The SS Guards at Philadelphia Church of God have laid down the law for those dumb enough to attend one of their 'feast" sites.  Mark Nash tells PCG members how they will be behaving.

You unclean  women had better make sure that your bathing suits dare not show even the slightest bit of cleavage!

Swimsuit Dress Code

One-piece swimsuits are the standard. The cut should not run too high up the thigh. A safe guideline would be for it to approximately follow the natural crease in the groin. Also, be sure it completely covers the buttocks in the back. Tankinis are unacceptable unless the two pieces are sewn or tacked together so that they don’t come apart and expose the midsection. Swimsuits can be worn with skirts or shorts over them, but this is not required of our ladies. Lastly, as with shirts, no cleavage should be exposed.

Pregnant Women

Expecting mothers should use wisdom when making plans to attend the Feast of Tabernacles. There are certain “heightened risks” to your baby involved with travel. Many airlines post restrictions or advice on their websites that you can review to help make a more informed decision. You might also consult with your caregiver for answers to specific questions you might have. Also, if you have questions or concerns, we highly recommend you counsel with your local minister. As a basic rule, the Church discourages any pregnant woman from attending the Feast if she will be four weeks or less from her due date by the end of the Feast of Tabernacles. As Mr. Armstrong said in a letter to the Church back in 1962, “Don’t risk miscarriage of a precious life! Remember, God does not lay the same stress on attendance of women as He does men. USE WISDOM!”

Women are meant to stay at home and be baby machines.  Only real "converted" men are require dot go to Jerusalem.

Caring for Sick Children

Please use wisdom and be considerate of others in health-related matters as you make plans to attend the Feast. The following is an excerpt from a letter by Herbert W. Armstrong, dated Sept. 14, 1962: “Many members have been inexcusably careless and inconsiderate by bringing sick children to the festivals—and also to local Church services on the Sabbaths. Frequently children are brought with whooping cough, measles, mumps, flu, chicken pox and other contagious diseases. Other members’ children have been exposed and come down with these diseases because of this. This must stop!!! If your child has even been exposed within two weeks before coming, don’t bring him. If your child is sick, call upon God through one of His ministers for healing—or write to headquarters for an anointed cloth. But do not, under any circumstances, bring such a child until you can actually see that he has been completely healed. When anointed, have faith—believe—but if God does give you a test of faith, do not bring the child on the strength of that faith. Let him be healed on the strength of your faith, but do not bring him to any Church meeting or festival until every physical symptom is gone and the healing is complete. Moses expelled those with communicable diseases from the camp of Israel. We shall have to do likewise, in fairness to other children. I am sincerely sorry it is necessary, but some few seem to want to reason their way around a Church order like this, and disobey, on the way they reason it out. Any who are in that way inconsiderate of others will have to be swiftly expelled. If your child is taken with such a disease while at the Feast, call a minister at once, and ask him not only for anointing, but whether the child must be isolated or taken home.”

So what happens if you are weak in faith?  Your child will continue to suffer?  Your little child has to suffer because you failed to recognize that Six Pack is an agent of God and therefore your child was not healed in order to teach you a lesson?

Name Badges

Name badges will be required for everyone who is 18 (and out of high school) and older who will be attending Feast of Tabernacles services in North America. These pre-printed name badges can be obtained at the information table prior to opening night services on Wednesday, October 12, from 4 to 7 p.m. Please plan to arrive early so that you have plenty of time to get your name badge before the business office closes at 7 p.m. Everyone is expected to wear his or her badge; please cooperate and wear yours. If you are told to go get your badge, do not argue or make excuses. The security or ushering personnel are simply following rules made for the benefit of the brethren and the Church, and so should we all. Many have commented on how they appreciate the name badges. They help remind us of the names of the brethren. Please wear your name badge to services, and if you happen to misplace yours, the business office at each site will make a replacement for you. Keeping your badge in your briefcase or purse outside services will help you to keep track of it and prevent you from misplacing or losing it.

