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If you're caught up in a Split, Splinter or Sliver of the WCG, and in particular, Bible prophecy, your life is constantly just around the corner, over the hill or soon coming.  The news of the day is read as constant sure signs of the end of time and the onset of the Wonderful World Tomorrow and the Kingdom of God. Life now is not your thing. It is life to come and soon that one is taught, week after week and sermon after sermon , as being the whole reason for your existence and the reason for great sacrifices now. Your time, money, heart, loyalty and attention is focused on anything but your real life now.   It is exemplified by Dave Pack's insane expectations of you for to hold all things common, except for him of course, and "Send it in" foolishness, which evidently many do.  It is also Bob Thiel's hunt and peck around fake prophetic ministry for news that fits his ideas of soon, shortly and it won't be long now. 

And all the time, one's real life now is ebbing away.

Alan Watts gives a nice reminder of a concept many Church of God devotees might do well to consider before it's all gone and "It is appointed unto all men once to die..." trumps "We shall not all die, but we shall all be changed..."   Remember, those who said that are dead and gone too. 

....and too...

If you actually listen to Alan Watts... a bonus offering from Garth! 

The Dance

PCG: Have You Memorized 850 Bible Verses?

The Philadelphia Church of God is bragging about this on Twitter right now:

They can force their kids to memorize it all they want but it is ultimately useless when the entire basis for their belief system is a perverted mess created by Gerald Flurry.  Memorizing a whole bunch of scriptures while turning their backs on parents, grandparents, siblings, and friends who disagree with Flurry, proves it has no value to them.

The Ministerial Conference

Not the greatest personal memory...

Since Gerald Weston seems to still be holding out for a Ministerial Conference in the midst of all the current chaos and present distress, I got to thinking back on all the one's I have been subjected to in my past life. In later years they were called "Refresher Programs" and were generally exhausting.

First of all, the real purpose of the Ministerial Conference was for Headquarters and the Administrations, be it the Armstrongs or the Tkaches was to keep a grip on the connection between themselves and all the local ministry and congregations. It is difficult to do when, in fact, a local church and pastor generally could get along just fine without them. That fact took years to dawn on most but the sense of it was always there running silently in the background especially when yearly scandals and drama flowed freely into the mailboxes and lives of minister and member. 

"To be Played in All the Churches" taped sermons served the same function. I personally got used to listening them while preparing a sermon on Fridays and more often than not, not bothering as they were nothing special, save for keeping the local/headquarters connection alive.  In my in at the time I felt I had more to say to a congregation I actually knew and they had no clue about. 

I'll try to be brief. No, I will be.

Ministerial Conferences were hardly conferences. We conferred about nothing I recall. We listened to what we were told on all topics. Some conferences were more tension filled than others. The food was good. There was the occasional entertainment. Once we all got blood tests minor physicals. HWA said "you ministers" a few times.  

The only hopeful and positive one I recall was the one where the Systematic Theology Project (STP) was presented. It was very good. Topics such as Healing, Divorce and Remarriage and Tithing were all address in a very real and practical way. Loved it and felt the church was finally growing up. Then I got home, HWA demanded all copies be returned and the Dark Ages returned.  It was basically all down hill from there. 

I sat through some pretty heated arguments during the receivership crisis of  '79 while my 29 year old Presbyterian mind spun wondering how could a church be put into receivership?  What did that mean?  I almost didn't go but another minister said "C'mon, it will be interesting", so I went. It was not interesting. It fueled my doubts about this kind of church compared to my upbringing. 

There was a lot of talk about demons and resisting the State as where Satan was currently working. All bullshit. HWA got caught and questioned about money and a host of other things and it got out of hand real quick.  Ultimately the Gates of Hell did not prevail against the one true church making room for even more chaos, rumors, scandal and my personal "what the hell have I gotten into and what do I do, I thought I was called into a legitimate ministry..." mode.

