Thursday, June 13, 2013

Gerald Waterhouse: The Baghdad Bob of Armstrongism

Who can forget Gerald Waterhouse.  He was Armstrongisms' version of Baghdad Bob. A man who lied though his teeth while smiling at you.  Waterhouse's sermons would sometimes go on for 3-4 hours saying some of the stupidest things imaginable while the sheeple laughed and chortled.

Here is an excerpt from one of his lame-ass sermons that was posted on Yahoo recently as god inspired.  He is self-righteous, condescending, rude and ignorant in most of his comments.

Now the World has NO knowledge of why the Bible, they couldn't give you a clue. Billy Graham, Rex Humbarg, Jimmy Swaggert, they could NOT tell you WHY THIS WORD! They don't know! Do you know what this is? What the Word of God is on this earth for? The average person, if he's all protestanized, he won't at all.

Reading this below shows how incredibly stupid the guy was.  He had no real education other than sitting in Ambassador, the rest he made up.

This was put on kept closed and sealed until the day that Christ started opening, and that was the day He started preparing for His second Coming. This was not opened (slams fist down)ONE day, before He started preparing for His coming! This is a FOUNDATION on which He is preparing for His COMING! It's a CODE book! Now why would it be a "code book"? Because God doesn't want anyone except the few He calls to understand the purpose of it, the rest are as blind as a bat! As screwed up as a Platypus. (Laughs) Don't know which end is RIGHT!

Now that is SO far, now most people will think they got the concept, the first thing God gave Adam, the Eve before Eve, was the King James Translation of the Bible put out by the Gideon Foundation.(Laughter) He said, "Now I want you Adam to learn how to be a Christian, and lead your wife, I want you to learn to say 'thee, thous and thine" and act like a Christian. Adam, you know Abel, a righteous man, NEVER read one word of the Bible, he wasn't able. Did you know that? (Laughter) Enoch walked with Christ 300 YEARS and never saw one Gideon Bible or a King James translation, or a Latin Vulgate or whatever else! Or a Latin VULGAR! (Laughter) Noah did not take Bibles into the Ark. God didn't say "Noey! Build that Ark, and I want you to take 7 pairs of the CLEAN translations in.(laughter) And only one pair of those mis-translations in. Got to have a few of them, over in the world tomor.. in the world beyond the flood."

Abraham the FATHER of the Faithful, and he never saw ONE WORD of the Bible! And he's the father of the faithful! And you must come in, by way of those promises linked back to Him, through Christ, or you can't make it. If you be Christ's, THEN you are Abraham's seed and Heirs according to the promise! So Christ links you back to the promises given to ABRAHAM! And yet he never SAW a Bible! (drops Bible down) Nor did Issac or Jacob! Or nor JOSEPH! The first one to see any of the Bible,w as Moses, who wrote the first five books under inspiration. This is not Moses's word, it's not David's word, it's God's WORD given through the men!

David, a man after God's own heart, never read the old testament, all of the old testament, just part of it. Cause it wasn't available. Did you know Peter and Paul, never read all of the Bible. Can you imagine that going to be Apostles and never read all the bible, can you Imagine that! Of course it wasn't available. The only one who ever saw the entire Bible, was John the Apostle, after all of the other prophets and Apostles were dead. And he died shortly after God finished the FOUNDATION.And then He kept it CLOSED and SEALED until the time of the end! So Christ could start preparing for His coming on this!(hits Bible)

Armstrongists to this day deny that  the church ever taught were  going to Petra.  Waterhouse says so below: 

That's what it is! It's a book of identification then. So a few could identify the True God, the True Christ, the True Messenger, while the rest remain as blind as a bat! And without this as the identifying book, you can't be sure!(slams hand down) There's no WAY you could be sure! And you have to be so SURE, that you're surer than sure. Have you ever heard of the ad, "whiter than white", you got to be surer than sure! Or you will never follow Mr. Armstrong out of all countries. Now he won't be down here to lead you, but I mean, God's people all around the world must turn their back on Satan's world and become spiritually dead to it. And go down to support him in the middle east, then on down to a place of final training! And unless you know for SURE, beyond any shadow of the doubt, that God will work through NO ONE ELSE on this earth, YOU WILL STAY BEHIND! You'll reason and you will choose that one that makes it convenient, that you think that God works through in addition to, Mr. Armstrong!