Counsel

At the Feast, you will come into contact with the ministry. But remember, God’s Feast is not a time to “shop around” for other ministers’ counsel. Counseling is provided at each site to resolve issues that come up during the Feast. It is not provided to handle problems that can wait until you speak with your local minister at home, nor to get a “second opinion” on something you have already counseled about. When there is a need, please seek the minister assigned to counseling; that is why he is there. Just be sure it is not something you can wait on to counsel directly with your own minister about when you return home.

Sieg heil mein fuhrer

First It Was New Moons, Then Hats For Women, Now it's....

...shofars!  When you aren't new mooning, or praying in your prayer hats, you can be tooting your shofar for the Feast of Trumpets!

Apsotle Malm says:

ANNOUNCEMENTS: The Feast of Trumpets is coming!  How many of you have ever kept this Feast with the actual sounding of the Shofar?  There is no excuse not to obey the commandments and observe this Feast as God has commanded! With Shofar, Shoutings and Rejoicings!

But, no hand holding.......

Jeff Patton (CGI) has an article up about the "rich vs the poor."  He says:

During those 60 seconds of human contact between two strangers, your typical rich person reveals his class affiliation through consistent displays of social behaviours that are lacking in empathy, social engagement, generosity, and sensitivity. In comparison, your typical member of the lower classes instinctively treats others with far more empathy, altruism, and sensitivity, because a person who is NOT wealthy has learned that he or she needs other human beings to survive and prosper. Lower class people learn early in life that they have to ask for help when they need it and to offer it to others in return. In contrast, the wealthy generally feel entitled to 'focus on the self', and they believe that they’ve earned their own opportunities without the help of others.

The problem with many rich people is that they possess too many things and all this stuff begins to mess with their heads! Things have a perverse way of subtly taking hold of and possessing the possessor. Consequently spiritual attitudes like altruism, self-sacrifice, and doing for one’s neighbour as one would have done for oneself—just end up seeming to cost too much for too many of the wealthy.

 I think this is perfect description of COG leadership in many of the various COG's.  this includes Meredith, Flurry, Hulme, UCG and GCI.  If you substitute the word "rich" above with "evangelists" you have a perfect description of a typical splinter cult leader.

Meredith, Herbert Armstrong,Flurry, Hulme, Pack all lack/lacked empathy, generosity, and sensitivity towards the lower class membership.  The lower class members are just dumb money making machines there to support and maintain the lifestyles of the leadership.

Have you ever carried on a conversation with any of these cult leaders?  They rarely look you in the eye for long periods of time, which an empathetic listener will do.  They are constantly glancing around looking for someone more important to seek out. 

They surround themselves with a small cadre of butt kissers who cling to every word and action.  their social circle only include the leading ministry or those ordained.  Few ever venture into the lower class homes unless it is to deliver a warning or stiff judgments.  They have a sense of "entitlement" and that others should stand in awe of their magnificence.

Patton's blog is here: The World Tomorrow (how original!)

The Apostle Says: Tribulation Could Start In Late 2012

Self appointed Apostle and prophecy nut Apostle Malm is spitting out more dates for the start of the tribulation and a potential upheaval in LCGlala Land leadership:

I am not making a set in stone prediction, however in my personal opinion it looks highly likely that the Abomination COULD be set up in Rome in the second half of 2012 [probably in Sep.] calling for a New Europe; and the tribulation to begin 75 days later.

When the abomination is set up, and the New Europe comes together, all the biblical signs are present and peace and safety is declared; UCG and the other major groups  will reject the biblical signs around the peace and safety declaration; probably be saying that no Temple has been built and no Daily Sacrifice started: in a misunderstanding of the stopping of the Daily in the midst of the Week of Dan 9.

LCG: It is possible that LCG will have a new leadership before the end of 2012.  They are likely to cling to the widely held pagan idea; which seem to be unique in LCG compared to the other COGs;  that the full 70^th week of Daniel still needs to be fulfilled.  Therefore when the abomination is set up, many of them will be caught in the tribulation; believing the pagans rather than God’s word; that immediate destruction will come when peace and safety is declared. 

Idiots in the Pulpit: Weiner Dude Weinland

Weinerdude Weinland is cursing all who dare to mock his imbecilic rantings.

