Perpetually Butt-hurt COG Crackpot Prophet Claims Most COG's Are Too Stupid To Understand Prophecy And Signs Of The End Times

Never in the history of Christianity has the church been so blessed to have in its midst the most intelligent man to ever lead a Church of God. No one in the last 2,000 years understands the Bible better than the Almost-arrested, Perpetually-butt-hurt, Beto Bwana Bob Thiel.

Today the Great Bwana lashed out at the other Churches of God by telling them that they were too stupid to understand the Bible like he does. Only the Great Beto has true biblical knowledge.

The Churches of God are wrong on so many things just because Beto Bob says so and is so irritated that he has compiled a list of 50 things COG groups are too stupid to understand. Of course, it all boils down to one big glaring issue, the COG groups REFUSE to support Beto Bob and his sad little ministry.

Beto writes:

"One thing that I have noticed is that the Laodiceans, as well as those of the remnants of the Sardis Church, misunderstand many aspects of end time prophecy. 

 

"Most Laodiceans do not accept that God has been doing that in the 21st century."

Beto claims Herbert Armstrong wrote about  his emergence in the end times 

Those with at least a partial WCG background should consider that the late Pastor General of the old Worldwide Church of God, Herbert W. Armstrong, taught that Acts 2:17-18 had a future application in a 1981 sermon: 

 

Joel 2:28-29 And your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions: (29) And also upon the servants and upon the handmaids in those days will I pour out my spirit. 

 

So there is a time coming when God will start pouring out His spirit on human beings. ... Day of Pentecost, 3000 were baptized. Peter preached a sermon. They were pricked in their hearts.

God began to draw them. God was now ... Remember He said, “I will pour out of my spirit on all flesh.” All right, there’s a duality of that. (Armstrong HW. Building The Temple. Sermon, February 14, 1981) 

 

Herbert W. Armstrong said the time was coming when God would pour out His Spirit. There was a duality to what Peter preached in Acts 2 — and that duality is for the last days — our current time! His old correspondence department also taught that God would again use dreams. 

 

Yet, those of Sardis and Laodicea have discounted how God’s Spirit has been poured out in ways such as dreams as well as through a prophet.

HWA was no more predicting Bwana Bob than he would be in acknowledging Dave Pack as a real servant of God. HWA would have kicked Bob Thiel out so fast he wouldn't even have time to say "Ghastly days!"

Here is an abbreviated version of the 50 things Bwana Bob claims he is 100% accurate on and which the various COG's refuse to follow.

Here is an abbreviated list of misunderstandings in various claimed COG groups that I have personally denounced:

1)    Many COG groups (ICG, CGI, UCG, COGaIC, CG7-D, CGG, CEM, etc.) do not officially teach and/or do not believe in the idea of Church eras. Because of that they do not teach certain prophetic aspects of this, most do not see their own problems and will have to go through the Great Tribulation.

2)    Several COG groups do not believe that the Gospel of the Kingdom of God still needs to be preached to the world...hence do not have the real Philadelphian work.

3)    At least three groups misunderstand the Gospel and COG doctrines so much (PCG, CGPFK, and RCG) that I question if their top leaders are actually converted members of the COG. The leaders of those groups have had major predictions been proven to be false (CGPFK, PCG, and RCG).

4)    Many, if not most, COG groups do not realize that the Great Tribulation begins with the King of the North invading the USA, UK, and/or their Anglo-Saxon descended allies (Daniel 11:39).

5)    Many COG groups misunderstand the identity of the King of the South (Daniel 11:40-43), and some have the wrong prophetic sequence regarding the King of the South...those who hold to a differing view will not know when the Great Tribulation will begin until after it has started.

6)    Some (CEG, GCG-UK) teach that there is no biblically-required King of the South,

7)    Those who insist that the final King of the South must be Ethiopia will not possibly realize that the Great Tribulation will begin until it is too late 

8)    Several COG groups (like CGG, RCG, PCG, COGWA) clearly misunderstand Daniel 9:27...Those who misunderstand it will not have a proper pre- warning of what is happening nor likely know when the Great Tribulation will begin.

9)    Various COG groups (UCG, COGWA, COGaIC, RCG, and CGOM, come to immediate mind, but they are not the only ones) have so many areas of undefined prophecy that they will not know what certain events will mean.

10)    A couple of groups, such as CGPFK and TPM, have been repeatedly proven wrong about their dates for the start of the Great Tribulation and (like RCG) the return of Jesus Christ. Those who rely on teachers of those groups really do not understand biblical prophecy.