So it behooves everyone to know, because God is going to put you to the TEST, very soon! And you GOT TO KNOW! God is not going to take Lukewarm people down, kinda guessing, wondering, He's going to take people who are, conquered to this foundation, so He BUILD them on it! As Christ continues to lead through Mr. Armstrong. you say well I don't think he can, oh is THAT right? You limit God? Say, "well his eyes are getting bad". I tell you, WHO MADE THE EYE? You think God is outdone by Optometrist, He doesn't understand enough about an EYE, than an optometrist? he could heal those eyes like that! Put New eyes there, if He wanted to. He could put THREE there, but he'll only put TWO. He could put FIVE there! DON'T LIMIT GOD. One time, He told Moses, I want you to go down and speak to my people, he said I can't speak, He said WHO MADE YOUR MOUTH? Well, anyway I'm sending your brother Aaron, and he be your spokesman, but He said WHO MADE
YOUR MOUTH, Moses? Don't limit God. Too many people have.

I've seen so many leave this church, because they looked at a PHYSICAL MAN. And if they say he can't do it, they jump ship! I never looked at Mr. Armstrong's physical.., Now I'm concerned about him, but that is not why I believe in him. I believe in him, because this Bible says he's the  MESSENGER, the ELIJAH, The MOSES, the ZERUBBABEL, the JOHN THE BAPTIST, the NOAH! But Spiritually! Cause Christ is fulfilling those types from heaven, by the Spirit of God through ONE MAN! That's why it becomes a book of identification! So you can be sure, once you are called to understand that message through that messenger, then that identifies the TRUE CHRIST, getting a message out from His Father's throne in heaven, through a human outlet down here, a TOOL! If you speak through a telephone to another person, you know what you speak through? An ear piece, over on the other side at an end of a line, and he hears you, and you may be half away around the world.

Now Christ is in heaven! That's so far away from this earth, you couldn't begin to measure it in light years! Now HOW does He HEAD the Church? See most people don't, they're not realistic, they just think "Aww that's just a lot of spiritual VERBAGE. Yeah Jesus, He's Head of the Church, hahaha" you know, "Herbert Armstrong he's a... hahaha," you know. They think.. They really think God is playing GAMES, so they RESPOND by GAMEPLAY! And You won't make God's Family, if you DOUBT him ONE BIT! And this is the BIG beginning test, right here.

Now HOW does Christ HEAD THE CHURCH? By the Power of the Holy Spirit. How do you make a phone call, by the power of a telephone line or a telephone transmission, or a satellite, that makes it possible for your voice to be relayed over to a person half away around the WORLD. You can believe in that can't you? Does someone call you up and you get the phone, and say, who is this, and are you SURE it's YOU? Now HOW are you reaching me? Through a tele... Who are You? well, I'm in India. I don't believe you are. You don't doubt someone like that, but when Christ works through the Holy Spirit, through Mr. Armstrong people begin to Doubt it! They put MORE confidence in a telephone system, then they do in God and HIS system! What a SHAME for anyone to be that WAY! To put
God behind a BUNCH OF MEN! And their systems, we don't doubt that, when someone, a phone rings, we don't aww I don't know if you are talking or not, I'm just not sure that's you. Oh well we just.. oh hello, it's good to hear you. But when Christ the Head of the Church works with Mr.... I doubt that... I don't believe He can! What a, NO WONDER God has to shake us up! (Chuckles) What if God were to tell you, I want you to strive and overcome so that I can make you flesh and blood. You'd say "I'm already flesh and blood" it makes the point doesn't it?

WHY did Christ set up all those physical types in the Old testament? You think Christ spent 120 years building an Ark through Noah, to save 8 Souls? And that's the ONLY purpose of it? How many of your politicians would work for 1 year for 8 people? Here was a God being working 120 and all he got was 8 souls! 8 human beings. Noah and his wife, three sons and three daughters in law. I'd say if
that's all Christ had in MIND, boy, you better go join someone that can get something done, 120 years for 8 people?(chuckle) He had a GREAT TYPE in that, a SPIRITUAL DELIVERANCE! Through a place of Spiritual Safety, through the Spiritual Flood that's coming, He's going to cast out from the mouth of Satan! And the only ones who is going to go through that, SPIRITUALLY, are those in a
place of Spiritual PROTECTION! That's what he had in mind!

