Oh, what a beautiful sunny day in COG-land! The insanity is shining brighter than ever.
Our brave little COG warrior, Samuel Kitchen, is now gloriously stranded in Napoli, Italy, because — surprise, surprise — God must have been too busy enjoying His delicious pizza and latte to stop Samuel from leaving both his passport and driver’s license in a taxi. How tragic.
But don’t worry, it’s all part of the divine plan, obviously. After all, Samuel was originally planning to visit the Vatican and other satanic hotspots, and we simply can’t have that. The Big Guy upstairs just couldn’t allow His faithful servant to wander into the devil’s playground like some common tourist.
You’ve got to watch the video. It’s a masterpiece. There he is, stuck in Napoli, sharing his woes, as Easter processions with those delightfully terrible marching bands play in the background, while he bitterly complains about all the amazing pizza parlors he can’t touch because of his sacred Unleavened Bread. Plus, he describes how he had to rent a bike and travel a long distance (apparently in his suit) to the US Embassy to replace his passport, only to find it closed for Easter. The suffering is just unbearable.
Honestly, there isn’t a single coherent thought in the entire rant — it’s pure verbal diarrhea. Whatever half-baked nonsense floats through his brain at any given second, it immediately comes tumbling out of his mouth.
Clearly, Samuel and Bob Thiel both graduated from the Zerubabel School for Prophets at the same time… apparently during one of their off-season years.
2 comments:
Samuel sounds like he has some kind of mental disability, not just fantasy religious ideations. On the other hand, even though Bwana Bob probably has a 50-point IQ advantage over Samuel, Samuel's ramblings are far more pleasant and personable than anything Bob has ever released. But who's going to tell Samuel that after the Days of Unleavened Bread his Italian pizza treat will almost certainly contain pork?
Losing one’s passport is a big downer. I remember in Egypt, I had crossed over from Israel where I was living, through Sinai and journeyed to Cairo and had to hand my passport over at the hotel. Said hotel was cheap and dirty but that was all I would afford lol. Very disconcerting handing over the passport. Fortunately I received passport back the next day and attempted to broad a train to Aswan. The trains and station was chaotic and we were forced out of our carriage by the mass of bodies entering, so we had to try the next night before setting off. We did it. Police checked our passports a few times but did not confiscate them. Samuel is lucky he is in Europe, once the US embassy is reopened after celebrating that pagan festival of Easter all should be honky dory lol.
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