12)    Most COG groups fail to understand Habakkuk 2:2-8...Many do not realize that Habakkuk 2:2-8 is related to fleeing and the start of the Great Tribulation,

14)    Many COG groups have various ‘Elijah heresies’ (most CGI-derived groups as well as RCG come to mind). Because of this, they will not be able to recognize the final Elijah.   

24)    At least one COG group (CG7-D) basically teaches that most of the events of Revelation have already taken place and no one needs to be concerned about coming persecution as none supposedly is coming

29)    At least two groups teach that the ‘man of sin’ is (or could be) Joseph Tkach, Jr. (PCG, COG-FF). This absurd position also partially leads to many other misunderstandings.

30)    At least one group (RCG) has improperly declared Satan will enter a COG leader to make him the man of sin. (since this refers to Bob Thiel I can see why this upsets him) 

31)    A few teach that a massive Jewish temple in Jerusalem must be rebuilt before Jesus returns

34)    None of the Laodicean or Sardis COGs seem to teach that the “strongest fortresses” in Daniel 11:39 refers to the USA — but it does.

38)    At least one group has publicly claimed that God has no prophets today and will not have any until the two witnesses are empowered. (in this same point the Great Bwaana makes this idiotic comment: Does anyone think God provided no possible warning related to the coronavirus which impacted the feeling of peace of the world more than almost anything since WWII? Yet, this author did in 2013 and 2014.)

43)    One group erroneously taught (PCG) that half of the Laodiceans would die before April 30, 2021.

47)    Many groups do not teach much about prophecy

48)    Nearly all COG groups and independents do not accept that God has been fulfilling prophecies. (The comple list of 50 can be found here in his online rag: Bible News Propehcy (sic)

The Great Bwana, the most misunderstood prophet in human history makes another asinine observation claiming that a COG minister told him that HWA would have agreed with some of his (Bwana Bob's) teachings. It just frosts Bob's sanctimonious butt that other COG's do not agree with him.

This being said, some will come up with their preferred rational as why not to agree with the position of the Continuing Church of God (CCOG) on these matters. Yet not only are they biblical, on most of those points, the old WCG taught what I believe that the Bible teaches on them (on the few that it did not, one is consistent with a November 1979 HWA writing and on the others, a former adviser to HWA told me that HWA would have agreed with me on those as well, as one HWA had not investigated and some others were not issues when he was alive — and, of course, the Bible, and not HWA’s opinion, is the standard). 

The bald-faced lies just keep getting deeper and deeper as Bwana Bob makes more allegations:

It should be noted that leaders while in the Living Church of God and/or the United Church of God confirmed to me personally that I was biblically correct on pretty much all the above points.

It is an established fact that LCG never said any such things and numerous postings by LCG Ministers over the years prove that. 

All of the Churches of God have placed their lives in peril for failing to acknowledge Bwana Bob as the anointed Elijah to come:

There are also more prophetic differences that other COG groups have from the Bible. The reality is that without the right emphasis on the final phase of the work, holding the Bible in sufficiently high regard, practicing Philadelphian love, and ignoring one anointed like Elisha, the COG groups that ignore prophetic warnings are doing so to their peril.

Unless the Church of God groups repent and turn to the one true COG leader, their salvation is in peril and WILL NOT be protected in the tribulation. What a steaming pile of bullshit!

Without repentance, those who hold to certain of the listed errors will NOT be protected from the coming Great Tribulation (Matthew 24:21) as they will not even know when it will begin until it has already started.

The current lies being promulgated by Dave Pack and Gerald Flurry are right on par with Bwana Bob's lies. No Christian needs to be following Beto Bob. Their salvation is not at risk if they refuse to follow and support him. They will have no condemnation for refusing to do so and will not be left out in the cold during some tribulation that is the figment of Bwana Bob's tortured mind. 

Restored Church of God Makes Up More Excuses As To Why Christ Failed To Return

 

A Most Pathetic Update

 

Yesterday was not a good day at the Headquarters of The Restored Church of God, especially on the third floor of the Hall of Administration. The mood there was as somber as a morgue because Jesus Christ did not return on The Feast of Trumpets as Pastor General David C. Pack had been "rushing to call it out" for several weeks.

 

Dave must have been wandering around with a shell-shocked, blank expression. Maybe it was because all his prophetic theories faded as the sun set across the international date line, or, more likely, it was due to the initial Holy Day Offerings Reports trickling in from the field ministers.

 

It was a bad day for Headquarters. It was a bad day for all the members of The Restored Church of God. They really do have to cancel their lunch plans for October 5.

 

A “Pathetic Update” (formerly known as Prophecy Update) was posted in Member Services yesterday. By far, this is the most “we do not know what is going on” announcement the ministry has ever made.

 

David C. Pack is more confused, desperate, and utterly “beside himself” than ever before. The walls are closing in; you can feel it in this short posting.