Do you think He spent all that time with Moses, groomed him down in Egypt, forty years in the wilderness, then let His people Israel for forty years and He got nothing except a bunch of Carnal minded people, and you train Moses, Joshua, Caleb, Aaron and maybe Miriam, and That's about it. All those 120 YEARS? But He had a GREAT PURPOSE in THAT! You think God would of put you here if all He ever got out of you is a human being, He wouldn't of wasted the TIME! Cause He says if you return to the dust, you were tho you never existed! So God would NEVER put human life on this earth, if all he had in mind was HUMAN LIFE! He put human life on this earth to become DIVINE Life and the very family of GOD! Now Christ was NOT down here dealing with Carnal minded people and material substance for no purpose! Any more than he needed with youth, without a purpose. He calls you and me to become a Spirit Being. So all of these types were set up, to type a SPIRITUAL FULFILLMENT. And the only way you can know what he must do spiritually, is to look at the physical He set up. You know when you come into the Kingdom, you know who you will be? You'll still be you, you'll just be changed from flesh to spirit.

When you see thatChrist is fulfilling through that one man, the role of the messenger, the role of Elijah, the Role of Zerubbabel, the role of John the Baptist, the role ofNoah, then you can identify, that is from the TRUE GOD! And the True Christ who is keeping the Word of God, NOT breaking it!

Two Jesus

On the other hand Satan's ministers say that Old Testament's done away with. You know why Satan hates the Old Testament so much? Cause it has the only identifying series of types that must be fulfilled Spiritually by Christ from heaven! So if he can eliminate that you have NO BASIS, to view , to determine, the TRUE CHRIST! And therefore you can only see the one of this WORLD, the Other Jesus Paul warned against! And I read that 30, 25 years ago down here. So simple Paul said if someone comes preaching another Jesus. But people are so religious, you know they don't get it. You cannot have another unless you have at least TWO. Anyone ought to figure... so you cannot have another Jesus, unless there is at least TWO, there's a False one and the TRUE ONE! There's a false God, and the True One. The False Gospel and the TRUE Gospel! The world only knows the false God, Satan the Devil masquerading as God. And his pawned off "Jesus". Pardon me "Je-e-e-eesus". You ever notice how they can't even say a common word, Jes.. they got to, gotta put some kind of a spiritual intonation into it. Have you accepted "Je-e-e-eesus"? (Chuckles) You know, can't even talk like a human! They got to put on some kind of a faked manner about them. I was up there in the Philippines there, and Rex humbarg had his program up there and he was inviting all the audience to send christmas cards in, and on it names of all their un-saved loved ones, un-saved mates, un-saved family members, un-saved friends, relatives, outlaws, inlaws, whatever. And then he's going to put these Christmas cards on the Christmas Tree. And on Christmas, he was going to PRAY, for all of those cards on the Christmas tree. And that would be God's Christmas gift to all of these un-saved friends, relatives, and mates, when God would save them all. Now, that's about as non-christian as you can be, and yet that is look on, and they think OHHHH Rex lumbarg is such a spiritual man! Yeah but he's inspired by the wrong spirit!

See you got to determine which spirit it is. And we're told to Judge the Spirits, to see whether or not they be of God because MANY false prophets have gone out in the world, deceiving the many, He didn't say one old man would go out and deceive a few. (chuckles) I alrea...That was..I received that 30 years ago. I'd say, you better read the Bible, Mr. Armstrong could not be false, because he's one, and he says many false prophets. He didn't say, "One old man's gonna come along and hoodwink a few". And the rest are going to remain good, solid, born again, saved, pasteurized, sanctified, homogenized Christians BOUND for heaven! (laughter) The Only way that I could stand under a lot of pressure through some difficult times in this work, When they, a lot of top men were trying to get me turned against Mr. Ar... I'd go to this Bible, and keep to those basic scriptures about who the messenger is, the Elijah is, the modern day Zerubbabel, the modern day Noah, the Modern day John the Baptist! Then I always kept identifying the True Christ working through the human agent by His Spirit, in preparing for His coming, based on this WORD! And what I'm telling you, you and I and the whole group of people that go into the world tomorrow, must convince all the nations, by going out and proving to them How Christ fulfilled everything that had to do with Second Coming, just like he fulfilled EVERYTHING that had to do with His FIRST COMING! So you are going have to learn what I'm giving and a LOT MORE! You think it's going to be easy?"

