joshua the High Priest, a mere
type in Haggai, is a living human incarnation today in our own times has
declared it. What a time to be alive!
I am so looking forward to the Feast of Tabernacles
once again. While I have little second tithe saved because I did not know
in time that this Fall unification would come, I intend to feast off the
spiritual messages that I am sure will inspire beyond all measure. I may
have to apply for 3-T assistance, but I'm sure it will flow to help those who
were hoodwinked and deceived over the years by their liberal and lazy
assed ministry. "Round Up 2013," as I like to think of
it. I so want to be rounded up!
All Pens Become ONE!!!!
Personally I have six weeks or maybe a bit more time to get my own act together. I really want to speak at this first feast of unity and the rebirth of the True Church. I know I have been kind of a stinker having learned many things that I wish I had been taught as a younger man, but all will be forgiven I just know! I will act sorry as I can...
BUT....we need some compassionate rules is this unification is going to go well from the gitmo..git go. The huddled masses yearning to be even more confined than in the past but breathing to be "free" need to be treated gently but also FIRMLY!. They have been starved and are spiritually emaciated so it is simply not wise to feed them too much too quickly. There will be spiritual puke all over the Festival Floors and that is just not a way to get unification going. So...some rules please for the FIRST real FOT since the death of Herbert W. Armstrong and the rise of the Apostle Joshua C. Pack who is now in place to bring all things spoken of in the prophets and really the whole Bible to pass shortly..finally! This is the real "shortly" and "soon brethren," as long as you don't ask about the long term building programs and such, and how they fit into shortly and soon.
Ok here goes.
Rule 1
References to the newbies being blinded,
deceived, mislead, trashed, lied to, watered down or luke warmish will not be
used often if at all. They now know this but it is a salt in the wound
thing. So please, watch your mouths. However, if necessary for
effect, the Apostle reserves the right to rub it in and reinforce badness
especially in the ministry
Rule 2
References by the Lord of Restored to
Watcher/Apostle/The Chosen/Joshua the High Priest etc shall be limited to just
three per hour of sermon time. Of course, this rule must
be approved by the Apostle and subject to change and will probably be
ignored which is fine, just a suggestion. This will insure no more than 12
to 15 reminders of who is in charge now and why in any one day.
Rule 3
Joshua the High Priest shall not use the words
"I", "Me" or "My" more than three times per hour of sermon time to limit a sense
of ego centric ministry. Again, subject to Apostle Approval.
God/Christ and the Holy Spirit should be referenced often with careful use
of the name "Jesus" so not give the impression the Church has already slipped
into nicey Jesus mode and is already off track before the end of the first
day. The Apostle does have the right to over ride the frequency of me, I
and my if necessary to teach just where all the blessings of this Festival came
from.
Rule 4
Even thought it is an awesome idea and the
Apostle Joshua is irritated he did not think of it sooner himself, offerings
will not be taken up every day of the Feast. Long standing members of the
Restored Church are exempt this year from having to give anything since they are
learning you can only send it all in once and have little left to give.
Rule 5
There will only be 17 Orange feast stickers this
year. One for each member of the council of agreers and one for the
Apostle. To distinguish the Apostle from the Agreers, the Apostle's car
will have one of each sticker beginning with Orange, going to Red and then mere
green in that order. This is the only vehicle that will be allowed to park
either behind or on the stage.
Rule 6
Only current, in good standing RCG members will
have green stickers. Those flowing unto the feast in reunification will
receive NO sticker this year. You will park in Row E with Row A being
one space for the Apostle if needed. Row B having 16 spaces for the
Council of Agreers and Row C having 120 spaces for the local church. Row D
for the 100 visitors from out of state and Row D with 49 spaces for
those in the returning diaspora.
Rule 7
All RCG members will meet and greet each
returning saint wearing rubber gloves. We must not kid ourselves.
These folk still have the stink and dirt of their grievous ways and experiences
all over them. After the Apostle Joshua gives them a washing by his words,
gloves use will be a personal choice and not mandatory. You may NOT take
the cost of your own gloves out of Second Tithe! The more excess 2-T you
have, the more you can throw in the final offering.
