Gerald Waterhouse: The Baghdad Bob of Armstrongism

Who can forget Gerald Waterhouse.  He was Armstrongisms' version of Baghdad Bob. A man who lied though his teeth while smiling at you.  Waterhouse's sermons would sometimes go on for 3-4 hours saying some of the stupidest things imaginable while the sheeple laughed and chortled.

Here is an excerpt from one of his lame-ass sermons that was posted on Yahoo recently as god inspired.  He is self-righteous, condescending, rude and ignorant in most of his comments.

Now the World has NO knowledge of why the Bible, they couldn't give you a clue. Billy Graham, Rex Humbarg, Jimmy Swaggert, they could NOT tell you WHY THIS WORD! They don't know! Do you know what this is? What the Word of God is on this earth for? The average person, if he's all protestanized, he won't at all.

Reading this below shows how incredibly stupid the guy was.  He had no real education other than sitting in Ambassador, the rest he made up.

This was put on kept closed and sealed until the day that Christ started opening, and that was the day He started preparing for His second Coming. This was not opened (slams fist down)ONE day, before He started preparing for His coming! This is a FOUNDATION on which He is preparing for His COMING! It's a CODE book! Now why would it be a "code book"? Because God doesn't want anyone except the few He calls to understand the purpose of it, the rest are as blind as a bat! As screwed up as a Platypus. (Laughs) Don't know which end is RIGHT!

Now that is SO far, now most people will think they got the concept, the first thing God gave Adam, the Eve before Eve, was the King James Translation of the Bible put out by the Gideon Foundation.(Laughter) He said, "Now I want you Adam to learn how to be a Christian, and lead your wife, I want you to learn to say 'thee, thous and thine" and act like a Christian. Adam, you know Abel, a righteous man, NEVER read one word of the Bible, he wasn't able. Did you know that? (Laughter) Enoch walked with Christ 300 YEARS and never saw one Gideon Bible or a King James translation, or a Latin Vulgate or whatever else! Or a Latin VULGAR! (Laughter) Noah did not take Bibles into the Ark. God didn't say "Noey! Build that Ark, and I want you to take 7 pairs of the CLEAN translations in.(laughter) And only one pair of those mis-translations in. Got to have a few of them, over in the world tomor.. in the world beyond the flood."

Abraham the FATHER of the Faithful, and he never saw ONE WORD of the Bible! And he's the father of the faithful! And you must come in, by way of those promises linked back to Him, through Christ, or you can't make it. If you be Christ's, THEN you are Abraham's seed and Heirs according to the promise! So Christ links you back to the promises given to ABRAHAM! And yet he never SAW a Bible! (drops Bible down) Nor did Issac or Jacob! Or nor JOSEPH! The first one to see any of the Bible,w as Moses, who wrote the first five books under inspiration. This is not Moses's word, it's not David's word, it's God's WORD given through the men!

David, a man after God's own heart, never read the old testament, all of the old testament, just part of it. Cause it wasn't available. Did you know Peter and Paul, never read all of the Bible. Can you imagine that going to be Apostles and never read all the bible, can you Imagine that! Of course it wasn't available. The only one who ever saw the entire Bible, was John the Apostle, after all of the other prophets and Apostles were dead. And he died shortly after God finished the FOUNDATION.And then He kept it CLOSED and SEALED until the time of the end! So Christ could start preparing for His coming on this!(hits Bible)

Armstrongists to this day deny that  the church ever taught were  going to Petra.  Waterhouse says so below: 

That's what it is! It's a book of identification then. So a few could identify the True God, the True Christ, the True Messenger, while the rest remain as blind as a bat! And without this as the identifying book, you can't be sure!(slams hand down) There's no WAY you could be sure! And you have to be so SURE, that you're surer than sure. Have you ever heard of the ad, "whiter than white", you got to be surer than sure! Or you will never follow Mr. Armstrong out of all countries. Now he won't be down here to lead you, but I mean, God's people all around the world must turn their back on Satan's world and become spiritually dead to it. And go down to support him in the middle east, then on down to a place of final training! And unless you know for SURE, beyond any shadow of the doubt, that God will work through NO ONE ELSE on this earth, YOU WILL STAY BEHIND! You'll reason and you will choose that one that makes it convenient, that you think that God works through in addition to, Mr. Armstrong!

