David C. Pack Is Not Funny, D'oh!

 

David C. Pack Is Not Funny

 

There are times when David C. Pack of The Restored Church of God is unintentionally funny. There are other times when he thinks he is funny, but he is far from it.

 

The suffering the Pastor General has personally caused the brethren is no laughing matter. It is not humorous to think of how things might go down once David C. Pack stands before the Judgment Seat of Christ. It will go quite the opposite the way he expects.

 

I have committed the unpardonable sin IF David C. Pack is moved by the Holy Spirit to continue “The Greatest Untold Story!” Series to convey knowledge from God to His people. I understand and accept the risks. But, the evidence is overwhelming about which sides of the fence he and I both stand on. 

 

David C. Pack is a hypocrite, a false prophet, and a blaspheming liar. That is not an accusation but an observation.

 

The most easily-proven facts of this matter are the continual date-setting that results without any sign or wonder manifesting.

 

 

During “The Greatest Unending Story! (Part 454)” on June 17, 2023, the arrival of the Kingdom of God was declared to be Tammuz 1 (Monday, June 19 at sunset). That may sound familiar. He taught the same Hebrew date in 2022. The result from both years was the same: nothing.

 

Remember when the Tammuz Cooking Table looked like this last year?

Dave has vacillated between it is, or it is not his job to declare dates. He cannot resist being a walking calendar, just as he cannot resist being the center of attention. When the brethren gather on the Sabbath at Headquarters, they come to worship him, not God. They focus on him and not God.

 

Part 454 – June 17, 2023

@ 56:55 If this doesn’t happen Monday, if this doesn't happen Monday unless you don't believe the Bible,write off Av.

 

@ 1:07:43 These metrics I’m giving you, I’m gonna use a word they are “insurmountable.” They cannot be surmounted. They could be true and not happen Monday, but we're waiting 382 days, or this was all an act.

 

Dave will never wait 382 days, never mind a week.

 

@ 1:15:19 So, the Series is over. Simplicity truly reigns…After the final message that was supposta be given in a season foretold to be given in season…This puts us at mid-day Monday when I am told twice that I’m found so doing.

 

@ 1:25:29 If an oracle comes from Gabriel or something. I don’t know how you can change the Bible, so I wouldn't believe, and I do not believe, and my position is that it is either Monday [June 19], and then I bow and grab my head and say, "or we're waiting 382 days." Otherwise, I have to contort the Bible, and I might as well add another kingdom or something.

 

@ 1:26:33 But, my position is, I’m as convicted about Tammuz 1 Monday as I am the Sixth King. And if it is not Monday (I’m just telling you my position), I’m gonna buckle up and get ready for a long year. God help us.

 

Mr. Putin will be greatly disappointed to hear this. Tammuz 1 failed, which cracks the door open on the possibility that Mr. Putin may not be the Sixth King of Revelation 17:10. To tease the Russian President would not be funny, Dave. Poking the Russian bear as a joke would NOT be funny at all.

 

It is a good thing Mr. Putin has no chance of hearing about it.

 

 

Four days later, Dave begins his self-damage control.

 

Part 455 – June 21, 2023

@ 00:04 I suspected almost immediately (within minutes almost) that the last sermon was covered that I would need to come back one more time.

 

Dave loves to brag about how quickly he knew he would fail, as if that excuses teaching biblical fraud to the church. He has a long, documented history of the malarkey cloud settling on his head moments after shutting his big fat mouth. Just think of all the foolishness inside The Restored Church of God that could have been spared if he kept his lips pressed together ALL the time.

 

@ 57:51 There would be a final message. How many times have we thought there was a final message? This is the 256^th final message…It’s impossible to get any of this wrong where everything’s plain.

 

Hold that thought. Especially looking BACK on Dave's proclamations after they had already failed.

@ 1:16:28 They’ll be one single place on the planet where Christ comes at sundown in Jerusalem…We’re looking at two possible Sabbaths. The 5^th [of Tammuz – June 24] or the 12^th [July 1]. It looks like the Bible says the 5^th.

