(This is not angry. Hang tight, and read on.)
How many men who were in Club in the Worldwide Church of God remember the infamous Attack Speech. The Speech where podiums were hurled (really!), water was thrown, fists were pounded, high voices went low, and veins bulged.
For those who were never a part of club, this was the speech assignment where you were supposed to get up there and get MAD. I mean, BOILING MAD. RAGE!!!!!!
You had to make a "Furious" frontal attack! Don't swerve right or left - BAM! Onslaught! Begin intensely and CRESCENDO to an EXPLOSION! Make those Jowels flap! Swing those arms wide! Knock over lamps!
Go down the warpath! Denounce it! LET LOOSE, you were told to do it! Discharge volley after volley! Let that spit fly! Be RIGHTEOUSLY indignant! That's it, picture Armstrong up on that podium! See him bounce up and down on that chair! Watch that head vibrate like an off-balance washing machine! There you go! BAM! Eyes are bulging! CRESCENDO IT until it ECHOES! MAKE THOSE PEOPLE FEAR WITH THE POWER OF YOUR DEEP MANLY VOICE!!! Wait, sorry. You're not preaching at the Feast of Tabernacles. This is just club. Right.
That's it. Pulse quicken! Breath short! Face turns red! YELL! SCREAM! ATTACK! CRESCENDO! BLAMMO! WHAMMO! There goes the LECTERN! Don't pay attention to that wayward lectern. KEEP IT UP! FOCUS! PASSION! BLAST!
Here's the rest of us. Internally. If not really.
submitted by SHT
19 comments:
Just imagine that you are Mr. Raymond McNair and that you just found out that the cook used Heinz mustard in your meal instead of Grey Poupon. This should help you summon the proper degree of intense fury.
Does anyone know how many splinter groups still have the attack speech? Nowadays that speech may be outdated. Like,"Oh sit down and take an aspirin!".
And then there's the "heart to heart" speech...
I despised Spokesman Club. It was an opportunity for fellow members to assert control and to belittle others. I refused to do it. While I am sure it worked for a select few, almost all the men I know hated it with a passion, with many refusing to join it.
Attack speeches were Fake Views
It is quite obvious that Bob Thiel never completed Spokesman Club! He would have been raked over the coals for his effeminate hand waving and his inability to stick to one topic and defend it. Does Bobbie have the ability to get red-faced, pop his veins, spit, and rage? In between his silent belching and hand waving, he is an ineffective speaker.
It is quite obvious that Bob Thiel never completed Spokesman Club!
He probably did - and perhaps he was weak in gestures like I was, developing his jazz hands for an Overcome!* speech! And I think his unappreciated American Tackle Football speech was an Attack! speech.
I remember when our minister was in a rush to get graduates to put on his Sermonette list -- even graduating a guy that I failed in his Attack! speech...
*I don't think Overcome! was in the manual, but was added by our minister.
Bob Thiel loves to brag about how many "hits" his nonsense gets on the internet.
If he really wants hits, he should just "cut to the chase" and while waving his hands and blustering out his vindictive, just WET HIS PANTS ON AIR!
I think we would all watch for sure!
Translation: Become a actor.
When I gave my attack speech(100 years ago) someone apparently felt something I said was funny because he was sitting there with a sort of smirk on his face. Try giving an attack speech looking at that.
If Bob wants to have an impact on the Internet, he should stop waving his Bible and instead eat a TidePod while the camera is running. That would get him THOUSANDS more views than he gets at present!
While attending LCG, I saw one Club member use his "Attack!" speech to attack "Attack!" speeches. This is such an obvious choice that I wonder how often other Club members did the same.
You know what would have been the perfect attack speech? Going on about how everyone was being scammed by HWA! Of course he would never give another speech, or even attend services again, and be marked as well, but, oh, would it have been worth it!
I hated spokesmen club, however I joined because I thought I had to for spiritual growth and to avoid the lake of fire. A speech club is not a bad idea for personal growth but in the WCG it was used as a tool for spiritual abuse. I struggled in S.M. club because I am not a social person and it actually did me more bad then good. It actually reinforced the feeling I had that I was headed for the lake of fire because I struggled in club. I don't think I made it to the attack speech but for sure I would have failed that speech assignment.
I look back at spokesman's club as one of the few positives from WCG that has benefited me in life after leaving the church. Being a regular recipient of the most helpful evaluator was what I felt an honor. Too many men could easily criticize, but few could offer genuine insight on how to improve their speaking and presentation. I remember failing the attack speech on my first attempt, and then on my second attempt I attacked excesses in the
government. It was a relief to have the attack speech passed and completed!
I did spokesman/graduate club for 4 years. It definitely improves a persons public speaking if they take it seriously.
The heart to heart is a trap since personal information can be used as a club against the person. Either avoid or talk mush if forced to give one. Personally, I don't think it should be there. It's too dangerous.
6:34
I agree. It shouldn't be there. Its nobody's business what is going on in someone's life. It's personal. I remember someone saying something like he didn't fit with people, maybe a loner. Club members hear the speech, go blab it at Sabbath services and soon half the people who attend know the poor guy's business. Get rid of it
I was never passionate about anything that I did at Embarrassing College. It was all assignments, and I did these assignments to get a grade. It was just a robotic continuation of being raised in the church.
They were heavy on the speech element because supposedly we were being groomed for the ministry, although you were not supposed to actively want to become a minister. One of the funniest experiences I had was in second year speech, where one of the assignments was to give a sermonette. I resented even having to do this immensely, so put together a mockery of a sermonette in which I pretended to be inept by deliberately misusing or misapplying proof texts. It was an awesome performance, the object of which only I knew. You see, I got really tired of everyone telling me that because I didn't want to be a minister, I was most likely one of the nes who would end up being one.
Just because some things were assignments didn't mean that one couldn't have fun with them. You could smoke part of a cigarette during an attack speech on smoking at Ambassador College, and get away with it totally. Of course the following year, when I attacked drugs, there was no way that I was going to get loaded for my attack speech. After all, one had to use at least a modicum of common sense.
Here's an intellectual exercise - how many of the speeches could God pass?
May never have gotten past THIS IS MY LIFE and BE CRYSTAL CLEAR.
THIS MY LIFE
SPEAK WITH PURPOSE
BE CRYSTAL CLEAR
ADD COLOR
GET THE FACTS
STIR TO ACTION
A COMPLETE SPEECH
ATTACK
INSTRUCT
INSPIRE
IMPROMPTU
HEART·TO·HEART
I will turn66 next week and developing those infamous JOWLS Too bad there's no more Spokesmans club to try them out on! Boo hoo!
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