So it behooves everyone to know, because God is going to put you to the TEST, very soon! And you GOT TO KNOW! God is not going to take Lukewarm people down, kinda guessing, wondering, He's going to take people who are, conquered to this foundation, so He BUILD them on it! As Christ continues to lead through Mr. Armstrong. you say well I don't think he can, oh is THAT right? You limit God? Say, "well his eyes are getting bad". I tell you, WHO MADE THE EYE? You think God is outdone by Optometrist, He doesn't understand enough about an EYE, than an optometrist? he could heal those eyes like that! Put New eyes there, if He wanted to. He could put THREE there, but he'll only put TWO. He could put FIVE there! DON'T LIMIT GOD. One time, He told Moses, I want you to go down and speak to my people, he said I can't speak, He said WHO MADE YOUR MOUTH? Well, anyway I'm sending your brother Aaron, and he be your spokesman, but He said WHO MADE
YOUR MOUTH, Moses? Don't limit God. Too many people have.

I've seen so many leave this church, because they looked at a PHYSICAL MAN. And if they say he can't do it, they jump ship! I never looked at Mr. Armstrong's physical.., Now I'm concerned about him, but that is not why I believe in him. I believe in him, because this Bible says he's the  MESSENGER, the ELIJAH, The MOSES, the ZERUBBABEL, the JOHN THE BAPTIST, the NOAH! But Spiritually! Cause Christ is fulfilling those types from heaven, by the Spirit of God through ONE MAN! That's why it becomes a book of identification! So you can be sure, once you are called to understand that message through that messenger, then that identifies the TRUE CHRIST, getting a message out from His Father's throne in heaven, through a human outlet down here, a TOOL! If you speak through a telephone to another person, you know what you speak through? An ear piece, over on the other side at an end of a line, and he hears you, and you may be half away around the world.

Now Christ is in heaven! That's so far away from this earth, you couldn't begin to measure it in light years! Now HOW does He HEAD the Church? See most people don't, they're not realistic, they just think "Aww that's just a lot of spiritual VERBAGE. Yeah Jesus, He's Head of the Church, hahaha" you know, "Herbert Armstrong he's a... hahaha," you know. They think.. They really think God is playing GAMES, so they RESPOND by GAMEPLAY! And You won't make God's Family, if you DOUBT him ONE BIT! And this is the BIG beginning test, right here.

Now HOW does Christ HEAD THE CHURCH? By the Power of the Holy Spirit. How do you make a phone call, by the power of a telephone line or a telephone transmission, or a satellite, that makes it possible for your voice to be relayed over to a person half away around the WORLD. You can believe in that can't you? Does someone call you up and you get the phone, and say, who is this, and are you SURE it's YOU? Now HOW are you reaching me? Through a tele... Who are You? well, I'm in India. I don't believe you are. You don't doubt someone like that, but when Christ works through the Holy Spirit, through Mr. Armstrong people begin to Doubt it! They put MORE confidence in a telephone system, then they do in God and HIS system! What a SHAME for anyone to be that WAY! To put
God behind a BUNCH OF MEN! And their systems, we don't doubt that, when someone, a phone rings, we don't aww I don't know if you are talking or not, I'm just not sure that's you. Oh well we just.. oh hello, it's good to hear you. But when Christ the Head of the Church works with Mr.... I doubt that... I don't believe He can! What a, NO WONDER God has to shake us up! (Chuckles) What if God were to tell you, I want you to strive and overcome so that I can make you flesh and blood. You'd say "I'm already flesh and blood" it makes the point doesn't it?