 

@ 1:20:05 …but I have nothing else to say… So, I’m just trying to tell you. This is the ballgame today.

 

@ 1:24:36 Is another week possible? Another message isn’t. But is another week possible? Yes. Yes. I can just tell you that unless God violates His word, two more weeks aren’t possible. And I can’t think of a single reason why you’d wait to the 12^th [Tammuz, July 1].

 

According to the mouth of David C. Pack, God violated His word. How does that NOT make him a blasphemer? Is that an accusation or an observation? Brad, please explain where I am off in my thinking.

 

 

This faux heart-to-heart is just the type of manipulation the gullible in RCG still get googly-eyed over.

@ 1:24:59 I always wanted to share something with you. Privately. But this been private, but I'll just be public about it. Were there another year (of course, I don’t believe this. I shouldn’t have to say that), but were there, I’m finally at peace.

 

We can all be thankful the false prophet and false apostle has peace. Peace, peace. There is no peace.

 

@ 1:25:15 I have peace. I’ve not had peace for a long time. I’ve had a happy life.

 

@ 1:25:36 But, I’ve not been at peace. This has been a hundred burs under my saddle for a long time. A challenge. I kept going when I shoulda died multiple times in there. But I did, and I'm glad it's over. I'm at peace.

 

King Saul did not have peace after he rebelled against God. He was sore vexed by tormenting spirits. How similar David C. Pack is to King Saul remains to be seen. Keep an eye out for Dave falling onto his lawn dart.

 

@ 1:26:38 And I and I it it I would be at peace. It’s a combination of things. But, the greatest one would be this this this baby is over. There’s nothing else to say. You can’t make it simpler.

 

@ 1:27:57 So, we don’t have another year. I just thought maybe you would appreciate hearing that, you know, at least for the next few days, I’m at peace. I hope you are, too. There is no 456. Godspeed sundown in Jerusalem this week.

 

His peace lasted less than two days. It probably departed before he entered the elevator. Of course, there would be Part 456.

 

Part 456 – June 24, 2023

@ 00:05 Why are we still here? [laughs] Well, partly because I didn’t leave for my vacation…So, if I’m still around [laughs] and some Mystery remains, then, I guess, it has to be explained.

 

 

David C. Pack is desperate to find creative excuses for why the unending series is unending. If anyone has a clever idea, please write Church Administration (cad@rcg.org) to submit your suggestions. They need them ASAP.

Part 456 – June 24, 2023

@ 00:38 This Series is unnatural. I would go so far as to say it’s strange in manner and length. What we’re going through is not natural.

 

@ 03:14 And it occurred to me, in some ways, brethren, what we’re doing…457 [Parts] today. 837 hours. Essentially, explaining, in many regards (you could say), the whole Bible. It would seem strange to somebody, even in God's church in the Seventh Era, would say this is strange. And yet, here we are doing it. So, if it feels like it's going on and on, that's only because it is going on and on [laughs]. All right? If it feels a little odd, why won’t it end?

 

It will not end due to arrogance, pride, foolishness, wickedness, and blindness. I do not see how that is funny.

 

Dave’s tortured introduction does not hold up biblically with one simple observation. In all his Bible examples, God instructed all those men to do what they did.

 

God has told David C. Pack to do nothing.

 

@ 10:15 We may think we’re just goin’ through a long, strange Series that just won’t seem to end. But from God’s perspective, it has to end right.

 

This will never end right because God is not behind it. God cannot feed His sheep fraud and lies. David C. Pack feeds the brethren of The Restored Church of God fraud and lies.

 

@ 10:25 It’s a permanent record referred to over and over and over in His word, and I'm gonna show you… that [Part 456] is part of the clearing up that has to take place today.

 

The exrcg.org website is now also part of the permanent record of what David C. Pack says. I am a scribe and a witness to what is taught inside The Restored Church of God. It is ONLY possible because the grace of God Almighty allows it to be so. It will end when He decides.

 

 

While Dave winds up the audience, he prepares to wow them with another mistranslation that has thwarted his ability to get things right.