 

If I highlighted the “interesting” parts of this, the whole block of text would shine like the noonday sun. Oops. Nobody should utter "noon" around Mr. Pack for the foreseeable future. Add that to the list, including (but not limited to) Tammuz, Av, Elul, Trumpets, Jerusalem, Habakkuk, Zechariah, and shade.

 

All the Dave Pack-enthusiasts out there might want to read this text slowly.

 

 

Dear brethren,

 

A few important words of encouragement. Sometimes stark choices are helpful in galvanizing the mind. So then—either the year 2022 is wrong, or a Trumpets start is wrong because it has passed and 2022 is correct. They can no longer both be true! Our choices are: (1) break off our watching, except for every Feast of Trumpets, or (2) continue watching on a daily/hourly basis knowing we are “in the window” of a first Kingdom that many verses say must come in harvest. Know this!

 

It appears impossible for many reasons to “break” the metrics that point to 2022. Believe us, we have tried! (Just think of the queen’s death or that the Kingdom comes in a year after summer ended—or even now with Hurricane Ian that there may be no Safety Harbor, FL, Feast site, what does this mean?) However, Trumpets can remain a useful guide—as the Col. 2:16 “shadow”—in front of an imminent Kingdom.

 

It is important to note that the days of the first Kingdom—those days, the last days, days of the Son of Man—now become literal days, not parts of a single long day, which returns to its place as the day of the Lord. You may have fun trying to think of all the clues about how long we have suspected this Kingdom may be and where the Sabbath and Atonement and the 8 days of the Feast of Tabernacles and Last Great Day all fit “in one month.”

 

David C. Pack

 

 

The Last go First. The last point is worth examining first.

 

…and where the Sabbath and Atonement

and the 8 days of the Feast of Tabernacles

and Last Great Day all fit “in one month.”

 

He is already planting the seeds of preparation for the “meat” of Part 395.

 

This non-prophet/non-psychic will let you in on a little secret: I do not have “special” insight into the mind of David C. Pack. The members who have left know Dave will circle around after Trumpets and look at the rest of the fall Holy Days. This is an annual occurrence.

 

Only the still-blind inside RCG will be surprised by this. Sadly, some members are still experiencing medical-grade denial by willfully riding the RCG Nonsense Rollercoaster. These people get angry if you express your concerns, take you to the biblical woodshed, and then snitch you out to the nearest “minister.”

 

Even members of the Headquarters congregation no longer talk about the prophecy series. Their expressions tell the tale. The only ones who want to talk and continue to be “excited” are not the ones you want to open your mouth around. Any expressed concern would scratch the bubble of their perfect little reality.

 

The pod people are not just in the ministry. They sit next to you. They made their famous au gratin potatoes for the meal. They spread mulch in the garden beside you. They ask how your mom is doing. They put their green envelope in the basket Monday with a heart full of joy.

 

Do not fall asleep around them, or they will pull a Donald Sutherland on you.

 

The Restored Church of God is not the same place I left in March of 2021. I hear stories from people leaving…wow…it is getting worse there.

 

A few important words of encouragement.

 

I will call “tom foolery” on that one. The words in the text are neither important nor encouraging.

 

…either the year 2022 is wrong,

or a Trumpets start is wrong because it has passed and 2022 is correct.

They can no longer both be true!

 

Why am I still amazed when the passage of time makes the truth evident, yet they announce that as if it is an unusual phenomenon? “They can no longer both be true!” Duh. A big fat DUH.

 

So much for the God-inspired preaching of David C. Pack not so long ago.

 

Part 394 – September 24

@ 00:22 Time has grown serious. It’s become now or wait a year.

@ 13:05 It’s now or never. Time is serious.

@ 18:01 So, is it a coincidence we’re learning this right now?

 

The only “coincidences” that occurred are inside the corrupted mind of a false prophet and false apostle. A deluded, desperate man clawing his way to a legitimacy that will never be.

 

@ 07:25 Well, how come nobody who’s ever lived ever saw it before?

 

Because it is pure fantasy.

 

@ 37:23 …and waiting to the 1335, which, on God's authority, has to be Trumpets…

 

David C. Pack. Pastor General of The Restored Church of God. Professional Blasphemer. This one statement shows this man's contempt for God's name. God's name has no value to him; remember when he invokes it.

 

What does the Bible say the origin is when someone goes beyond a “yes” or a “no?”

 

@ 39:17 At 11:33 tomorrow, you’ve made it.

 

The history books can now add the entirety of Parts 393 and 394 to the "God never intended" this “ridiculous” content that “never made sense” taught by a “presuming” prophetic fraud.

