How Four Random Street Signs Convinced Grown Adults They Were on Holy Ground

Over the decades, the Church of God has been blessed with an endless parade of crackpots, each one more unhinged than the last, peddling their precious pet theories, wild speculations, and outright bald-faced lies. It’s this proud tradition of gullibility and zero discernment that has allowed modern con artists like Bob Thiel and Dave Pack to flourish, happily vacuuming up whatever few desperate, wide-eyed followers they can find. Nothing says “led by the Holy Spirit” quite like flocking to the newest liar with a website and a printing press.

Liars have always found the most fertile, well-fertilized ground in the Church of God. It’s practically their spiritual homeland. We’ve endured generations of lying false prophets who knew the exact timeline of end-time prophecy — every single time. (They were wrong, of course, but the next one will definitely be right. Just wait.)

We’ve had genuine crackpots who stood up and declared that four egrets in front of the Auditorium were about to come alive, grab the whole building, and fly it to Petra like some divinely sanctioned Uber, with a fifth egret acting as celestial navigator. And yes, some actual functioning adults left the church to follow this majestic egret-based theology. Truly, the finest minds at work.

Then there was that absolute masterpiece of biblical exegesis floating around Pasadena when I got to college: the unshakable belief that God Himself had personally branded the campus with His sacred name through — wait for it — street signs.

Green Street, Orange Grove, Del Mar, St. John

First letters? G-O-D-S.

GODS.

God’s campus. God’s church. God’s holy vending machines. Some genius actually convinced people this was divine proof. Because obviously the Creator of the Universe moonlights as a city planner in Southern California.

But here’s the real kicker — the biting truth they never want to admit: flip those letters around and it spells DOGS.

And honestly? That makes way more sense. God didn’t claim that campus — He let the dogs have it. The whole thing has been one big theological dog park for decades. A place where every stray crackpot theory could run around off-leash, hump each other’s legs, and leave little steaming piles of false prophecy wherever they pleased.

And the funniest part? That “God’s campus” belief is still limping along today as a housing development and a College-Prep private school, even though the Almighty apparently looked at the property, said “Yeah, I’m out,” and abandoned it decades ago like a bad blind date. But sure, keep clutching those street names, folks. Divine endorsement never looked so… canine.

Maybe this is a prophetic truth that will allow Samuel Kitchen to buy the Ambassador Auditorium and HWA's mansion. This is the COG after all, anything is possible.

What an absolutely stellar, rational, and spirit-led organization this has been. 

Peak 1st Century Christianity. .