 

@ 11:09 Now, one of the things I need to explain is I found another mistranslation. I need to clear it up, and I'll tell ya what it means. We’ve thought there were three kingdoms and one king. One Sixth King. That’s a mistranslation. There’s actually six kingdoms and three kings, so we’ve got four more years to wait. No, I’m just kidding.

Funny, right?

 

That was Dave’s twisted attempt at humor. Some broken-headed idiots in the audience laughed. The saddest part is if David C. Pack kept going on to teach about three kings and six kingdoms, the brethren would buy it without question. They swallow everything he feeds them. And Dave knows it.

 

@ 11:40 That was a joke. Obviously not very funny.

 

That was some zinger. Especially for those living in pain or desperately wanting to see their deceased loved ones “any day now.” Hardy har har.

 

@ 11:54 We’re right on track. Sorry. I’m just prone to those kinda cracks.

 

I wonder if being “on track” was part of the joke. Ironically, not.

 

Dave then exposes a moment of honesty that sums up the mental state of the Headquarters enablers.

 

@ 12:11 When I cracked that joke at the table, the ministers at the table laughed. So, they probably thought they had to.

 

The hirelings laugh at his callous jokes. The hirelings fully agree with his false doctrines. The hirelings nod their heads no matter what nonsense comes out of his mouth.

 

The Restored Church of Another god is a white-washed sepulcher filled with dead men’s bones and all manner of filthiness.

 

And nothing about that is funny.

Marc Cebrian

See: David C. Pack Is Not Funny

Dave Pack: We Can Finally Reveal How He Receives His Amazing Revelations

 Preacher sneakers, no tie, and a baggy suit.

Things must be worse than we imagined!

Picture source: Marc Cebrian

Snarkiness: mine

Dave Pack and King Poutine VI

King Poutine VI

 

David C. Pack of The Restored Church of God has kept himself plenty busy after the most important Ministerial Conference since Acts 15. It was important for, you know, reasons…I suppose?

 

Four messages since the Conference between June 17 and June 24 have crowded my To Do List with a fifth scheduled for today, July 1.

 

“The Greatest Unending Story!" Final Parts 453 and 454 were followed by final Part 455, and then, final-maybe Part 456. Cross your fingers that today’s post-vacation “all is well, and we are on track!” Part 457 means the Series is over. Finally. My advice: Do not choose to die on that hill.

 

Having a group of four messages totaling over five hours to examine together serves a clear advantage. The evolution of doctrines reveals discernible patterns. You can also tell when Dave is sure about his malarkey, as opposed to when he long-windedly soft-pads a weak premise. Some “knowledge” comes and goes. Others stick. 

 

The usual date-setting continued unabated. Well, until he realized it was not his assignment far too late.

 

The Kingdom of God Arrives on Tammuz 1 (June 20)

The Kingdom of God Arrives on Tammuz 5 (June 24)

The Kingdom of God Arrives on Tammuz 12 (July 1)

 

These dates are not new if you regularly visit the exrcg.org website. They are posted even when a corresponding article is not.

 

Even though today is another soft failure for David C. Pack, that is not why you are here.

 

 

“One Is” Not Hitler

 

During “The Greatest Untold Story! (Part 453)” on June 17, 2023, Pastor General David Crowl Pack of The Restored Church of God, located in Wadsworth, Ohio, USA, identified Russian President Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin as the prophesied Sixth King of Revelation 17.

 

Revelation 17:10

And there are seven kings: five are fallen, and one is, and the other is not yet come; and when he cometh, he must continue a short space.

 

Behold the face of the Sixth King!

And warm greetings to our visiting comrades from the Russian Consulate. More on that later.

 

The identity of the Sixth King has been held for two weeks. One fascinating observation is that during all four messages, Bold Dave never uttered the sentence, “Vladimir Putin is the Sixth King.”

 

So, how did he pull off identifying the Sixth King as Mr. Vladimir Putin without stating it plainly?

 

By association.

 

I suspicion Grandpa Dave was being extra cautious just in case the Russkis caught wind of his little declaration hobby. Or maybe he wanted some level of plausible deniability when he needed to moonwalk this doctrine as he did twice with Pope Francis being the Man of Sin.

