Our favorite crackpot self-appointed prophet is back again with a little blurb in his weekly letter to his 100 Caucasians and some in Africa. In it, he talks about how Google has been vital to his so-called gospel and to the plan of salvation.
Apparently, when God was creating the foundations of the world he made a place in it for Bwana Bob to rise up in the perilous end times and for Google to be created, both at the same time. Seriously people, how else could God get this message across than by using Bwana Bob and Google! Jesus be damned, it is about Bwana Bob and Google, the two greatest gospel messengers in several millennia! this reminds me of the malarkey that the church used to say about the printing press and air flight technology. The printing press was invented so Herbert Armstrong could write books and articles and airplanes were created so Armstrong could fly to world leaders and talk about "a strong hand from someplace".Isn't the church sooooo special!
The Great Bwana writes:
We have promoted information on church history, the true Church of God, and God’s plan of salvation around the world through our Google campaign as part of the work we are doing to assist in fulfilling Matthew 24:14, Matthew 28:19-20, and Romans 11:25.
Imagine talking about a plan of salvation that does not focus on Jesus. Well, that's the message from Bwana Bob.
Of course, like any conspiracy-laden COG leader, there are conspiracies floating around meant to discredit Bwana Bob's amazing work and Google is part of the demonic process!
The Great Bwana to Africa and 100 Caucasins is also twitterpated over the number of "impressions" he has for his site.
As far as our Google campaigns go, we are doing very well. We have now reached over 523,894,002 impressions. That means computers (including ‘smart phones’) around the world have been reached over one-half billion times with parts of the good news for those who put in various search terms.
In the past twelve months, we have made 154,423,552 computer/cellphone impressions through our Google campaign, which is over 12 million per month! And, we were able to do this without increasing our spending for this, but by basically working with Google representatives to improve the reach of our campaigns.
It seems like never before in Church of God history have so few reached so many with so little resources. God has blessed the tithes and offerings we have received to give a witness to multiple millions around the world.
Like everything else from Bwana Bob, you need to take this information with a grain of salt. It sure looks impressive to see over 150 million "impressions" and to Bwana Bob, each and every one as a person who saw the gospel message he thinks he promotes. It doesn't mean they looked at it, it means it just popped up in an ad on what every device they're using. That's some gospel outreach there, Bobby! Truly astounding! Impressions usually never engage viewers, and that's what is happening to Bwana Bbo. People ignore him and rarely click through to actually read an ENTIRE article.
Here is what an impression looks like:
Impressions are the most basic, utterly mundane interaction you can have with a page. In fact, it’s hardly even an interaction. An impression is a view. When your ad loads and displays in front of a user, that is one impression.
What’s the point of impressions? Well, you can’t have clicks without impressions. Users need to see your ads before they can decide whether or not to click them.
This is typically referred to as , or Cost Per Mille, where Mille means thousand. So if you’re paying for $1.50 CPM, $1.50 will earn you 1,000 impressions on your ads. One thousand people will see your ads, and all you had to do was pay under two dollars.
Fun fact: mille is Latin for “thousand” and is the root of the word millennium.
Some advertisers will pay you for a certain number of impressions. This works the opposite way; you pull in views, and the advertiser will pay you per thousand, typically in the sub-$1 range. This is because it’s incredibly easy to get views, but it’s hard to get anything out of them. The Difference Between Website Impressions and Clicks
And more:
Page Impressions (also: impressions or page views, abbreviated as PI) is a term used in web analytics. It refers to the display or page view of an entire HTML document in a browser. Therefore PIs are also frequently called contacts. If page impressions are registered, it is generally not assigned to a specific user. A user can view multiple pages and create multiple page impressions.
Since it is not possible to make a clear statement about specific user behavior with the help of page impressions, (as it constitutes a quantitative analysis), metrics such as unique visits or visitors are preferred as the basis for traffic analyses for quality web analytics. Page Impressions
Things are not rosy with Bwana Bob and Google though. He imagines they are trying to thwart his ministry:
That said, our Google campaign has been facing difficulties as Google keeps changing its rules on ads. Google is now more and more restricting religious advertising as well as the content of such advertisements. Today, we got more emails from Google showing their biases against “Religious beliefs” in advertising.
