Wednesday, March 16, 2022

Prophet Roach Kicks Bob Thiel's Wimpy Butt To The Curb

Who knew that in 2022 we could add a Roach to our end times bingo card?

I received notice today from the one true prophet that replaced Herbert Armstrong at his death. No, it was not from Ron Weinland or Bob Thiel, it was from Tony Roach. A fitting name for the many self-appointed pests that plague the Churches of God with stupidity.

Tony Roach writes:

I am the prophet that took over after Armstrong's death... If you want to see the truth about Herbert W Armstrong and the WWCOG checkout my facebook page facebook.com/TonyRoach101.... or my website... revelationsofthebible.org... I'll tell you your future... The tribulations and the war of Armageddon starts Sept. 16, 2023... The "Secret Rapture (Spring Harvest of Souls)" has past 5/24/2020 - 4/16/2021... Cloaked in a veil of the corona virus like a thief in the night... Other dates in your immediate future can be seen on my facebook page and website... So kiss your ass goodbye my friend...Because it is now "Just as the days of Noah" 
 


On Roach's website he says:

I AM NOT A PREACHER... I am a Seer... Sometimes a Prophet... If I were to preach to you I would overload your mind and you would have a meltdown... But I can tell you what your future holds.... Don't believe anything I say or anyone else... Prove ALL things as recorded...

Just like Bob Thiel, Roach whines that no one listens to him, not even President Bush or Ancient Aliens!  Bob Thiel needs to up his game to match this!

I am only ONE man.. I am NO One... So when you hear NO One listened... They are talking about me... :) I am the only one that listened... And by doing so God revealed 9/11 to me among many other things... I wrote Fox News, CNN, ABC, NBC, all the news networks numerous times and gave them the exact date... Of course NO One listened... I even wrote President Bush... Of course he didn't listen... I'm No One... Although the day it happened my phone started blowing up... Everyone I had told was calling... Did it change them?... NO... Do they BELIEVE?... NO... God has allowed me to always show His people things NO One can show them... I showed you the Mark of the Beast, by God's definition.. and the Mark of God... and the 10 nations joining them mentioned in the Bible... Who else could do that?... NO ONE... I showed you who the two witnesses will be.... Who else could do that?... NO ONE... I showed you the abomination that maketh desolate... Who else could do that?... NO ONE... I've shown you the secrets of Lucifer... Who else could do that?... NO ONE... In 2010 I told you Trump would be president.... Who else could do that?... NO ONE... I told you who the UFOs are and were... Who else could do that?... NO ONE... Not even the most brilliant educated minds of Ancient Aliens... I could actually answer all their questions... I've written Giorgio Tsoukalos a few times and I'm pretty sure he never read them... Because I am NO ONE... I've shown you many things NO ONE could show you... And now I'm showing you and warning you once again and have been for 20 years of the soon to be war between the USA and Russia, China, Iran, and others as God gathers the nations as recorded.... and again NO ONE is listening...

I am NOT a preacher... I am a Seer and sometimes a Prophet but NEVER a preacher... If I were to preach to you I would just overload your mind and you would just have a meltdown...

Here is our new prophet in all of his glory, yet no one listens to him:

So you can see by my picture why No One believes me... I am NO One... I don't try to be someone I'm not... I don't try to impress anyone... I can't wear the Roman tie or get the Roman haircut that most men have today... And for a footnote I don't color nor curl my hair it just happened... And for those that don't know... Long hair is not a sin... Samson gave his hair credit for his powers not God... That was the sin... If you want to judge me... Go for it ... I could not care any less what any man thinks of me... I'm not here to please man... I'm here to please God...

Roach even sets specific dates, something wishy-washy Bob is too cowardly will not do:

Poor Bob, always a dollar short and a day late.

Click above for web site

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

UFOs? Ancient aliens?
Sounds like he's been reading the works of Scientologist L. Ron Hubbard.

Anonymous said...

I. Have. No. Words.

Jim said...

I’ve wasted time trying to figure out if hwa and others were sincere and believed what they taught, but that is not a question I have to answer. They are delusional. Hwa said God spoke to him directly and then he passed his new truth revelations to the rest of the wcg. That is delusional. His prophecies in which he invoked the name of God were specific and proven wrong again and again. This too is delusion.
He claimed these delusions while engaging in grievous sin with his daughter (this was a known accusation and not denied by hwa or his daughter and affirmed by other family members).
It’s delusional to have an ongoing sin like this and believe God is revealing great truth to you.
When I believed the things hwa taught I was deceived and also deluded.
These delusions are objectively provable while wasting time considering whether hwa was sincere (even for just periods of his life) are more subjective.
Strangely, and perhaps old news for many here, the hwa conversation seemed to remain focused on his sincerity while the delusion was obvious whether or not mixed with some sincerity.
You are under no obligation to follow or trust a delusional person.