 

 

There are more quotes than usual on purpose. This article aims to be exact and precise in substantiating the claims of David C. Pack just in case a foreign government agency happens upon this. Stranger things have happened.

 

The Journey To Coronating A King

 

Part 453 – June 17, 2023

@ 00:21 Well, truly, we’ve reached the end. I have to tell you from many perspectives, I look forward to giving both these messages almost as much as anything I’ve ever covered…But a short follow-up message is in order. I don't know if it's short, but it focuses on the Sixth King.

 

@ 02:20 And if we can identify the Sixth King with great clarity and detail. Let me say that again. With great clarity and detail. If, instead of thinking we're looking for him, that, in fact, we are staring at him, that will tell us we are very close.

 

@ 13:59 We’re still clearing out the Mystery of God…Who is the Sixth King?

 

Twenty-eight painful minutes later, he finally circles around. Being concise is not his strength.

 

@ 41:57 So then, who is the Sixth King? Are we looking for him, or currently are we now staring at him? Three weeks ago, I identified him, and the men around me know that I did. I said, It’s gotta be this man. But I thought, No, it can’t be that man because that man has got to be someone inside the Kingdom.

 

To David C. Pack, what is the point of being right if nobody is around to bask in it? Knowing quietly for yourself is for fools.

 

@ 42:40 So, I eliminated who I knew the Sixth King was, and everybody around me, the ministers that walk with me, my wife, everybody knows that about two days before Pentecost, I figured out who he was.

 

David C. Pack desperately craves a great cloud of witnesses, proving he figured it out before anyone else. If you establish who knew first, you confirm who God reveals it to. Despite a perfect record of failure, this supports his legitimacy.

 

When it comes to the perception he is directly used by God, Dave gets cocaine hungry about nonsense like this. The Spirit of Error is crying with laughter.

 

@ 42:59 So, if I can prove to you that the Sixth King “now is,” …then the Kingdom has to be on top of us. 

 

@ 43:53 My job right now is to tell you about a man who becomes, in many regards, the most powerful metric in the Bible.

 

David C. Pack puts all his legitimacy chips on the table. He must accurately identify the Sixth King of Revelation 17 for prophecy to commence. By doing this, he bankrupts Herbert W. Armstrong's great claim to fame about him, accurately identifying Adolf Hitler as the Sixth King in the midst of World War II.

 

Dave must increase while Herbie must decrease.

 

@ 52:08 He [God] says He picks a man who wanted to know His heart and mind, so if this is correct (and it is), and it’s because God wanted to reveal it at the end. I didn’t reveal anything.

 

Meaning if he is wrong, it is God's fault. David C. Pack never shies away from blaming God.

 

 

The introduction of Part 453 established the main topic of the “one is” Sixth King of Revelation 17. One hour later, he finally rolls up his sleeves.

 

@ 1:03:02 We might ask, Would we expect that the Sixth King would be a Mede? He would be a Russian.

 

@ 1:03:20 Vladimir Putin is known to admire the great Russian Czars. I’ve read a lot about this man.

 

@ 1:03:44 Here’s what his first name means: “to rule with greatness” or “peaceful ruler” and “ruler of the world.”

 

Dave piles on the "proofs" pointing to Mr. Putin for twenty minutes.

 

@ 1:22:05 “Putin Projects Defiance At Economic Forum.” He’s almost the front page every day of the Wall Street Journal.

 

If it is in the Wall Street Journal, it is crucial to prophecy because the Wall Street Journal is important to Dave. What other means could God use to relate information to His prophet? Audible communication is out of the question.

 

@ 1:24:44 Somebody thinks it’s some who thinks it’s somebody else. All right. Who else? And what alternative is there? I know it’s him. Everything lines up.

 

@ 1:25:45 I didn’t just come to this. I finally came to grips with it. That there’s not time for anyone else. The Sixth King now IS. And nobody else has ever known it. We have to know it.

