Remembering Spokesmen Club: The Attack Speech

(This is not angry. Hang tight, and read on.) 

How many men who were in Club in the Worldwide Church of God remember the infamous Attack Speech. The Speech where podiums were hurled (really!), water was thrown, fists were pounded, high voices went low, and veins bulged. 

For those who were never a part of club, this was the speech assignment where you were supposed to get up there and get MAD. I mean, BOILING MAD. RAGE!!!!!!

You had to make a "Furious" frontal attack! Don't swerve right or left - BAM! Onslaught! Begin intensely and CRESCENDO to an EXPLOSION! Make those Jowels flap! Swing those arms wide! Knock over lamps! 

Go down the warpath! Denounce it! LET LOOSE, you were told to do it! Discharge volley after volley! Let that spit fly! Be RIGHTEOUSLY indignant! That's it, picture Armstrong up on that podium! See him bounce up and down on that chair! Watch that head vibrate like an off-balance washing machine! There you go! BAM! Eyes are bulging! CRESCENDO IT until it ECHOES! MAKE THOSE PEOPLE FEAR WITH THE POWER OF YOUR DEEP MANLY VOICE!!! Wait, sorry. You're not preaching at the Feast of Tabernacles. This is just club. Right. 

That's it. Pulse quicken! Breath short! Face turns red! YELL! SCREAM!  ATTACK! CRESCENDO! BLAMMO! WHAMMO! There goes the LECTERN! Don't pay attention to that wayward lectern. KEEP IT UP! FOCUS! PASSION! BLAST! 

Here's the rest of us. Internally. If not really. 

submitted by SHT

Gerald Flurry: Biblical Abraham Founded Salzburg Austria

Just when you think the craziness of the Church of God could not get any worse, along comes Philadelphia Church of God's Gerald Flurry and Ryan Malone to complete the picture.

Did you know that Abraham founded the city of Salzburg in Austria?  He either stopped off there on his way to Ireland where he dropped off the Ark of the Covenant or when he was returning home to Palestine.   Abraham was also a musical genius who designed the musical patterns used in Austria to this day.  Abraham had the foresight to know that the Von Trapp Family singers would eventually make the city famous far more famous than he ever would.

Dave Pack Loses Jeff Ambrose, His 2nd In Command

Dave Pack: The Shoe of the Unconverted

Who could have ever imagined that laceless men's shoes would be banned by a Church of God leader?  Oh wait, they have banned so many other things, so why not!

I remember decades ago that penny loafers were considered the shoe of choice for gay men, at least according to some COG ministers.  According to these ministers, putting a penny in the loafer and not wearing socks with the shoes was a signal to other men that the person was looking for sex.

David C Pack, the leader of the most superfantabulous Church of God to ever exist has supposedly banned his "men" from wearing loafers.  

God expects a properly dressed man to have laces in his shoes and tied in a proper bow.

An LCG Member Comments on Life in Church

An LCG member wrote the following in the previous posting on "We Are Not Qualified to Counsel in Some Areas of Sex and Marriage."  It deserves a separate posting for its truthfulness.

Anonymous said...

@ 3:35 PM...

There are several people posting to this site who either:

• Sat in one of RCM's Ambassador College classes
• Worked under him while he was WCG's director of the ministry
• Accepted a paycheck from him after he started the Global Church of God
• Went to youth camps with his children
• Ate dinner as a guest in his home
• Had access to his LCG Masterfile (member/coworker/subscriber database)
• Sat in the congregation and heard him speak so disgustingly that mothers left the room with their children.
• Sat in his office after being "counseled" by the lying Rod McNair, and heard him say horrible things
• Read his court depositions in which he slandered some brethren and denied knowledge of matters that he clearly had knowledge of.

Yes, I am sure that some people who post here are exaggerating their experiences because they are still badly hurt by what happened, and they cannot yet look back coldly and rationally at what they experienced with Rod Meredith. Yes, it is obvious that people sometimes speculate stupidly or tell outright lies. However, if you want to defend LCG, you would be better off defending Gerald Weston or Doug Winnail or other LCG leaders who haven't revealed their flawed character to so many people over so many years. 

As for me? I spent my first few LCG years aware that RCM wasn't perfect, but sure that most of the stories about him must be lies. Then, as my family got to know him better, I started seeing more things that made me question, but for more years I put those questions out of my mind. Eventually, thank God, I could not deny that RCM simply did not meet the Bible standard for a church leader, which meant that I was under no obligation to support him as the leader of LCG. 

As for you? Maybe you are an insider who already has seen much and already has some private doubts, but who feels an obligation to defend LCG even against your conscience. If so, I hope you change before your conscience is seared in defending evil. Or maybe you are an outsider, as I was for a while, sincerely believing that RCM was God's anointed and sure that the stories about him were falsehoods told by bitter ex-members. If so, you will be disappointed eventually, so I hope the disappointment comes soon and does not hurt you too badly.

Whichever may be your situation, ask yourself honestly: Have you seen provable evidence that LCG ministers have any special God-given aptitude for counseling? I have seen marriages ruined that were salvageable. I have seen parent/child relationships poisoned. I have seen careers derailed by stupid ministerial counsel. The people who flourish in LCG are the ones who ignore ministerial counsel until they are somewhat successful and wealthy, at which point the ministry shifts from abuse to flattery as their preferred method of control. 

October 28, 2018 at 5:24 PM