 

It appears impossible for many reasons

to “break” the metrics that point to 2022.

Believe us, we have tried!

 

I volunteer to take a crack at this. The “metrics” are more worthless than the paper they are written on. That is not my opinion, but an undeniable fact.

 

Since 2013, all the metrics and all the math and all the proofs over the years have led to one thing: Failure. The Feast of Trumpets on Monday is only the latest in a long series of “Hey, God is not with us!” statements.

 

…Trumpets can remain a useful guide…

 

I giggled like Kevin on The Office when I read that. The “useful guide” is what NOT TO DO.

 

David C. Pack is determined to prove to the world that he is special and right. He will continue to burn through cash and people to do that. And it is a goal he will never achieve. God will not allow it.

 

It is important to note that the days of the first Kingdom—

those days, the last days, days of the Son of Man—

now become literal days, not parts of a single long day,

which returns to its place as the day of the Lord.

 

In other words, “Just go ahead and ignore what I said in Part 394 and, please also ignore that embarrassing Member Services posting from Friday. Those of us at Headquarters have no idea what is going on and accidentally clued you in on that.”

 

It isn't. It is. It isn't. It is. It isn't. That is the RCG way. And we are supposed to trust these same people when they say, "Jesus Christ is the Mighty Angel of Revelation 10," or "the Father is the God of the Old Testament," or “Elijah is just a title?” No thank you.

 

Brad, Ed, Jaco, Ryan, Ken, Tim, Carl, Andrew, Jim, Salasi, Frank, Mike, and Raymond…please rate from 1 to 10 the current Panic Level inside The Restored Church of God. Just leave a number in the comments section.

 

You may have fun trying to think of all the clues

about how long we have suspected this Kingdom may be…

 

That does not sound like fun at all. None of this is fun for those still inside The Restored Church of God. None of this is fun for those with family and friends trapped inside The Restored Church of God.

 

This latest announcement screams desperation and disorder emanating from the RCG leadership. The enablers at Headquarters know David C. Pack is a false prophet and false apostle but lack the strength and courage to do anything about it.

 

All we can do is hope that the brethren take action.

Marc Cebrian

See: A Most Pathetic Update

Feast of Tabernacles Sites: Did God Choose That Site Or Did Men?

 

It is that time of year as COG members are scurrying about preparing to head off to various Feast of Tabernacle sites around the world. Excitement is in the air as foreign destinations promise exciting adventures. Children fret about being pulled from school for 10-12 days, missing loads of lessons and homework. Parents have to take off work, sometimes using vacation pay and other times with no pay at all. Some have built up sizable 2nd tithe funds for grand adventures as others struggle to have enough money for gas and accommodations at some Feast sites. 

Ministers receive their large Feast stipend checks from HQ as they make reservations at resorts that provide them free rooms where they get to pull out old Feast sermons from years before and recycle their message. Seriously ask yourself when have you EVER heard an original sermon at the Feast that was unique and truly memorable? We can all probably write out ahead of time the seven points that will be delivered and check them off one by one as you are bored out of your mind. If you are listening to Bob Thiel you will get to hear his 45+ speaking points during each sermon. Imagine how fun that checklist would be!

Then, add to that the expectation that you will be dumping hundreds of dollars into offering baskets during this time, and suddenly the fun is a little less. But it has been ingrained in all that we must sacrifice and be tested so this is a test, one of an endless stream of tests COG members are subjected to in the church. 

But never mind those trials, God has personally picked out this Feast site for you to attend at. God sent his angels, unbeknownst to the various resort owners, to scout out locations for a celebration focused upon old covenant teachings. The angels scoured the surrounding area for hotels and fun activities for members to engage in, or better yet, skip services and go and really have fun at. Never once should you imagine a team of men sitting around a table discussing Feast site locations and which would offer the most opportunities for members. That NEVER happens! But, if it did, then God personally impregnated their minds with those specific locations where members can have fun.

Every COG makes this claim, so the one below from Rick Schabi represents them all:

We embrace that vision of God’s Kingdom and show Him our desire and faith in Him by leaving our homes to go to the place where He has put His name. We stay there all seven days of the Feast, plus the Eighth Day, living in temporary dwellings. And our focus while there is on that Kingdom and living in the “zone” with each other apart from the world.

Apart from the world? Yeah, right. You picked convention centers or locations in some of the busiest towns and/or some of the best resorts. Members are no more apart from the world than they are at Winter Family Weekends held at resorts decked out to the nines with Christmas decorations.

There will be few sermons at the Feast discussing Jesus, and if he is mentioned it is that he is really ticked off and so angry that he is coming back to punish people, kill a whole bunch and THEN usher in peace and glory of his Dad's kingdom.

Chag Sameach!