 

@ 1:30:12 So, this is all faith-building. If your faith didn’t grow as a result of hearing this sermon, then there's something wrong.

 

There is something wrong if people are still there listening to this.

 

My faith DID grow during this sermon. My faith is that David C. Pack is a false prophet, a false apostle, and a blaspheming liar. My faith grew that David C. Pack is not led by God or inspired by the Holy Spirit. My faith increased because David C. Pack spews foolishness upon the brethren of The Restored Church of God, and everyone there should flee fast enough to leave a cartoon hole on every wall.

 

@ 1:30:36 You’re seeing prophecy fulfilled.

 

@ 1:31:00 It’s no longer just “Mr. Pack just telling us what will happen.” It’s happened. He’s here now. It’s impossible that it’s anybody else.

 

@ 1:31:26 I’ve been studying Vladimir Putin since he worked for the KGB. He speaks fluent German and worked in East Germany. I understand the man.

 

Great minds think alike.

 

 

The Sabbath was not yet over for the unfortunate souls in Wadsworth on June 17. After suffering through a rushed meal, Dave delayed their evening plans for another eighty-seven minutes.

 

Royal Apéritif

 

Part 453 – June 17, 2023

@ 09:05 Now, let’s think of one other reason why it’s easy to know it’s Putin.

 

That is as close as he gets to the perfect, YouTube-worthy statement I was listening for.

 

@ 10:17 So, in the end, even though it shoulda been easy to see, it wasn't. But, in the end, it's not hard. It’s easy. You just there are very few candidates. You gotta be in Europe. That’s the center of Christianity.

 

@ 11:16 In the end, it’s a no-brainer. But not until God removes from our thinking first that Mr. Armstrong (was wrong on Hitler) and then and we’re sorta, “Okay, wait a minute. There’s one more.” But then, the next thing, it gets kinda gets your mind looking, “All right, this guy is he’s alive on earth today.” That’s the way I saw it.

 

Dave once again hauls Herbert W. Armstrong out to the curb for garbage pick-up. The man went to his grave believing a big, fat lie. How many lies will Dave be clutching when they lower his casket?

 

@ 12:59 Why did we only identify the Sixth King now?

 

@ 1:15:19 So, the Series is over. Simplicity truly reigns.

 

The next quote is Dave projecting his desired outcome sprinkled with the “who else” rationale.

 

@ 1:23:45 You’re convicted about the Sixth King. That’s what you could look at your own convictions. Who else could it be? And, you know, it’s in some ways it’s an easy thing. It's here, and so I would imagine everybody is convicted about it. I’ll be shocked if people aren’t.

 

The bored-face lion food young people slumping in their chairs are not convicted. Their parents are not buying it either, but they hide it better.

 

@ 1:24:01 I gave a fraction of this after lunch Thursday to ministers still in the room, and it was obvious to everybody. So you heard a message this afternoon that was, I believe, absolutely convicting. No one could ever tell me it’s anybody else.

 

The Bobble-Head Ministers thought it was obvious? Now, that is shocking.

 

 

After Russian President Vladimir Putin was correctly proven to be the Sixth King of Revelation 17 by David C. Pack of The Restored Church of God, all that was left to do was to keep re-emphasizing it.

 

Dear Skimmers: Please keep reading. You will not regret it.

 

Maintenance Mode

 

Part 455 – June 21, 2023

@ 02:05 But, you think of Moscow and think, "Well, that’s not really Europe.” We know it’s Europe because it’s the Sixth King, but one of the things that Putin is so upset about, and the reason he won't destroy Kyiv [Ukraine], it’s because he knows it’s the ancient capital of his country. Truly, a European capital.

 

@ 07:05 We could ask the question (incidentally), If we had another year, would God have Elijah rise and poke the bear? Literally, go poke the bear. The Russian bear? No. There’s no evidence of this…He’s primarily a metric. Just, you know, one IS, or one IS here, or one IS now. Think of that way.

 

Even Bold Dave would not want to poke the Russian bear.

 

Dave reports on the Russian coup that was thwarted that morning while framing how it ties into Bible prophecy.