I think he should have spent some more time in those West Hollywood bars and lived an honest life instead of parading around as a supposed man of god preaching nonsense.


Byker Bob said...

This is part of the heritage of incoherence which some of the latter day unpolished ones such as Bob Thiel draw upon as their example. I have very little tolerance for such rants and could only read about 2/3 of this garbage before throwing my hands up in despair. That we could ever have considered such drivel to be enlightened and enlightening boggles the mind.


Lake of Fire Church of God said...

NO2HWA said, “Waterhouse's sermons would sometimes go on for 3-4 hours saying some of the stupidest things imaginable while the sheeple laughed and chortled”.

MY COMMENT – With all due respect, in the Baltimore, Md.- Washington, D.C. WCG church circuit, Mr. Waterhouse’s sermons ALWAYS went on for 3-4 hours. Not sometimes, ALWAYS!


Lake of Fire Church of God said...

The following paragraph is an excerpt from my unpublished essay on my WCG experience and quotes are taken from my handwritten Sabbath Services notes. I have only shared my complete essay with Dennis Diehl recently:

In December, 1968, I received my first doses of traveling evangelist Gerald Waterhouse. At a bible study on December 4, I learned World Tomorrow prophecies such as “Job will straighten out the cities” and “Noah will take the job of solving the race problems”. On December 7 (a date that shall live in Worldwide Church infamy), we had a combined church service with other churches at a dark and dingy old rental hall on Eastern Avenue in Baltimore. Reading my sermon notes from this occasion over 40 years later reveal a manipulative message that I now realize was intended to extend control over the peoples’ minds. Waterhouse preaches “God’s people are different from society. The only way you can be out of a society is for God to take you out….God has to take us to a place (of safety) to mold us into the right society”. Waterhouse later preaches, “There will be no rebels in the World Tomorrow. By the end of the work, all the people who stayed loyal will be taken to a place of safety”.


Later in my essay I write:

In my Sabbath Service notes, I found notes from Gerald Waterhouse sermons (4 hours long, no doubt) and other ministers’ sermons detailing now useless and meaningless dribble. For example, did you know “Waterhouse” means: “go Water the House of God and give it nourishment”? Nice words to re-enforce the Church’s grip on peoples’ lives and wallets, but completely useless words 35 plus years later.


Anonymous said...

In that same Gerald Waterhouse transcript on that Yahoo site one may also read this:

" and I and the whole group of people that go into the world tomorrow, must convince all the nations, by going out and proving to them How Christ fulfilled
everything that had to do with Second Coming, just like he fulfilled EVERYTHING
that had to do with His FIRST COMING!

So you are going have to learn what I'm giving and a LOT MORE! You think it's going to be easy?"..."

I used to have a lot of respect for GW; however, now I realize he was just providing a lot of entertainment. He may have been very sincere, but he lied a lot. He was "puffed up" and so much revolved around SELF when he spoke.

In the above, we must convince?

"...must convince all the nations, by going out and proving to them How Christ fulfilled
everything that had to do with Second Coming..."

Ridiculous! Who has been convinced? And where might a lie be in those words?

Take that "second coming" for instance. So many are fulfilling Christ's words in the following way:

Matthew 15:13 But he answered and said, Every plant, which my heavenly Father hath not planted, shall be rooted up.
14 Let them alone: they be blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.

Christ already had a second coming! We know Christ fulfilled a first coming.

If GW wasn't so blind he would have been speaking perhaps about a 3rd, 4th, 5th coming?

