Sunday, May 28, 2023

Crackpot Prophet Says It's A Double Sabbath And If You Are Bored Out Of Your Mind, Then Do This...

 

It is that time of year again when Church of God members have to deal with two Sabbaths in a row. Regular weekly sabbath and Pentecost. The Great Bwana to Africa and 100 Caucasians knows how mind-numbingly BORING his sermons are, in spite of all the chair bouncing, hand flapping, and arm waving, that his followers are bored as hell. So he says to do this:

So, you have two Sabbaths in a row and perhaps you wonder what you and/or your family should do?

Well, in addition to study, prayer, and church services, there are other things you may wish to do.

Such as?

Completing lessons of the Study the Bible Course, watching animations, and/or various quizzes and Bible games at the COGwriter website.

Ghastly days! Who in hell would want to sit down and do Bwana Bob's heretical Bible Course? Or, worse yet, watch his pathetic sad animations - the greatest gospel tool ever invented so the one true end-time prophet can spread his gospel message.

Here is a better suggestion...take your family to the park. Go to the zoo. Go hike in nature. Go to a museum and learn some actual things worth learning.

Or, if you are one of his African followers could go out to a restaurant with the resident evangelist and sit there and watch him eat while he doesn't talk to you. Fun times!

Anyway, here is what the Great Bwana wants you to do (he needs the clicks):

A very popular one is the Who Wants to be a Biblical Millionaire? quiz, also developed by Michael Thiel.

Very popular with who??????? His African followers do not do the quiz. His 100 Caucasians aren't interested. 

It is an interesting game. It has over 1,000 different questions. Think of it as an entertaining way to assist your doctrinal memory.

Doctrinal memory?? ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!! Do you mean 1,000 questions covering the crapola that Bwana Bob thinks you need to know?

You could always learn what to do on your first date. After watching this you may want to take a vow of chastity to remain celibate.

Should a first date be between two experienced pickup artists interested in fornication? Or should it be between a man and a woman who would like to actually know each other better? Does the Bible give any guidelines that Christians who date should pay attention to? If so, what are some? This brief animation shows a worldly pickup date at a bar, and an inelegant, but appropriate request for a date in a more open environment. Dating should be fun and involve communication, and not regrets. So, check out our animation on worldly vs. Christian dating.

Or discover that Jesus Christ would ONLY join the improperly named "continuing" Church of "god":

What a great time to be alive and have the opportunity to do such wonderful things in these perilous end times!

Praise be!


4 comments:

DW said...

No Bob, the burden is on YOU to teach correctly, know your theology and show people the plan of salvation through preaching the right gospel. If you have reached full saturation point, (especially given the dozens of topics you profess to cover every week) with these 100 folks, Cartoon Bob is not the answer. They get Cartoon Bob every week.

How about preaching FROM the Bible, not hopscotching all over, wrongly dividing the Word of God? How about telling them Jesus died and rose again for their salvation? How about telling them it is not about "doing" that will gain your entrance into Heaven, it is about DONE...by Jesus, in our stead and ours, guaranteed, the moment we place our full faith in Him. How about preaching Christ and Him crucified, instead of endless, mind numbingly awkward sermons about YOU? Just ONCE, I wish you would listen and learn from others. I wish these poor, suffering people would just read their Bibles on their own, without the Armstrongism paradigm hopelessly confusing them. Look what it did to you!

Anonymous said...

Dave's continued sideshow & rabbit trails. Nothing new under the sun regarding Dave.

Anonymous said...

What's the big deal about a double sabbath? Doesn't Bob Thiel realize that for the Christian, every single day is the sabbath? It's the Christian's sabbath rest!

Anonymous said...

Cult leaders want all the focus on them. How can anyone intentionally drive to hear them speak or want their cult mind control in their homes or churches or part of anything in their lives? I would rather give my money to feed dogs and cats in a homeless shelter than give cult leaders 1 cent. Animals give back love. They are not "useless eaters" and "to get rid of them" as Dave Pack says.
It is interesting that controlling globalist members in the W.H.O. World Health Organization use that same term on us human beings who disagree with their agenda of control, manipulation, and dominance calling them "useless eaters"
because it is the same demon principality. Cult leaders undue everything of value in your lives.
Wake up. STOP THE STEAL.