Rule 8
Opening night of the Feast will begin ON TIME at
7 PM and end around 1 AM depending. Any employees who fall out of the
window or their seats and are injured will cover the costs of their own medical
care and not charge the church. Members who fall out will be left where
they lie so others don't miss the dynamic revelations that up to now have not
been revealed. Those in the Diaspora who fall out will be revived
IMMEDIATELY, placed back in their seats and slapped in the face until they
recover to continue taking notes.
Rule 9
Services the first holy day and all subsequent
days will begin at 9 AM and end at Noon. Afternoon services will begin at
2 and run til 5 and evening services will be from PM to 1 am or there
abouts. In the spirit of restoration, all services are mandatory. We
have much ground to cover and the Apostle feels he has never quite given a
sermon like these, well maybe back in December of 1988 but really not quite like
this one.
Rule 10
Lunch and dinner between services will be held in
the hall with all attendees bringing a simple bag lunch. Singles should
bring watermelons. There is NO sense in spending God's money in the
community when we have much better things we can do with it right here at
HQ. Please keep your lunch expenses to $2 per family member and dinner at
$2.25. The differences between that and what meals eaten out would
cost can add nicely to the Holy day offerings if you get my drift.
Rule 11
All free time by those in the returning diaspora
shall be spent in reviewing sermon notes . If you have any questions, you
must ask one of the 16 on the Council of Agreers for the answers as only they
have the answers. The Apostle Joshua will take no questions during the
Festival and none after, or ever. Trust and obey, for in RCG, there is no
other way...but to trust and obey...
Rule 12
There will be no first aid station as the Apostle
Joshua has one of the best healing records in the ministry in all
splinters. Pre-anointed cloths will be available in the lobby for a love
offering of at least $25. The monies will be used to purchase the Steuben
piece, "Joshua Fits the Battle of Jericho" for the Apostle Joshua, who has his
eye on it for years. No refunds if you do not feel
healed.
Rule 13
There will be A Youth Basketball Camp after
evening services every other day of the feast from sometime after 1 AM to 3
AM. Prospective Ambassador students will meet with the Apostle and
the Council of 16 Agreers alone every morning from 5-7AM by appointment
only.
Rule 14
Those wishing to take the Restored Church Bible
Correspondence Course need to sign up this Feast and submit a 7 page paper
explaining just why you wish to take the course. You MUST also sign an
agreement to return all Correspondence Course Materials to the Restored Church
of God if accepted to take the course or flunk big time.
Rule 15
All returning COG former members who were
disfellowshipped by God himself, and that is all of you, will meet with the
Apostle Joshua in a private reinstatement ceremony. You MUST all be
rebaptised into the Father, the Son (Christ), the Holy Spirit, The Apostle
Joshua and the Council of 16 to be washed of your past affiliations.
Rule 16
Returning "ministers" not properly prepped before
the Festival this year will wear the "Shoddy Shepherd Shirt" you were sent
when you applied for the Festival and to return to God's Church. Since
there are so many of you and naming you all publicly would take up precious
sermon time, this First Festival requirement for all ministers so called is
required as part of your journey back to wholeness. Any non-RCG minister
or not yet officially forgiven and sanctioned newbies caught speaking with the
brethren without the shirt on will be dismembered once again for good.
Don't make us hurt you.
Rule 17
All food stuffs MUST be purchased from Giant
Eagle located adjacent to the property. We have made special arrangements
with GE and they will kick in some money for the "Joshua Fit the Battle of
Jericho" Steuben Ware, if we sent them some business. So, if you are not
in need of healing this Feast, you can still help get that Steuben to our
Apostle Joshua with giving Giant Eagle your Feast business.
Rule 18
Once you come on to the property for the
Festival, please do not leave again until after the last song of the PM to 1 am
service. If you have used your free time efficiently you will have no
need to waste expensive gas driving around town looking for something else to
do. There is NOTHING else to do in Wadsworth but be at God's Feast and
brainwashing each other into believing all you will hear is so.