In one session of one Refresher we were "taught" how to use 3x5 cards and a card file for sermon ideas. I left.  In another, an Evangelist who obviously got stuck having to present something and did no preparation went through all the Naves Topical scripture on marriage from Genesis to Revelation. Or so they said, I left.   

Then there was the visit to a session by HWA himself. Applause when he came in and "there were two trees..."  I couldn't leave but I went brain dead.  Applause when he left with the entourage but not for the content of his talk. 

I've referred in the past to the session "Should members engage in oral sex" so I spare us. I'll just say some found it distasteful and others hilarious. It lasted about 15 minutes and we all left getting the message across to the presenter to mind their own business. Local ministers 1.  Headquarters 0

I don't recall anything meaningful. Nothing on real theological questions or difficulties. HQ and HWA knew all the answers. There were really no questions, only doubts and fears to be minimized and faith to be shored up at the conference. No science. No discussions on real history or the findings of the topics I find myself having written about in the past as a reflection of past "What about this...?" that would never be addressed.

I found myself over time dropping topics from my own sermons such as tithing and healing as presented in the traditional WCG way and never a sermon on places of safety or British Israelism. I never cared personally about those topics as it seemed the NT didn't care about them either and they were riddled with danger and racism based on bad information and speculation. 

Lots to muse about but to the point.  Gerald Weston badly wants the conference mostly because of the connection it maintains between Charlotte and all the churches which is paramount. They don't wish it to dawn on anyone that the kind of HQ control in thoughts, words, beliefs and deeds is archaic, knowledge restrictive and a threat to the concept of "send it in." It's  a pulse taking exercise of the local minister.  It's also a make work situation for many at any HQ. Lots of HQ minister types at least have little to actually do or accomplish so they make work to look forward to.  Some field ministers would have had little to do , like a Dave Pack, if they weren't so busy minding everyone's business and stirring up problems they then went out to "solve".  

They can say the reason for a Ministerial Conference is to ensure...

1 Corinthians 1:10 10I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our LORD Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought.

... all they want, but it is a control mechanism and an impediment to speaking the same right things.  The above mentioned scripture is also an impossibility where two or three are gathered together in anyone's name. 

But mostly it keeps "Send it in" in one's mind.   

PS  I predict Gerald will cancel out of necessity if he has already not done so. 

PPS  Gary I know you are laughing at me  for obvious reasons...  :)
PPPS  And too...I am in quarantine with my sweetie who just returned quickly from Europe two weeks early the day before all hell broke loose there and here after the Moron's Address to the Nation, so I have too much time on my hands. 

Could Be, May Be, Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda: The Consistent Failure By COG Prophets To Prophesy

As coronavirus, locusts and panic gripe the world, Church of God prophets are in meltdown mode right now. They have an endless stream of  MIGHT BE,  COULD BE, WILL IT BE, DOES IT LEAD UP TO..., and other useless speculations.  They always have an easy out when their stupidity never comes true. They then think when they are mocked that they have an easy out by claiming they never specifically said something would happen.

Case in point:

The novel coronavirus of Wuhan, China fame, is now called COVID-19. It has also been called the ‘Coronapocalypse.’ Does COVID-19 have any prophetic ramifications? What did Jesus teach about pestilences and sorrows in the Olivet prophecy in Matthew 24? Could COVID-19 be the ride of the fourth horseman of the Apocalypse? Why was this type of disease expected according to the Old Testament prophecies in Deuteronomy and Leviticus? What has the US Centers for Disease Control warned about? What has the CDC reported about the flu? Were there lessons about fear and infections in the 2011 movie ‘Contagion’? Because of COVID-19, the World Health Organization (WHO), nation of Iran, and certain French locations are telling people not to use cash, but instead electronic forms of payment. The US Federal Reserve is now quarantining money repatriated from Asia to reduce the potential spread of the coronavirus on US currency bills. Is COVID-19 worse than we have been told or could this all be a ‘false flag’ event to encourage people to move towards a cashless society? If the thousands of deaths associated with COVID-19 are pushing parts of the world towards cashlessness, how much more likely will the ride of the fourth horseman and over a billion human deaths motivate people to move to making electronic payments that can be monitored? The Bible tells of a soon coming society that controls buying and selling to force allegiance to a coming European Beast power, known as 666 (Revelation 13:16-18). Does the ‘great tribulation’ begin before ride of the fourth horseman or with the opening of the fifth seal of Revelation 6? Do the words of Jesus helps us better understand the sequence of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse and the start of the Great Tribulation? Will the ride of the fourth horseman help lead to the rise of 666? Is that ride very close? Dr. Thiel addresses these issues and more.