When was a second coming? GW, and all those who still swallow his words hook, line and stinker don't believe the following words of Jesus Christ:

John 20:17 Jesus saith unto her, Touch me not; for I am not yet ascended to my Father: but go to my brethren, and say unto them, I ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and your God."

Christ did fulfill what the Wave Sheaf of Leviticus 23 was all about. He did ascend to His Father, was accepted by the Father; however after doing so He returned to earth. After Christ's death and resurrection He did do all of that, but didn't stay with His Father. By returning to earth it was a second coming. A second coming is history.

Now GW, sincere or not, was calling Christ a liar and so many today still believe that lie.

Anyway, a bottom line for me is that GW provided us with a lot of entertainment............and that entertainment, to one degree or another, continues to be displayed in virtually all who continue to have "faith" that Gerald Waterhouse knew what he was talking about. It's about time he was exposed for what he was...perhaps very sincere, but still a misguided entertainer who pointed fingers at others, but was guilty of what he was accusing others of. The xcogs' leaders today in their blindness continue to walk in GW's footsteps...and the people continue to follow too...

And life goes on...


Anonymous said...

A greater waste of human speech and ideas that lead to nowhere there never was than GW. He lived on autopilot and never thought outside his very small mind. Sad actually


Anonymous said...

I often wonder why some of these characters were kept on the payroll of the WCG for so long. David Jon Hill, was a classmate of GTA and perhaps it was simply friendship; Floyd Lochner probably knew to many secrets about HWA and GTA so he may have been kept on the payroll with seemingly little to do to keep him quiet. Gerald Waterhouse and others? Does anyone have any ideas? Certainly they weren't retained for their skills.

Assistant Deacon said...

Most speeches and sermons that don't use scripts tend to sound startlingly unfocused when transcribed later. We don't speak in complete sentences as much as we think we do.

That said, Waterhouse was beyond the pale, and this excerpt is a perfect example of it. What a bunch of incoherent rubbish. The man loved to hear himself talk, nothing more. He loved his reputation for giving long messages. He loved that people anticipated his appearances as if they were some noteworthy event. He loved being thought of as a traveling evangelist, in the tradition of the New Testament apostles, going from city to city to preach and teach. He loved being somebody, and he played it to the hilt.

BB is right, that we could ever have considered such drivel to be enlightened and enlightening boggles the mind.

As I write this, I just came from a breakfast meeting at a local restaurant. While it was going on, an elderly couple sat down near us, and when their food arrived I noticed that they briefly bowed their heads and asked a blessing -- so quietly we couldn't even hear them. We used to scoff at such things in the COG; but I'm sure more sincere and humble words were uttered in that 15 seconds than we ever heard out of old Gerald's mouth.

This is the kind of thing that many in the pro-HWA crowd like to sweep under the rug today, saying things have changed and that their particular group is more understanding, open-minded, and/or inclusive. But Gerald Waterhouse is as much a poster boy for the HWA movement as anyone, and he stands out as an example of how misguided the whole system was, and still is.

Steve Kisack said...

In my Sabbath Service notes, I found notes completely useless words 35 plus years later.


MY COMMENT: Good grief! You still have your sabbath sermon notes? Man, you need to get a life!

Steve Kisack said...

John 20:17 Jesus saith unto her, Touch me not; for I am not yet ascended to my Father: but go to my brethren, and say unto them, I ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and your God."

Christ did fulfill what the Wave Sheaf of Leviticus 23 was all about. He did ascend to His Father, was accepted by the Father; however after doing so He returned to earth.


MY COMMENT: Wrong! False doctrine. Who taught you this? Jesus only went up once. Use the scriptures, not eisegesis.

Douglas Becker said...

It was all part of the carnival to entertain WCG members to keep them hyped and in the fold by telling them nonsense they wanted to hear in a colorful manner.

Science has found that there is very little benefit to snake oil and it's not even made from snakes.

Anonymous said...

It truly boggles the mind that some people believe that the Bible is "The Word of God"

Religiously speaking, that idea is indoctrinative craziness at it's worst.

Thankfully, we know that it is no such thing!

Head Usher said...

"Waterhouse's sermons would sometimes go on for 3-4 hours saying some of the stupidest things imaginable while the sheeple laughed and chortled."