WHY did Christ set up all those physical types in the Old testament? You think Christ spent 120 years building an Ark through Noah, to save 8 Souls? And that's the ONLY purpose of it? How many of your politicians would work for 1 year for 8 people? Here was a God being working 120 and all he got was 8 souls! 8 human beings. Noah and his wife, three sons and three daughters in law. I'd say if
that's all Christ had in MIND, boy, you better go join someone that can get something done, 120 years for 8 people?(chuckle) He had a GREAT TYPE in that, a SPIRITUAL DELIVERANCE! Through a place of Spiritual Safety, through the Spiritual Flood that's coming, He's going to cast out from the mouth of Satan! And the only ones who is going to go through that, SPIRITUALLY, are those in a
place of Spiritual PROTECTION! That's what he had in mind!

Do you think He spent all that time with Moses, groomed him down in Egypt, forty years in the wilderness, then let His people Israel for forty years and He got nothing except a bunch of Carnal minded people, and you train Moses, Joshua, Caleb, Aaron and maybe Miriam, and That's about it. All those 120 YEARS? But He had a GREAT PURPOSE in THAT! You think God would of put you here if all He ever got out of you is a human being, He wouldn't of wasted the TIME! Cause He says if you return to the dust, you were tho you never existed! So God would NEVER put human life on this earth, if all he had in mind was HUMAN LIFE! He put human life on this earth to become DIVINE Life and the very family of GOD! Now Christ was NOT down here dealing with Carnal minded people and material substance for no purpose! Any more than he needed with youth, without a purpose. He calls you and me to become a Spirit Being. So all of these types were set up, to type a SPIRITUAL FULFILLMENT. And the only way you can know what he must do spiritually, is to look at the physical He set up. You know when you come into the Kingdom, you know who you will be? You'll still be you, you'll just be changed from flesh to spirit.

When you see thatChrist is fulfilling through that one man, the role of the messenger, the role of Elijah, the Role of Zerubbabel, the role of John the Baptist, the role ofNoah, then you can identify, that is from the TRUE GOD! And the True Christ who is keeping the Word of God, NOT breaking it!

Two Jesus

On the other hand Satan's ministers say that Old Testament's done away with. You know why Satan hates the Old Testament so much? Cause it has the only identifying series of types that must be fulfilled Spiritually by Christ from heaven! So if he can eliminate that you have NO BASIS, to view , to determine, the TRUE CHRIST! And therefore you can only see the one of this WORLD, the Other Jesus Paul warned against! And I read that 30, 25 years ago down here. So simple Paul said if someone comes preaching another Jesus. But people are so religious, you know they don't get it. You cannot have another unless you have at least TWO. Anyone ought to figure... so you cannot have another Jesus, unless there is at least TWO, there's a False one and the TRUE ONE! There's a false God, and the True One. The False Gospel and the TRUE Gospel! The world only knows the false God, Satan the Devil masquerading as God. And his pawned off "Jesus". Pardon me "Je-e-e-eesus". You ever notice how they can't even say a common word, Jes.. they got to, gotta put some kind of a spiritual intonation into it. Have you accepted "Je-e-e-eesus"? (Chuckles) You know, can't even talk like a human! They got to put on some kind of a faked manner about them. I was up there in the Philippines there, and Rex humbarg had his program up there and he was inviting all the audience to send christmas cards in, and on it names of all their un-saved loved ones, un-saved mates, un-saved family members, un-saved friends, relatives, outlaws, inlaws, whatever. And then he's going to put these Christmas cards on the Christmas Tree. And on Christmas, he was going to PRAY, for all of those cards on the Christmas tree. And that would be God's Christmas gift to all of these un-saved friends, relatives, and mates, when God would save them all. Now, that's about as non-christian as you can be, and yet that is look on, and they think OHHHH Rex lumbarg is such a spiritual man! Yeah but he's inspired by the wrong spirit!