Rule 19
Please consider sleeping in your cars or perhaps
bringing a small efficient tent to use on the property. With as little
time as you would actually be at motel, those monies can be used for God's work
and Holy Day offerings. Quiet time for sleep will be from 2 AM to 6 AM
unless you are a prospective AC student seeking counseling from the 16. Then you
will be allowed to be up and about by 4:45 AM
Rule 20
Clapping and standing ovations are ONLY ALLOWED
for that which the Apostle Joshua says or does. At no time shall you clap
for sermons given by any others. You MUST clap for the Apostle Joshua's
sermons. And please sound sincere. Clapping is also encourage when
the Apostle Joshua enters the Tabernacle. You may line up after the
services to speak with the Apostle in turn as long as the Apostle is
available. Please keep any bad attitudes in check should the Apostle leave
before being able to speak with you. Please try again.
Rule 21
There will be a special "Ministers Falsely Up To
Now So Called" luncheon for returning ministers and their wives. After the
Festival, the Apostle Joshua C. Pack will send out a list of approved returning
ministers and their ass-ignments if there are any. Returning ministers who
fail to return well or properly will be marked and named for the protection of
the Church. Of course, we wish them no ill will and are not messing with
them ever again.
Well, I think that pretty much overs it. Reunification and the best Feast ever...Just six weeks away!
Thank You Je....Christ!
contact Dennis at DennisCDiehl@aol.com
15 comments:
Unfortunately, Jesus will not be attending, since he has not saved any second tithe, but more importantly, he is not perfect enough and just not welcome.
If Jesus shows sufficient evidence of his repentance and submission to Davey Pack, then he might be allowed to attend the Feast next year, but will have to wear a sign that he is on probation with the Restored Church of God and is not to speak one word about either love or redemption.
The Church of God Seventh Day will not be attending because of their history of 150 years of being New Testament Christians, they have nothing in common with the Pharisees of Olde Testament Christianity.
Rule 22
If your children are making noises during the sermon, take them to the spanking room and beat the hell and satan out of them with the paddle that is for sale at the information table in the front lobby. The spokesman club made enough clubs to go around. You can use your tithe of the tithe of the tithe to purchase one.
Rule 23
Women, throw all of your make-up in the trash can located at the entrance doors as you come into God's house. We will recycle all of it and sell it to whores and use the proceeds to build another fine building for God.
Rule 24
Men, never take your suit coat off during services. Remember, you are coming before the apostle and God. You must look your best, no matter how uncomfortable you are.
Rule 25
People, do not sit in the soft cushioned seats reserved for "ministers", "repentant ministers", and "deacons". Your seats are the hard metal chairs located in the back of the bus.
Rule 26
There is a little pocket calendar located at the information table that says "God's calendar"(actually it's the Jewish calendar, but that's GOD'S CALENDAR!) You can purchase one for $5. It shows you all the holydays in accordance with the pagan calendar that you use all year long. And, don't forget Elul.
Rule 27
Never use the word "Jesus" when fellowshipping with the brethren.And, always use the words "MR Pack" in every other sentence. All opening and closing prayers will also be packed with "MR Pack".
"Council of Agreers"! I love it, how fitting and true. Dave loves to surround himself with yes men who leave their thinking caps off and put on their tinfoil hats of agreement.
TLM
I always gave Flurry my best Joker clap (slow sarcastic claps) when he made his stage entrances and exits. The only PCG non-Apostle to ever achieve applaudably status was Marvin Campbell, even though he's long retired, the Church still holds him in high esteem as their number 2 guru, why, I do not know, it's still an unsolved mystery; but, someday, Stevie will take his rightful place.
The only thing missing from your latest articles is a snapshot or video of GF's controlled parking gate, not the main gates, but the one that only grants a Flurry car access to the drive leading back to the Apostle's office. A courageous soul within the organization (I speak as a fool) or concert-goer needs to smuggle out the footage of the Apostle/Prophet passing through his craven gate, and then post it here; it would speak volumes to the Church. No doubt, Pack has plans to add one just like it, if he hasn't already.
