Oh, what a beautiful sunny day in COG-land! The insanity is shining brighter than ever.
Our brave little COG warrior, Samuel Kitchen, is now gloriously stranded in Napoli, Italy, because — surprise, surprise — God must have been too busy enjoying His delicious pizza and latte to stop Samuel from leaving both his passport and driver’s license in a taxi. How tragic.
But don’t worry, it’s all part of the divine plan, obviously. After all, Samuel was originally planning to visit the Vatican and other satanic hotspots, and we simply can’t have that. The Big Guy upstairs just couldn’t allow His faithful servant to wander into the devil’s playground like some common tourist.
You’ve got to watch the video. It’s a masterpiece. There he is, stuck in Napoli, sharing his woes, as Easter processions with those delightfully terrible marching bands play in the background, while he bitterly complains about all the amazing pizza parlors he can’t touch because of his sacred Unleavened Bread. Plus, he describes how he had to rent a bike and travel a long distance (apparently in his suit) to the US Embassy to replace his passport, only to find it closed for Easter. The suffering is just unbearable.
Honestly, there isn’t a single coherent thought in the entire rant — it’s pure verbal diarrhea. Whatever half-baked nonsense floats through his brain at any given second, it immediately comes tumbling out of his mouth.
Clearly, Samuel and Bob Thiel both graduated from the Zerubabel School for Prophets at the same time… apparently during one of their off-season years.
24 comments:
Samuel sounds like he has some kind of mental disability, not just fantasy religious ideations. On the other hand, even though Bwana Bob probably has a 50-point IQ advantage over Samuel, Samuel's ramblings are far more pleasant and personable than anything Bob has ever released. But who's going to tell Samuel that after the Days of Unleavened Bread his Italian pizza treat will almost certainly contain pork?
Losing one’s passport is a big downer. I remember in Egypt, I had crossed over from Israel where I was living, through Sinai and journeyed to Cairo and had to hand my passport over at the hotel. Said hotel was cheap and dirty but that was all I would afford lol. Very disconcerting handing over the passport. Fortunately I received passport back the next day and attempted to broad a train to Aswan. The trains and station was chaotic and we were forced out of our carriage by the mass of bodies entering, so we had to try the next night before setting off. We did it. Police checked our passports a few times but did not confiscate them. Samuel is lucky he is in Europe, once the US embassy is reopened after celebrating that pagan festival of Easter all should be honky dory lol.
Sam, mother nature just hasn't given you the talents to be a church leader.
You need to look elsewhere to find your niche in life.
Look. It's been a while since we sponsored Tatum O'Neal, David Niven and of course our former senior leaders battled the Raiders of the Last Ark consortium.......Just wake me up when the Movie is Out on the exploits of this "American in Napels" Saga.....
nck
His video channel had 106 subscribers, when I checked it. He hasn't persuaded/convicted many people so far.
Probably because it’s not about that. And btw, this trip is paid by my hard work only. It isn’t a pleasure trip. It isn’t funded by the Church or by anyone else.
But I have enjoyed my time here. All problems worked out.
People will complain whether I have a good time or rough time. I didn’t say bad time because you can enjoy time in jail, hospital whatever if you have the right perspective. I never knew I’d have these opportunities to travel. It’s nice.
But also people foaming at the mouth mouths because I stand up and say the Worldwide Church of God exists, is what this is all about. You want to accuse and make a juicy story like some gossiping spinsters, self serving their own loathsome dribble. Me recognizing God’s hand in my life may see crazy to some, but that’s because they haven’t been in my shoes nor have they walked in my shoes. What a site that would be! lol but really, I’ve recognized God is bigger than me. So what’s this hub bub about me acknowledging God?
-Sam Kitchen
He's still got some catching up to do. David "bent" Ariel got arrested and deported from Israel during his attempts to foment the events from the Armstrong prophecy model.
Traveling overseas successfully requires a certain amount of knowledge and experience. It's not just something that "If Herbie could do it, so can I".
Of course! This sort of evangelism rarely racks up numbers. These dyi guys end up being bottom feeders, not realizing or remembering that in reality, HWA was a bottom feeder, although far more talented and sophisticated than they are. Altruism isn't the only rationale behind Bob Thiel's work in Africa. That is basically the only place where he is capable of a modicum of success, albeit with fake pictures and witch doctors.
What a joke! All this, in spite of the profound lessons of 1975 (sigh!)
Of those 106 subscribers, 105 are people from Banned looking for a good laugh.
Whats a dyi guy ?
Sam, you need to give up your genocidal religion. So does everyone else.
For being such a rabid atheist you are certainly dumber than hell concerning history. There is only ONE colonizing genocidal religion out there right now and it certainly IS NOT Christianity. Go to a library and educate yourself or just continue to be stupid, you seem to like that.
What are those talents to qualify as a Church leader ?
There is only ONE colonizing genocidal religion out there right now
There is only one religion with a leading adherent currently promising to "wipe out a 'whole civilization.'" Islam is a cancer that kills a society from within, but MAGA Christianity seeks to genocide its enemies from without.
You are dumber than hell if you believe he is going to wipe out the Iranian people. X (Twitter) is filled with hundreds and hundreds of Iranians who use VPN's to post illegally, knowing gthey will be killed if caught(when they have internet access) about what is going on in Iran. The Iranian people are fully behind the total destruction of the Mullahs and the Islamic Regime. Imagine seeing close to 40,000 young people, your children butchered in one 48 hour period by the regime. Or the women violently raped due to an edict from the Ayatollah that virgins are to be raped if imprisoned. Other have had their eyes shot out and bodies disfigured. American liberals are some of the dumbest people on earth when it comes to the Iranian people. Every Iranian both here in the US and in Iran will tell you they are NOT Arabs, they are NOT Muslims, they are Perisans, Caucasian, and that they HATE the current filth in charge. They film their protests and laugh when they see buildings blowup with current regime and police in them. But, you be you and continue to be an uninformed idiot. That's exactly what the Iranian people call you!
You are dumber than hell if you believe he is going to wipe out the Iranian people.
Exactly. Remember the acronym TACO: Trump Always Chickens Out
Really? You couldn't even Google it? Have a wonderful sabbath!
Read St. Paul's instructions to St.Timothy for the qualifications. Watch the more successful leaders on Christian TV to observe leadership abilities, personality traits, and intelligence.
DYI guy? I searched online and only found references to DIY, not DYI.
Sam posts lots of short meaningless videos on his channel with weird codenames made up of letters and long numbers for the titles, and then all he says is to announce which hymn to sing.
Where is his $45 million pot to buy the Ambassador Auditorium?
If Sam can so easily lose a passport, he could so easily mismanage the Auditorium and go bankrupt, surely?
Oh, the Shah certainly had a very difficult time managing the Iranian people. It would be interesting to know more about their dna. I would have to believe that there has been more than a little mixing with Arabic people.
Garner ted always bragged he'd inspired the 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' film. I forget the details, but he kept going on about how he'd had a discussion with one of the screenwriters or film executives.
He also used to say he could have written the controversial Satanic Verses book by Salman Rushty.
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