See you got to determine which spirit it is. And we're told to Judge the Spirits, to see whether or not they be of God because MANY false prophets have gone out in the world, deceiving the many, He didn't say one old man would go out and deceive a few. (chuckles) I alrea...That was..I received that 30 years ago. I'd say, you better read the Bible, Mr. Armstrong could not be false, because he's one, and he says many false prophets. He didn't say, "One old man's gonna come along and hoodwink a few". And the rest are going to remain good, solid, born again, saved, pasteurized, sanctified, homogenized Christians BOUND for heaven! (laughter) The Only way that I could stand under a lot of pressure through some difficult times in this work, When they, a lot of top men were trying to get me turned against Mr. Ar... I'd go to this Bible, and keep to those basic scriptures about who the messenger is, the Elijah is, the modern day Zerubbabel, the modern day Noah, the Modern day John the Baptist! Then I always kept identifying the True Christ working through the human agent by His Spirit, in preparing for His coming, based on this WORD! And what I'm telling you, you and I and the whole group of people that go into the world tomorrow, must convince all the nations, by going out and proving to them How Christ fulfilled everything that had to do with Second Coming, just like he fulfilled EVERYTHING that had to do with His FIRST COMING! So you are going have to learn what I'm giving and a LOT MORE! You think it's going to be easy?"

I think he should have spent some more time in those West Hollywood bars and lived an honest life instead of parading around as a supposed man of god preaching nonsense.

Dave Pack: I Suffered Financially Just as HWA Did - My Kids Had To Wear Hand-me-downs!

Dave Pack, God's most miraculous man never to be conceived by immaculate conception, compares himself to Herbert Armstrong.  Davey wants you to know that he has suffered greatly at the hands of the church while he was a minister.  He bemoans the fact his kids had to wear hand-me-downs.

Oh boo hoo!  Probably 40-50% of the kids in the church had to wear hand-me-downs because  40-50% of their parents income was going out the door to fund the church. 

Probably few remember or ever knew that Mr. Armstrong died with virtually no personal possessions he could call his own, other than a handful of suits, a watch, and a few other simple belongings, including almost nothing of worth. This man’s pattern of unbelievable sacrifice over virtually an entire lifetime was evident to all who knew him. Therefore, it should come as no real surprise how few possessions he had at the end of his life. Nothing was EVER more important to Mr. Armstrong than God’s Work! Yet, his motives were continually questioned, and by those who could not possibly understand them.

But I do understand. My children also went without for years, in regard to clothing for instance, largely wearing hand-me-downs from older cousins because I was systematically underpaid by Joe Tkach all during their growing up years. Clothing needs—my children’s and their parents—is only the tip of this iceberg.

The entirety of our life savings (mine and my deceased wife’s) and virtually every extra dollar left in our budget month-to-month for years went to this Work, even to the point of taking out home equity loans (multiple times) to give more, when necessary, because our home kept appreciating in value until 2007.

FYI:  Tkach did not hate you. He knew you to be a charlatan that was destroying peoples lives and he put a stop to it.  Then you jumped ship to Global because you had no marketable skills and needed other people to fund your lifestyle. That's the Plain Truth!

More brief history. In March 1993, when I was the first pastor Joe Tkach fired and marked publicly on video (March 6 from Tampa, Florida), I had to act solely on faith. Again, I had been systematically underpaid for much of my ministry by a vindictive Joe Tkach who hated me in large part because of my relationship with Mr. Armstrong. I had no money in the bank—none—when Dean Blackwell came from Pasadena (weeping at my front door and carrying flowers) with a nearby pastor to take my car, computer and Church files. The result: my wife and I had no second car even to get groceries. We walked. Two weeks of severance pay (plus a few days of my unused vacation pay) had to last for several weeks until I could be paid by Global.

Poor Davey!  He couldn't go to Brooks Brothers and buy a $1,000.00 suit like he does now, or spend $500.00 on shoes.

Dave Pack: Rod Meredith Is A Destructive Divisive Liar

Dave has no love lost for Rod Meredith.  According to Davey, Meredith is one of the three COG leaders that he is preidicting will die this fall.  When they die all of the members in their groups will miraculously all come over to Davey's side.  Their money will come with  them and glory will return to earth as god's greatest man is worshiped and adored.

The Restored Church of God and I have repeatedly been the target of incredible false accusations. Destructive, divisive liars have repeatedly sought to destroy us. They will try again—and again—and again—to do this. You must beware of such people. While perhaps the worst, Rod Meredith is just one.