(This is not angry. Hang tight, and read on.)
How many men who were in Club in the Worldwide Church of God remember the infamous Attack Speech. The Speech where podiums were hurled (really!), water was thrown, fists were pounded, high voices went low, and veins bulged.
For those who were never a part of club, this was the speech assignment where you were supposed to get up there and get MAD. I mean, BOILING MAD. RAGE!!!!!!
You had to make a "Furious" frontal attack! Don't swerve right or left - BAM! Onslaught! Begin intensely and CRESCENDO to an EXPLOSION! Make those Jowels flap! Swing those arms wide! Knock over lamps!
Go down the warpath! Denounce it! LET LOOSE, you were told to do it! Discharge volley after volley! Let that spit fly! Be RIGHTEOUSLY indignant! That's it, picture Armstrong up on that podium! See him bounce up and down on that chair! Watch that head vibrate like an off-balance washing machine! There you go! BAM! Eyes are bulging! CRESCENDO IT until it ECHOES! MAKE THOSE PEOPLE FEAR WITH THE POWER OF YOUR DEEP MANLY VOICE!!! Wait, sorry. You're not preaching at the Feast of Tabernacles. This is just club. Right.
That's it. Pulse quicken! Breath short! Face turns red! YELL! SCREAM! ATTACK! CRESCENDO! BLAMMO! WHAMMO! There goes the LECTERN! Don't pay attention to that wayward lectern. KEEP IT UP! FOCUS! PASSION! BLAST!
Here's the rest of us. Internally. If not really.
submitted by SHT