Has this man ever told the truth since he started lying about his double blessing and dreams? Can he ever be trusted?

LCG Streaming Crashes For Viewers...Was It Satan Attacking Them?

Living Church of God sure has been batting pretty low this past week.  They can't even get thier streaming service to work right.

From a reader:

Site crashed. 

All I got to hear was Weston claim how he saved the church a ton of money by not cancelling the ministerial conference. And then started telling people how to maintain formality at home listening in. We are to dress up, sit attentively and don't dare kick up your feet and stuff your face. Also, don't you dare think for a second about saving yourself hours of drive time in the future by trying to tune in to webcasts on a weekly basis in your dirty undershirts. Afraid of what a little freedom might taste like to the sheep? Jesus Christ...tear down this wall!

From another reader:

LCG claims to have hosted thousands upon thousands of streaming Web connections for their Family Weekend services and for Rod Meredith's special presentations. The load today should be substantially less. So, if today's load crashes their servers, was LCG lying about the numbers of connections for their previous events? Or has LCG downgraded its streaming capability at a time when others are increasing theirs? Or is this simply a case of incompetent management? As Rod Meredith would say, "Where is God in all of this?" 

LCG: Don't Mock Our "Rules and Regulations" For Proper Dress and Grooming For Church Attendance

In this dramatic climate with people worrying over Coronavirus, the stock market and crazy rantings of doom and gloom preachers, the Living Church of God is focusing on how you look and act in church.

Then today, Saturday, March 14 we find out that Weston lectured his followers that they had to dress up to live stream services. How silly and petty can this guy get?

Be Lights and Examples: The Scriptures reveal that God desires His people to be lights and examples to a world enveloped in darkness. God called Abraham to learn to live by His commandments and to walk before Him and be blameless (Genesis 17:1; 26:5). Moses told the Israelites that God gave them His laws to set them apart from other nations so they could be examples to the world—and they were to pass these concepts on to their children (Deuteronomy 4:1–9). The Old Testament states that God’s people are to live moral lives, avoid profanity, avoid sexual perversions, and refrain from getting tattoos or dressing like the opposite sex (Exodus 20; Leviticus 18:22; 19:28; Deuteronomy 22:5). In the New Testament, Jesus told His disciples to be lights to the world and live, not only by the letter of God’s law, but also by the spirit of the law (Matthew 5:13–30). In addition, the Apostle Paul advised Christians to wear their hair in a manner that was appropriate for either a man or a woman (1 Corinthians 11:14–16) and that men and women should dress in modest and appropriate apparel—especially for Church services (Matthew 22:11–12; 1 Timothy 2:9–10). While some want to dismiss these clear biblical guidelines as “rules and regulations” that are no longer relevant to modern Christians, these instructions were preserved for us in God’s word to set His people apart from Satan’s society so we can truly be lights to this world—not only spiritually, but also physically. As standards of conduct and dress continue to decline, these biblical guidelines will become increasingly noticeable as Christians function as “lights” in a darkened world.