RSK said...

He has a real problem with ellipsis.

Anonymous said...

The ACOGs are full of roaches!

Anonymous said...

One of the mysteries of the ages is why Splinterdom neglects its responsibility regarding prophets and their prophecies. Jesus stated in the Sermon on the Mount, the molten nucleus of the New Testament:

"Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?"

While Splinterdom is enthralled by prophecy, Splinterdom does not execute its responsibility regarding prophecy. They are like and overweight gourmand who disregards calories. The scripture above is a mandate to the ekklesia to pass judgement on prophets and their prophecies. Yet people claiming to be prophets enter into a free market with no barriers to entry. Someone stands up and self-credentials themselves as a prophet and then there is no way for them to lose their credentials. They seem to have a perpetual, unreviewed, unchallengeable license to operate. That is not the way Jesus sees it.

Jesus stated that prophets should be evaluated not on their internal meaning of their designer prophecies, which may be strategically arcane, but on the obvious nature of their personal lives - what fruit their lives bear. This would range from their past record of unfulfilled prophecies to how they raise their children. But it is like there is some "god" that protects false prophets from recall within Splinterdom in spite of the clear policing mandate from Christ. I guess apocalyptic Millerism wouldn't be apocalyptic Millerism if there were standards of quality. Jesus would not be out of place by one day saying to all the Splinterist congregants that were silent in the face of false prophecy, "I told you so. I told you to do something about it."

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Jim said...

I don’t know who this guy is but I am going to mark my calendar on the dates he set. I am sure he is a prophet. He and a Bawanna Bob are guys we know for sure are prophets. They are going to tell us everything we need to know. Just like Herbert all their prophecies will come true. God cannot or will not let these men be wrong.

I feel better now that I know we have real prophets giving us knowledge directly from God.
Jim-AZ

Tonto said...

I will open the nickname gambit for this obviously mentally ill and disturbed person.

How about...

"TONY THE PHONY! "

Phinnpoy said...

IMHO, Tony has been smoking too many roaches!

Anonymous said...

Bob Thiel has met his match! Let's sit back and watch as they try and outdo each other with who can tell the biggest lie.

Anonymous said...

Hah! Some dude claiming to be nobody, but otherwise acting like a megalomaniac!

I know it really burns these guys' birds to be compared to similar individuals, cos each one thinks he's real and the others are imposters. There's a long line of these Armstrong cartoon characters, and this guy just arrived at the back behind Bob Thiel and Zerubbabel.

Anonymous said...

These guys are really missing the marketing boat! There is a guy named Jack Vale who has 475 million views of his videos on youtube. He has invented a hand-held device which makes the same sounds as the classic Whoopie Cushion. He takes this device into crowded places such as Target, Walmart, and the California beaches, stands next to unsuspecting people, and uses the device to make flatulent sounds, all the while filming them.

Considering that the popularity of these videos far outstrips any attention the ACOGs have ever attracted, I was thinking that some leader of Armstrongism, possibly an emerging millennial, should purchase Jack's devices, go to Walmart, make some noise, and then when he has the victim's attention, begin orating elements of the Armstrong prophecy mold, capturing people's reactions on video and streaming them on youtube.

I'm sure we will get some prudish complaints that this type of personal evangelism might cheapen the ACOGs' commission, but honestly, how is it any more offensive than the message they are already abysmally failing at making viral?

Speech Hunter said...

I'd follow his parrot before I'd follow him.

Anonymous said...

Well said Jim.

Earl said...

Haha. Why not? There’s been parroting for almost a century now.

Phinnpoy said...

I think the whoopie box would be a great thing for a ACOG leader to have. They're a bunch of old farts any way, so why not?

Anonymous said...

Actually, Bob Thiel and Roach are mentioned in the bible. It's there in Mark 9:5 "..let us make three tabernacles, one for thee, one for Moses and one for Elias. For he wist not what to say.."
So Peter was confused during the transfiguration, and what was really in front of him was Christ, Bob and Roach.