Google also seems to think that asking a question is an “unreliable” claim and has suspended at least one of our campaigns because of this. While we have worked with Google on this before, the time may come when this door to reach people may be fully shut–before the coming prophesied famine of word in Amos 8:11-12. However, until such time, we still hope to reach multiple millions more through our Google and other campaigns.
Poor Bwana! Everyone is always picking on him! It is getting bad when even Google sees that he is spreading false teachings!
7 comments:
I know of a way in which Bob could make an incredible splash, and earn some major revenue for the funding of his prophetic messages. For years, there have been internet ads extolling the virtues of Russian brides. Bob has the resources to tap into this same humanitarian effort, only geared to matching up pretty Christian African ladies with Caucasian gentlemen who lack the time for dating due to their busy and successful lifestyles, and church activities!
Proposed name for this charity is the Zipporah Foundation. Short, sweet, and to the point, because it pretty much says it all, while providing a scriptural raison d'etre. I believe we should pick a trustworthy individual who has the background in this sort of activity to set up a Go Fund Me account for Bob so that he can walk through this wonderful open door as soon as possible. Nck certainly has the skill set for organizing it, if anyone knows where he is and how to contact him.
There are also probably many church ladies who are tired of being alone, and in need of male companionship. It only seems fair that African men should also be able to participate. Why this might just lead to a bountiful resurgence of Armstrongism! it is an idea whose time has come, and is nothing short of transformational!
The number of ads seen per day by the average consumer is:
124,243,134,987,242,142,007,826,121,127,423,132,323,225,941.
I don't think they will notice Bob's ads.
There are also probably many church ladies who are tired of being alone, and in need of male companionship.
Who can afford them? The church gets all our money. Ban tithing.
Dear Bob:
What does it mean then that BANNED has nearly 11 MILLION hits , (landings, not just impressions), and has been seen by 221 countries?
Bob you have got to get a grip on reality. You are simply not living on the same planet everyone else is. You have created, out of your very fertile imagination, an entire identity for yourself that does NOT exist in reality. You run a cult that nobody has ever heard of and nobody knows you or the cult you run. You are beginning to imagine things above the actual reality of the things imagined. This is a trait you share with your fellow false prophets/apostles in cogdom, but that does not change the fact that nobody knows who any of you are, nor have they been inclined to join your little groups. Truth, as defined by the COGs is subjective. Truth, as defined by Scripture, is Jesus and life IN HIM for the believer.
If you really were all the things you IMAGINE you are, your name would be a household familiar one. Your "church" would have millions of members. Instead you have a claim of "reaching" millions of computers with your ads?! That is a perfect example of what I am trying to say to you here. The reality does not match what you have IMAGINED in your mind and then proudly CLAIMED to your 100 members as FACT. A doctor would classify this as mental illness and treat you accordingly. Reality will never match up with the imaginings of your mind, so rather than continue down the path of a) denial or b) vainly continuing to puff yourself up to bring the two polar opposites together, how about c) just receive Jesus as your Lord and Savior? Then, you don't have to worry about this craziness and can rest in Him. You will never be what you wanted to, so stop! Regain control of your mind and mental balance and become a Christian. Then your identity is in Christ, not yourself.
Finally, as I have said many many times before, the gospel HAS ALREADY been preached to everyone, everywhere in Paul's time and he made that clear back then. Rest Bob. Rest. Jesus loves you and wants to be your Savior. That is more than enough for believers AND it matches up with reality. Your fantasies have not aligned with reality and never will. Stop pretending, admit you're a phony, apologize and Jesus will still be waiting for you...if you ever get to the other side of this nightmare created by and for yourself, He is waiting for you. Please, for the love of God, please just give this up and come to Christ. Life IN HIM is magnificent and that is because it's about HIM not us. Thank you Jesus!
I"'m not BT, Tonts, but the answer is that it means we're very effective in warning the world about Armstrongism!
Ads mean nothing. It is the click that takes you to the website. His traffic is shit.
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