Have a profitable Sabbath,

Douglas S. Winnail

God's Only True Prophet Claims Fasting Will Help You To Not Catch Coronavirus

Where would Armstrongism be without some internal crackpot saying something stupid during an epidemic or tragedy? In their eyes, they are seeing prophecy unfold before them and see it as an opportunity to say stupid things with members believing them unquestionably. This is especially true for some of our crazier splinter cult leaders today, all men who set themselves up as leaders and spokesmen for some creature they call god. The pseudo-spiritual rot that eats away at their minds leads them into all kinds of wild fantasies, especially as the Coronavirus concerns spread around the world.

Our favorite dream weaver, end time embodiment of Elijah, and leader of the improperly named "continuing" Church of God has this to say 

World News Items

The coronavirus continues to dominate much of the news around the world. Europe’s economy, particularly its tourism, is taking a big hit (see ‘Will Brexit and coronavirus end the EU? and ‘Coronavirus Fear Cancels Events Across Asia, Striking at Economy’ ‘Tourism is 10% of GDP in France, 13% in Italy, 15% in Spain. And Now it’s in Free Fall’ and ‘Facing recession, Europe grasps for ways to limit damage’). Last night US President Donald Trump announced a 30 day ban on flights from Europe–with the notable exception of the British Isles–and the Europeans and not pleased with that (see ‘World walls off as leaders warn viral pandemic will worsen’). This ban not only could push Europe into a financial crisis, it is another move separating the US from the bulk of the continental Europeans. They will not forgive and forget this–this will be added to the list of reasons they will hate the US for.

Regarding COVID-19, some ‘fact checkers’ have been a bit dismissive of some ways to strengthen the immune system (e.g. COVID-19 and Vitamin C: The truth, the myth, and the hype). While washing hands is good (see ‘Coronavirus: Steps to stay safe,’ ‘How To Avoid Getting Infected By The Coronavirus,’ ‘Italy Shuts Down North in COVID-19 Fight,’ ‘Every EU member except Cyprus has infections,’ and ‘COVID-19 Leading to 666?’), things such as fasting and eating more fruit (when not fasting, of course) can help the immune system–though neither of those are guaranteed ways to avoid getting COVID-19 or other ailments.

That being said, the fallout from COVID-19 looks to be a way to get people to become more suspicious of physical cash. This will likely make the implementation of ‘666’ financial controls (Revelation 13:16-18) more politically-acceptable in the future. Our recommended sermonette for the week is related to that: COVID-19 Leading to 666?

Tensions between Turkey and the European Union remain as Turkey is pressuring the EU by releasing/pushing out certain Syrian refugees near the Greek border (see ‘Turkey Tears Down Greek Border Fence: Floods EU with Syrians’). While Turkey looks prophesied to separate from Europe and align itself with the Arabic King of the South for a time (cf. Daniel 11:40-43; Psalm 83:5-7), this will not last and Turkey will later align with the European Beast (cf. Daniel 11:25-26, 11:41).

Over in Russia, a constitutional change was announced that theoretically could result in Vladimir Putin being in office until 2036 (see Reuters: Putin opens door to changes that would allow him to stay in power until 2036; COGWriter: Could Vladimir Putin lead the prophesied 200 million man army?). It is possible that if he does do so, that he could be the leader of the 200 million man army of Revelation 9:16 as the Old Testament points to Russia leading a major force in the end times (cf. Jeremiah 50:8-9, 41-43; 51:11) BEFORE Jesus returns.

Speaking of Russia, it and Saudi Arabia split over oil production this week. Some wonder if this could more negatively affect Saudi Arabia than Russia and potential cause some type of change or unrest in the Saudi kingdom (see SF: Saudi-Initiated All-Out Oil War Could Lead To Collapse Of Kingdom Itself; COGwriter: A prelude to the King of the South?). It is possible that what is happening in what looks to be a producers’ ‘war’ may be a factor in change coming to Saudi Arabia as it will one day, temporarily, support the coming King of the South (Daniel 11:40-43).

I left Chief Overseer Bwana Bob Thiel's hyperlinks intact in case you want to read his nonsense.