It's been a long time since I was involved with WCG, or a splinter. When I left, immediately following the Disappointment of 1975, and having discovered the total indefensibility of some of the "doctrines", as well as the internal corruption of the organization, I decided for the first time that if there were any solutions, it would be necessary to find them outside of the group which we'd all been led to believe was "God's True Church".
There comes a time in every human's life where one seeks and needs a silver bullet, one that will provide a total solution to the major factors in one's life which are either wrong, or undesirable. Some people, whether they realize it or not, are just born manipulators who end up preying upon such human needs. These predators, who wrongly and criminally insert themselves into the category of genuinely altruistic caregivers, also realize the need for silver bullets, and develop persuasive programs which they offer up as being total solutions. Reality is, their proposals end up not as silver bullets, but conform to another well-worn metaphor: carrot dangling. And, in fact, their particular carrot always has a price tag associated with it, whether involving your finances, your time, or your unwavering loyalty.
For decades, the WCG produced a wide variety of conflicting symptoms which demanded a solution. Harsh interpretation of such Biblical matters as divorce and remarriage and medical science, bogus and ever self-postponing prophecies, cruel parenting skills, oppressive "leadership", unrelenting financial fleecing accompanied by forbidden accountability to the fleeced regarding the incredible waste, and the failure to provide nurturing, loving, spiritual guidance are but a few of the major aspects to the "Armstrong problem". Worse yet, it is all cloaked in an aura of incredible arrogance, presented as being "God's government on Earth".
Having watched all of this for many years, I know that past and present participants in this horrible debacle will continue to cry out for various types of silver bullet solutions. Past, present, and aspiring "leaders" will continue to even resort to outright craziness to convince these people that they alone have that solution, that coveted silver bullet. But, it is all an illusion. There is no silver bullet. Especially not from anything which has even been remotely part of or influenced by Armstrongism, a system which, like communism, automatically corrupts. The sooner people realize this, the sooner the lunacy will stop.
In reviewing this for errors one final time, I realized that all of the above should be self-obvious. Sadly, apparently it is not.
BB
Dennis you are on a roll. Well thought out points all the way though.
A master piece if I may say so.
Oh yeah...I'm so sure that the Armstrong empire will be reunited and restored to its former glory - and Corky will cease to be a sarcastic unbeliever. The best feast EV-er, I'm sure...
I can't, for the life of me, understand why the splits and splinters of the empire would even WANT to reunite because if there were reasons for the splitting and splintering to start with then the reasons are still there. And, I'd bet that nobody even remembers what the reasons were.
Well, the reasons were that in times gone by, there were men who wanted to start their own version of the cult and rake in the dough.
Now, of course, they don't want to share any of the wealth to be had but they have been so greedy that they have raked in, not only all there was, but all there ever will be. With the homes and the futures of their followers mortgaged to the hilt and the money already spent and in debt for decades to come...nothing much else to do but back up and punt.
Even though they may still yet fool their followers into believing that they are in a final lap around the field before Jesus destroys 2/3 of the population of the earth and tortures the other 1/3 with plagues etc - it's too hard to convince outsiders of this. No new members means no new money and property to play around with, no new lives to ruin...
I don't know...perhaps a little jail time for fraud would be in order, because, sooner or later, these guys are going to be forced to 'take the money and run' or lose everything they have to bankruptcy.
Byker Bob said...
It's been a long time since I was involved with WCG, or a splinter. When I left, immediately following the Disappointment of 1975, and having discovered the total indefensibility of some of the "doctrines", as well as the internal corruption of the organization, I decided for the first time that if there were any solutions, it would be necessary to find them outside of the group which we'd all been led to believe was "God's True Church".
The problem is, Bob, that you have not changed your methodology for "finding". People got involved with Armstrongism because of emotional feelings, when they leave, they tend to get involved with another church for the same reason - based on the same presumptions with no evidence outside of anecdotal, emotional faith and hope. IOW, wishful thinking.