 

Part 456 – June 24, 2023

@ 07:12 …and he decided to stand down when he was 120 miles from Moscow. It was gonna become a civil war, and it would have threatened the Sixth King. Now, you might wanna consider the devil knows there has to be a Sixth King. And to threaten and stop that at the last minute would be a goal of his. The devil always wants to frustrate the purposes of God.

 

@ 08:00 …this man has to be in a condition of IS. Not WAS. One IS now. One IS here. He can’t be overthrown.

 

Comrades, Mr. Putin shall be blessed and succeed in all his efforts going forward.

 

@ 08:28 Suddenly, the Sixth King, more powerful than all the others, combined and tripled and quintupled. Suddenly he's under tremendous threat from one of his friends. And just as suddenly, it’s as though God intervened, and he stood down and flew into exile in Belarus, where you can (if time goes on) you can be sure he will be killed.

 

@ 1:42:50 This is a deeply unstable world. Putin threatened all the nations of the West, “Do not get involved in this insurrection.”

 

 

Welcome To The Real

 

Part 455 – June 21, 2023

@ 07:47 Another year, we’d have to really tip-toe and be careful that we didn’t say something that could create great problems. It’s enough that I’m saying now. So, I would like you to think about that. We’d hafta unless God wanted us me to go out and actually indict him. Why? Why? It’s never happened before.

 

Dave and Brad turned out to be right about me in one aspect, after all. I just can't keep my big mouth shut.

 

Oh, yes. I really did. Moments ago, this email was sent to the Russian Consulate.

To: rusembusa@mid.ru, communications@rcg.org, dpack@rcg.org

Subject: Mr. Vladimir Putin: You Are A King!

Date: July 1, 2023

 

Dear Mr. Vladimir Putin,

 

I trust you had an enjoyable breakfast.

 

My name is Marc Cebrian, and I live in The United States of America. I thought it would be of great interest to you to learn that a local minister has declared to his entire church that you are a crucial element of Bible prophecy.

 

David C. Pack is the Pastor General of The Restored Church of God (www.rcg.org). He is both an apostle and a prophet. More compelling than this, he is That Prophet Elijah. Since you and he are both mentioned in the Bible, it seems you would have plenty to discuss upon meeting in the future.

 

As David C. Pack revealed the meaning of the Mystery of God during his over seven-year sermon series, “The Greatest Untold Story!” and after much toil and consideration, God revealed to David C. Pack that you, Mr. Vladimir Putin, are the Sixth King of Revelation 17:10, as recorded by the Apostle John on the island of Patmos.

 

Congratulations.

 

This profound knowledge was brought to light during “The Greatest Untold Story! (Part 453)” on June 17, 2023. Did anything feel different to you that day?

 

Revelation 17:10

And there are seven kings: five are fallen, and one is, and the other is not yet come; and when he cometh, he must continue a short space.

 

It must surely be exciting news to learn you are not only a king, but your rise to world fame and power was foretold in the New Testament Bible. This was always meant to remain a secret until the appropriate time/season. Now is the time!

 

Everyone owes David C. Pack their gratitude for bringing this important matter into unmoving clarity.

 

One of the side benefits of being the personage prophesied to be the “one is" is that you will experience more tremendous success in your efforts for European domination. You shall be blessed in your efforts, and none of your enemies will be able to prevail against you. As an added bonus, you cannot be harmed until Jesus Christ returns to earth. That is truly something to ponder.

 

If you would like to hear further details on this matter, please contact David C. Pack at The Restored Church of God Headquarters in Wadsworth, Ohio, USA.

 

Here is their contact information:

 

RCG Communications

The Restored Church of God

1.330.334.2266

communications@rcg.org

dpack@rcg.org

 

Thank you for your time and consideration.

 

Sincerely,

 

Marc Cebrian

 

P.S. – You may wonder how David C. Pack is qualified to make such claims. It is because, from a very early age, he learned how to doodie in the toilet and not in his pants. Once you both meet, he will be happy to tell you all about it.

 

Marc Cebruan

See: King Poutine VI