As for Petra, I'm just going now, and I'll see you guys when god gives you the "signal." That way, I'll make it, even if god doesn't want me there. He'll have no choice. Thanks GW!

Joe Moeller said...

Once Upon A Time...

Im sitting in services at the FOT in Tucson, AZ in the mid 70s. It was in a sports arena, one that could host a hockey game or basketball game, and the attendance at the Feast was about 8000.

Gerald Waterhouse was the speaker one day.

Yes, he want on forever!

Behind him , way up on the wall was one of those professional scoreboards for sports. There are lights that come on for each quarter, which are green, and there is a red light that can turn on for a spot called "OT" , which means "Overtime".

The scoreboard was completely shut off, until at about the three hour mark for Waterhouse, suddenly the red "Overtime" light came on the scoreboard!

Everyone started to laugh, and point and make a bit of a fuss! Waterhouse, noticing that the crowd was distracted from his diatribe, asked the crowd what was going on? Everyone pointed to the scoreboard above and behind him with the distinctive red glowing "overtime" light.

Waterhouse got mad! Real Mad! He turned back around and told the audience ..."Who ever is responsible for that overtime light better shut it off right now, or YOU WILL BE DISFELLOWSHIPPED!"

In that exact instant, no more than two seconds after that was said, the light was off! It was so fast , that this too made the audience laugh out loud.

My hope that God Blessed the man who turned on that OT light and added some comic relief to a dragged out marathon session!

Joe Moeller
Cody, WY

Joe Moeller said...

From the "Truth is stranger than fiction department"...

I once heard Gerald Waterhouse say (right after Joe Tkach Sr. became the new "Pastor General") during a sermon that ...

"When we were back in Chicago , back in the day, we had one wicked softball team. One year Joe Tkach hit 29 home runs for us, while playing first base. And BRETHREN, if that doesnt qualify you for Pastor General, I dont know what does! "

Honestly, Im not making it up!

Waterhouse then went on to describe Tkach shooting down kamikazees as a gunner in WWII aboard ship. It has subsequently been discovered , and reliably reported, that Tkach's ship was a weather ship that was stationed up near Alaska, and that it never saw battle action.

Tkach was more than happy though to let Waterhouse perpetuate many myths about his past, including one about a "wildcat strike" at Hupp Aviation on behalf of Tkach's Sabbath observance and being fired over it, and one about Tkach being the "founder" of many congregations. Again, all myth, with no historical or antidotal evidence.

Would love to have Jamie and Adam from MYTHBUSTERS do a series of shows on the historical and current COG.

Joe Moeller
Cody, WY

Assistant Deacon said...

That was a classic in Tucson, Joe.

If it had been me running that scoreboard, I'd have just buzzed the horn and been done with it.


It SO would have been worth it.

Anonymous said...

Great stories! I'm glad you can look back and laugh at it all now.

Anonymous said...

GW said "Now Christ is in heaven! That's so far away from this earth, you couldn't begin to measure it in light years! "

Wow.that IS far. Can't even be measured in light years. We should then change the scripture to "when the Son of Man comes, will he even find the earth."

Byker Bob said...

I'm just so glad that at my current church we get to hear scintilllating guest speakers like Jim Caviezel, Kurt Warner and Nick Vujicic. Waterhouse was the Timothy Leary of Armstrongism. Come to think of it, Leary made more sense!


Anonymous said...

GW was before my time...I have only heard stories of his marathon sermons from the old timers....some said they were powerful, and some said he was full of crap.

I never knew any of the substance of his sermons until reading this.....and if that is a true representation of his preaching, I can say I'm with the latter group, he was full of crap.

actually, I doubt that I'd sit thru a 4hr sermon matter who was preaching.....dragging it out that long can only be for the glorification of the speaker.

besides, it's not heathy to sit for that length of time....anyone ever hear of DVT?

RSK said...

"I once heard Gerald Waterhouse say (right after Joe Tkach Sr. became the new "Pastor General") during a sermon that ..."

He can fly in all directions? He can teleport? He has x-ray vision?

Wait, that was Kim il-Sung.