Try the scientific method - you might still make mistakes but you can't be wrong or led wrong if you follow the actual, real evidence.
So, how long did I know that evolution was true before churches would even entertain the idea? About thirty years... Yeah, and I still remember the deniers of evolution on the PT forum just a few years ago too. People who should have known better...deists, they called themselves...another idea with no evidence.
Davey's Feast looks more like Hell for lost souls, his included.
I think someone should create a rainbow flag feast sticker and put them on every car in the parking lots at various FOT sites. Or at least make them available to everyone who wants one.
Glenn Parker
Hey Cork, been there, done that. 30 years of atheism/agnosticism. Heck, I only attended WCG for 20 years. I will say that the 30 years of non-belief did far less soul damage than the 20 years of Armstrongism, but actually both left me flat. Neither one worked.
BB
Byker Bob said...
Hey Cork, been there, done that. 30 years of atheism/agnosticism. Heck, I only attended WCG for 20 years. I will say that the 30 years of non-belief did far less soul damage than the 20 years of Armstrongism, but actually both left me flat. Neither one worked.
Worked for what, Bob? A spiritual awakening or a life style or what? Anyway, I wasn't talking about atheism but of using a methodology rather than just going by emotional gut feelings and anecdotal evidence for what to accept or reject.
That said, it has nothing to do with what 'works', personally. Facts and evidence just sort of have to be taken on-board in a person's life. How one achieves satisfaction, contentment, or whatever in his life depends more on the person himself rather than facts and evidence.
As for me, atheism is just a disbelief in the supernatural. That doesn't keep me from enjoying the other 99.9% of my life. I mean, it doesn't take up any space and it doesn't cost anything. It never did keep me from doing my job or working on Saturday or Sunday and I don't have to study anything or attend any meetings. It's just like not believing in little green men. It just keeps superstition out of the way so that I can learn the things I want to learn - you know, like an anti-virus program running on my computer.
I wanted to learn all about the Christian religion and atheism didn't even keep me from doing that. I reckon I'm just one of those rare people who doesn't have a god shaped hole in his heart or have any kind of spiritual 'need' (which I think is only a mind virus too).
What worked for me was family, job, service to my country, community and just plain old living a simple life. Boring to many folks, I reckon. I may have drank too much a couple of times but I believe that was when I was a church goer. Didn't/Don't do drugs but what the doctor prescribes. Know the Bible better than any Christian that I know of. Reckon I did all I ever wanted to do - works for me.
"I will say that the 30 years of non-belief did far less soul damage than the 20 years of Armstrongism, but actually both left me flat. Neither one worked."
I have said that I quit religion because it wasn't working for me, but when I say "it wasn't working for me," what that means is, I realized that as an estimate of reality it was unworkable. It cannot possibly be an accurate description of what's really going on.
When you say, they left you "flat" and did not "worK," BB, it sounds like you mean neither one made you feel the way you wanted to feel. If the question of whether to be religious or an atheist boils down to your feelings instead of boiling down to an estimate of reality, then I guess that's your business, but I feel sorry for you man. Because that would mean using god as a crutch and church as group therapy, and it would mean you're not coping with reality very well. Reality is not determined by feelings. I could say that gravity "doesn't work for me," but gravity doesn't care how I feel about it. I have to cope with it and that's all there is to it. For example, deciding to believe that gravity doesn't exist won't solve a "weight problem." I have to change my diet and get more exercise. Randomly changing my "beliefs" about the environment to suit my tastes is a cheat. It's a terrible reason to decide to be either religious or non-religious.
"Not only is atheism not a religion, it's not even my hobby. And that's the best thing about being an atheist; it requires so little of your time." -Bill Maher
Corky, while I firmly believe that a sincerely approached personal relationship with God is supposed to work for everyone, I guess what we're acknowledging here (without getting involved in a discussion on predestination) is that one size does not appear for the present to fit all.
BB
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