The only people in the world who think he is a true prophet 

is his equally idiotic wife (Witness #2 of the two of the Witless Witnesses) and his crazy daughter.

UCG Still Trying to Figure It Out Almost 17 Years Later

Seventy plus years down the pipeline and the COG's are still arguing what days to keep, human nauture, and unleavened bread.  Herb rebelled against the COG7th Day and started his own splinter group with these same topics thinking he knew better at the time.  Now 70 some years later his harlot daughters are STILL arguing over what they think is right and wrong.

UCG is looking into Passover, AGAIN.  Human nature, good, evil or neutral, AGAIN, eating unleavened bread during Days of UB, AGAIN...............The next thing we know they will be blabbering on about new moons, triple tithes, clean/unclean meats, and mixed fabrics.  Oh wait, they already do that!

When will they ever discuss something really important?

On Thursday afternoon the chairman of the Doctrine Committee, Bob Berendt, updated us on four doctrinal areas that are being examined by the committee at this time—most in response to the receipt of papers from members of the Church. They are: When does human life begin?, What is the proper date of the Passover?, Is human nature inherently good, evil or neutral?, and whether we are required to eat unleavened bread every day during the Days of Unleavened Bread

Then, due to the fact that income is down, they have to merge two UCG magazines into one to save money.  Readership is dropping too.  Only 300,000 people subscribe to the Good News.  That is some amazing worldwide ministry dudes!  The message of the Kingdom is sure making an impact.....NOT!

Is It A Sin To Watch American Football?

The COG numbnuts are out in full force today!  Prophet Thiel has this to say about American football:

Should Christians support violent sports like American football?
The late Herbert W. Armstrong wrote:

All Sports Not Wrong
Competition and not cooperation, is the attitude which Satan inculcates human minds. But that does not mean that all sports are wrong or to be banned. The law of God is based on the way of righteousness…The basic law is love, out flowing toward God above all else, and secondarily, “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.”
To harm the other fellow and to gain by doing so for self is a kind of competition that is wrong. Hostility toward the other is sin…
Boxing at Ambassador College is definitely banned. God did not create the human brain and head to be pummeled and knocked senseless by an antagonist.
Wherever a game in sports involves antagonists–in hostile attitude to harm the other and/or to “get” from the other–to get the best of the other then a harmful, satanic and evil attitude enters in, and the sport is evil, not good…
Football (American football) is a violent body-contact sport. It is often played with an attitude of hostility and is dangerous and is fraught with physical injury. (Plain Truth, July-August 1984)

I guess Prophet Thiel conveniently forgets that HWA loved to sit in front of his TV on Friday nights and Saturdays watching WWF Wrestling and old classic Westerns.  I guess body slams, headlocks, shooting cowboys and Indians scalping settlers was great Sabbath entertainment!  But according to The Prophet since these are all fake, it is OK.  However football play involves injuries and injuring an opponent is a sin. Plus, football involves competitiveness which is a major sin.  I see the Lake of Fire smoldering in eager anticipation......

The Prophet goes on to say:

After seeing the injuries that some of my high school football-playing colleagues suffered, I could not reconcile the scriptures with American football.   There are better ways for Christians to learn principles like teamwork from other sports or activities than watching actual violence.

John the Baptist taught, “Do violence to no man” (Luke 3:14, KJV), so what about violent sports?  The New Testament also warns Christians against being violent or approving of those that are (Romans 1:28-32), while history records that early Christians would not watch violent sports (e.g. Theophilus of Antioch. To Autolycus).

Years ago, Dr. Roderick C. Meredith wrote that avoiding bodily harm was an important health law (Seven Laws of Radiant Health).  Since it is best to avoid bodily injury, should Christians encourage others to put themselves in harm’s way?

 Unlike stories of violence in books or movies, American football involves actual violence and often physical injury–including brain damaging ones that are often not obvious for years...

Now how widespread brain damage from playing football is can be debated (and probably will be). But everyone has to know that crashing into other human beings in order to knock them down and/or stop them from running or throwing is not harmless.

While “love does no harm to a neighbor” (Romans 13:9), what do sports like American football and boxing do?

This is something that Christians, and others, should think about.